• Sep. 3, 2008
There's a thunder storm outside, and it's raining.
It's ten o'clock at night, but I can't fall asleep.
There's a thunder storm outside, and it's raining.
I guess it's a good time for another entry.
I'm pretty much used to life in the US now. So much stuff is going on, I can't help it. I'm not in India-zone when I can't do anything without thinking of India and feeling like I'm still there. But I lost a bunch of desires, interests, and wants that I used to have. I don't see the point in anything anymore, basically. ^_^ Like in Ecclesiastes, "Vanity, vanity, everything is vanity!" haha
Like to my little brother, "What do you mean you won't eat the crust of your bread?!"
It's hard for me to throw out anything, yet sometimes I don't want anything that I have.
Sometimes I feel like I'm hedged on so many sides that I can't move.
I'm turning sixteen this month, but I can't even imagine getting together with my friends and hanging out. They aren't interesting to me anymore. I don't want to spend time with them. I'll have a little party with my family.
I got back from a country where the people worship cows and drink the waste. I got back from a country where everything is spiritual, where rats, monkeys, trees, and everything is worshiped...where Satan is their god. The man held his hand over his head for so long that he can't move it any more. The little boy with the bloated belly and bugged eyes is covered with silver powder. The man on the sidewalk twisted himself into a human knot.
"How was your trip? I bet it was hot!"
"Hot? Yeah. It was hot... In India."
"Was it dirty?"
"Sure."
"Well, while you were gone this summer I went to the movies, and hung out with my friends, and went to the beach, and slept in....and... You sure missed out on a lot while you were gone!"
Yeah.
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• Aug. 16, 2008
There and Back Again
Well, here I am.
There and back again, but not completely back....
India has always been my passion, and now that I have been there, it has only become so much more.
I miss everything about India, even the things that can not be missed. I miss the streets covered in trash, and the swarms of people everywhere, dressed in beautiful clothes of the most glories colors. I miss the smells---incense, sewer, flowers, rot, gasoline, honey, smoke, spice----overpowering smells that mingle and rise up to fill your nose. There were rich people dressed in expensive clothes and jewels, walking unseeing by the little boy with no arms, by the mother dressed in rags with the crying baby, by the old skeleton of a man with his threadbare shawl drawn over his bony shoulders. (They can't stop and help---it will ruin the person's karma. The poor were born into their cast, and the rich can't stoop to their level.) Everything is richly decorated and drowned in color. The food is rich and spicy. There is so much to see, and smell, and hear, and taste..... everything is so overwhelming. India is such an overwhelming place. And when you think you can't take any more, more rises up to greet you, and you have to take it all in.
Everywhere are gods and godesses and shrines, and temples. They worship snakes, elephants, cows, monkeys, trees, the moon, the sun, everything they worship. Cows wonder into the road, and you can't hit them or drive them away because they are considered gods and can go where they want. They take the dung, mold it into temples, and worship it. They drink the urine and smear it up through their hair. Monkeys gather in the market place and take what they like from the people's food stalls because they, too, can do what they want.
The people devote themselves to their gods---sacrificing, killing, hurting themselves-----they throw themselves at satan's feet and ask him to fill their lives. But he doesn't need any bidding. The demons torture them.
It's a land of such darkness. And the Christians there, they are persecuted by the Hindus, killed, looked down upon, and disowned by their families. Their faith is amazing. They see the false gods that everyone around them worships, and they hold on to Jesus even as everyone ridicules them. They know the Truth, the truth has set them free, but satan, who hates the Truth and rules the people, wars against the Christian.
It's an incredible country. I can't really describe it, the way it means to me. The US is......SO different from India. It is really hard to be here right now, but it's where God has called me to be, and He will help me through here as He did in India. Thank you everyone who prayed for me. Please keep India in your prayers.
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• Jun. 10, 2008
India
As you can probably tell, I stopped blogging for a while, without warning, which I apologize for. I plan to start up blogging again in the fall. Next week I will be leaving for India, and I will be gone for the summer. (And there is no electricity where I'm going, so no internet.) Going to India has been my dream since I was ten years old, and now God has actually provided a way for me to see this land which I have longed for for so long.
It's hard for me to believe, even now. I am so excited to see what God is going to do. I know I'm going to change because of this trip, and that makes me excited.... and maybe a little scared.
ALSO, my mom is due to have her baby, number seven, around the time when I leave. If she goes early, I'll be able to see my new sister, if not, I have to wait a whole summer. So anyway, if you think of it, you could pray for me and my family around this time.
Thank you,
-MoonChild
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• Apr. 8, 2008
Tags
1.favorite color- pine-green and silver
2.least favorite color- pink and yellow, probably, except in sunsets. ^_^
3.favorite actress- Pft. Don't know and don't care.
4.Favorite actor- Same ^
5. number of pets- 3 : Down to 11. Except for all the chickens we are ordering, but they aren't "pets." They're food, I think.
6. color of dream color- Eeehhh.... dream color? Green and silver?
7.color that you don't want your mom to to die her hair- Haha. I don't want her to die her hair any color. Um. Blond. Yeah. Or anything unnatural. Green might look cool, but.... jk.
8.favorite subjects- reading, world history, and maybe writing, but not so much as a school subject. Yuck.
9.color of best friend's brother's eyes- Brown.
10.color of dream pet zebra- purple and gold. =P
11.color of phone/ipod- black
12.last thing you saw in a mall- I don't remember. Hate malls. Have shopping.
13. favorite ice cream flavor- Anything REALLY chocolate-ish with with toppings.
~~~
5 strange and interesting things about you.
1--- I wear knee-high moccasins.
2--- I carry a knife almost wherever I go.
3--- I wrote a novel. xD
4--- I love archery and knife-throwing
5--- I'm the oldest of seven (soon to be eight)
I tag whoever feels like being tagged.
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• Apr. 1, 2008
New blog
So! I actually decided to make a blog and post my novel on it. o_o I know, I'm insane. I'm not the best writer but I decided to give blogging my novel a try. It's not edited, really, and I haven't let anyone read it yet, except one of my friends. So I don't know how it is. You can tell me what you think, and I won't be offended if you say it sucks. xD I would appreciate any help on improving, if you'd like.
Here it is-- AvowersCry
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• Mar. 29, 2008
Shooting
It's Saturday night and I'm forcing myself to post so that this thing won't go extinct. Not that I exactly care anymore.
Grandpa's gonna teach me how to shot. When I'm old enough, I'm gonna get my license. This fall I might be able to go hunting. He showed me my gun today. It's wicked nice. I can't wait.
On easter we had guests over after church, and at the point of time when my hospitality was wavering, I told mom that I was going for a walk and slipped off. I was probably only a half a mile or so away from the house when I took to a trail in the woods. Well, I was walking along when I saw, in the distance, two guys coming toward me. They saw me at the same time I saw them. I took off before they could get any closer, and walked through a different part of the forest that day.
Later after I got home, I mentioned seeing two men in the woods to mom, and added quickly, before she could reply, "Andthat'swhyIneedagun,yousee." (I had bothered her before that day about wanting to shoot.)
She said she didn't see. But grandpa was close by, and I saw his face, and it was obvious he heard.
And so now I get to learn how to shoot.
*grins*
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• Mar. 7, 2008
Light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.--John 3:19
It's time for an entry, only I don't know what to write about. *sulks*
Today was co-op, and it was pretty boring.
Last night was teen class. A 17-year-old wrestler put me in a head-lock, and I floored him before he knew what had happened. He didn't know martial arts, obviously.
SO, I was sort of thinking about starting a new blog and posting my novel on it bit by bit. I don't know if I will, though. I mean, I haven't let anyone read it yet and I don't know how good it is. (And I don't know who would read it anyway.) I decided to be brave and put up an exert, though. ^_^ The story is basically a fantasy about this teen boy who lives in a place where the people worship wolves, and they communicate with them telekinetically. He ends up finding out about and giving himself to Elloe (my character for Jesus), but then this family tried to kill him. It's about what happens to him and his relationship with Elloe. The verse in my title has a lot to do with the theme of the book. My novel is 65,238 words long thus far. Here's a piece.
A shadowy form slipped out of the tent as the youth came wading out of the darkness. Brak walked right past his wolf without glancing up. Inside the tent, he threw himself face-down on his bear skin in the corner. He could feel his wolf coming into the tent and standing over him. It was his sensors that told him that, that caused him to know where his wolf was and what he was doing without opening his eyes…the same sensors that he had been given at his eleventh summer when he had become part of the Pack.
The wolf had sensors, too, and they were stronger and reached farther than the boy’s. Sitting on his hunches with ears tilted forward, Nakow drilled his human with his eyes and began reaching into his mind…
Brak outwardly flinched and inwardly withdrew at the icy feeling of Nakow’s claws groping into his mind. He resented the wolf drawing in on him. He did not want to go to that place deep within himself. This was one of those rare times when he wished to be left alone. But Nakow was stronger then him. And Nakow was angry. Brak knew, had known all along when he had talked to the Allumin captive, that his wolf would be angry. He did not want to let Nakow dig through his thoughts and explore his feelings. But let him in he must. He had no choice. He belonged to the wolf. Nakow was already sinking deeper, tarring down walls as he went into Brak. Brak pressed his head deeper into his bear skin’s fur as if to block out the ugly feeling of claws that he could not control. Nakow was forcing himself into Brak, and it wasn’t in the comforting way that he had done before. The wolf was mad.
Brak clenched his teeth against a whimper as pain seared his mind. His hands reached into the fur and squeezed just as that claw was wrapping around his brain and squeezing. “Don’t make me blackout,” he pleaded.
Nakow was standing with his face lowered towards Brak. His eyes were closed and he pressed his wet black nose into Brak’s brown hair. He did not physically touch Brak. He mentally abused him. “You let me down,” he whispered into Brak’s mind.
“I’m sorry,” Brak gasped, trying to fight the palpable blackness that was closing around him and dragging him deep down into the pit of darkness. Nakow was the darkness and the shadows, and he was no longer comforting. He was a dangerous creature with a gaping mouth and razor teeth, and Brak was falling down the abyss of his throat.
“Sorry won’t help you. You shouldn’t have talked so long. You should have cut his bonds and been done with it.
”He-didn’t-want-them-cut…” Brak’s voice cut out. His head rolled back as the pain began to grow sharper.
“You shouldn’t have talked! You shouldn’t have stayed so long and been so opened-minded! All he tells you is lies. The Allumin are the children of lies. And you let him lie to you!”
“…please…”
“You fail over and over again. When will you learn? When will you become strong like your father? Will you always be such a cub? Will I always have to drag you about and teach you? Hurt you? Make you learn?”
“Don’t…hurt…me…”
“You are a danger to yourself, Brak. If you don’t watch yourself, you will be chasing after lies. When will you learn?”
“I will learn…”
“When will you learn?”
“I will…learn…”
The darkness began to envelop Brak and he was slipping into it. He was spinning away in a rushing river and he had no solidness that he could grab onto. Nakow’s thoughts followed him into darkness. “When will you learn?”
“I will learn,” Brak tried to say, but darkness had already overwhelmed him.
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• Feb. 27, 2008
Another sleepy Sunday, safe within the walls/ Outside a dying world in desperation calls/ But no-one hears the cries, or knows what they're about/ The doors are locked within, or is it from, without...
It's not Sunday and I haven't lost my mind... quite...yet. But I like the title anyway. It's a song by Jars of Clay.
My dad left for Africa a few days ago, and I just talked to him on the phone. He's in Malawi training pastors and making sure everything is running smoothly at the feeding center and stuff like that. He'll be back in around ten days. There was some flooding in the areas where he is, and a lot of people are suffering from it since their homes and crops have all gone away. He wants to witness it first hand to see what can be done. Imagine holding the hands of naked children with bloated bellies and bugged eyes, and wondering what to do?
Oh yeah. And I finally finished the novel that I have been working on. I started it in November. It's 100 Microsoft word pages long, and 64,516 words. Now I'm re-reading it. I'm really bad at editing (and I can't really edit my own work well, anyway) but I'm going over it again and.... well, changing as many obvious mistakes as I can. Reading it over, it's pretty cheesy. But I guess what really matters is that I finished it. I've never written such a large work before. I rarely finish any of my writings.
ALSO, I wrote my India prayer letter last week. I wrote it in ten minutes or less because I was stressed over it and I tend to write fast, and dad and mom both said it was wonderful and to not change it. So I didn't. But it's awful. It really is. I hate to pity myself, but I do now, whenever I think of the people reading what I wrote. Holycrow, I just about bared my soul in this thing. Several people would resort to blackmail, I think, if they were the only ones who had this information. But they don't, and that's the problem. Everyone has it!! *slouches in chair* I'm doomed.
But I'll put it up here because I am seeking sympathy. No, I'm actually posting it because this is a blog and I'm supposed to put things like this up... I think. Anyway, I'm so stressed out I can't even read it again.
The only thing I changed on the letter before sending it out is the last word. Dad said I had to change that and finish the sentence properly. Snap.
This summer, God has provided the opportunity for me to go to
Mwaha.
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• Feb. 21, 2008
They shall fear You as long as the sun and moon endure, thoughout all generations -- Psalm 72:5
Mum went to have an ultrasound yesterday. She wasn't planning on it, but dad decided to find out what the baby was, and so did she.
"It's" a girl.
Everyone thought it would be a boy, so it was a bit of a shock. Mom wanted it to be a boy because I only have two brothers, and this will be my fourth sister. That's two boys and five girls in my family. And this is (so she claims) the "Last. One."
(She has claimed this for the last four kids or so, mind you.)
Anyways, it's a girl. And everyone's really excited, of course. Though, as soon as my three-year-old brother found out, his lower lip started trembling. He lowered his head and his shoulders sank. And he ran into Mom's arms, trying not to cry. He wanted a little brother, the poor kid. ^_^
Mom's all talking about dressing up the baby in pink and what it will be like having five girls, and all that stuff. I'm starting to be very glad that I'm the oldest and that I was spared most of that stuff. *shivers*
Anyways. So that's really cool. The baby is due the beginning of July. And I'm leaving the end of June for Teen Missions in Florida, and then on to India from there. I will be back August 15th. Which means I don't get to see the baby until then.
Last night there was a Lunar Eclipse. I got to see a part of it on the way home from martial arts. We did some punches, and after the punches my knuckles were all bloody. But that's the only interesting thing that happened there.
I don't think I have ever seen the moon so bright and the sky so dark at the same time. It was really amazing. The bare branches of the trees looked so dark and groping against the moon. It was beautiful.
Isn't God such a fascinating God? Who could have ever created something so glories?
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• Feb. 17, 2008
So let me lay down in this field/And stare up at the sky/I hope the days and clouds/Turn into something/As they pass us by
Title's a song by Jars of Clay.
I really don't have much to write about. My little sister---or, one of them---- turned six today. We had a little family party, had pizza, made ice cream sundays with all sorts of toppings, and now they are watching a rented movie in the other room. I'm not. I'm on the computer.
Nothing much else to say. >_< Mleah. School is tomorrow! Of course. It's really depressing, though. I mean, it seems like it should still be Saturday! *mopes* I hate the repetition of school. Aaaurrg! *paces* I want to go sailing on a pirate ship or crash myself on a deserted island or get kidnapped and save myself or...or something dangerous. =P
I at least need something adreneline-pumping to do. Maybe I should go drowned myself in a good book. I want to write some sort of short story, but the part of my brain that brain storms story ideas is dead. As is the part that does school. The difference being, that I have to beat the school part of my brain back to life every school-day morning.
Saved for the moment by... a tag! Thanks to writer4him =D
6 of your favorite things:
1. Martial Arts
2. Painting/drawing
3. Writing
4. Creating characters
5. Weapons ( xD )
6. Books
5 of your favorite historical people(only REAL people)
1. Jesus (err...not just a person...)
2. Jeremiah (The Prophet)
3. John the Baptist
4. Amy Carmicheal
5. William Carey
4 of your favorite places in the world:
1. India
2. Forests
3. Mountain tops
4. Exotic mysterious places
3 of your best friends:
Err.... Jesus. And Jesus. And Jesus. xD
2 of your favorite names(1 girl, 1 boy)
Boy: Arrow
Girl: Bravery
1 favorite flavor of ice cream:
1. It's called Death-By-Chocolate. Or something like that.
Tag three people who have the first letter of your last answer in their username:
1. One
2. Two
3. Three
xD Who ever wants to do it can.
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• Feb. 8, 2008
And moveless fish in the water gleam, By silver reeds in a silver stream
That's a part of a poem by Walter De La Mare, titled Silver.
And it's totally random and has absolutely nothing to do with this post.
I have pink eye. I got it yesterday. I woke up with a red (or, rather, pink) eye. Today I went to the doctor and got eye drops. I hate going to the doctor. Each time I go, they end up saying that I can't attend martial arts because of whatever problem I have. (Or so it seems.) So when the doc said I couldn't be around people within twenty four hours of taking the drops, it automatically canceled out tomorrow's martial arts test! However, when the doctor heard that it was only my dad and I testing and there was no other kids around me, she said it would probably be okay.
Gah. I nearly threw a fit there for a minute. >_<
The eye drops are evil. I don't understand not blinking. I can manage to keep my eye open until the drop is applied, but then I close my eyes, and the eye drop dribbles down my face as if it didn't go in.
Tonight my dad and I reviewed all the requirements for the belt test. I'm excited. ^_^ After the test tomorrow, my grandpa is going to be clearing some wood up in the field in the forest behind our house. He called and asked if I could help him. I love working like that. So yeah.
Um. And that's all that I have to say.
-MoonChild
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• Jan. 19, 2008
A Very Sad Attempt At An Introduction.
I have been told that I need to learn to talk about myself more. No more dodging questions or planned one-sided conversations.
Thus the blog. ^_^
I will probably be posting a lot of short stories. I have lots of stories, but they tend to sadly lack endings.... I am sort of hoping that this blog will force me to finish some up.
But a bit about myself: I'm 15 years old. I am weird in ways that you will hopefully never know. I am called to be a missionary. (I go to India this summer on a mission trip, which I am very beyond excited for.) I do martial arts, throw knives, wear moccasins, live in the woods, and I'm just all-around weird.
And there is all you need to know about me for the present. Except that I have a poor history in blogging and may not continue this long. ^_^
-MoonChild
