Sep. 18, 2008 - Pics Finally!
I found the chord! I can put my pictures on my computer again! And once again sorry they are so big. I still don't know how to make them smaller, although I'll admit I haven't been losing any sleep trying to figure it out.
This is the box the boys decorated for my dad's birthday. He loved it! He builds things out of wood and has made them several boxes so he was pleased that someone gave him a box for once. He collects them.
The blue card was from Nathaniel and he did all the writing himself. It isn't exactly straight and notice the capital A because he doesn't like writing the lower case a. Ha!
My dad doesn't like having his picture taken and I never did get a good shot of his face. He was too busy looking down and talking to the boys.
They love climbing rock walls!
And racing. Nathaniel is a lot faster with his longer legs but Seth tries his best!
"Look Mom, I'm doing it without falling!"
This boy's sweet spirit lights up my day.
Building with Daddy. The quality is low, even for me, but it was a weird lighting day and hey, I don't even pretend to understand my camera. I'm trying though.
We made snickerdoodles again last night on a whim. They turned out much better than the first time because they had more sugar and cinnamon on them. The next time we see my Mother-in-law we are going to make a batch for her because they are her favorite.
I called my Nanny last night and talked to her for over an hour. I sure do miss her. I did okay until at the very end of the conversation she was telling me she loved me and that I was still her baby and would always be her baby no matter how old I got. She's told me this all my life and I know it's true. Once I hung up though, the tears had to come. I wasn't just sad, though, I was happy too because I am so blessed to know her. I have complicated emotional combinations sometimes.
Today we are finally doing the paint/chalk/science/math/art thing we were going to do last week. The box turned out to be enough of a creative outlet and we didn't have time for it. It should be fun and messy, the perfect activity for us.
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Sep. 17, 2008 - A litte bit more.
Well since I appear to be okay with sharing things I guess I can get into a little more that hit me last night.
My uncle Alan died in a car accident at the age of 24. I was 9. We had just started going to church and my faith journey was new and exciting. Then my life was thrown for a loop with this loss. He was very special to me and it just seemed so cruel. I realize now that I blamed God, at least a little. Yes, I tried to think positively, that this was actually right or good. But reality was that it hurt the people closest to me and the pain was excruciating.
It will be 18 years this November. I realized that I have spent the last 18 years of my life desperately wanting to trust God but being absolutely terrified of doing so. You see, what if I trust Him and then lose someone else? "His will, His plan is perfect" and all that. Well what if His plan involves my pain?
Yeah, what if. Like I'm the only person in this world who has pain. I can make a list that's quite long of people who are suffering more than I ever have.
God's only Son died on the cross for me! Hello! He had no sin yet He took on mine and everyone else's. Talk about pain! I can't even bear my own sin much less the sin of the rest of the world.
I have lived the last 18 years of my life in fear. I feared losing my parents or other special family members. Then I met Dustin and I feared losing him. Then I became a mom and feared losing my children. Is there a greater pain than that? I can't even imagine. But God knows.
For the first time I actually asked God to take that fear away. It doesn't come from Him and has no place in my life. And where most nights I would be kept awake thinking about the what-ifs of tragedy, the things I would do to spare myself, the things I would do to help the situation, I let it go. Really let it go. And I slept.
I woke this morning to a new day. And I know that I will face fear again. But it won't, it can't take a hold of me like before.
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Sep. 16, 2008 - Some personal insights.
I have been learning a lot about God and myself lately.
I have a copy of My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers and sometimes I remember to read it. Last week I read something quite profound, or at least it was to me. He wrote, "The warfare is not against sin; we can never fight against sin-Jesus Christ conquered that in His redemption of us."
I know, I know, that seems like kind of a duh statement. Yet how often do I find myself trying to fight on my own? Well since you don't really know me I'll have to tell you: Daily. I realized that my thinking was skewed. I knew that I had been set free but instead of letting God really free me I tried to take the reigns and be free on my own.
That doesn't make sense, I know. It does in my head but not when I type it out. A great communicator I am not.
I "know" this and let my "knowledge" precede my belief of faith. I try to take over and fix myself, try to conquer my own sin.
I can't tell you how many times I have had this thought run through my head: There are so many things wrong in my life that I don't even know where to start!
Why did I think I had to start anywhere but Faith??? Seriously? It's crazy because I have said time and time again to other people, "God doesn't expect us to come to Him perfect, that's His job! He takes an imperfect yet willing, yielding vessel and does a great work in them."
So is this my actual first step in letting go my perfectionism?
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Sep. 16, 2008 - I can't find it!
I can't find the chord to get my pictures from my camera to my computer! I know it must be in a quite obvious place as I would never put it in an out of the way place, no not me. I always put things exactly where they go, where it makes sense for them to be.
Yeah. Right.
Thanks to a great idea from a forum I frequent my kids now have a fun new game to play while practicing a little bit of math. Remember the card game "War"? Yeah, the one that can take forever to play! Well we play a much more condensed version. If I remember correctly from my childhood you are supposed to play until one person is totally out of cards. They just play until they get through the cards in their hands and whoever has won the most wins the game.
Although, I'm not really sure if they are getting the concept of which card has the greater number because they both flip their cards over and when I ask which one is greater they both yell "MINE!". It's cute but it can get quite loud.
I found a neat book of preschool crafts today. It even has patterns to make the crafts which is great for me because I can not draw and find it annoying trying to figure out how to make my own.
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Sep. 11, 2008 - Rainy days
Yesterday we celebrated my dad's birthday. He loved the present the boys made for him! Once I get the pictures on the computer I'll post them. They really did a great job with it.
We have had cooler weather yesterday and today. I'm so pleased. I'm ready for autumn. It's been rainy and dreary though and today it's leaving me feeling sleepy. I feel okay, just tired. Or is it lazy? haha
We slacked off on school time this week. Not to say we didn't do anything, just nothing I had planned to do. And I'm okay with that. I refuse to beat myself up for not following my schedule sometimes. It's not always a bad thing!
I think Nathaniel has needed a break from trying to write. He is a perfectionist like his mommy and if I'm not careful he can really get himself worked up over not getting things perfect. Even if he doesn't think a break was a good idea, I know it was. I don't want him getting frustrated or upset with himself over things.
Oh! I almost forgot! The boys found a set of wooden blocks for $5! The original price sticker said $29.99. They are brand new but were donated because they left the factory missing the square shaped blocks. But they haven't missed them at all and have 150 other shapes to build with. I have pictures of that too.
I think my spaghetti is about done. I guess I have to finally get the clean laundry off of the table so we can eat. I told you the rain was making me lazy today. I'm looking forward to a bit of sewing after dinner. :)
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Sep. 8, 2008 - Fun Weekend
Saturday was such fun getting together with the families from church. There were kids close to the boys' ages so they didn't feel left out. In fact I didn't hear a peep out of them after dinner except when they came to ask for something to drink!
The adults had a great time talking and playing games. Dustin and I haven't been able to do anything like that in a while and I for one found it refreshing. It being a family thing made it all the more enjoyable.
Today was a relaxing one. We all overslept so we didn't make it to church. :( But Dustin made us brunch (I LOVE it when he cooks!). I watched the Carolina Panthers win over the Chargers. Such an exciting finish! I hope they can keep the winning up this year. We had a simple dinner with easy cleanup.
We finished the Magician's Nephew and I don't know when we'll get to read The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. If I didn't have those pesky library fees keeping me from using my card the problem would be solved.
*Note to self: Do NOT go out of town and forget to return library books because you will not remember that you forgot when you get home and before you know it you have had the same 20 books for 2 months.* 
Maybe I can find a used copy for a decent price. Even brand new would be cheaper than the fees. They will just have to wait till another month.
Unfortunately I didn't get any pictures of this weekend's fun. I was too busy enjoying it to pick up the camera.
This week should be a great one. We are celebrating my dad's birthday on the 10th and the boys want to make him something. I don't know what yet but we'll figure it out. And we are making chalk and paint this week and playing around with mixing colors to do it. We'll cover math, science, and art with one project! I'm getting chills just thinking about it. No, really I am.
I will for sure post pics of all this!
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Sep. 5, 2008 - I'm a Very Bad Blogger
And that's as much of an apology or explanation as I'm going to give. 
Okay, so we started school August 4th. I gave Nathaniel the choice to start then or after Labor Day and he wanted to start as soon as we could. I love that kind of enthusiasm!
He is four, won't be five until January and Seth is only three so we didn't buy a formal curriculum since it is basically preschool and some kindergarten thrown in for some challenge. He is rising to the challenge though! I never imagined the kid who is a bundle of energy would want to sit down to do worksheets. Yet he does and almost daily asks to do more.
I knew he wanted to write letters and I printed out tracer pages but then he saw workbooks in Walmart and asked if I would buy one for him. Well okay then.
We are reading through their Bible story book and a kids' devotional book my aunt gave them. Let me tell you, these kids have amazing retention! I shouldn't be surprised given who their father is, but I am. They are remembering names and keeping them straight!
We are also making sure we know the alphabet and letter sounds. Nathaniel continues to sound out some words and is always asking me what something says or how to spell something.
We are doing basic math: which is greater, number order, one to one ratios, simple addition and subtraction. One huge breakthrough is that he can now count to 20 without skipping numbers! He had developed the habit of skipping 15-17. He even counted up to 65 only asking for help 3 times.
What else...Oh we have nature notebooks and I try to get out to a park or something once a week in order to have a nature study. Of course we are outside more often than that, but at least once with our notebooks. It is so much fun.
We are currently reading The Chronicles of Narnia: The Magician's Nephew. I must get to the used book store for The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe soon as we only have 2 chapters left!
Let's see, oh I have found so many good books lately and I don't dare list them all. My favorites are 4 different Hardy Boy books, Charlotte's Web, Little House on the Prairie, a book of science experiments, children's stories by Charles Dickens, picture book of World History, picture book about Abraham Lincoln (Nathaniel is obsessed) and also one of George Washington, the sequel to My Side of the Mountain (we already have it) and A Wrinkle in Time.
Oh the places we can go and the things we can learn from books! It's so exciting!
We had a park day today even though it rained a little. We didn't let it dampen our spirits.
Tomorrow we are going to get together with several families from church and have a blast. I can't wait!
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Jul. 23, 2008 - Impromtu History
I love being home with my children! We can learn so much everyday. I enjoy seeing them excited about learning.
Today at breakfast Nathaniel said something about "Indians". I'm not an overly PC gal, but really I would rather he say "Native Americans". After all, he's not talking about people from India is he?
Anyway that lead to a discussion on why Native Americans were called Indians for so long, and still are by some. We talked of Christopher Columbus, geography, and the belief that the Earth was flat.
I broke out the globe and showed them where all the places were and they could understand just exactly what CC thought he would be able to do.
The more I break out of my public schooling mindset from my youth, the more I discover just how easy, fun, and natural this homeschooling endeavor is.
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Jun. 9, 2008 - Summer time ramblings.
We have been so busy lately. We have several weddings this year including one this coming weekend and I'm a bridesmaid. If I don't fall in the shoes all will be well. If I do fall in the shoes they'll have a funny wedding video. :)
We discovered that Nathaniel has outgrown his bike from last year so he got a new one a couple of weeks ago! He is very proud of it and he is doing quite well. It's amazing how much it helps to have a bike that is the right size. Ha!
He also had his first run in with yellow jackets a couple weeks back. He must have stepped in or near their hive while playing in some "woods" at my parents' house and he ended up with 5 stings. I have never heard that child cry like he did that day. I know it hurt and scared him. Bee stings are scary for me as my dad is quite allergic and my fear is the kids will be too. I guess we shall see if he gets stung again because it's the second and subsequent times that the allergic reaction happens.
My grandmother, Nanny to all of us grandkids, had hip replacement surgery last week. She is at home recovering well. She is one tough lady. She always stays positive and lets nothing get her down. I need to be more like her! My mom and dad went for a visit. I wish I could have gone too but maybe I can get down to see her before too long. She will always be very special to me and I miss her.
One reason I've been absent for a while is I have been creating and tweaking a more realistic schedule for our family. It's amazing what a little organizing and determination can do. My house is actually running quite well at the moment and I have so much more free time!
It's been hard work and it's not yet perfected but it's been very worth it. The kids even appreciate it because they are very willing to help out even more now. And they did a pretty good job before! I'm so proud of them because they have taken more responsibility for their room and playroom.
Today we read about Daniel and how God gave him the meaning of King Neb's dream so Daniel wouldn't be killed. The lesson Nathaniel learned from this: "God will protect us if we are ever in danger too!" :)
It has been hot here. It's 96 right now. I'm looking forward to some relief in the next few days with highs only in the 80s. We haven't been able to play outside as much as we'd like but we have been getting a good hour or hour and a half in the mornings before it gets unbearable.
I have started reading chapter books to the kids at bedtime. I've found several at Goodwill lately and I'm looking forward to a future trip to a local used bookstore. We finished Peter Pan last week and are now in the middle of Treasure Island. I know they are young but they listen and are enjoying it. It's amazing what they pick up and I keep realizing that I still don't give them enough credit.
I felt like I had more to report but that's all I can think of at the moment. I'll try to post more pictures next time because if anyone stumbles onto my blog and are like me, they enjoy seeing pictures. I love to peek into other peoples' lives and see how they live. :)
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May. 5, 2008 - I'm so proud of this kid.
Nathaniel, my four year old has always been quite intuitive and just seems to get things that I think are beyond his years. I remember when he was 2 we went for a walk on a wooded trail. At one point we stopped to look around and I asked him what he saw. I thought he would say trees or leaves or woods, something obvious. His reply was simply this: "Life".
So this shouldn't have surprised me tonight, but it did. We were reading in the kids' Bible storybook and there were some questions that parents could ask their kids. I asked this question, "How do you feel about Jesus having to die for us on the cross?" I thought he would say sad or that he didn't know. What I got was another simple, one word answer that was so profound it brought me to tears. He said, "safe".
Safe. Yes we certainly are safe in Him.
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Apr. 28, 2008 - Oh happy day!!!
A nice (albeit very wet) day has turned into a glorious one! We recently upgraded our computers. I got a newer/faster/better iMac and hubby got rid of his icky PC and now has a Mac tower. We are a family of Mac lovers. (I'll add here that the only reason he had a PC was for games, but he doesn't play any games that won't work on a Mac anymore) The boys have an old iMac, one of the color ones, in white. ;)
Anywho, on to the greatness. I thought last week that in the transfer from my old computer to my new one we lost precious video footage of the kids. I have been so upset over it that I couldn't even cry. That's really bad for me. Well, praise the Lord I found them today! They were in some obscure folder and I just happened to open it up wondering what was in there.
I thought I had lost Seth's first steps, his first Christmas and all sorts of other great memories of my sons' early(er) years. Words cannot describe my feelings at finding those safe and sound. Now my project is to finally get them all put together and burned onto DVD so we can all enjoy them.
We have had a good laugh over the weather today. Today is garbage pickup here and we had bags of yard waste on the side of the road and our trash cans as well. It was raining so hard this morning that the water swept the bags down the street! The boys thought this was hilarious. As they were pointing it out to their dad, he said, "Yep and look the water is taking one of the trash cans with them!" Sure enough it moved the can about 30 feet down the road. These are big trash cans too!
Last week Nathaniel finally got brave enough to hold a real live worm and then he went on to hold lots of caterpillars. They were everywhere at a local park! Seth was a bit more timid and didn't want to hold the worm at all but did eventually hold a caterpillar. The final verdict: they are "tickly".
If it dries up later this week my dad is going to take us all fishing. This will be their first fishing trip and they couldn't be more excited! I'm pretty happy about it myself as I haven't been in years and I really enjoy it. Dad has already promised to bait my hook for me though. I'm a squeamish girl after all. :)
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Apr. 22, 2008 - Glimmer of hope
When I started this blog last year I posted that my hubby was totally against home schooling but that I felt like it was what God wanted for us. I decided not to argue with him about it as that does nothing but make him more determined. I have prayed about it. I have gone on with life as if they will not end up in public school.
As of late he has been bringing it up in conversation. Things like, "That's why I don't want them home schooled. They will be too attached to you and won't learn any independence." It seems like he wants me to argue with him so he won't have to argue with himself. I flat out told him that I am not going to try to convince him of anything, that I have purposed to follow his lead on education no matter what he decides. He will not goad me into a debate.
Basically he is at the point now where people have just happened to bring up home schooling to him enough outside of us that he admits kids can be "socialized" (I still hate that word!) with all of the opportunities around. Has God been using these people? Hmmm, maybe...
He has always said that he doesn't doubt my ability to teach them, that I do a good job already. I appreciate that vote of confidence.
At this point we are down to what appears to be the last stumbling block: my 4 yo's attachment to me. Dustin is afraid that Nathaniel will be a "momma's boy" if he doesn't spend 8 hours a day 5 days a week away from me.
I say he needs more dad time. The problem is they are soooooo very much alike and their personalities clash. The way Nathaniel acts when this happens is an issue that needs to be resolved. I realize this and am in agreement with hubby. He whines for me and cries for me and generally throws a fit.
I have hope, though. He isn't old enough for kindergarten this fall. So I have over a year to work with him on this. He is 4 years old and should not whine. It is my fault that the kids whine because I obviously haven't done a good enough job training them to communicate correctly.
I don't want to crush his sensitive side as it is a part of him. But I do want to guide him to a better way of dealing with his emotions. It's past time to stop the whining. It never should have been allowed to develop in the first place. I stand guilty as charged.
God has brought us this far and He will continue to help us. I've always said that God would either change Dustin's heart or mine, but that we would end up in agreement over this thing. Something is happening and I give Him all the glory for it!
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Apr. 15, 2008 - Baby bunny and other stuff
My dad found a baby rabbit that had gotten away from its momma over the weekend. After it stayed in the same spot in their yard for more than a day and no momma rabbit showed up to escort the little one home, and after seeing a black cat staring at it in anticipation of a yummy meal, my dad picked it up and now has it in a temporary home.
My dad brought him over to show the boys today. They both thought he was very cute. Who can resist a little fluff ball of a baby rabbit? At hearing that we couldn't keep him because we already have a cat and aren't at a place to take on any other pets, Nathaniel decided that we could trade Sniffy (our cat, Seth named him because he likes to sniff everything) for the bunny because the bunny is so small and cute. Seth LOVES Sniffy so that didn't go over so well with him, or me for that matter.
No fears Sniffy Underfoot, (Underfoot is hubby's creation because, well, he's always underfoot) ye shall not be replaced so easily. Aren't we the greatest pet namers?
I'm not quite sure what my dad will do with him. He doesn't want to keep him because he is a wild animal and thinks he wouldn't be happy as a pet. But he also thinks it would be neat to have him around too. As a kid he brought home stray dogs I'm told. As a grown man bunnies. I guess you can't take all the boy out of a man, but then who'd want to? :)
Well that was long. I promised other stuff up there in my title as well. Dustin's aunt came over and we scanned pictures for that project for her grandmother. I think I mentioned that a while back. It was great fun! I got to see pictures of Dustin's great-great-grandmother! Apparently their family has a history of longevity, at least with the women of the family. I also got to see Dustin's great-grandfather. He was a handsome man. I love old photographs!
That is all the excitement I can think to share. Who knows what will happen tomorrow. I can't wait to find out!
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Apr. 14, 2008 - And the country is...
China! They picked China to learn about first. So all week we'll learn something new about the country and its people. They love seeing pictures, especially of the Great Wall. Nathaniel is fascinated by it and says he wants to visit.
He also desperately wants to learn to eat with chopsticks. I found a plastic set for eight a while back on sale for $1.50 so we can practice eating some foods with them. I don't want to toot my own horn, but I'm pretty good at it. I don't know that my technique is exactly right but it works for me!
I'm finding myself renewed today. I was up before them in enough time to get myself ready for the day, coffee started and oatmeal warming. Hooray for steel cut oats!!! I was halfway through my first cup of coffee and reading my Above Rubies magazine when I heard sweet little boy voices talking to each other and the cat.
We've listened to the Jars of Clay Redemption Songs album (they love it, especially I'll Fly Away) and danced. We've colored and played with play-do. I've also printed out some stuff to color and stories to go along with our country. I also read the book, Abe Lincoln, The Boy Who Loved Books at Seth's request. We have a bit of a fascination with "Honest Abe" in this house. I haven't figured that one out yet, but I'm fine with it.
I've folded a load of laundry and am about to fold another. I've swept my living room floor. I have a clean kitchen. In other words I haven't been idle today.
The kids have good attitudes so far and I have had to correct very little. I'm very proud of them as I can see they are trying hard.
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Apr. 13, 2008 - A little catch up with pics
We are fortunate enough to have Guilford Courthouse National Military Park in our 200 year old city. It's beautiful and you can learn lots! Every year they do the re-enactment of the Battle of Guilford Courthouse. This year was my first time going after living in this city for 20 years. The boys absolutely loved it! Here are a few photos I took. I didn't get any of the living history stuff where they showed daily life back then. I'll do better next year.
I'm sorry that the pictures are so big but I don't really know how to make them any smaller. I guess I need to work on that...
The guys in the red coats in the first picture are on our side. They are the "band" as my sons say. You can tell the difference in the buttons and I think the collars. The next picture has the guys dressed as the British soldiers.
Both kids want to participate in this when they get older. I think they just like the horses, guns and cannons. We shall see how interested in history they are as they grow. I wouldn't call myself a history buff but I find learning how people used to live fascinating.
This next one is a statue of General Nathanael Greene. My Nathaniel thinks it's cool that they have the same name. They are spelled differently but he doesn't seem to care about that. :) The statue is huge too and that is quite impressive to a 4 and 3 year old.
Other things we've been doing include smelling the pretty flowers that have bloomed in our yard.
Learning to pedal. He couldn't do it last year! (And some raking of prickly things and leaves. I'm a procrastinator when it comes to getting those bags to the curb.)
Downhill truck races. I think Seth won this one, his is already out of the shot!
Flying like an airplane with sounds and all.
And showing me how he feels about the ants that have taken over their favorite dirt spot.
Don't worry son, I'll take care of it soon and you will be free to get as dirty as you please.
Tomorrow we start our new weekly thing. I found a globe in excellent condition at a thrift store for $5! We are going to pick a country and learn about the people and animals there and whatever else interests us. They seem excited about it so we shall see.
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Apr. 11, 2008 - Feeling Free
I am not a girlie girl. I just started wearing pink again about a year and a half ago. That was a stretch. I haven't worn dresses or skirts unless I had to since I was a very little girl. In fact, up until about 2 months ago I only owned one skirt and no dresses. I still don't own any dresses. But my skirt collection has grown to 6! Although, one is pretty dressy so it will be reserved for church or special occasions.
Why is this blog-worthy? Well it probably isn't. :) But I have had this picture in my mind for over a year now. Every time I think about being free (from sin, from struggles, from anything oppressive) I am always in a skirt. This is very odd for me as wearing skirts are so NOT natural.
Well I've decided to act on it. I got dressed this morning in my pretty, flowing, denim skirt. I'm still not sure on the physics of how a denim skirt can flow but it does. I have had a smile on my face all day! I feel so totally different and I love it.
I'm pretty sure I'm not going skirts only. There are some things that I will have to wear pants to do comfortably. And I'm not so sure about the whole winter and skirts thing. But I am looking forward to a wonderfully free spring, summer, and fall!
Nathaniel asked me why there wasn't any oxygen is space. Being the awesome, always turned on and ready to help my kids learn mom that I am, I told him I didn't know. Hey, I was busy trying not to get us killed while driving around town with all the crazies. He sat there for a couple of seconds and said, oh I know, it's because there aren't any trees! He amazes me everyday with his reasoning skills.
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Apr. 10, 2008 - Attitude change
I had a wonderful time in church last night. Worship was amazing with the presence of God. The message was timely and I pray it didn't fall on deaf ears. Pastor spoke of the church (not the building, the people) agreeing, loving, and working together. He spoke of putting differences aside. We can agree that God loves our city? Right. Then love people and work/serve.
He also spoke of our attitudes and how we are responsible for them. It isn't our circumstances that determines our attitudes but our heart. If I have a bad attitude then that's my fault and I need to change my thinking.
I look at my kids and I see all my bad attitudes and bad habits starting to develop in them. It makes me sick and angry at myself that I've been such a bad role model for them.
It's a beautiful thing when God works on your heart. Yes, it's also scary and yes in brings feelings of guilt. But God's grace abounds and His mercy is new every morning. Praise the Lord for His love!
I cannot wait to see where He takes me.
On with the kid news. Seth is amazing me with his alphabet knowledge! It's one thing to know the song and another to really know letters by sight and correct order. There is a game on their computer that gives four or five letters at a time and your job is to put them in the correct order. He is really good at that.
Nathaniel has lots of very intelligent science related questions. I'm finding myself not able to answer them on a level he can understand. Since today is library day, I'm going to look for simple science books for little kids that can help me put it in terms he can get. I sure hope they have something like that at our branch.
It's becoming apparent quite early that I didn't learn very much in school. Oh, I made great grades. It stayed in my head long enough to pass a test, but I didn't ever really "get" the concepts. I never really learned to think for myself to solve problems. It's exciting being able to learn these things all over again with my kids! We are truly discovering the world together.
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Apr. 9, 2008 - Heart Change
I finally broke down and bought Created to be His Help Meet a few weeks ago. I have been wanting it since I knew Debi Pearl was writing it. After it was published I read what others thought of it. To say opinions can differ on this book is an understatement. Either people love it or hate it, and the Pearls themselves for that matter.
After reading it through once and now halfway through a second time I can't see where the disdain is coming from. I don't agree with everything the Pearls say. For instance I'm not KJV only. But I don't have to agree with them on everything to see the wisdom in their teachings. I have yet to find a teacher or church leader I agree 100% with on all aspects of life.
I have known for a while that I am not the wife I should be to Dustin. We will celebrate our 6th anniversary on June 1st and I am so happy to call him my husband. However, I know that he can't always tell how happy and thankful I am for him. My normal, what I've been practicing for as long as I can remember, is playing the victim.
My mindset has been that if someone hurts your feelings you should throw yourself a pity party so the offending person will realize just how hurtful they were to bring them to repentance. How silly and selfish, right? Thankfully Dustin isn't this way. Can you imagine if we both acted so childishly?
Most days because of my attitudes he probably thinks I'm very unhappy with him and my life in general. It's more clear to me now than ever that how I have acted is WRONG. I have been selfishly seeking to make myself happy at his expense, expecting him to change before I do. I've had moments of realization and have determined to "try" to change. But of course something always happens and I go off course once again feeling sorry for myself.
What do I have to feel sorry about? I have a wonderful husband who loves me, evidenced in that he is still here. No other man would be I assure you. I have two beautiful little boys who bring so much joy. I have a roof over my head, clothes on my back and food on my table. I have great family relationships. I have a great church and church family. The list could go on and on. God has blessed me beyond belief and yet I sit and complain. It's beyond terrible.
Today is the day I change. I purpose to be thankful and have my actions and words show it. I don't want my husband to wonder if I really love him, ever. I want him to know that I love him, am thankful for him, and need him. Because those things are true. I want to be the person who helps him, who is there for him. I want him to never question if I'll back him up or not, if I'll talk bad about him or not, if I'll leave him or not.
People can say what they want about that book but I know that God is using it to bring a change in me that is a long time coming. I look forward to a marriage that is more wonderful than I ever imagined because I know God can do anything, even change someone like me. And I know the amazing man I married and what he is capable of.
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Apr. 8, 2008 - Computer time has returned.
My father-in-law gave the boys and older iMac, you know the ones that came in all different colors. This one is white though. Anyway, they are little and it works quite well for the games he loaded on there. Some are just for fun but most are preschool and kindergarten learning games.
They had the computer taken away for a while because the mouse had gotten broken somehow. I know it was accidental but I wasn't going to go out and buy a new one immediately. I found an unused mouse yesterday while cleaning out some things so they have their computer back.
Oh the joy! I had forgotten how annoying some of the music is in those games! But they have fun and actually learn quite a bit from them, not to mention how to use a computer. In this house it's a must. Daddy is Mr. Mac Guy as his dad before him so the tradition continues.
Dustin's aunt is supposed to be coming over today after lunch to learn how to use iDVD to create a video slide show of photos of her grandmother. That's right, my husband's great-grandmother, the boys' great-great-grandmother, is still with us. I love it. The generation(s) before us are so precious and time spent with them is priceless.
My great-uncle passed away last week. What a man of God he was. He lived it. He never just talked it. He was and will continue to be a great inspiration to all who knew him. He and his wife have greatly impacted countless lives by their example. His wife, daughter, and granddaughter are all glad he is out of pain but I know they are missing him so much.
It has me thinking about my grandparents who live so far away. How I wish I lived closer to my Nanny. I could learn so much from her! I enjoy her company so much and it makes me sad to think of all the time I miss with her. Why did they have to put South Carolina and Georgia between North Carolina and Alabama? :)
It makes me angry to see young people getting annoyed at older people. Where is the respect anymore? Have we forgotten the wisdom of the aged? Their life experience should count for a lot but instead they are shoved aside as if they are in the way. I won't rant any further on that. I feel pretty strongly about it and I could get very long winded.
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Apr. 7, 2008 - I'm not good with titling these things.
This is me picking right back up where I left off pretending I haven't been away for months.
Okay, so for posterity's sake here are some educational updates.
Nathaniel (4) is beginning to read some words. Only very simple ones but that is a start! My main focus though is making sure he knows the letter sounds. He still gets confused sometimes. But his interest in reading is encouraging. He is also still doing simple addition and now subtraction. He loves numbers and loves to count. Now if only I could get him to remember that 15, 16 and 17 come between 14 and 18. :)
Seth (3) is still working on recognizing his letters. He is pretty much there but forgets sometimes. He is doing very well and really enjoys the letter flashcards we have. He is counting pretty well too but unfortunately thinks his brother's way is right as he leaves out the same three numbers.
We gave them 3 games as part of their Christmas. Candy Land, Chutes and Ladders and Memory are now favorites in our house. I'm so excited to be able to play these with them. I remember playing these as a child and really loving the time spent with my parents.
Oh and I have some encouragement on the whole home schooling front with my husband. He told me of a conversation he had with a guy at work where the guy told him that years ago he would have agreed with him but that now he isn't so sure and that with all of the opportunities available the kids might even be better "socialized" (yes, I'm cringing just typing that word) outside of public or private schools. My husband's response was something along the lines of, thanks for putting doubts in my head I thought I had it all figured out.
Then last week Nathaniel was very clingy and Dustin says that is the main reason he doesn't want me to home school them. He doesn't seem to think the kids will develop independence if they are with me and will grow up to be momma's boys. I am going to God in prayer about this because I can see where his fears are valid.
So I'm seeing the foundation of his anti-homeschooling beliefs starting to crumble and I'm getting hopeful once again. I'm trying not to get too excited as I don't want to be let down too badly if he still says no.
It's like I told my mom, either God will change his heart or mine over this issue. As long as I'm doing His will I will be ok.
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