It has been a year since I started this blog.  I've obsessed over it at times - wanting it to look cute and fancy - but that passes.  What I enjoy most is the connection - and that connection has been what drew me to the hobby in the first place.  I have a few friends - I enjoy making quick comments to those I visit and love to see these quick comments on my blog as well.  I have fleeting thoughts that I should be a more frequent visitor to blogs but - those guilt riden thoughts pass quickly as well.  I should have more guilt about not having a meal prepared for my husband at the end of the day.

I have a handfull of irritations nipping at my heals this week - and honestly, every week.  But - no need to whine about them.  Why bore you - you've got your own troubles nipping at your heals.  So, I'm sitting here trying to think of something interesting to write. 

I don't think this is interesting  - but here are the facts:

• Here in the mountains of No. Cal. the smoke is thick and expected to continue for two months - so much for clear blue summer skies.  But, my God is still Good!
• My 16th Wedding anniversary is this weekend.  This marriage and man saved my life from perpetual (un-necessary) drama.  We have an alone weekend planned - and my God is definitely Good!
• We will be starting our 8th year of homeschooling next week and I am even more excited that I was the first year - althought a bit tired already.  And still - my God is good.
• I have couples in my family falling apart - I pray, I counsel and still - heartbreak continues.  I must have faith - and know that my God is good.
• My estranged father has been diagnosed with Parkinson's disease and I have no idea if we will reconcile - ever.  But my God is good - He gave me a man that will never leave me or my children. 
• Our company is facing lay-offs in the next couple of months, forcing us to upset more than one family, but again - God is good. 
• Close family members suffer from serious disease.  We pray for healing and doctor's wisdom - and tell them - God is good.

Despite all the heartache that surrounds us - I feel the goodness of God.  I see times He has protected me and the times He has allowed suffering in my life.  I am not called to question His timing or purpose - but simply to be obedient to the task He has laid before me.  I love the command for obedience because it is so simple.  I understand it well because it is what I ask of my children.  "Just do it"  - Nike didn't get it completely right.  It should be "Just do it, now, with a humble and happy spirit."  Sadly - sometimes I only accomplish the "do it" part and am a little slow in reacting and certainly lack the happy spirit.  But I'm working on it.  I was reading today about Saul.  I shook my head at him and then looked in the mirror and shook my head at myself.  90% obedience is just not good enough.  As always in these moments - I'm so thankful for what Jesus did for me.  I have been spending some time thinking about the areas of disobedience in my life.  Still working on that too...

It is that time of year - where much of us go quiet on the blogger front - including me.  We are enjoying family visits and getting ready for the County Fair.  We start back to school in just two weeks - as we are taking the leap to year round school.  I think we are all looking forward to it.

I spent much of our brief break preparing my curriculum.  I also wrote our Philosophy of Education.  Here is what I came up with.  I believe it was important for me this year to determine exactly what our purpose is before I could choose curriculum etc.

Rainbow Academy Philosophy of Education

RED:  A CHILD’S HEART.  We believe it the parent’s responsibility to shape a child’s heart.  We take literally, Proverbs 22:6 which advises us to “train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it”.   Further, we believe in the literal application of Deuteronomy 6:5-7 which tells us to “love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your strength.  And these commandments (the 10 Commandments) that I give to you today are to be upon your hearts, impress them on your children.  Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road and when you lie down and when you get up. “

ORANGE:  A CHILD’S ASSOCIATIONS.   We believe whom a child associates with matters – especially in the formative years of youth.  2 Corinthians 6:14 instructs us to “not be yoked together with unbelievers.  For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common?  Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”    Also, “He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.”  Proverbs 13:20

YELLOW:  A CHILD’S JOY.  Education should not be joyless.  A love of learning is essential to a lifetime of learning.  “Fathers do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”   Ephesians 6:4. 

GREEN:  SOURCE OF ALL WISDOM AND KNOWLEDGE.  As a Christian family and school, we believe that all subjects, issues, and topics should be evaluated and tested according to scripture.  “All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.”  2 Timothy 3:16-17

BLUE:  CHARACTER IS WHAT MATTERS MOST.  Anyone can be well-educated – but what we do with that education is based on our character.  Each child has his own path via formal education, vocational training or entrepreneurial pursuits.  All are acceptable to God if done with honor and right character.   “But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver but also of wood and clay, some for honor and some for dishonor.  Therefore if anyone cleanses himself from the latter he will be a vessel for honor, sanctified and useful for the Master, prepared for every good work.” 2 Timothy 2:20-21

PURPLE:  CHRISTIAN HERITAGE & SERVICE.  Regardless of how the world is living-our Christian heritage must be passed on to each generation.  “I will make Your name to be remembered in all generations.  Therefore the people shall praise You forever and ever.” Psalm 45:17.  Also, always remembering, “you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light;” 1 Peter 2:9

The photos above were taken on Saturday at Lake Tahoe.  We live just 20 miles from the lake and get to enjoy its beauty often.  Saturday was unusual because there was virtually no wind.  I took these panaromic shots hoping to piece them together in a scrapbook - but thought I'd share with you all first.  The shades of blue were amazing.  The pictures start at the south side of the lake and go all the way to the north. 

I wrote this poem this morning after my walk.  God is good.  Enjoy this day.

Worshiping with Giants

Before the morning light

reached the cool earth

I walked among the forest giants

Their structure and form

a visual example of a Christ-filled life

in this mountain-top museum

of God’s Perfect Design

Each tree so different

I delighted in them all

seeing myself in each shape and style

but drawn to the tallest, highest and most majestic of these

The worshipers swayed with exceeding grace

and their voices whispered beautiful praises to their Creator

How I longed to join them – and I did

As I walked - their worship

drew me in deeper -

I dared not turn my heart and eyes away

understanding God had a message – a reminder

Just watch them, He said.  Just watch.

With each gentle sway I understood

to grow taller and dance with grace –

deeper still must my roots be

As the sun touched their tops and their shadows extended I knew

to reach wider –

longer still must I drink from the Living Water

What truth they told-

His words

His thoughts

always evident to me when I look and see

His way for me

is not a mystery

Last Friday I could tell we weren't going to get too much school work done at the table.  Taking a cue from so many other bloggers - like Melissa - I decided to pack up Science and our sketchbooks and head outside.  (See photos above.)

It was just a short hike to a beautiful meadow carpeted with little yellow flowers - (still need to identify those).  The kids ran to the creek and were knee deep in two minutes flat. 

We didn't get all that I wanted done - but we did identify a tree, discuss ants and some of their worthy character traits and read a chapter of Mrs. Pigglewiggle. 

Most beneficial of all was the fresh air which inspired me and delighted their souls.  We will do it again soon.

Oh - just as an aside - today I caught my 6 yr. old daughter picking her nose - and said, "Laura, don't pick your nose" - to which she replied - "I'm not - I'm trying to put it back in." 

Today the sun in shining - the air is warm - the birds are happily singing

I'm sitting at the table after lunch - procrastinating cleaning up the kitchen.

I can hear the kids playing outside - we are a very loud family

Soon we will get in the car and go to swimming lessons

My mind is overflowing - planning our Homeschool Leadership Meeting for tonight contemplating who will come forward and serve next year - wondering what God will Do.  There are never enough willing volunteers and yet He always provides.

I'm wishing I could sit back in the sun with my homeschool books and plan, plan , plan.  Alas, it isn't so.

The to-do list for the week looks like this...Swimming Lessons, Leadership Meeting, Baseball Game, AWANA, Co-Op, Youth Group, Music Practice, Haircuts, Insurance Renewal for Work, and...I'm sure I left somthing out.  But it will come to me eventually, probably 10 minutes before I'm supposed to be there.

The delayed gratification of time to plan our school upcoming school year - should make it all the more sweeter when I finally settle down in my wonderful patio furniture, under the umbrella, sip iced tea and make notes to my heart's content - Googling unit studies and researching library books until my fingers go numb.

My husband is right - he married a NERD.

In each year of our homeschooling journey - our focus has become more and more refined.  We began with the simple, yet worthy purpose to protect our children from the cruelity of other children - and selfishly, to avoid long hours of homework during our precious evenings.  A good start I suppose, but from where we started - God had a long way to lead us to His final destination - a place on the map called "Obedience".  Who were those two selfish and immature Christians?  But, my mind could not have grasped Gods plan back then.  I've had to wander the desert following His Cloud and Smoke in order to understand His purpose.  I am saddened, yet so thankful - that through homeschooling, the truths of the Old Testament have been revealed to me so I can teach them to my children and perhaps their purposes will be discovered in their young lives so that they can be momentum in of the revival in America. 

This revelation of who we are as God's children has caused me to gradually dump my ideas of what home education looks like and turn to God for the truth.  In my seven years of homeschooling God's plan for teaching my children the truth has been shown to me in this order - sometimes gracefully and others with a thump on the head:

1. Textbooks, Workbooks and other "packages" are not God's plan for my family
2. Pagan holidays and other customs should not be part of our curriculum or a focus for our family.  Yes, we still celebrate Christmas - but Santa , the Easter Bunny and other holiday characters have been virtually erased from our home and school.
3. Government has no place in our homeschool or in raising our children.  After a two year stint in a homeshool Charter school - we went back out on our own, rejecting money and guidance.  This act was not painful because we lost financing or guidance - I was quite happy to be rid of both of those "monkies" around my neck.  What hurt tremendously about rejecting the Charter school was that it required me to step out on my own - withouth the support of my friends and social network.  My actions were controversial and considered by some as abandonment and even, fanatical.  Who knew I was a fanatic?
4. AWANA is not a substitute for Bible teaching in the home.  Shocking, I know. 
5. Bible Teaching must be the core of our school.
6. Bible Teaching must be the core of our school.  (It took me a couple of years to fully understand what this meant for our family and while I might understand it now - I'm still executing it.  No easy task!)
7. I love history and all the opportunities it offers our family to do "projects" - but these projects can (in some cases) be considered a celebration of things "not of God" - humanistic in nature.  I must carefully evaluate all we do - and ALWAYS tie it back to God's word.  If it does not reinforce what God is teaching us through our Bible training and education - then it is not a worthy project.  I must refine our History studies even further. 
8. Science has a bigger role in our school that I thought.  I confess, I hate science as it is presented in traditional school.  The focus our school systems places on science is a celebration of man's knowledge and I have found it disgusting and thus rejected it.  God has shown me that teaching Science from His perspective is worship and essential for us to understand who we are.  It is a key part of our Christian foundation, but in my home it must be taught entertwined with the Bible.  I must bring the study of science captive under God's word.  Having done that this year - with the help of Considering God's Creation, I am ready to jump in deeper.  This is a very exciting part of our school now.
9. Character Training is paramount.  This is the ONE that I am most disappointed I didn't learn first.  If I had understood how important this is and DONE it, my homeschool and home would be so much more peaceful and pleasant.  My one great consolation is that through my trials - I can teach young mothers "what not to do".  I was so anxious to start "school", that I neglected to shape their characters in that moldable time.  Granted, I have younger children and more chances to do it right - but bad parenting habits are hard to break.  I am not without hope - or God's grace.  I will press on with character training.
10. And the tenth thing God has brought into focus during these seven years is that education for educations' sake is not our purpose.  Our mission is to raise Christians of character who are obedient to Christ and His call to serve.  Certainly, as parents we must educate our children and prepare them to serve in whatever capacity He has for them. But their character and foundation is my priority. 

To be honest - I have no idea where exactly God is leading us as we prepare our children to be independent and self-sufficient.  I do know the promises God gives - for following Him - so that is what I will continue to do. Follow Him - eyes wide, ears open and hands lifted high.

When the world creeps in - with talk of college prep and credits and all that - I can begin to doubt.  Can I really train them God's way and prepare for them a transcript worthy of college application?  Yes. Yes.  I've seen it done - and He promises!  Not in so many words - but the verse that comes to mind first is "for I know the plans I have for you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Jer. 29:11 

I recognize that while many people totally get what I'm saying and came to this conclusion long ago - many do not.  I would hope that by sharing the path God has lead me on I have not judged anyone else.  God reveals His plan to each of us according to His timing.  May you have peace if you are where God has led you - and if not - I pray that you seek out His will for your family and your homeschool.  This is a journey. 

Living in small town, we have a fairly small support group.  It consists of about 25 families with about 20 being regularily active.  These last few years we've embarked on holding a short Co-Op in the spring and the fall.  It runs once a week for six weeks.  This goal is worthy but still so much work.  We are getting ready to start this week and the topic is DRAMA/THEATER.  I may have bitten off more than I can chew.  We are just trying to keep it simple and fun - but simplicity is something I stuggle with.  Moms seem so tapped out.  We all have to choose what is most important - and choosing to do nothing outside of our normal subjects has to be ok.  There are seasons for everything.  What worked one year doesn't necessarily mean it will be good for the next.  This is one of the hardest parts about being in any position of leadership.  "Reading the crowd" and being ahead of the curve instead of crashing and burning mid turn. 

I've enjoyed reading about other moms who use the Keepers program for a co-op or get togethers.  I am talking with another mom about putting a group together.  I'm super excited about this. I've really only seen it used for girls groups.  Does anyone have experience or a reference for using it in a boys group?

Have a blessed day - I'll post how our DRAMA went.

It is one of those rare spring days in the mountains, when the wind is warm,  and the sun is even warmer.  Spring in the high Sierra is mostly sunny, but step outside and you'll be greeted by a brisk wind or just plain freezing temperatures.  Not today - after several days of 22 degree mornings we woke to a balmy 42.  Wahoo!

I forced school until noon and just couldn't torture them any longer.  Out, Out, Out.  My 17 mo son enjoyed his first excursion to the sandbox, albiet very wet.  I'm putting off his nap because he seems to be enjoying the fresh air more than he needs the rest.  He just gave a bite of his snack to the dog and put the rest in his mouth.  Must be a good day - cause I didn't do a thing to stop it.

The girls are in and out - singing as they go - making up songs about bugs and worms.  My girls are more interested in what is under the rocks that my 10 yrold boy.  Of course they still have to work around patches of snow to find them.

And me?  Well, I'm avoiding most responsiblities - except recording our attendance to see how many more days until 180.  Wahoo - we will take a 6 week breat at the end of May.  Six weeks to go.  What's that song - sing with me now.

"I think I can make it now, the rain is gone.  All of the bad feelings have disappeared.  There is that rainbow I 've been praying for, it's gonna be a bright, bright sunny day."

I'm certain I've mixed up the lines - but you get the idea.

Each year I've been inching my way towards year roung school and this year finds me even closer.  I've just scheduled the six week summer break and then back at it for the middle of July.  I think for me - with all I try to do both with my support group and my personal responsibilities with our business, that a traditional school year is just too much pressure.  I need to spread it out more and take a load off.  Besides - the kids go a little batty with too much unscheduled time.  Now - to break it to my girlfriends. 

That's all for me now - enjoy the moment - Saturday's high is forcasted for 42.  YUCK!

The past months my heart has been too full and my schedule even fuller.

The days seem endless and yet - I've struggled to create order and schedule.  I stay home and still my heart and mind is not focused on my home. I have come to the realization that I have gotten off track.

I (re)learned recently that I could probably be labeled a Melancholy-Choleric.  I am an organized homebody with administrative and leadership abilities which drag me out of my home - then I like to complain about it.  I'm learning that often we are gifted with two things that seem in conflict with each other.  This in itself seems to create the perfect situation for God to draw us near and keep us reliant on Him.

As it is for me.  So what is the secret to joy?  How can my melancholy spirit feel the joy I long for?  It is so simple and still I don't see it for many days sometimes.  He offers me joy in the music that delights my soul and in the nature all around me.  How do I go for days ignoring such things?  When I find my way back to His fellowship I rediscover these tokens He has offered me.  For some these tokens may be the fellowship of other believers, the sharing and the relating that reveals God's love for  us.  He speaks to each of us in the language we understand intimately and deeply. 

I am sometimes embarrased and ashamed about my personality makeup.  Sadly, I have been influenced by someone who taught me that this inner conflict between the cheerleader and the dark brooding artist equated to being insincere and fake, that those two contrasting personalities in me meant I wasn't being real part of the time.  How could that be? 

I must learn and know the truth.  God created this in me.  It is not a punishment or a flaw - but the gift He has given to me to reveal His glory to others and to minister to my person, my inner being.  Through my melancholy He speaks to my soul and through my choleric He (may) speak to others.  He is a God of order and balance - and I am living proof of that.  So are you.  I see it in my spouse and children.  I see it in my closest girlfriend as I watch her personal struggles. 

Delight in it.  Embrace it.  Being someone who has always shied away from conflict - I understand that avoiding conflict here on earth is no good for us.  Even if there is no external conflict - such as relational conflict - the inner conflict almost always affects us or we are ignoring it.  I don't know anyone who doesn't have days or weeks when they don't struggle within themselves to balance.

So my lesson today - I cannot eliminate the conflict - but balance it.  As if I am walking a tightrope - God has given me the pole for balance and provided the net underneath me.  All I have to do is walk - be obedient and BALANCE.

May God bless your day - see Him everywhere -

for He is everywhere!

The children and I are studying Ancient Greece.  This study would not be complete without a discussion about Plato who believed and taught that education was essential to a productive and sustaining society.  Of course Oprah preaches this same thing but without any seeming regard for WHAT the education is.  I've always struggled with this idea because so much of what our universities teach is contrary to God's truth.  I have not been able to reconcile the value of an education with the poison of evolution, humanism and other lies taught in the halls of academia. 

But when I started thinking about Plato's beliefs from a Chrisitan perspective I was able to see the truth of it.  If we educate our children in the ways of the Lord, teach them to evaluate all things through the lens of the Bible - they will be more able to free themselves and their society from tyranny. Especially now as our country is in the grips of a moral crisis - education is the key.  We, as mothers and teachers, hold this key. 

I have had the great pleasure of hearing Christian Worldview speakers, Mark Beliles of the Providence Foundation, Dr. David Vaughan. author and Marshall Foster of the Mayflower Institute. These men talk of our Christian heritage and all believe that homeschooling is paramount to that heritage being restored. 

So it was very exciting this week to have God use Plato to reinforce my convictions.  And surprising - I don't agree with Ms. Oprah very often even if it is only partially.

I'm always puzzled and amazed at how God has gifted us so differently and yet - deeply we are still all the same - His children.  Why this is so bewildering to me - I don't know.  Perhaps in my mind it is difficult to understand how God can take all His unruly and undisciplined children with so many different gifts and talents, sins and burdens and stir it all together into something that gives him Glory -  because I can't seem to stir together my four young children and come up with much more than a few good hours of peaceful cohabitation each day.  It just goes to prove how our human minds cannot understand God because of the original sin. 

Why am I pondering such a thing?  Today a freind shared with me how God had been revealing Himself to them.  Ways that just don't happen to me - if you know what I mean.  I don't get woken up in the middle of the night and I don't have an hour long prayer session with God full of tears and songs of praise.  I don't doubt my faith or my relationship with Christ - I was just so...like I said puzzled.   I know the answer to the "why" we are different -  but it just didn't seem to satisfy my ponderings.

But today as I was returning home from dropping my dd off at Youth Group a song came into my mind - "Spirit of the Living God".  I have not heard or sang this song in more than 10 hears.  I have not thought of it.  But the words came flooding back to me like yesterday, like a breath from heaven - full of reassurance and rest.  Words that reminded me that I can ask for the Spirit of God to fall on me and He promises that He will.  I know that like the song asks - God is and will continue to mold me,shape me, fill me and use me.   The ME is key in this song - because it means He will mold ME specifically, with the raw materials I am made of. 

The Spirit of God is evident in my life - but Satan does try to use our humanness against us.  Our quest to understand and be like God via any other method than complete obedience and child-like faith will only prove to be a risky endeavor.  Satan's traps are disguised and he almost got me.  The enemy almost side-tracked me from thanking God for blessing and edifying my friend.  He almost did...But not quite.  God breathed on me and reminded me of the TRUTH.  So thank you God.  Thank you for the blessings in my friends life.  Thank you for blessing me with the privilage of helping and mentoring this friend - even if their relationship with YOU is looking different than mine.  To God be the Glory.

. 

We've been back from vacation a week and a couple of days - but sadly we were met at home with terrible colds.  Must have got them on the plane.  Our high enthusiasm to dive into school was dashed with sneezes, coughs and headaches.  These are the bumps and curves of homeschooling.  I guess I should be more upset about missing another week - but God has given me peace about it. 

The snow has kept coming and coming all week long.  Not with huge amounts of build up - but just slow and steady.  The mountains are violet and white offset by the pale blue of the winter sky.  It is cold and the trees seem cozy snuggled in blankets of white.  Being the "sunniest place on earth" most of the time - these days upon days of cloud cover have contributed to the fog we are in - in the house.  But, today the sun finally shed light on the Glory of God all around us.  I love the peacefulness that settles in during and right after a snow storm.  The hustle and bustle abates and we all seem happy to be indoors - as long as we remembered to stock up on the basic grocery needs before the flakes began to fall. 

Another wave of storm is supposed to hit later tonight and I'm looking forward to more rest.  Hopefully it is still snowing Monday morning - the kids always do well in their studies when it is white outside, without the sun calling their names to come and play. 

I have the desire to break out the scrapbooking stuff - but not the energy.  I suppose my creative juices will have to be directed to blogging.  Moving from this chair seems impossible, except when the baby requires my attention.  Everyone else is on their own. 

Well, I'm looking forward to checkng in on all my friends, so I'll sign off for now.  Once the decongestant clears my system, I'll be back.     H

I was just thinking last night as I tossed and turned trying to go to sleep  - that I should pop in and post an entry.  As the children prepare for a slumber party in the living room - an annual New Year's eve tradition - I'm enjoying a few quiet minutes to sort out the last few weeks.  Where did the time go?  There was the baking, the ice skating, the gingerbread village (yes, I said village not just a house) and the shopping for food which never seemed to end.  But this year - for the first time in such a long time, the holidays brought me a sense of peace (in general).  Yes, there were frenzied moments. Don't let me kidd you - but because I said no to so many social things - we got to enjoy each other and our decorated home so much more.  Usually I don't even have time to bake.  And I'll admit it...we skipped Christmas Eve services at church and read the Christmas story at home in our living room.  Once I shed the guilt - I enjoyed the evening a lot.

Ah - but the big secret that has really kept me a way from the blog was...we surprised the kids with a trip to Disneyworld for their Christmas present.  Planning the surprise in secret - in a house full of loud and nosey children was challenging.  The surprise was consuming my brain and I could share it with so few people for fear they'd give it away.  I staged a Scavenger Hunt for Christmas morning with clues and challenges - like delivering breakfast to a neighbor and opening 60 Oreo cookies looking for three pennies - in order for them to solve the mystery  of  "What is for Christmas?"

The final clue led them to boxes - inside were custom made t-shirts that had Mickey on the front saying Yipee.  On the back it read - "The Vaughan Family is Going to Disneyworld in 2008".  At first they were thinking  March - but when they realized we were leaving in 2 weeks - they were so excited. 

We are now in the seven day window and we can prepare openly.  I keep finding myself whipering to my husband about it and then realize - I don't have to whisper any more.  Have you even kept a secret?   Some people have a really hard time with it. 

I'm still in shock that we are going - as dh said he never wanted to visit a Disney park again - after the last time.  But I mentioned wanting to do a trip as the present this year - and he suggested it.  Go figure?

I'm sorry I have nothing deep and meaningful here to post.  My mind is still locked into logistics and details of moving a family of six across the country without major mishap.

There is one detail - I could use help from you all with.  Any good suggestions for fiction reading?  I don't read a lot of fiction that isn't Christian - but sometimes that genre can get - how to say it - a little cheesy.  And I don't have an hour to browse the Christian book store.  Any ideas? 

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season - Heidi

How many times has this happened to you?  You go to the library and right there on the shelf for display is a book about whatever you are studying.  Or - You open the newspaper (after several weeks or days not having a chance to read - and there in the events section is an ad for a movie or exhibit that is about your topic of study.  OR - You start to plan a trip and the location turns out to be perfect for what you will be studying at that time.  I can't even count how many times this happens to our family.  I always point it out to the kids and they smile - but I don't think they understand how amazing it is that God cares about even the smallest of details and that HE is directing their education.  WONDERFUL!

Please comment if this happens to you.  I'd love to read examples of God's grace and goodness in your life!

H

In the Homeschool Minute Nancy Carter talks about working & homeschooling moms hearing the dreaded (she didn't say dreaded, I did) "I don't know how you do it all."  Just last week someone said that to me and I thought to myself - what you really mean to say is I don't think you really do - do it all.  I hear so much skepticism in some voices.  Oh well, I don't really mean to comment much except - I do secretly wonder how I do it all and Nancy's scripture summed it up perfectly.  "My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect is weakness."  2 Corin. 2:9

This last week - I have been amazed at the progress my children have shown and questioned "how did this happen?"  Surely, I am not responsible.  And surely - I am not.  Praise the Lord - my almost (in two days) one year old is taking his first steps.  Praise the Lord, the reading lightbulb came on for my 5yo dd - granted, it is only cat and hat and mat and pat.  But she finally understood sounding out the word and now we are moving forward.  Praise the Lord, my 9yo ds worked on his writing assignment willingly and even went to use the thesaurus on his own.  Praise the Lord, my 12 yo dd is getting a A in math - a subject she has struggled with the last couple of years.  God's faithfulness was shown to me over and over, His promise delivered-on right before my eyes.  (Who says there are no modern miracles?  They obviously don't know how much my ds hates writing.)

All these praises are to the Lord - my strength and shield.   I was part of the process - a vessel used by God. But I didn't supply the power or the contents.  What a relief that is!  Who knows what foolishness they would be learning if it was left up to me. 

I know how these little victories make me feel - they spur me on for more.  I feel special that God even had a minute to address my tribulations.   I wonder how all these mini victories feel to God.  I hope they feel like praise, like songs of thankfulness - loud and clear, like tender caresses on the shoulder for a job well done.  So I say to Him, "Thank you, thank you, thank you - I am unworthy - yet You love me anyway.  And you have chosen to show me this love - this week - what a blessing!  I love you."

H

I juggle many things in my life.  Do you?  I have a rather old fashioned husband - juggling ball #1.  Add four children, spread out with different interests and needs, add homeschooling, and top it off with a growing business to help oversee.  A lot of balls in the air all the time. 

I admit it, I sometimes throw a pity party.  Why me?  But the truth is...I really don't want to have a different life, I really just want to do my life better and therein lies the problem.  All those "I"s in my thoughts and feelings. 

So today I'm thankful that God understands this about me because He created me.  He knows exactly how many balls to toss me and when.  He brings scriptures and people into my life to remind me often of HIS truth and plan for my life.

I started writing this entry a month ago when three balls were up in the air.  Now today, I have new balls and at least four tossed up there.  Is this how a Proverbs 31 woman felt?

I have so often felt in the middle.  On one side I have people saying, "You need to slow down, get rid of some of your responsiblities.  Why don't you hire a housekeeper or a nanny?"  and then I have others saying "You really should have your own ministry.  You need to support your church, AWANA, homeschool group, missionaries, political party, and stay in touch with current events."  Is this you - somewhere in the middle?  Just trying to make your family your "ministry"?  If so, take heart.  You are not alone.  My family is my ministry.  I declared that as the truth in my life two years ago and while the path of this ministry is never easy - it is clear and well defined.

Well, that's my plan and I'm sticking to it.  My family is my ministry.  And whatever I have to do to grow them, train them, teach them, lead them and stretch them I will do!  Only if the activity supports that goal will I participate.  It has made my life so much easier and all those balls a lot simplier to handle - even when there is a lot of them.  We cannot serve two masters.  I'm pressing on...hope you are too!

This week we enjoyed two great nature hikes - and sadly we had snow two times as well.  Winter seems to be upon us early, but I'm still hopeful for crisp fall days minus snow.

Fall is my absolute favorite time of year.  I consider it to be the beginning of the year - instead of January, even before I started homeschooling.  I so enjoy the excitement of new subjects, fresh clean books and brand new pencils.  The colors are also my favorite here in the mountains - the contrast of the evergreens and the reds, golds and yellows of the aspens and maples. 

So the nature hikes - we headed out with our sketch pads, and nature id book and I can't believe what a great time we had.  I was so impressed with my kids.  At the end of each hike - both older kids said, "We are so doing this again!" 

 All and all - we have enjoyed fall so far. I am hopeful that we have more crisp days as opposed to freezing days, so that we can enjoy more days together outside.

I love my husband because he never tells me only what I want to hear.

I love my husband because he always challenges me to LIVE my faith.

I love my husband because he allows and supports me in being a mother and a teacher to my children.

I love my husband because he sees the real me and likes me anyway.

I love my husband because he seems to want to talk to me and have me be part of all his life.

I love my husband because even after all these years, he can still surprise me with something I didn't know about him.

I love him because he never points out my bad habits or critizes me. 

I love him because he smells really good. 

I love his arms and hands.  Just seeing him hold our children or stear us down the road can give me shivers. 

I love God for giving this man to me.  I am so blessed - I do not deserve this man here on earth, but I am so very thankful and try to tell him so each and every day. 

Why do you love your husband?

I'm so pleased to hang out here with other somewhat "clueless" bloggers, no offense ladies.

I have no idea how to put the Nice award on my side bar.  I can't even figure out how my background on my entries turned gray. 

I'm considering taking a html class at the local community college in October, but I really don't have time, and if I did I would rather go scrapbooking. 

I think I'll just limp along here.  Sort of like having coffee with good friends at the kitchen table instead of going out for fancy starbucks.  It is the company that matters most.

Heidi

Yesterday, at our first homeschool support group meeting, I organized a ice-breaker called Got Fruit?  Each person was asked to think of the fruit of the spirit they NEED and find others with the same need.  My need is JOY!  I am faithful, loving, kind, occassionally good, sometimes self-controlled, peaceful most of the time, but JOYLESS way too much.  I just want to have fun - but I'm stuck in this "can't get out of my own way" mind.  I know the joy is a spirit thing.  I know that all the fruits of the spirit are just that - evidence of Christ's work in us, but I just can't seem to latch onto that JOY.  I'm not an unhappy person or sullen in any way.  In fact, I think most people who know me would say I am optimistic and encouraging, - but full of Joy?  That might be stretching it.  

Can anyone tell me about a time when Christ expressed JOY?  I've been racking my brain, and I can't really come up with anything.  Maybe it is when the little children came to Him?  Boy, isn't that ironic.  The one thing I want to be most joyful to and about, my children, are the maybe to one thing that truly made Jesus joyful. 

The good news is that after we did the fruit we need, we did the fruit we HAD.  My fruit is faithfulness.  And isn't that a blessing.  I am full of faith, that God is working this joy out in me- so that someday, it will overflow, bubble and spring forth like a hugh gusher.  Someday my joy will be unmistakable to anyone who sees me. 

You know what does makes me joyful?  Reading the Psalms.  But you know what - the overachiever in me says "don't read that, it is for wimps, you should be studying the hard stuff".  I know, can you believe I talk that way to myself?  So I'm signing off now, to go read the Psalms - just because it makes me be joyful in the Lord!

Hope you have a little joy in your life today!