• Jul. 28, 2009
I Will Not Give In To Fear
Soldier video
This video says it all and really makes you think. I know there are some things I will not look at or think about the same way after watching this. It helped put things in perspective getting a tiny glimpse of things how a soldier see's and experiences them.
A little info. Last weekend my youngest ds had weekend drill. He called home Saturday evening to tell us he had been put on a quick ship for AIT which means he could leave for Ft Leonardwood in a few days, a week or a month. First opening and a plane ticket to open up and he will ship.
Then afterward most likely will recieve training and deploy to Afghanistan. I have been feeling a bit uneasy lately about this, but was chalking it up to mama concern. When he was probably going to go to Iraq before this thing with Afghanistan started I didn't have this feeling of concern like I do now.
Tonight he confided to me that he wants to go, but he has a feeling he will return in a box. 
Knowing what I've been feeling that was not something I wanted to hear. I mean what do you say when your ds says something like that, because he very well could come home in a box. I did tell him of my concern and that maybe it will be a while yet before he has to actually face going and yet I understand how he wants to go.
I've been very teary for the last few days and of course my mind has wandered and I've thought of what life would be like without him around and I have to not let myself think about it.
Is this what it's like for other mother's of ds's in the military when you know it's most likely only a short time before they will train for deployment?
I'm not sure how best to pray, how best to cover him in prayer because this is a new area for us. I was hoping we would get to share one more birthday, one more Thanks Giving, one more Christmas before he shipped overseas, but it's looking more and more likely that won't be happening.
I am so proud of him for serving his country and I will not give in to fear, but it's sure trying to gnaw at the door. Oh how I covet your prayers for peace and comfort as he stands at the threshhold of this new experience.
Here is what another hs mother shared that her father told her about when he was a young man going off to war.
Debbie, my dad has in the past year or so begun talking about his war experiences. He was in WWII. My dad is a big man and has always been strong and stoic. He confided in us that he fairly had to drag himself up the walkway to the ship, he was so terrified. And he came back safe and sound. I tell you this to remind you that fear, dread, even foreboding do not determine our lives. Only God has that job. Praying for you, sweetie.
My ds was just talking to me before I posted and told me that everything is becoming so real to him now. Suddenly everything isn't in the far distant future. I thought to myself uh huh, I've been thinking the same thing lately.
He told me this right after he had showed me the above video. I watched it and couldn't even talk for awhile I was so choked up.
Another hs mother by sharing what her father told her about deploying all those years ago and reminding me that fear, dread and foreboding do not determine our lives touched my heart deeply.
It's been so easy to brag about my soldier ds up to this point. Up to now there really wasn't that urgency or close sense of danger on the horizon. That was a distant thing. Thank God her father faced his fears and didn't give in to terror as a young man. I am thankful to him for serving his country and although I'm sure he didn't want to die and would rather not have had to go, was overjoyed to return safe and sound. He put his life on the line, even for future generations that at the time weren't even born yet.
I've asked her to let her father please know how grateful I am that he had a sense of duty, he served and also that he gave a glimpse into what it was like for him leaving. I hope and pray my ds returns safe and sound and one day his experience and words can be shared and help comfort another mama's heart.
To those soldiers serving their country now I salute you and pray that you return home to kiss the ground once you return. More than that I pray you return home safe and sound to your loved ones. I am deeply grateful to those who choose to serve.
Comments
• Jul. 29, 2009
Untitled Comment
Posted by Allie from fiar
After reading this....I'm crying right along with you Debbie. Praying your dear Levi returns safely.
I am trusting God will keep Him safe under the shadow of His wings, in the secret place of our Most High God.
That youtube was really really moving. God bless your family as your son goes for training to be deployed soon. Will continue to keep him in our prayers. What a brave and honorable young man you've raised. He is amazing and you have every reason to be proud.
