A Mom's Journey

Friendship

I've been thinking a lot about friends and friendship lately.   Actually, I'm one of those people who never seem to have any real close friends (other than my husband).  But I've always been that way. Really I have my husband, my aunt and two good friends and of course the numerous acquaintances we all seem to have.    My husband however is Mr. Social Butterfly.  He has a several friends that he's known for over 20 years.  

One of the reasons this has been discussed lately is my three year old daughter.  My husband thinks she needs friends.  Okay, I guess.  But where do we find them?   I was part of a play group composed of ladies from church who have children the same age.  I actually gave that up.  The reason was the other children.   I never before in my life ever saw a 4 year old snob.  But now I have.   This one little girl would actually turn her nose up, grab another snobbish 4 year old's hand and walk away when my daughter said hi.   At first I thought I imagined it but, no, my husband's grandma saw the behavior at an event.  Also in the group are two terrorizers (their moms have no control over them and don't want to).  I just don't want to spend the whole time keeping my kids safe from them.   There is one mom I'm kind of close to and her boys are fine.   Occassionally they come to our house or vice versa and it is just fine but our schedules just don't come together very often.    One of my real good friends lives an hour away at least until next week when she is moving but I never get there.  She has a daughter the same age and the girls seem to play together okay.  So, unless I specifically go out searching there really isn't a playmate her age for her. 

Then of course, this started me thinking about my friends.  My "best friend" is suddenly not my "best friend" anymore.    Our relationship really changed.  She started dating my father in law.  I was very happy for them, if they can make it work for them great.  I didn't think the age difference was a problem or anything.   But here is the thing.  Things changed, at least on my part.  I simply didn't feel I could talk to her about everything anymore.  Then they had a fight.  My friend had had a horrible week at work on top of it, so I took ice cream and let her cry on my shoulder.  She told me they were over etc...  Well, two days later they are at my house all happy and in love.  It became clear to me that she told him everything we talked about the night I was consoling her.  Not that anything I wouldn't tell my father in law was said but it became clear that the relationship was definately different.  Now they are broken up again,  will they stay that way?  Who knows.   Regardless, things have changed and I don't think they'll be going back to the way they were before.  

It is amazing to me the twists and turns life has in store.   As my dad always told me, life is what happens when you are making plans.   I guess I just need to go with the flow and concentrate on raising my children and being my husband's best friend. 

Untitled Comment

11:27 AM, Apr. 22, 2006 .. Posted by Hereathome

I hope you are still blogging. :-) Friends are funny things. I am still trying to figure that one out. But I know that when I truly need a friend, they tend to present themselves. We will keep in touch and you will find more besides. So will Carolyn. :-)

Stephanie