Should you trust your children?

I was chatting on the phone with someone today and they told me they would never trust their kids, that noone should ever trust their kids (to tell the truth), that all kids are going to make mistakes and they will all lie.

I disagree.  Yes all kids will make mistakes. (Duh! Like WE don't???) and yes probably all kids will tell a lie at some point in their child hood.  That's normal.  You correct it and you go on.  It's called learning. Does that mean you should NEVER trust your kids?  I don't think so.  I completely trust my kids.  I am not a naive mother who thinks her kids can do no wrong, but I have trained them diligently from day one, that if they lie to me, the consequences will be much harsher than if they tell the truth in the first place.  The thing is you CORRECT IT!

I completely trust my children to tell me the truth, and the odd time I am not sure if they fudging the truth, I will say to them, "You better be telling me the truth, for if I find out you're not, you are dog meat.  And I WILL find out.  I will ALWAYS find out....." 

That always makes them cave.  If they were lying, at this point, they will tell me the truth.....If at this point, they are still sticking to their story I would bet my my cadbury creme egg that's hidden in my dresser drawer that they're not lying, especially my eldest. She's as honest as the day is long. 

And my middle....she might lie in the fear of the moment but she will always confess later.  But we've dealt with that and she is now aware that it is best to tell the truth in the first place. 

All of my kids have a healthy conscience. And I trust that. does that mean I believe they will never lie to me in their life? Well, no.... they might. They're human. They are capable of lying. But I can't live in constant suspicion of them!

Am I a naive mother? I don't think so. I'm not blind to my kids faults. I don't close my eyes to what goes on around me. I am conscious of their moods, actions, whereabouts etc....but  My goodness, if your own parents don't believe in you who will? And how will THEY believe in themselves?  I trust them until they give me reason not to trust them.  We haven't quite hit the teen years so maybe I'll change my mind then. I hope not. I want to be able to believe in and trust my kids.  I think that if you are constantly suspicious and never trusting your kids they are defeated before they've begun and they just give up and don't care.  My kids know I trust them and I have taught them that trust is a treasure, that they better not break it for it is nearly impossible to fix, once broken.  And it is very important to them to keep my trust.

Am I delusional? Do you think parents should NEVER EVER trust their kids?

Posted by homeschoolingmommaof4

I too, believe you should always trust your children. If you just assume from day one you can't trust them aren't you setting them up to be that way? I think your children well respond according to how you treat them and what you expect from them. Well that's my 2 cents.

Posted by barbieheart

Hi! I enjoyed reading your blog. As far as trusting children, think about how our Heavenly Father treats us--He always trusts us, even though He knows we will...whatever. (and usually I spill my guts when He confronts me, too!)

Barbara

Posted by laurie

My children are 31, 29, 22, 20, 18, and 17. I have raised them like you raise yours, it sounds like, and they do not lie. I have wonderful relationships with my children, my gifts from G-d.