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I haven't blogged in a number of days, so thought I'd sit down and do just that this morning. My youngest is the only one up with me right now. My other girls are still in bed. It's 8:30...I've been up for an hour and a half though I still feel groggy. Ugh. I am soooo not a morning person!! lol!! Anywhoooo...on with my blog post I guess. This summer hasn't gone exactly as I had planned, as far as continuing with homeschooling. We've only gotten a little done. (sigh) Seems summer is definitely NOT a good time to doing any catching up. So many things have just gotten in the way...camp, the girls wanting to go to the pool (on the days that have been warm enough), their lil girlfriends (who public school and normally aren't home til late in the day during the year and are now home ALL day) wanting to play all day with them, my oldest mowing lawns, running hubby to work each day (while he's been on second shift) so I can have our vehicle if needed and various other interruptions to my plans. lol! I can't justify denying them their summer, but really wanted to make up for all the time we lost this past year with my lack of energy and seemingly constant need for sleep. I felt like a momma bear (hibernating) more than a regular homeschooling mom. Granted, I am much better off now but we lost a lot of time/school over the year. I actually have tossed around throughout this summer the idea of not continuing in my homeschooling of my girls. I really want to continue, but I truly feel so inadequate to the job. To make it worse, I feel 'alone' in this endeavor. Yes, I know many homeschoolers in the area, but none that I 'talk' to on a regular basis except for the occasional facebook update,etc. I love that I know they are there though (every lil bit helps)...but again...I feel quite alone. My hubby has pretty much left the homeschooling up to me...completely. There is no input, advice, etc. but he is 'on board' with me doing it. I ask for curriculum suggestions,etc and get 'Whatever you think is okay, hon" in response. I also, seemingly, alienated some fellow homeschool friends this year. I still see them, but they don't really talk to me anymore, except for the cordial 'hello/how are you'. I'm unsure as to what exactly I did/said to cause it so I am left to guess what it was. I'm guessing that it was possibly due to two posts on my blog here...one regarding 'church' and the other 'charter schools'. I had no idea how many of the homeschoolers I know are using public charter schools. It's their choice and I'm not condemning anyone for it...I merely stated my views (on my blog) that they are indeed public schools. Public charter schools work for some people, but they just didn't work for my family (yes, we tried a public charter school when first starting 'homeschooling' on our own!). I was told by an old friend (she homeschools too) that there are two things you cannot discuss with homeschool moms...1) parenting styles and ...2) homeschool curriculum choices. She said homeschool moms tend to get overly defensive about both and I have found that to be very true..especially this past year. I stuck my foot in my mouth (unintentionally) on several occasions(with different people) by stating that I dislike public charter schools (not knowing the person I was talking to was in fact using one!). Granted, I was talking about my own personal experience, but it didn't seem to matter. I was shunned afterwards. I have since learned to just shut my mouth about it altogether and let whoever it is talk and not state my opinion on it else lose another homeschool friend. The other possibility is a post about MY view/experiences on church. It was based solely on things I've experienced at churches. I guess some took offense. Oh well. (sigh) But all of this has played into my thoughts on if I should continue to homeschool or not. It's a hard journey to do on your own, with noone to really talk to..truly talk to, about it. I have one friend that homeschools that I am very close to, but she lives in FL and I have an aversion to telephones. I definitely have to get over that dislike/discomfort with phones I guess. (I'm sorry Christy!!! Love ya chica!!! ) Her and I talk regularly via email though, but it isn't the same is it? I wish she lived next door...that'd be awesome!! Hugs whenever we need it!! lol! There have been many days this past year I have cried over how bad I feel that I am messing up. All I can do is cry sometimes. It's my childrens' future and I think about it often. With all of it on me, it's a heavy burden and consumes my thoughts (and fears) often. Am I screwing it all up for them? There is noone near me to talk to that KNOWS me AND homeschools. Yes, I have acquaintances and people I see regularly that homeschool...but none truly know me as a person. I have tried, though I am not as extroverted as my twin sis. I have struck up conversations but have struck out and don't seem to fit in. I have kept trying though. At first I kept telling myself it was my own perception that I don't fit in. But it's been two years now and I still don't fit in anywhere. I am convinced I am going to have to make myself at peace with the way things are now. It will take time. It's times like these that I truly, truly wish my FL friend lived close by. She truly knows me and homeschools as well. I need an uplifting hug and know she does a lot of times as well. I have, after much thinking and considering over the summer (for my girls' situations/conditions) decided to continue homeschooling though. I know it's going to be hard (emotionally)...probably very hard, but it's the best route for my girls. Two of my girls wouldn't do very well in a public school setting at all due to learning difficulties, and all of them have Celiac Disease, which would make it VERY hard (if not impossible) meal-wise in a public school. So, we will continue along at snail-pace it seems, doing our school work. Obviously, I'm not going to catch up this summer...but we'll just keep continuing with our work til we start our next year's curriculum. I have also decided to continue going to our homeschool co-op, which offers my girls some friendships with other homeschool kids. A lot of things have changed with it, for the better, that will make it a better experience for all of us. I and the girls are looking forward to it. This morning, I got an email update from TOS like usual. I clicked on the link and I saw a WeE-book they offer. It's called "Why Does My Child Hate To Write?" This immediately caught my attention, since I have one that absolutely hates to write and I struggle with her daily in school. I pretty much chucked writing out the window this year, with her, since it is such a struggle for her. Nothing I do seems to help her and I was in desperate need of ideas. The We-Ebook was only $.99 so I thought I'd purchase it and read it. So, that's what I've done this morning...read through it. It wasn't long at all. It had some terrific ideas that I plan on trying with her. One of them...using a tape recorder, will have to wait til I have the cash to buy one. But it sounds like a great idea! The others require no special equipment, so I'll do those first. I like the idea of her 'telling' me what she wants to write and ME writing it for her. She can already write legibly and knows cursive as well. It just seems to truly be a struggle for her to write anything...even simply answering questions on paper. However, she can answer these same questions when I pose them to her verbally. This isn't good for keeping 'paperwork' proof of work, but at least I know she can answer the questions if asked. She is one of those children that presses very hard on her pencil and writes very slowly. She also struggles with thoughts on paper, in general. (all of these were addressed in the e-book) I have only given her a limited amount of written work this year..period. But you should hear some of the 'make believe' stuff she comes up while playing with her sisters! She's terrific at it! So, I will probably try the verbal story writing and write for her. She can also type...slowly, but accurately. She is improving with this endeavor and may be an asset to her 'writing'. I will try having her type out a story or something to see if that helps her. Like the WeE-book stated, she has a big sister that can do just about any kind of work put in front of her. This is quite intimidating to her, as I have seen her watch her sister with both longing and admiration on her face...probably wishing she could do the same. She usually ends in frustration and comparing herself to her sister. I have on purposely NEVER verbally compared the two to each other. She is unique and different from her sister and know that she doesn't learn the same. I don't want her thinking that I expect her to be the same when she may not be capable of the same because of those differences. That's okay with me too. Well, I've got laundry to finish so I'll stop here. I'll hop on here again soon, hopefully. Hope all yours' summer is going great!!
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Each of my girls are different in personality so why not with learning? lol! Comments
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