With all the talk going on about respecting our husbands, it has really make me step back and look at the way I treat my hubby.  

We have been through many rollercoasters and I have had to let go and forgive alot.  It is soooo easy to hold on to unforgiveness, but it does you no good.  Out of the mouth the heart speaks... isn't that just so true.  I know many people who cover up their hurt instead of letting that monster come to the surface so the Lord can kill it.  I know I did that for a looooong time.  I was so good at acting like a wonderful wife!  Then I would always give my husband the cold shoulder because he hurt me and he owed me!!!  He deserved "my cold shoulder".   I was a great wife...I keep the house clean, take care of the kid's, ect... ect...  It was ALL him not me... no never, never me!!  Then one day the Lord showed me, me.  It was very ugly.  I have learned that I will never be able to change anybody.  That is the Lord's job.  I can pray and give unconditional love.  I have learned that my joy comes from the Lord and nobody else.   If only we could all get that.  Joy comes from the Lord. Not from having a good day.  Not for having good finances... ect.. ect..  Joy only comes from the Lord.  It is amazing, the change the Lord has done in me.  Only the Lord could change me... not anything or anyone else.  He is still changing me.  He has also done a major work in my husband, which is truly a miracle.  I rejoice in every trial he has brought our way.  I can see all the "stuff" he wanted to purge.  He is a good God and he wants to see His children healed.  He wants us to be joyful and have an intimate relationship with Him.  Sit at his feet and soak up his living word. 

So, I can say that with the help of the Holy Spirit, I choose Love, Peace and Joy over grumbling and complaining.  I never expect ANYTHING from my husband.  Anything I receive is simply a gift from the Lord.  I know this may sound extreme to some, but if you expect something from your husband and do not receive it, then it will let you down.  I love my hubby, no matter what.  I want him to come home to a clean and peaceful enviroment.  I use to have to have him tell me how well of a job I did.....(expecting something)  If he did not go on and on about how great I was, then I would just pull out the ole "cold shoulder" routine.  Poor guy...he he.  I WANT to do it now... I do not need any approval from him.   Now he comes home and always asks me if I need help with anything.... wow.  He is such a big helper.  He always wants to help me do things.  I am truly blessed.    He always asks if I need to go run an errand or just get out for a few hours too...  Funny thing is, I usually say no,  I just want to be here with you and the kid's.  I do go away for a weekend once a year...usually to a conference ect... which I am truly grateful for.  If I "expected" any of these things...I know I would get upset if my husband did not meet my "expectations"...  But when I quit "expecting" anything from him....everything became a blessing.  I hope this all made sense:)  sometimes I have a hard time expressing myself. 

I also want to thank TaminAZ, Brenda (his willing vessel), and many others out there who take the time to share what the Lord has taught them and pass it on to others.  I am always learning...I hope I never stop learning.  I always want to going from "glory to glory".... becoming closer and closer to my Lord Jesus:) 

Blessing to you all,

Jennifer

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Posted by DandelionSeeds

AMEN! I just talked about this in my most recent SHMILY post (#14). Thanks for sharing... You were also the inspiration for my most recent post as well... Praying for you.

Amy

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Posted by teena6

Jennifer, you words ring in my ears. Thank you for sharing. It is so very important to be a helpmeet to our husbands.... it is what God created us for. I want you to know I am thinking of you and praying for you as your heart is heavy. I have never lost a baby but I can imagine your pain..... and your dh's and children. HUGS~
blessings,
Teena

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Posted by 4beachbabies

I will give you a big Amen!! I say the same thing about expectations, once I let them go and stopped being my husband Holy Spirit. I saw God do wonders in his life. But first a major overhaulin in mine! It was an awesome thing and I am still thankful for those times when I just had to lean on my Savior.
I also wanted to send a big hug! I have had 2 miscarriages and know how hard they are for the whole family but especially on mom. My prayers are with you.
Many Blessings,
Andrea

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Posted by iluvtheland

Dh and I have been having a very hard time these past couple weeks. Mostly, I think, due to the stress both of us are under after he didn't get the job we thought for sure he would get. Then the added stress of finances still needing taken care of without this wonderful job we just *knew* he was going to get :-( Talk about stress....
I realized when reading your post that I have been really BAD these weeks, expecting my dh to be and do more than should be expected in normal times, let alone in times of such stress and disappointment. All the while, I was thinking how bad DH was. How rotten is that? I hate it that I have been this way!!! And I thank you for making me see it. I didn't realize how truly ugly I have been until now.
I am going to wake up tomorrow and try to remember to expect nothing, and to accept each thing that does come my way as a gift from God.
Also, please know that you are in my prayers. I understand how hard losing a baby is at any point along the way. May God give you comfort, and your dh and dc as well.
Kathy

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Posted by Happyhome

I heard someone say that not too long ago and it really got me thinking. I would get frustrated if my dh didn't help with this or that. I realized that he is not MY helpmate, I am created to be his! I am trying (with the Lord's help) to retrain my "stinkin' thinkin'" towards my wonderful husband. I do what I do "as unto the Lord", not unto men. Therein lies my joy. If dh helps (which he so often does), then great. If not, that's OK.

Thanks for sharing what the Lord is teaching you!

Blessings,

Angela

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Posted by RainyDayMichele

So TRUE!! What a treasure we have in our darling husbands!

I am so sorry about your miscarriage. :( Please know there are many praying for you and your family as you grieve for your little one.

Enjoyed reading your blog this morning.

Michele

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Posted by drewsfamilytx

Believe it or not, my strange toe-crossing counting to 8 friend, I DO understand exactly what you're saying! Kinda like on the Sunday's that dh works I have absolutely no problem getting out the door with the kids ready ON TIME. However, it is only on the days that he is home that I "expect" him to do a few things to move things along...and then we're late and I'm irritated. Surely it wouldn't kill me to do things like I always do and just let dh relax and leisurely get ready for church!

I'm a very blessed wifey as well. Dh is always trying (and succeeding) in making me happy. We established a very long time ago that HE is not a mind-reader (and neither am I) so if I have any expectations of him I have to spell it out very clearly and not just assume he should "know."

Love,
Marsha

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Posted by Anonymous

I love this, and just wrote about something similar in my blog a couple days ago. The Lord must want *all* of us to work on this, this year!
I'm also very sorry for your loss. There are just no words for how hard this is. Praying God is so close to you as you all walk through this season.
Love, Misty

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Posted by HisWillingVessel

I am sorry about your miscarriage. I truly know how you feel for I myself have lost 7 children. It is hard to lose a child even when we know it is the Lords will. I know your arms ache but someday they will be holding another new baby!

Thank you also for sharing your praises and for reaffirming that sleeping in only causes more anguish. We never truly gain anything by doing so. You are so sweet and I appreciate all your kind words about my posts.

I pray you have a great day dear sister and I know you will do great with getting up! You can do it! Once again I am sooooooo sorry for your loss for I know how much your arms and heart ache for my last loss was as recent as this past Aug. So my heartache is still fresh too. You are in my prayers dear one!
Blessings
Brenda

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Posted by abidinglove

Thanks for sharing - I really liked what you had to say about never expecting anything from your dh, but accepting whatever comes as a gift from the Lord - that was a really good thought!

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Posted by jmaecarlson

I was blessed and encouraged by your post. Thank you.

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Posted by LittleEblingsAcademy

I am just wondering how you are doing... You haven't been around.

Blessings! ~Beckie

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