Recently a friend and I have been discussing the QF philosophy.  It's been on my heart a lot lately as I am only very recently able to concieve again.  Sometimes it seems so perfect.  I have 2 boys and 2 girls.  My hands certainly are full.  But I'm really thankful for that and feel blessed to have them.  Today my FB status (and running into comments)  said:

Why do I have so many children? My toddler just leaned over, nuzzled my face and gave me 3 kisses. I felt my heart melting. Watching my 4 year old spin around in circles giggling. Or the funny moments like when she said "Mommy I need a crown" I said "Oh really?" and she said "Yeah, cause I'm a princess and princesses wear crowns."    Or when my 6 year old writes me notes that say "Mommy, you are the best mommy. I love you" or when me and my 8 year old just sit and chat and she tells me about all her wonderful plans for the castle she's going to build. I'm smiling as I type this. There is nothing greater than being a mother, no greater occupation than staying home with them,  no greater desire than that they walk in truth and know the Lord. These little children are precious little miracles and I am blessed the Lord has sought it fit to give them to me. I look at my 3rd and 4th child, the ones most wouldn't have cause not many have more than two and certainly not if the first and second are both genders, and my heart just swells with joy.  I'm so thankful that God placed it on our hearts to have a big family. Each one brings something special to our family. Each one makes life sweeter. This truly is the blessed life.

I'm feeling so much joy, so much peace, so much contentment with my family, with my calling, my ministry.  I know, beyond a shadow, that I belong at home and so do my children.  I am the daughter of the Most High God.  He is my Abba.  He has called me to serve Him and serve my family.  To raise up a Godly seed that will raise up Godly seed, that will raise up Godly seed for every generation to come until the Lord returns and we all go home.

I've been thinking on just what it is God wants from me, as a Christian, a mother and a wife.  I have such a peace over me as I type  this, I just want to bask in it.   I am so thankful that the Lord was faithful to pull me out of the pit I was in and set my feet upon a rock.

"I sought the LORD, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears." Psalm 34:4

Thinking on what to do next year.  I think I'm going to use HOD Preparing for my 2 oldest, they'll be 2nd and 4th grade.  We're still working out what to do about my oldest's LA.  DS will be doing McRuffy's.  He also does McRuffy's for math.  DD will continue on with Math-U-See.  My younger girl will be in Kindergarten.  She'll be doing SL 4/5.  I think I'm getting SL science K and 2 for the kids as well. 

I was really excited to go to the homeschool convention this year.  But, now I'm not sure I should.  I already know what  I want to do this year.  I'm afraid going to see all I could have will make me question what I've chosen.

Today I washed down all the main floor walls and the furniture in the kids rooms.  Then I wiped down the stairs and walls to the upstairs.

My Dad came over tonight.  He's a scientologist, so I have to watch what I say around him.  But it was a pretty good visit.  My dad use to be the manager at my husband's old job.  DH is still in the same field and feeling really frustrated tonight.  My dad was able to encourage him in a way I couldn't as I just don't have the knowledge of the job, place or people.  My dad actually managed at this place for awhile too, while DH was in bible college.  I don't see my dad much, but this seemed like a well timed visit. 

My dad and aunt were raised Christian.  My aunt in now a 'spiritualist' as whe puts it.  I'm praying for my dad and aunt to get saved and hopefully while my grandparents are still alive.  That would be such a blessing to them.

I've started spring cleaning, in addition to my decluttering.  Today I went through all the drawers and cabinets in the livingroom.  Dusted everything, including under everything on the desk, like the scanner.  Went through the book shelf.  Went through my son's toy area and put over half of them down stairs so that is still has lots, but it's not over flowing. Went though the bathroom cabinets and hall closet.  Did the kids rooms too.   I can't wait til the whole house is finished!!!

One of my bridemaid's just added me on facebook.  I haven't seen her in 3 years.  She's still just as beautiful.  Hasn't aged a bit from when I met her at 20 and she's now 28.  Still just as thin.  I on the other hand have put on 30lbs, though only 10 since the last time I seen her.  I certainly have aged.  They have 2 vehicles and a nice place.  She has a social life and goes to the gym while her 2 children are at school.  I bet her house is tidy too.  She's coming over tomorrow and I feel embarrassed for her to see me.  I asked her about her DD's school.  SHe said it's a big one and a little rough, but told me how she's handeling it.  So now I keep thinking about how I just weaned the baby, I could loose some weight now.  I could put the kids in school and go back to the gym.  I could make friends and do stuff.  I could feel like the old me again.  But that's not the me I want to be again.  I'm looking at her life and all I see is freedom.  Freedom from the struggles of homeschooling, freedom from not having any friends.  But at what cost to my children? 

I've loathed public school for so long now.  I feel like I'd be handing my kids to the devil.  But honestly, I'm doing such a poor job HSing, I wonder if it wouldn't be better for them to go and learn and have fun in a classroom and just be super involved in the school like I was when my DD was in K.  I'm having trouble managing the home and kids.  I'm stresses out and angry all the time.  I feel like I'm just a mean grumpy mommy that isn't teaching them much about God's love and grace anyways.  Maybe if they went to school, I could take care of the home while they were gone and enjoy them when they were home.  All of us are in tears at least once a day it seems.  The work never seems to get finished.  Are some people just really not cut out for homeschooling?   At what point do you say you're doing your children a disservice by keeping them home?

Happy New Year!!!

It's 2010 in  17 minutes here.  I feel full of hope for the up coming year.  Some goals I have are:

Read my bible everyday

Be the wife I want my husband to have

Be the parent I want my children to have

Become more routine in my HSing

Drastically reduce the amount of sugar and white flour I eat.

Have the house the way DH like it when he gets home

Keep all areas of my life in a healthy balance.

Feel free to share some of your goals if you wish:)

A friend of mine, also a homeschooling mom of 4 have been discussing lately why the church isn't the place of ministry it once was.  Women use to bring food when someone was sick or a child was born.  Help them out when needed.  Aide an elderly.  4 children I've had, and never once has anyone brought anything and only once has someone offered to help out.  That was at my church in NY.  I have seen moms get help other moms out there.  But that was a primarily homeschooling mini-mega church.  At our church, it's not so.  And why?  Because the women aren't home to help!  They are too busy at work, to tired once they get home.  We don't serve the way we use to.  We aren't the help we use to be.  We use to live in smaller communites too, where it was easier to lend a hand.  It's a shame.  But it's prompted me to make sure I bring a meal for the next mama to have a baby at our church.

I'm sorry I don't update much.  I've had many readers over the couse of my blog, but most leave cause I don't post much.  Sorry about that.

Well, things are going good here.  I'm getting back to daily bible reading, and I'm actually making it 3 times a day reading.  When I first wake up, during quiet time and before bed.  I'm feeling more encouraged and optimistic daily.  I'm asking the Lord to bring me clear understanding in the areas that have confused me.  I feel peace.  It's wonderful.

My oldest,8,  is wonderful!  She's such a delight to talk to.  She's an amazing artist and comes up with creations daily, whether building it, drawing it or in the kitchen.  She's really into horses and loves to dance.  She just got a kitten.

My oldest son, just turned 6, is very talented in math and has a heart to serve.  He writes me notes that say "Mommy, I love you sooooo much"  with like 80 '0's, I counted one day, lol.  He loves anything orange, as is his hair. 

My youngest daughter, 4 next week, is so adorable.  And she says so too: "Mommy, I'm adorable".  It's so cute.  I just want to keep her 3 forever.  Yesterday, DS gave her a tangerine.  She brings it out to me and says "Yuck, I don't like tangerines".  I look and she took a bite out of the peel!  She's so proud to be a 'big girl' now that she night trained.  She's trying to use big words now, but she uses them in the wrong place.  It's often very cute. 

My youngest son will be 18 months next week.  He didn't walk til about a month ago.  The others ran by there b-day, so that was quite a change.  Now he's everywhere!  He's just started copying everything you say.  He's favorite word right now is "cookie".  He was completly addicted to breastfeeding, so, for his benefit, we're weaning.  All he would do is cry and try to nurse.  After just 1 day of no milkie til after nap, he was doing much better.  It's been 2 weeks now.  We only nurse when he wakes in the morning, as he's still in my bed and before bed.  Plus all night long.  That needs to go next, maybe even this weekend if DH is on board.  He's alot happier now that he's not preoccupied with a one track mind.

Baby #5 is not on it's way yet, lol.  I'm open to another if the Lord chooses to bless us again.  I've been pregnant twice around 17 months.  With the oldest 2, I was pregnant on thier 4th birthday with a second child after them.  #3 is 4 next week.  You never know what God will do.  But, even if I got PG now, I wouldn't know about it by her b-day.  Im kind of hoping to be PG for Christmas, so I can tell the families cute ways.  For DH's parent's, I was to wrap a present and have it be a picture frame with a piece of paper saying "Insert #10's photo here September 2010".  For mine...something similar.   Maybe a picture of DS wearing a big brother shirt.  I know DH's family will be happy.  They had a reversal after #3, but never concieved.  My SIL has 4 and plans 7.  Big families are welcome there.  My family...not so much.  But I'll be oh so happy as will DH and the kids and that's wat really matters right?

I'd love to here how my readers are doing!  Please LMK:)

Well, we finally got our stuff to start AW.  It's a hit!  I'm not going to do RTL for my 3yo, it doesn't meash with AW now that I see it together.  RTL teaches A,B,C, AW teaches letters in order to learn to read.  So she'll be doing AW and saxon K.  McRuffy's is a hit for oldest son, and a flop for DD.  I'm going to buy her FFL and WWE and AAS.  BJU math is good for DS, but we'll be switching to CLE when he finishes 1, around Christmas I predict.  BJU is a flop for DD as well, TT is on it's way.  I'm hoping she does well.  I'm going to miss teaching her math, but I hope it'll reach her better than I was.  DITHOR is going well for DD.  I'm so thankful that I homeschool and I can find what works for my DD, instead of pushing her through stuff that just makes her cry and shut down to learning.  I'm thankful I can accelerate my DS so he's not bored to death like her would be in school. 

I used a lot of codes.  Here's a key:

AW- Animals and thier world's by Winter Promise (WP)

RTL- I'm ready to learn by WP

FFL- First Language Lessons

WWE- Writing with ease

AAS- All about spelling

BJU- Bob Jones University

CLE- Christian Light Education

TT- Teaching TExtbooks

DITHOR- Drawn into the heart of reading by Heart of Dakota (HOD)

We're going to be using Winter Promise's Animal's and their worlds (AW). Oldest DD will be using the older stuff with the "Working on my own schedule".  The middle two will be using the younger part.  My younger daughter will also be doing "I'm ready to learn".  The baby, well, he's just being a baby  We'll also be using workboxes this year.  Below is everything we'll be using.  Our first day is suppose to be Tuesday.  I don't think our WP stuff will be here by then.  Or at least not enough to start.  We're egar to start though, so we may just kick it off with SL core 1 while we're waiting.  If it doesn't rain though, we'll be going to the "Not Going Back to School Party" at the park with other HSers.  I've never been to a group in this city before, so I'd like to meet them.  There's no official over head.  They just plan field trips, park days and get togethers on a yahoo group.  The other group in town does classes Friday, but I think I'm more up for just doing feild trips. 

DH is making us a chalk board.  I'm hoping for a desk too, when finances allow.  I bought a bunch of stuff for our room.  The kids want it to look like school this year.  I'll post pics. I'm not setting up til the night before the first day so I can suprise them.  Anyway, here's everything they'll be using.

Oldest Girl Just turned 8 years old, grade 3

AW

McRuffy's phonics and handwriting 2

BJU math 3

All about spelling

Drawn into the heart of reading level 2/3

Typing

Science (deciding between BJU and SL still)

Oldest Boy 6 next month, grade 1

AW

McRuffy's phonics and handwriting 1

BJU math 1

All about spelling

Heart of Dakota emergent readers

Science (deciding between BJU and SL still)

Younger Girl 4 in Dec. , K4

AW tag along

I'm ready to learn

SL LA K (loosely)

McRuffy's tracing books

Kumon workbooks

Younger boy 15 months

Learning to walk

Learning to talk

Wodden toys

Making everyone giggle

Mess making

Ah, it's that time again!!!  Where children are going back to school!  A certain commercial portrays how excited parents are to be getting rid of thier kids again.  Back to school they go!  A father joyously skips down an isle, dragging his miserable children on a couch.  He just can't wait for them to go!  Sadly, at a family get together last weekend, my cousins were talking about the commercial and agreed, they were happy thier kids were going back.  Actually, I am thrilled kids are going back to school.  I can take my kids out now without all the other PS'd kids there, with thier bad attitudes and making things busy, lol.   Parks will be empty, aside from a few wee ones.  Malls will no longer be over run with half dressed, foul mouthed children.  Ah, it's great.  It's just so sad that society feels so negatively towards children.  Towards thier own flesh and blood, the precious wee ones whom they once rocked lovingly in thier arms, they now can't wait to push out the door.  As I said in another post, the one about not fitting in, it's just hard for me to wrap my head around it. 

See, I'm thrilled that my kid's are 'going back to school'.  We ended up taking a break this summer and I throughly miss teaching my kids.  I miss watching them learn math and science.  I miss our projects and story time.  I can't wait to get back to it!  We'll be starting a new curriculum again.  If it ever gets here.  It's 'Animal's and thier world's' and "I'm ready to Learn" by Winter Promise.  I'm so excited!  My kids love animal's especially the oldest.   I'll do another post soon about what all we'll be doing this year.

For me, this is the most wonderful time of the year!  Homeschooling is such a rich and rewarding experience.  I wouldn't give this up for anything.  Watching my children learn, spending all my days with them.  Nurtruing them, guiding them, training them up in the way they should go.  This is exactly what I want to be doing with my life and I'm so thankful the Lord has blessed me with these great kids. 

I posted on this last month.  I now have over 100 swagbucks.  I'm saving up   I'm always searching anyway, and you probably are too.  So why not use me as your referal and we can both win?

http://swagbucks.com/refer/Mumkins

Feminisim.  I loath feminisim.  I believe kids have become so messed up because mommy wasn't home after school to take care of them, protect them and keep them out of trouble.  Out of guilt or foolishness, these children were given too much freedom and spoiled to much.  They grew up with a sense of entitlment.  And then they had babies.  And produced much of the same.  But not too many babies.  Too big of family interferes with how much time one has to thierself and how lavishly they can spend thier money.  I once had someone tell me thier daughter was only having one or two kids so she could pay for thier college.  Since when did children automatically become entilled to a fully funded post secondary degree?  Maybe kids would spend less time partying and out in bars if they had a part time job to pay for thier school.  Feminisim.  I think it's responsible for the rise in divorce too.  Women no longer accepting thier husbands as head in the family, honoring and respecting him.  Instead, they want to be incharge and they want to be the breadwinners.  No man's gonna tell them what to do.  Stay home and raise babies, keep a nice welcoming home and have a hot meal ready for thier man-  Forget  that!  And why raise babies?  Have thier 1.4 kids, shipping off to daycare and pursue thier 'real'l life.  The life that they spend thier freshest and most qumulative waking hours at.  Where they can feel rewarded with cash instead of hugs and kisses.  I like the song Free by Serene and Pearl "Cause I'm a woman, I'm not a man, I long to be just who I am.   Wanna show some feminine charm, hold my babies in my arms and be free".  I couldn't imagine working for some boss all day, picking up my kids from day care or school, throwing together a quick meal, homework at night before they run off to see thier friends and then they are in bed.  I couldn't imagine not being with my kids all day.  They are mine and I'm not giving them to government to raise by day, and to be influenced by other government raised children at night.  Kids always want to run of to play with friends.  That's where the real relationships are as that's whom they spend all thier time with by day, so naturally, they want to by night.  When my kids get together with friends, it's a family thing.  I bring all my kids, or they bring theirs.  I talk with the mom.  I also  blame feminisim for why it's so difficult for women to stay home financially. We've become a society that caters to two income families.  The lust of the eyes and flesh have it.  We see all we want, all we can have.  For those who have no issues with it, that's great.  But for a mom who just wants to be home with her kids, it's heart breaking.  Feminisim.  You might as well just hang up a sign that says "It's all about me, my wants, my desires and my goals".  I still think staying home is more easily attainable than most think.  What if you didn't have to live in such a large home?  Have that 2nd car?  Sattelite TV?  Starbucks every morning?  All the things you do cause you have to have a special woredrobe, nails, wordrobe, hair and meals out?  I know, sometimes, for some, there really isn't any other way.  I'm not saying every situation is going to be just fine on one income.  I'm just saying, if we truly value being home with our kids, we can do with a lot less than we think.  It's all about where your priorties are.  A good book to read is 'The Way Home' by Mary Pride.  I encourage all woman to read it.

However, I have totally lost what I came here to blog about.  I was just googling to see what was being said on the news as I heard Fox was at the door of the poor family I blogged about last month that lost thier baby during an attempted homebirth.  Well, I stumbled across a blog called 'No Longer Qivering".  It states "There's no U in qivering".  It's all about how she 'escaped' the quiverful and patriarhical minset.  And, sadly, how she even walked away from the Lord and doesn't believe in the bible.  It was written by men in a patriahical society (never mind it was God inspired).  It no longer applies today, in our society.  I read some of the comments, applauding her for 'escaping'.  About how others have escaped and found goddess worship.  Ugh.  You wanna know something?  I was wiccan.  I worshiped a goddess.  Maiden, mother, crone.  An harm ye none, do what ye will.  That kind of stuff.  When I became pregnant with my first, I remember studying up how to dedicate her to the goddess.  Near the end, I looked at my belly, seen the little foot stick out like a golf ball and slide to the other side.  I realized that this world had to be made by an all powerful God who could create life out 2 tiny things not even visible to the naked eye and create a tiny perfect human being.  Thank you Jesus for resucing me, for opening my eyes to see all that you have done for me. 

So if you get a chance, please pray for this woman That she comes back to the Lord with her 6 children.  I'm not too cure what her husband is up to now.  But she divorced him and is now a single mom.