Twenty or so days into Grade 9, my husband decided he no longer wanted our daughter to be homeschooled.  He asked me to enroll her in public school, and I did so with a heavy heart and a sick stomach.

I am still in shock.  I am sad beyond belief.  I am empty.

And I have been assured there's no bringing her back home.

 

I heard from the doctor at the Comprehensive Breast Center this week, and the news is excellent.  The MRI images show no evidence of cancer or of anything even suspicious.  The radiologist who ran and read the test and two doctors at the CBC are all in agreement.  Now the surgeon, who is on vacation, will need to hear this report and concur (hopefully; can't imagine why he wouldn't).  The next step is another set of mammos and ultrasounds in six months for monitoring purposes.

I thank God for His tender mercies toward me and my family.

I have set the Lord continually before me; because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.  Therefore, my heart is glad, and my glory rejoices; my flesh also will dwell securely.  (Psalm 16:8,9) 

Well...

Surgery had to be cancelled since a titanium marker that was supposed to be implanted in my breast last April (when I had the needle biopsy) was not implanted after all.  It's possible the needle misfired, but protocol says the doctor should have done a mammogram immediately after the procedure to ensure that the marker was indeed in there.  I was given no such mammogram.

It was a long day at the hospital, and after two additional mammograms and two additional ultrasounds, the radiologists and the surgeon conferred and decided that I would need a bilateral breast MRI before proceeding.  That is scheduled for this Friday.

I don't know what the Lord is up to, but we continue to pray for healing and for peace on the journey.  It has been exciting to meet so many new people and to be a witness for the Lord's grace and mercy as I travel through my 'enlarged territory.'

I pray that He continues to bless me, that I might be a blessing to all I encounter, for Christ's sake.

Stay tuned...

 

Tomorrow I will be undergoing a surgical breast biopsy.  The atypical cells found in the needle biopsy, plus the history of cancer on both sides of the family, led the breast specialist to determine that more tissue needs to be studied to rule cancer in or out.

The Lord has blessed my dh and me with a supernatural peace that passes understanding.  Even yesterday, when I struggled with doubt to the point of spiritual exhaustion, He turned my eyes back on His beautiful face, and I am at peace once again.

Prayers for a successful surgery and for complete healing would be wonderful.

Psalm 16:8,9 ~ I have set the Lord continually before me; because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.  Therefore, my heart is glad, and my glory rejoices; my flesh also will dwell securely.

Finally!  I have been able to complete the researching, planning, and purchasing for our Grade 9 program of study.  It has been a brain-numbing, spirit-stressing couple of weeks. 

My usual modus operandi has always been to take a couple of months over winter/spring to leisurely (key word here - leisurely!) do all this; but since my husband and I were going back and forth about whether to homeschool or not for high school (due to my major health concerns), when decision time came, I had less than a week to transform my tentative ideas into a cohesive program.  I wanted to attend our regional homeschool curriculum fair with shopping list and checkbook in hand in order to save on shipping costs as much as possible.

So, for anyone who is interested in my hastily assembled but hopefully solid program, here you go...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

BIBLE:
The Book of Psalms
The 100 Most Important Events in Christian History
Why the Bible Matters (BJU Press)
How Firm a Foundation (BJU Press)

ENGLISH:
Grammar & Composition  III (A Beka Book)
Themes in Literature (A Beka Book)
The Red Badge of Courage Study Guide (Progeny Press)
Classic and Contemporary Living Books
Essays/Research Paper
4H Speech Class (Toastmasters Jr.)

MATH:
Algebra I (Math-U-See)

HISTORY:
America:  Land I Love (A Beka Book)
Tied-in Living Books
Current Events

SCIENCE:
Exploring Creation with Biology (including labs) (Apologia)
Tied-in Living Books

ART:
Studio Lessons/Projects at local art studio

MUSIC:
The Gift of Music
Spiritual Lives of the Great Composers
Tied-in CDs and DVDs

PHYS ED:
Ballet Classes/Performances
Canoeing/Kayaking/Hiking (with Dad as available)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A field trip here and there (if I have the energy and money) and church youth group meetings/activities will be about all the extras we can fit in while still protecting the integrity of family time and guarding my overall health.

Here's to a fruitful year for all of us undertaking the blessed adventure of homeschooling!  "And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:19)

 

 

It started as a routine mammogram.  Which required a routine ultrasound.  Which required a needle biopsy.

The good news is I do not have breast cancer. 

I do, however, have atypical ductal hyperplasia, which in many cases, can be a precursor to cancer.

The next step is to meet with a breast cancer specialist/surgeon who will order an MRI and thoroughly review all test results and family history and make a recommendation as to the best course of action.  Best case scenario is that I'll just need frequent and continued monitoring; worst case scenario is a surgical biopsy in order to remove a larger section of tissue, the results of which could lead to a lumpectomy or mastectomy, depending. 

The Lord has seen fit to enlarge my territory by bringing me into the lives of many people whom, if I did not need this exploration nor have this condition, I would likely never meet.  I am thankful for the opportunity He has given me to spread the gospel, to share my faith, to encourage and to inspire, and to glorify His Name.  If I can do those things in His strength and by His grace, I will be blessed.

This has been a long couple of months, but through all the uncertainties and questions, He has held me and carried me and filled me with peace.  My spirit has indeed stayed steadfast.  I have prayed for healing and will continue to pray for healing, but I will rejoice in His love whatever His plan.

"I have set the Lord continually before me; because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.  Therefore, my heart is glad, and my glory rejoices; my flesh also will dwell securely."  Psalm 16:8,9   

 

Today I decided to finally relocate some of the books from the playroom where most of our bookcases dwell to bookshelf space in my everything room (you know the room I mean -- the tiny room that's perfect for a mini-office/retreat for mother and her stuff, but that ends up being the catch-all room for the family and their stuff). 

The 200+ Golden Books I had collected during the first 10 years or so of our older daughter's life are now safely nestled just under the Nancy Drew and the Dear America sets, on a small shelf tucked between my computer desk and my working desk.  Whenever I gaze at them I envision endless comfy couch time with my future grandchildren, should I be so blessed. 

Making the switch has opened up shelf space in the playroom for our growing collection of classics and contemporaries, where Moby Dick is neighbor to The Borrowers which is neighbor to Anne of Green Gables which is neighbor to A Series of Unfortunate Events and so on.  I do borrow books from the library religiously, but I occasionally fall prey to the desire to buy some and to build our own personal library.  There is great comfort in a few things in life -- among them are big mugs of steaming coffee, the sound of babies laughing, and of course, rows and rows of books standing at attention or reclining at ease just begging to be picked up and devoured.

When I think of my dream house (which, sadly, will only ever exist as a dream), there is a spacious room filled with sunny windows and overstuffed sofas surrounded by floor-to-ceiling bookcases packed with all that is good and satisfying for the soul.  And on a shelf at just the right height sit some 200+ shiny-spined Golden Books of once upon a time, waiting patiently to be loved by the next generation of readers and listeners.

 

Every year my husband and I face the same quandry about our daughter's education.  I love the homeschooling adventure, even though at times it's wearying, but my husband and I always have an annual discussion --  always around this time, too --  about what is the best option for the whole family for the coming year.  We look at everything -- our finances, my health, our daughter's learning style and character issues, etc.  This year is no different, except that with four years of high school looming, the decision is weighing more heavily on our minds and in our hearts.

I know for some of you, there's no doubt about what your plan is.  You've been called into the homeschooling lifestyle for the long haul, no matter what.  It's never been that way for our family.  Every year has brought unique challenges that we have had to face and deal with, and for us, the plan has always been a year-to-year decision.  We have just never felt comfortable setting a plan in stone so far into the future.

So.....here we are at the crossroads again.  And our options are the same as usual:  homeschool, Christian school, or public school.

While there are days when I would love to heave-ho our difficult daughter onto someone else's back and say, "Here!  You deal with her!", I know that is not, in the long run, the wisest or best thing to do.  Our challenges have to do with matters of the heart and not matters of academics. Even if she was gone for eight hours a day, we'd still have to face the character issues but with less time and energy than before.

To me, public school is an option only if I'm dead or incapacitated.  Christian school, while tempting, is pretty much a pipe dream due to my health issues.  I'd have to work part-time in order to earn the tuition, and my health just isn't that great.  I can't look at a computer screen for too long, I can't sit down for too long, and I can't stand for too long.  I also battle chronic fatigue on a daily basis.  Who would even want to hire me, LOL.  So that leaves homeschooling.

It's the most family-friendly option out there, and the one we always gravitate toward.  I just wish our own experience could be more peace-filled and joy-filled.  My head is pretty sore from all the wall-banging and head-butting that goes on around here.  I realize it takes two to tango, so obviously I have as much learning and growing to do as our daughter does.  The Father's chisel faithfully chips away at the sin that entangles me, and some day -- some day! -- I will be a completed work of art.

But until that good and glorious day, you will find me in the kitchen and in the world teaching our daughter what I know about life and what it takes to live it.  So, here's to high school at home -- let the chiseling begin!

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time, we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."  Galatians 6:9

 

 

I have been struggling with depression this autumn and winter, and the struggle has caused me to become more and more withdrawn from 'the world.' Worship and fellowship ceased for me when I hit rock bottom 3-4 weeks ago when I fled from church in a state of high anxiety.

Last Friday, a friend from church dropped by to say hello and give me a hug. Her visit was like a cup of cold water to me -- very needed, very refreshing. She wanted to know what she could do for me, and I asked her to please just pray me back to church, for starters.

This morning, I earnestly prayed that God would give me the energy and the courage to attend service with my family. His peace began to permeate my soul, and I was able to go through the motions of getting dressed and driving there. I was afraid that at any moment I would be overcome by anxiety and not make it through the doors. But I took His hand, and He led me to the fifth row where we usually sit.

Lord, I said, I can't sit here! It's too close to the front and too far from the exit! I'll freak out!

Trust Me, He said. I'll be sitting right next to you and filling you with My peace.

His peace continued to permeate my soul, not in a flood, but in a steady trickle, and I was able to stay and enjoy the whole service. The praying, the singing, the preaching -- all of it was a balm to my fearful heart.

I just want to praise God for His faithfulness. He never lets go of me, He never gives up on me. May those of you who are struggling in any way always remember this and be encouraged.

* White Chocolate Raspberry coffee creamer rocks.

* Give a cat a crumpled piece of paper and you've given him heaven.

* This is the last time we'll ever have 21 yo dd home for four weeks, unless she wants/needs to live at home for a time after graduation.

* Rainy, dreary days stir my soul more than bright, sunny days.

* There *will* be a Pirates of the Caribbean 4 movie, though I don't know when.

* When my husband was in his 20s he resembled Johnny Depp.

* "Tunnels" is a good, easy read.  The sequel, "Deeper", comes out this spring.

* I love my mother and father and am grateful I can still enjoy them this side of eternity.

* I can hardly wait for the movie Inkheart to hit the theater!  I'm so there.

Sometimes -- but not often -- I wonder about what went through God's mind when He created me.  I am unlike most females I know in one big regard, and since I know He doesn't make mistakes, this particular 'deficiency' must have been His plan all along.

I hate shopping.  Not the dreaming of and giving of special things for special people, but the actual physical labor required in the finding of said special things. 

Last night I had to endure The Local Mall in my search for a few Christmas presents, and I do mean endure.  Even though I dressed comfortably and fixed my face and hair, I think I must have metamorphosed on the 15-minute drive.  I am convinced the other shoppers saw only a freakish combo of Scrooge and the Grinch when I walked through the pearly gates and into the hallowed halls.

And what is it with the folks who congregate at The Local Mall anyway?  I am eternally stuck behind shuffling oldsters or immovable clumps of teenagers or strollers on steroids, around whom it is nearly impossible to nagivate.  'Scuse me!  'Scuse me!  'Scuuuuuse me! 

And the line at McDonald's was long, but I was patient.  Then it was my turn.  I had to give my order three times in s-l-o-w-m-o-t-i-o-n to the cashier, who kept scratching his head (ewww!) and pulling up his pants (ewww!) over my request for a medium coffee and a small fry.  Then I'm told it would be a few minutes because the coffee pot was empty, and they needed to brew a new batch.  Sigh.

I actually did manage to purchase a few presents during my four-hour visit at the torture chamber...um, sorry...The Local Mall.  That's the good news.  The bad news is that I'm not finished yet.

I love Christmas.

 

I decided to give our 14 yo daughter her new hands-on project for history today.  It's a 1,000-piece Ravensburger puzzle of DaVinci's painting "Mona Lisa."  You should have seen her face light up.

And instead of reading another chapter of the Bible and completing a worksheet, I popped in the dvd of "Solomon" (we have been reading II Chronicles).  You should have seen her face light up.

Once in a while I do something that might earn me the title of Cool Mommy.  :o)

October is my favorite month, but I am not my favorite self lately, so it's been almost impossible to enjoy both the season and life with any gusto.  The most I can come up with in the way of blog entry are these pathetic dribs and drabs...

*I love the way Pert Plus cleans and conditions my hair.  It comes out lightly scented and soft and fluffy.  But apparently I'm allergic to it, because I spent several hours just scritching and scratching my hyper-itchy scalp.  Bummer.

*Beware of my new favorite snack:  Racing Ranch Goldfish.  They are scrumptious, highly addictive, and give you horrible bad breath.  Bummer.

*The round golden metal 'halos' I bought last year for the praise dance girls have been discontinued at the craft store.  They were nearly perfect for their use as a base for ribbon garlands.  I need some for new girls and don't know where to begin my search.  If I can't find more just like the ones we have, I'll have to start over from scratch.  Bummer.

*Dh told me he's antsy at his job and would like to do something new (risky at his age, when retirement is only nine years away).  I found a fantastic opportunity for him to investigate, but he hasn't said boo about it in over a week.  Bummer.

Well, that was "fun reading" now, wasn't it... 

I have read "The Hobbit" only once, and that was over 32 years ago (I know because my maiden name, not my married name, is written inside).  I rarely read books twice, not because I don't love them, but because, as the saying goes, there are "so many books, so little time."  Yet I pulled this one off the bookshelf a few days ago and started reading it again. 

I love the opening paragraph...

"In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit.  Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat:  it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort."

Who could resist that invitation to continue on?

So, of course, I continued on and am having a thoroughly heart-warming visit with my old friends.  I noticed something peculiar this time around, as pertains to a certain Bilbo Baggins.  It would appear to all who know me well, that the two of us could be related.  Consider these similarities... 

"There is little or no magic about them..." ~ That's me.  I'm a very ordinary, Plain Jane kind of gal.

"They are inclined to be fat in the stomach..." ~ True, lately, I'm sorry to say.  It wasn't always this way.

"We are plain quiet folk and have no use for adventures. Nasty, disturbing uncomfortable things!  Make you late for dinner!" ~ What can I say?  I am Queen of the Homebodies and would be perfectly content to leave the house only once a week, if that were possible.

"Sorry!  I don't want any adventures, thank you.  Not today..." ~  It may look like a boring little rut to you, but it's mine, and I like living in it.

"He did not remember things very well, unless he put them down on his Engagement Tablet..." ~ Not only am I the Queen of the Homebodies, but I am also Queen of the Memory-Challenged, which, by default, also makes me the Queen of the Pencil & Paper Club.  I have a Teflon brain, and nothing sticks to it anymore.  Slides right off...

"He liked visitors, but he liked to know them before they arrived, and he preferred to ask them himself..." ~ Yep, yep, yep.

"Excitable little fellow.  Gets funny queer fits, but he is one of the best, one of the best -- as fierce as a dragon in a pinch..." ~ Like Bilbo, I can get flummoxed easily, but when push comes to shove, you'll want me fighting on your side. 

So, there you have it.  Bilbo and I are cut from the same cloth, and very nearly the same age, too.  I'm only up to page 31, but I am convinced that my roots trace all the way back to the Baggins clan (with a little wanderlust Took mixed in), straight around a winding branch, smack dab in the middle of a neither too-wet nor too-dry comfortable little hobbit hole.

Pull up a chair and have some tea.

Last night's closing ceremony for Camp Cadet was so moving.

To see all those state troopers and local police officers lined up and speaking the praises of the 52 cadets (boys and girls ages 11-14) for their tenacity and teamwork was just amazing.

Our 13 year-old daughter was chosen to carry one of the flags for her squad, so that was cool to see.

Throughout the week there were all kinds of competitions, and the three that earned awards tonight were for the wall climb, riflery, and softball.

There were six squads of about 10 cadets in each, and our daughter's squad won the trophy for the fastest wall climb (they had to get all the cadets in their squad up and over a 12-foot wooden wall based on their own plan) -- 1 minute and 14 seconds. Yay!

At the very end, the presiding officer had 1 girl and 1 boy from each of the six squads stand up as honor cadet for their respective squads, and our daughter was the girl chosen from her squad. Yay!

Then, the officer said that out of those 6 girls and 6 boys, just 1 girl and 1 boy would be named as the honor cadet for the entire camp. He also said that this year there was a tie for the girl's honor that wasn't able to be broken or resolved, so they'd be naming two girls for the award. When they said our daughter's name, I started to cry quietly. If I'd had buttons on, they would have been flying everywhere.

My ballerina bookworm, who has been telling us for four years that she wants a career in law enforcement but who was petrified the day we dropped her off at camp, will be going to the statewide Camp Cadet next summer for one week of really incredible programs (i.e. trip to Washington, D.C., and dinner at the governor's mansion).

I am so, so proud of her. We're all still riding high on the whole thing.

Right now she's soaking in a hot bubble bath, bless her heart. Then she'll plop in front of a the t.v. with some ice cream and watch a movie.

It's great to have her home again.

Wahooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

I'm having a hard time cranking out the plan this summer because, even though I am older (definitely) and wiser (hopefully), I am also more tired, both mentally and physically.  How's that for a 'splaination, Lucy?  Heh heh.  A girl can only try, right?  ;o)

But here it finally is...

GRADE 8 SCHEDULE 

MONDAY:
Bible
Easy Grammar
Algebra 1/2
History
Total Health
Feed My Sheep
(ALC homework?)

TUESDAY:
Bible
Easy Grammar
Algebra 1/2
History
(ALC homework?)
Guitar lesson (if there's a spot available)
Ballet class

WEDNESDAY:
ALC (homeschool enrichment center)
Cooking/Crafting (alternating)

THURSDAY:
Bible
Of Places Literature
Algebra 1/2
Life Science
(ALC homework?)
Drama club (autumn only)
Ballet class

FRIDAY:
Bible
Terrestria Chronicles (book study)
Algebra 1/2
Current Events
Life Science
(ALC homework?)

This coming week, while our daughter is away at camp and my husband is off at work, I will hunker down and start making the folders, setting up notebooks, and typing up worksheets in each subject area for about the first month of school.

So, I'm making progress, albeit more slowly than I have wanted.  The Old Grey Mare, she ain't what she used to be, LOL.  :o)

This word that our daughter discovered a couple of years ago is coming in handy once again in our lives.  It is defined as "anything that is full of twists and turns" and so adequately describes what has unfolded in the last month with regard to our homeschooling plans.

Being somewhat of a veteran in the researching, planning, and purchasing stages of homeschooling, I had finalized the plan for the coming school year by early May.  I knew exactly what we would be studying and what materials we would be using, and all of it was sitting on the shelf.  I *LOVE* the feeling of being ready, especially of being ready early.  I was looking forward to a relaxing summer break.

Ha!  Poor, unsuspecting Miss Muffet.  Along came a spider that sat down beside her and frightened the homeschool stuffing out of her by saying, "I have a surpriiiiise for you!"  And it wasn't sugar for her bowl of curds and whey.  It was a completely new possibility for what the new school year could look like, and it didn't involve too much of what was already firmly in place.  Talk about toppled tuffets!

There is a Christian classical homeschool enrichment center in our general geographic area that offers an excellent program of study and that is nearly impossible to join because the headmaster keeps the number of students small on purpose, and people just don't leave (unless they graduate or move).  Husband and I have been praying for three years that, if it was God's will, He would open the door for our 13 year-old daughter to attend, but the door has always stayed firmly shut.  Until three weeks ago.

The headmaster e-mailed us to say there was *one* opening for an 8th grader for the coming year and would we be interested?  Thud.  (That was the sound of Miss Muffet falling off her tuffet.)  We needed to let him know as soon as possible, so over the course of two days, we prayed, discussed, prayed, discussed, prayed, discussed -- are you sensing a pattern here?  In the end, we felt that it was the open door we had been waiting for and decided to enroll our daughter in the program.

One day a week, September through May, she will be on site at a beautiful campground facility for classroom instruction in integrated history/literature/composition, Latin, lab science, music, art, and physical education.  Included in the course of study is a winter theatre production and engagement in the art of speech and debate.  I am more thrilled than our daughter is (who rightly discerns that she's in for a lot of work, LOL) and wish their was a program like this for homeschooling mommies.

As a result, my best laid plans have been turned upside down, and I have been feverishly revamping what our new school year will actually look like now that I have to weave the center's program/curriculum and our at-home program/curriculum together.  But I'm getting there ~ stay tuned.

In the meantime, beware of Crinkum-Crankum -- it's out there.  bwaahaahaa

Hubby and I attended a wedding and reception today for one of the fellows who worked summers for him during his college years.  Now that the fellow has graduated, he has decided to marry his sweetheart of the last three years and move on to the next season of life.

The wedding was simple and sweet.  The reception was simple and sweet.  This was the kind of wedding and reception I hope for someday for our own two daughters ~ simple and sweet.  The bride was bubbly and pretty, and the groom was serious and handsome; they really do balance each other out and "fill in the gaps", as Rocky so elegantly phrased it.

I loved that the bride's father spoke during the wedding; his message moved my hubby to tears.  I loved that the reception tables had photos of the bride and groom at various ages of life on them.  I loved that the groom had put together a slide show of the two of them when they were babies, kids, in college, meeting each other, falling in love with each other, engaged.  The groom had interspersed snippets of the movie "Shenandoah" showing Jimmy Stewart giving advice about women to Doug McClure and showing Dough McClure asking Jimmy Stewart permission for his daughter's hand in marriage.  It was priceless.  And I loved that each guest was asked to write down a fond memory or bit of advice for the newlywed couple to peruse when the dust settles. 

We were seated at a table with four young men, ages 21-23, all in different stages of life:  one had just completed his first year of teaching in a Christian school; one was about to begin his first post-college job as a Youth Director; one was seeking his first post-college job and getting ready to be married in August; and one was ready to embark on his senior year of college.  I'm not sure how they all felt about being seated with a middle-aged couple, but hubby and I thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. 

After 31 years of marriage, it is always a special trip down memory lane for hubby and I when we attend a wedding and reception.  We are reminded of the love we had then that drew us together and the love that we have now that keeps us together.  Face it, marriage is full of both joys and struggles, ups and downs.  It is not for the faint of heart nor for the commitment-phobic.  It is for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.

I can't think of a better way to spend a Saturday than to witness another sweet and simple tying of the knot.