Today we sang Jingle bells, Then read Luke 1 Mary's song and the birth of John the Baptist. All the readings on the births of John and of Jesus makes me think of the birth of my children and grandchildren. We have 3 beautiful grandchildren so far. They belong to our oldest daughter Jolene. Her first born Alicia, now 8, was a true test of faith.

My daughter's pregnancy with Alicia was not a pleasant one. She suffered much thru out her pregnancy. Due to ovarian cysts. Then when birth was emminent, labor was extremely hard. We have learned tho with the birth of all 3 of her children, that when Jolene asks for relief from the pain, the dr better get there quick cause it means baby is coming with or without dr. LOL.

When Jolene was given the ok to go ahead and push with Alicia on the first push, Alicia went into shock. They lost her heart beat. The nurses flipped Jolene every which way, apllied oxygen, and called code blue. As we all waited to hear the beating of the heart I stood by my daughter praying please God not now, not at this point. Please don't take this child now. They called for an emergency C section, I still continued to pray not now. I got into my greens to go into the operating room. As we waited for all the prep and for Jolene to be transferred to surgery I heard it! One little beep. I looked up all movement had stopped in the room. It seemed like an eternity, then another beep. Slowly the babies heart beat  came back. I looked at the clock, it had been 5 minutes. Jolene had no clue what was happening. She had no clue that babies heart beat wasn't being registered. She had no clue how close she came to not having her precious daughter.

I have been blessed to be present at the birth of all 3 of my grandchildren. But as I remember these births and the births of my own children, I also think of the birth of many from the Bible, but especially the birth of Jesus. There Mary was, with only Joseph by her side. No doctors, no nurses. No equipement to tell her if baby was ok or not. No meds to take the edge off of the pain. And no hospital. No comfortable bed, if you can call those hospital beds comfortable. lol. And still she delivered that precious baby. She trusted God. She trusted all would be well.  I have to admit, I was not at all sure all would be well with my oldest grandchild. But it was. My faith and trust in God waivered in those 5 minutes of silence.

Birth is the most amazing thing. From creation to delivery it shows all of God's handiwork and it is a handiwork that only God can perform. Yes sometimes things go wrong, I myself have 3 precious babies in heaven. But it is only wrong in our eyes. We see it as wrong out of grief and pain of the loss. But all of it is in God's plan for us. There are reasons we are given these children only to have them taken back from us. We may never understand why. But we have to trust that it is for the good of the whole picture.

Mary was blessed with her child but even she in the end felt the pain of having her child taken from her. Even tho Jesus was much older than losing a child to miscarriage or sids, or any other early cause, she still felt the pain and sorrow the rest of us have felt.

I know this entry seems a bit dark for Christmas time. But I know there are many out there that are hurting due to this issue at this time of year. They are feeling the loss and pain, only faith and time can heal those wounds. I want you all to remember, those blessings that were taken back from you will be in heaven waiting for you. Standing right there with Jesus. I pray that God touches you and lifts your sorrow quickly. Gives you comfort as you have never known before. And I pray that you know you are not alone.

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