Motherhen's Nest - In A Grand Funk Today

• Aug. 3, 2009
In A Grand Funk Today

Am I the only one who has days like this. Days when I feel in a bad mood and grumpy. Days when I feel invisible and undervalued. Days when I end up feeling sorry for myself for a blitz of a second and have a good old pity party. Have I just become a load of washed laundry, or where the clean underwear are or the provider of hot food on the table?

Am I just the one in the house who cleans the toilets and makes sure our home is clean and half way picked up? The one who works hard to make our home cozy and nice and so I paint and fix up and rearrange and redo, repurpose and repair.

Is it just taken for granted that there will be clean dishes in the cupboards and the keys someone left lying on the table or in the lock in the front door will be placed where they need to be. The tossed on the chair jacket, book or wallet will be put on someones dresser or hung up.

When an appointment needs to be made or insurance rates checked or someone needs some hand holding for something they are going through and I'm there do I have a face? Do they see me. Sometimes I feel like all they see are my faults and failures and not my heart. Sometimes I wonder if they even recognize my heart.

I'm feeling a lot melancholy today and taken for granted. Tomorrow is my birthday and I know my dh doesn't remember. You know what I'd like? What would be nice is someone in this family to make me a b-day cake for once. It has been so many years since I had a b-day cake I don't even remember when I had one last.

Well thank you all for coming to my pity party. Party's over.

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