just had a workshop tday re drawing models for primary math.   by the end... i was feeling old.

such a long break...my mathematical brain just isnt functioning the same way it did 20-30yrs ago!  am wondering if it's worth the effort to even try e more complex stuff, or shall i just leave it to the boy?  ...let him deal with them when the time comes... he's not needed my help yet, "Maths is my favourite subject Mum!"... so mb i'll get lucky.   :b

anyhow, it was nice to be in a diff neighbourhood for a change, and to enjoy a walk around a rather quaint area. 

i spotted a ballet school in Cambridge Cntr (e 'Dance School' or something like that). it brought a smile to kay's face :)  now i'm trying to figure out how to jusggle her swimming and ballet if she does go there... presently they overlap, and she really is loathe to change swim-days as she wants to be in the same class as kynan.  i feel her quandry, but no choice really. i think i know which way she'll go ;)  (yep, the dancing shoes are calling!)

i've had a sore throat for 3weeks...bn surviving on diff types of throat lozengers and loooaadso of water.  last week i resorted to mouthwash, gargling with salt water, and even putting salt directly on the ulcer that's made it's home at the back of my throat. it's e size of my bb fingernail, but it feels like the fiery crater of a volcano... each time i try to eat or drink it burns like *#^@#* like pouring acid over an open wound.   :(

e last 2 days i cdnt even drink water without cringing... that feeling like yr swallowing broken glass... all the way down my throat...  but i've been forcing myself to eat ...and now and then feel relief from e masochistic pain of really spicey stuff landing on it.   ;)

but by yesterday all i cd bear was icecream and ice milo... (shd be good right...but i started feeling guilty after the 3rd bowl :b)  woke up this morning with a raging headache, pain shooting down my neck into my rt shoulder, and having hot/ cold sweat... cdnt swallow painkillers cos too swollen n raw... so *finally* went to see e doc.

2 more days and i shd be on my road to recovery. :)  and e kids? their's seem manageable for now. e doc's advice for them: "forget e lozengers and just give them icecream!"  i cd just feel the smiles beaming on my neck when i told them this in the car :D

and dh's response? e last few days he's been kissing me on e cheek *only*...veeery carefully! :b

yes!!!

1st day back at gym...getting some circuit-training and toning done. nice to be at it again after 1year.... (or is it longer?)

kay busied herself with h/s work for just over an hour. she was perfectly behaved, never called me for anything throughout... i was sooo happy!

afterwards i took her to a cpl of playgrds on e way back... she was brimming with giggles and fun.  met an old acquaintance too... it was nice to see how her kids have grown. and just catch up, with nowhere to rush off to. 

it was a cool walk back along e canal... so glad i chose e later part of e day. we went straight to fetch ky...so timing and location worked out perfectly!  i can get used to this... :)  hopefully i can commit 3x a week... not sure if i'll see results though, nor how soon...but my face bore testimony to the workout...it was bright red after...so it certainly got the blood pumping!

Mon: am_Ky Spelling T // am_Ky+ Kay+ El_Moral Ed //  pm_Kay Phonics Writing & Phonics Reader, Mental Math Games, Computer Time // Cook Dinner // El_Gym_4-5pm  // *Eve_free*

Tues: am_Ky H/S Book Review // El_12.15-12.45pm_Teach LSP // pm_Kay Library & Montesorri // Buy Dinner (or Left-overs) // dh /mil Fetch Ky_ 6.30pm // Eve_Kay Chinese_7.30-9pm = *Me-time*

Wed: 10.30am-12noon_Ky Malay Class // am_Kay Spelling T // pm_Kay Early Readers, Poetry and Prose Copywork, Journal or Letter-writing // Cook Dinner // El_Gym_4-5pm  *Eve_free*

Thurs: El_12.45-1.15pm_Teach LSP // pm_Kay's Playdate // Buy Dinner (or Left-overs)  *Eve_free: dh-time_arrange w mil*

Fri: am_Ky PAL_10.30am // El_Gym_11.30-12.30 // am_ Kay Math Book of Sums  & Spelling Games// pm_Kay Geography, Science, Art n Craft // Cook Dinner //  *Eve_free // dh on course_Boardgames/ Popcorn/ Movie-nite_me & e kids*

Sat: 10.30-11.30am_Swim Class Ky & Kay // pm_ Scouts Ky & Kay // *pm to eve_Alt wks me & dh have 1:1 dates w Ky & Kay 'on their own'* // 5.15-6pm_Kay Ballet/Or/10.45-11.45?

Sun: Church + Family Fun Day + Visit Grandma // *Eve_Dh-time*

**Other: Weekdays_Ky Malay Rdg & Review (Kay to join for Malay Rdg)

***More: Weekdays_Kay Ballet // (Piano)

How does our little boy eat his Christmas lunch?

-Roast Chicken:  'No Thanks' to the gravy, but 'Yes Please!' to Fruity HP Sauce and a healthy sprinkling of ground black pepper and garlic.

-Celery, Mushroom and Onion Stuffing: 'Thank Goodness Mum forgot!' :>

-Roast Potatoes: With HP Sauce and his nose blocked of course!

-Broccoli and Corn: No HP Sauce, but yes, block the nose and don't release it until all's been washed down with some bubbly grape juice!

-Sausage and Bacon Rolls: The only yummy thing on the menu for him that day ;)

-Non-alcoholic Fruit Juice Bubbly: Saved the day for my darling little fusspot!

*Lasting memory... spoon laden with broccoli and corn, heading for his pouty lips, nose pinched shut..... eyes closed, chew swallow, grab the bubbly, gulp, eyes open up again twinkling...  my darling funny boy!  i cdnt help but burst out laughing... leaving you quite perplexed! you funny funny little boy!  so quirky yet amazing! :b

kids are asleep, dh asleep, even e cat is deep deep asleep... and me? me?...

aaah, me!... well i just caught e last of e survivor series... reclining on e sofa with twinkling Christmas lights merrily illuminating my glass of white wine. oh, and did i mention the bowl of cheese ruffles (those yummy 'corrugated crisps' that hold the flavour so well!) ah, now the 2 go very well together, esp on a hot and stormy night! 

but alas, i didnt realise it was an extraordinary combination...  10puffs and an asthma attack later (in reverse order of course)... and soon i was well enuff to continue with some dark chocolate instead :>

ah, the joys of life! :))

"now watch this carefully... see, i have a coin in this hand.... now my body's gonna wobble like this, and it's gonna through to the other hand.  now it's in this hand right, so i rub it against this elbow and it's gonna travel up to the other hand right?... but look, now it's gone!"

guess who's into magic rt now! ;)

"i was the prettiest, littlest girl there tonight!" :)

...said with an authoritative smile as we walked to the carpark after the indian wedding... and yes, she did look rather sweet with her long braided hair and bright pink sequinned suit matched with little golden heels.  ...but i guess no-one had told her so... whichh is why she thought she should inform us ;)

"aaargh! i cant believe the uni!...they gave them an *a* while i got a *b*!...can u believe it! ....i did most of e project work in our group and she doesnt even see it! ....she just cant tell!!! ....aaargh, it doesnt matter now!"

poor darling, i really know he worked so hard helping e others to improve their content because he felt it just wasnt up to scratch.... put in so many extra hours doing their share.  now he's the one who gets no recognition :(   poor darling...dunno what i'd have done in that situation...  (actually i do... i certainly wdnt have kept quiet!)

so many reasons rt now to be thankful!... i feel like my life is truly full and brimming over! thank you thank you thank you to the great one who provides the joys, the sorrows and the gladness~

-i am thankful for God's timing...  a couple of days ago i spotted 2 large ikea bookshelves on sale. i managed to snap them up, and the rest is history... they arrived ard 9pm/  the kids stayed up until 11pm transferring their books and keepsakes/ i stayed up until 4am re-arranging and deep-cleaning their bedrooms/ the extensions and an foc set of little shelves were all put to good use/ i went to bed a happy mama!

-more of God's timing... dh came back from nz a few hrs later. and the 'new' clean and tidy rooms were shown off to him with great fanfair!

-i am thankful for a thoughtful dh... he brought me back 4 gifts. what a surprise! i opened one... a shell and bead necklace (which kynan had already taken a peak at while i was sleeping ;))  the others are waiting under the tree for Christmas day.  :)

-i am thankful that we get 2nd chances with kids. that we're not all perfect...but if we care about each other, then little changes here and there can mean a lot...  new 'house rules' were introduced in dh' absence. mostly relating to kindness, respect, and cleaning up after ourselves. nothing new really, just that they r being encouraged with a positive/negative point system. i'm not immune i've told them... and daddy included. it is working well... with the little one taking to it immediately from day 1.

-i am thankful for a dh who knows my weaknesses, and his...  what's cute is that i've 'caught' him trying to help a little on the home front lately... he bought some groceries w/o me asking, and even picked up some of his clothes off the floor. i'm enjoying it quietly ;)

-i am thankful for a dh who breezes through 'technical' problems... he got our phoneline/ internet connection fixed pronto.   they both went down yesterday w/o any warning,  then tonight wen i got back they were functioning again... new box from singtel solved the problem. bravo! (it wd prob hv taken me a week to get it sorted!)

-i am thankful for my beautiful caring children....  yesterday my ticker was giving me problems. no meds for it so no choice but to go and lie down. ky was so sweet. i had to put him in charge of getting kayla fed and bathed. he managed both...and in a very cool, calm, grown-up manner...a side of him i've not really seen since he went to school.

overheard through a closed bedroom door...  "kayla, have u got any food in your mouth?  ...ok, pls have another mouthful.  ...that's a good girl. quickly finish your food so we can go and bath."  

he *never* speaks to her like that anymore... more like a playful schoolmate instead.  so it was *very* nice to hear him take control. i even manged to drift asleep for a while. and wen i awoke, my ticker was fine and i was ready for some toast b4 putting them to bed.  the lounge floor bore evidence of craft activities and boardgames.... all of which were promptly cleaned up.  i was sooooo proud of them both for keeping themselves quietly occupied while i was down.  and especially to my big boy for taking control in such a sensible manner! tq tq tq!

-i am thankful for my health.... later that night i was able to re-arrange and sort through our entrance hall and all the schooling stuff.  no problems whatsoever! i felt energised!  i cd even move the furniture here and there until it sat just-right!  it took me until 4am (yet again)... but after it all was finished, i cd sit down with a cold coke in hand, relax in a comfy chair and survey the beautiful space  ~cool fan blowing on me and feeling completely at peace.

-i am thankful for family traditions...  the kids put up the tree yesterday, and tday they emptied all the decorations from their year-long slumber. what a treat to watch them find the perfect place for each and every one, marvelling at it's beauty.

and to think that this was the same tree that kayla lay beneath as a newborn baby...hidden amongst the gift-wrappings, staring up at the twinkling lights on christmas morning. and here she is now, reaching up to put those very baubles on the uppermost branches~

and ky's response?... "it's so short mum! i used to look up at it way above me!..."   he cd hardly believe how much he had grown! ... so now i've had to put it on top of an upturned trolley-box... to make it *appear*  that much taller again :)

next year he says we shd get a real one.  i guess that wd be a good idea... then it can grow *with* them* :b

-i am thankful to the family who raised me. a lot of whom i am today, is because of them.

-i am thankful to friends who step out of their comfort zone...  who open their homes and lives to us... who show us a different side to what the rest of the world may know...  who trust enough to let go... who share the good and the bad... who make us feel like we're human too. 

i am thankful for friends who don't make snap judgements based on perfect ideals. i am thankful for friends who allow us to be ourselves.  i am thankful for fun and engaging company in this strange land.

-i am thankful for the privilledge of good food... for the delicious meringues we had today.  for the fun log-cakes...  and all prepared with love... u just can't beat home-made food!.. i am thankful that we have never needed to go without.

-i am thankful for living, beautiful green spaces....  we were recently blessed with a host of plants from a good friend. tq tq!!! our corridor now looks so lush and welcoming. the kids say it's like coming home to a jungle. for me it's like opening e door to africa.... and all e memories of fantastic times we had outside as a kid...  i am thankful to be entrusted with a growing brood of jungle kids!

-i am thankful for the privilege of living in the company of animals.  they bring great joy and fun and friendship into a home.  they offer unconditional love and sweetness.  kayla has been swept off her feet by furry 4-legged creatures, so-much-so that she "cant wait to grow up and be an animal doctor."  i wish we could have a house and garden full of them... ah, like my growing-up years... but it's not to be in this hole in the sky. so for now i'm thankful for those animals who do come through our door.... and for our dear cat, tiger, who came to us one day i nthe rain, as a scrawny, starving little kitty... he won our hearts then, and he still does today! tq darling for putting up with us!

-i am thankful for my kids who show me innocence, love and childlike wonder... who continue to love me inspite of all my shortcomings.

-i am thankful for a hubby who balances me so completely... who helps me accept the different ways and values of others... just by being himself and by being so completely different.  may i always appreciate that difference, and the tolerance it creates.

-i am thankful to my creator for giving me an overwhelming sense of peace, purpose and joy.  and for this unending love in my heart, that stretches further than i ever thought possible. the layers have been peeled back and my eyes see more now than i ever thought possible.  may i be humbled in his purpose.

-i am thankful for toast and butter... simple food that fills a hungry tummy... (which is where i'm off to now!)

the big boy has been cooped up in school for 1whole year... can you believe it!...1whole year has already passed!!!

so what better way to celebrate than to get out-n-about, and meet up with good old friends :b  ...the holidays have been such fun so far... in fact, it hardly feels like they've stopped playing! (which is as it should be!)

-dh was out-country for 10days, and the day b4 he departed, i hurriedly organised a pizza and pasta night with sleep-over. soon after he left, the house was humming. the wine had been chilled... and the ribena too! :>   it was a yummy evening with great company and lots of laughs.

...a very special day to celebrate a year of good friendships, and even more years that had already passed.  it was fun to just chill and know the kids were safely occupied.

the littlies mostly kept to kay's room, while e big kids kept quietly occupied in e big boys' den...(no adults allowed!)    ard 15 were there, and there were 8 of us snuggled up that night. they fitted nicely between the 2rooms, so i had my livingroom free to finally catch up with my choc mud cake and a beautiful south african white wine.  and later, the kingsize bed was calling loud and clear!... "i'm all yours!" :b 

the kids had a blast!  

BUT ..."OI!... who brought in the sugar?" ...

the bedrooms are a no-go for food, as we live beside a bunch of trees.  for the 1st time in 11yrs i had visions of ants and cockroaches crawling over us in the night while we slept... eeeks!  i discovered a liberal sprinkling of sugar on kay's bedsheets the nxt day, ...and a sugar-coated floor beneath ky's bed *10days later!*  thank goodness dh was still out of town.!..

but only 5hrs to spare b4 his return!...so after re-arranging furniture, i was up until 4am wiping and re-wiping on my sticky hands and knees...  the ants had moved in, but they had a steady supply of food, so found no need to wander lol!  :D   ...a lucky break for me!  ...now i'm checking tne corners for tea, coffee and milo!   the crazy crazy things they get up to! ... sweet memories are made of these!!! :b

-kayla had a very special treat after that sleep-over....  a lil friend and her mummy stayed over for a few more days. i kept it a surprise for her~and she was thrilled to bits!  girls do play soooo nicely together! (and kynan thought she was "so sweeeet!".  very cute to hear and watch their interactions... and to have another warm little hand reaching out to me in the darkness, and a little wee voice asking for a hug when i least expect it.  a very special little girl indeed!

-the next fab 'happening' was a little pal's b'day party. as always these r the most fun fun times for kids.  they dont really need organised activities.  all they need is each other's company and some space to be themselves. even food did not feature very highly on their list that day... until the eye-catching 'lolly-tree' came out! :D  definately the highlight of the day!

-before we knew it, we were rushing home to pack for ubin. tiger went to his bishan hotel, and feasted to his heart's content 3x a day!... the fish were left to fend for themselves. and that they did well!  upon my return i hunted high and low for any left-over food debri in the bottom of the tank. noe. so i figured they'd finished it. when i fed them they wriggled and gobbled like mad.  poor fishies!

later upon unpacking and tidying the livingroom, i found them  ....still in their wrappers on the dining table...3solid fishfood, untouched. (of course!)   does that amount to animal cruelty?  none died thankfully... in fact the black suckerfish seems to have almost doubled in size?!     i must have been really sctter-brained that day!  well if you'd seen what we'd packed then you cd probably understand why...  here's a sampling...

-3 sleeping bags, 3 little pillows, 2 picnic mats, 3 swim towels, sand toys, kickboard, armbands, water-shooters, goggles, swimsuits, caps, sunglasses, sunblock, mozzie spray, toiletries, make-up, sponge and dish-soap, ky's meds, el's meds, first-aid kit, 4 sets of clothes each, swimsuits, videocam, 1 bk each for the 3 of us, boardgames, toy cars, crayons and colouring sheets, h/p and chargers, a rice-cooker full of macaroni cheese for 2 days' dinner, bacon sandwiches, ham sandwiches, hotdogs, milk, cheese slices, seaweed, a loaf of bread and extra buns, loads of pkt drinks and some crisps and choccies for the adults :) 

to say that we were overloaded wd be an understatement, but it was all well-utilised, :)  and God blessed us with gentlemen to load and unload the speedboats when we needed them most.  a big tq to e generator repairman who carried the heaviest bag all the way to the bus-stop for me.  it was past lunchtime, almost dinnertime, and the kids were hungry and sleepy and sunburned... i cdnt have made it otherwise! a good samaritan indeed!

-talking of sunburn, kynan's back is now peeling like a snake. eeee! i so wish he'd had his shirt on!

-his one friend from school had been hassling to visit us almost every day since the holidays started, so we finally met him at the playgrd one day, then he came over the next for a playdate. he was a little live-wire...all over the place.  full of energy and passion abt what he wanted to do and when.

at the end of the playdate, it was clear that he really didnt want to go home. "so boring", he said. "only my helper there. daddy out. mummy out." ...so he called his mum with a request for "1 more hour".  after that, it was another half-hour... and then he went with ky downstairs to meet his helper who was to have walked him home. instead, he came back upstairs within minutes, wanting to call his mum and send his helper home so that he "cd stay for dinner"...!  any other day i mt hv agreed, but that day i simply didnt have enuff food for another mouth... i'd fed him all our bread and snacks already.  we were just back from ubin uc, so the fridge was bare... what's more, it was 'spanish omelette' on the menu...not what most local kids wd fancy? :>

i had a stack of washing-up to do, kids to feed, a cat to feed, +bathtime, bedtime stories, and a house to get in order b4 dh returned.  it didnt help that the refrain "gimmee, gimmee, gimmee...!" had been resounding through every room in our house since he'd 1st arrived. and that coupled with snatching and over-agressive voab left me feeling quite exhausted.   BUT we'll have him back...albeit in a neutral environmnt like a playgd or library ;)

he's a cute kid, very worldly-wise. he's been left alone quite a lot while growing up, so he's learned how to get what he wants in the quickest way possible. (by devious method or by demand)   it's kind-of sad that it's been allowed to go on so long.  but then we all have different thresholds of what we can tolerate and what we cant. (sometimes we tolerate more in our own kids, sometimes we tolerate more in others)  but tolerance is very much about creating a more peaceful world.  and our own backgrounds will affect how we manage our own homes... whether we're too lenient, too strict, or somehow able to find a balance between the two.  more often than not, many of us cd be blamed for swinging wildly between the opposite extremes.  so our children's behaviour fluctuates just as wildly. 

it's not always easy to find the good in other's kids... unlike our own who're our own flesh and blood... but they grow on you the more u mix with them.  they're all God's creations. he loves them unconditionally and he bares no grudges.  children are remarkable in that way too. they bare no grudges. they argue and make up a split-second later...then become irritable again, only to suggest a new game a few minutes down the road.  what about us as parents?  do we love others' kids as our own?  do we feel that same deep affection when they are in our company?  today with the deluge of working parents, it's all the more important that we who have the freedom, reach out and touch the lives of those children in our midst... and that they get the love and attention they crave... and providing them a safe environment to do so. 

we can even reach out to those kids who may be hard to like at times... those who crave attention for all the 'wrong' reasons... let's offer them a smile, a word of encouragement, some praise, and mn gentle guidance to another pathway when they set foot in danger.  because deep down they're actually sweet sweet kids... thrown in at the deep-end, and with all sorts of strengths and skills that we might not notice at 1st.  they sometimes just need someone to help shine the light on them. 

my good friend who dropped by that day... e kiddo that was so full of demands... was innocent in the world that he'd created. he had no idea that his behaviour was making it hard for *me* to like him. (until he offered to help me with the washing-up. :))   yet my son liked him all along *inspite* of his attitude... he found a way around that, to get to the 'good' side of him. and that was a good example to me.  

and on the upside, by the end of the day, "gimme gimme... gimme that card," ...had become:  "would you like to exchange that card of yours, for one of my nice silver cards?"  and to his delight, kayla actually agreed!

this little guest certainly required the most attention out of all ky's friends, both past and present. but i can totally understand why.  it was a good way for e kids (and me) to learn patience, and also gain practice in expressing our needs and wants in a clear and polite manner. :)  

times like this really open my eyes to how grateful i am for my own kids. they are not perfect, but inspite of all their problems and irritations i actually enjoy being around them.  and it makes me appreciate their old h/s friends too... that with mums home with their kiddoes for a large part of their early lives, it's a whole lot easier to mould their behaviour and be that positive guiding influence in their lives. 

yes we mess up at times, but our kids need our attention. they need to feel loved. yes, in spite of how much we mess up!... they still need us there to guide them, and sometimes just to 'be'.  they crave our attention. and if we're not there, they'll seek that attention elsewhere. 

it's easy to let go and trust... but we aslo need to remember that the situations we put our kids in, need to be age-appropriate.   wd i want my kids alone with a schoolmate at a stranger's house, alone with a helper and their mate, alone with their pal at the top floor of a carpark playing ball, or cooped up with a pal and his big brother playing tv games?... it's so easy to say 'yes', but at what cost?  it's dawned on me clearly, that as our kids grow older and spend more time with their friends, esp outside of school, we really need to know those friends... and their families too! 

but with so many mums working nowadays...(more so in neighbourhood schools) i think it's going to be an uphill task.... 

so here's to playdates and the blossoming of new friendships~ and the maturing of old! :)

all about me change is happening... 

my life seems a total bore in comparison.

i have become consistent... so predictably predictable in my roles, predicatable in my expectations, and predictable in my actions and their outcomes. predicatble in my home-life, and predictable in my relations.  even the spur-of-the-moment things i sometimes do, have become so predictable to me.   councillor, teacher, comforter.  many hats but the same role. empty vessel or_

channel.  it's been a year of challenge, a year of discovery, a year of trying to radiate peace and consistency through the storms.  i' can see now there have been changes.... i've been molded to be less reactionary....

changes within rather than without.

letters have been written.... carefully, and with great precision.  and they've been on my desk for over a month already.

kay asked for a "pretend guinea pig".  (..."i must write 'pretend, else he might give me a real one!" she added.)

while ky asked for a "very very very long long long rope".  ("maybe i should tell him i'm a boy.... incase he gets me a pink one!" :))

it's going to be a 'cheap' Christmas! :)))

our boy is so funny... brought home 2 of his exams today and i cdnt help but smile...

he's cracked the silly mistake-making for math... only to transfer that knack to english! can't believe he read some of the questions just half-way then jumped to his own conclusions about the rest!... silly monkey!

at the start of this year ky was browsing early-readers_or what might be called 'level3'.  they had ard 10-15pgs with a colour picture on every page.  back then although he was capable, he never read unless i asked him to. but these last few months have seen a phenomenal change.  he'll now occassionally pick up a book on his own, and they avg 200/300pg's.

looking back, i didnt know how to help him along.  so all i did was try to stock up on some exciting books and leave them lying around in different rooms... and jam-pack his bookshelf...in the hope that he'd start picking them up.

he did!

well he had to!... because he was required to bring a book to school every day for silent reading in the hall. he hated it to begin with... not the reading, but having to sit still cross-leeged on the floor for so long. it gave him cramps in his legs, followed by pins and needles. so he asked me to take him to school as late as possible. (which i did... but some days i had lsp readg club, so no choice but to take him there early.) and without him knowing, it slowly paid off. :)

but i never knew it was working until the last month...when i realised he was picking up the thicker books and had actually got some way into them.   and here i'd spent the last year stocking up on good readers for ky *to grow into*.  thinking they'd last him until he was 9 or 10. 

somehow it's been a good year for secondhand books at and above his level...

-a couple of scout friends kindly passed on their precious reads... these included favourites such as black beauty, robin hood, heidi, moby dick etc

-i've also been buying some enid blyton books on and off, but these have not yet been touched.

-we were fortunate to find out about a book exchange program run by ikea a little while ago. the kids had loads of books by then, but i thought it wd be a good opportunity to 'upgrade' some of their older readers from when they were younger. (it was very very hard for ky to let go of his books, but fortunately he did when he saw what he cd exchange them for!)  well he came back with another peter pan, and another treasure island (he insisted they were different stories to the ones he already had ;))  another pirate book he found was 'kidnapped'. (these stevenson bks are both likely going to wait until he's older... e subject matter scares him to bits...esp the odd picture of skull n bones!) well he also found another black beauty, and an oliver twist. 2 slim fantasy books about dragons, will probably soon find their way into his schoolbag. :)

-not long ago i was fortunate enough to get a bunch of hardcover classics from a friend: robinson crusoe, the 3 muscateers,  white fang, gulliver's travels, last of the mohicans, war of the worlds and a few others i forget the names of.  these books followed in the footsteps of swiss family robinson, which we'd started as a bedtime reader earlier in the year.  it was all in old english, so we cdnt do too much at a time as i wanted them to understand the vocab.  it was a wonderful read that we all very much enjoyed.... (the only complaint from kayla at the beginning, was that there were no pictures... as compared with our previous night-time classic: alice in wonderland.) but she wd quietly listen in while drinking her milk... stopping every now and then to ask what a certain word or phrase meant...

-other finds were a bunch of little house on the prairie books. we started the 1st about a week ago. (i'm surprised actually, considering robinson crusoe etc are still sitting unread... but perhaps he wants a change.)   kayla's happy because finally she has the odd picture to look at ;))  and kynan finds it gripping.... all talk about red indians, tepees, wild animals and unchartered country.  he can hardly believe how simply e first settlers used to live...and how clever the dad was to build his own log-house from scratch!   the wolves were rather scarey for him though...so i expect he might stop reading 'white fang' for a while ;)  i guess 'white rabbit' to 'white fang' is a bit of a leap!

i could never read more than 1or2 books at a time when i was a kid, but he 's not following suit... presently it's liitle house on e prairie at night, tom sawyer & white fang in his free time, and nim's island in his schoolbag.

he says he's got the best library that any kid could have... (i wish i'd had one like that when i was a kid!!!)  he tells me he's gonna keep them all until he's grown-up. :)   (~will have to see if i can sneak some out for kayla in a few years! :))

kids were exhausted tonight.... both asleep by 9.30pm.  and why?

i had them out from 9+ this morning, til 8.30 tonight. thankfully i stopped by mil's house to bath them, else they wd hv bn too zonked to move! so here i am with time to ponder the day... ;-)

today was a nice day. it should have turned bad but we never let it.  we went to a new church, and all 3 of us found e ppl there to be very welcoming. it's small but quite cosy in a way. seeing neighbours from our blk there helped us know where to go and get e kids settled. amazingly kayla was fine on her own, no questions asked. she's really growing up! i think we shall probably try it out again a few more times... it's convenient too cos it's so close-by. i also like the fact that they get the kids involved in things like operating e powerpoint, cd-players etc on a rota basis. it really gives them a sense of ownership.

the other highlight of e day was an orchestral opera performance by nanyang at e esplanade. we chanced upon it in passing... and as it was free, we decided to hang around and give it a go. i'm surprised e kids lasted the full hour... and pleased too!  kynan says he liked e harp the most. and a male/female couple who sang a duet love-song. kayla liked that one too. i had too many favourites! in fact i was quite astonished by the standard of the performance... most encouraging. (the only one that i felt was not quite up to standard were the flamenco dancers, seemingly tagged on just for show. their part in the opera was barely audible too, which was more of a technical issue.) but the rest was fantastic!  the audience were very appreciative too. (my kids hv never clapped that loud! :b)

the next 'beautiful sunday performance' is on e 15th nov at 5pm and e kids hv already asked me to make it a date!  :)  this reminds me of the good old days when i used to attend oh-so-many such events in the uk during my work -and student-days. such events were either free, or pay-what-you-want.

but since getting married and shifting out here, that's one side of me that hasn't really had opportunity to be fulfilled.  (mostly cost being a factor/ and timing too_ once kids came along.)  but today i remembered how much i really enjoyed it!!    and something else about today has given me a tremendous sense of peace.  i dont know exactly what did it... but although so much nonsense was going on ard us, i never let it get to me.  not the slightest bit of anger or irritation. it really just washed rt over without me even trying. (which is a new experience for me! i usually have to try veeery hard not to be irritated by certain stuff ;))

"be wise and walk on... seal it. keep it safe within you..." a translation of Daniel today that somehow covered me and gave me immense peace, both within myself and while being with my kids... i'm thankful for it.   perhaps this is the word that will get me through... i thank God for the peace in me and the peace in the kids, to just go out and be... and enjoy each other's company...while the storm was raging around us. 

i wish i had more time with ky... to read, to talk, to play whatever games he wants me to. ... to just be there.

it's bn so different since he's been in school. so hard to build on the relationship.

so much time in a  day...yet so little time for *us*.  has it been worth it?

the year is almost up...  and what has *being part of the system* done for us???

-academically, i see negligeable progress. (and in written english a noticeable decline.)

-physical & creative input, almost non-existant.

-science and nature interaction, minimal.

-malay, #@*6#@# ... after a year of daily classes, he is still unable to string a sentence together on his own. (and the class size is small. mb 12 kids)  cd he hv achieved more if we'd had a tutor come to our home? cd he achieve more this coming year if we did just that? 

on the up-side...

-he shows a growing interest and ability in reading. exposure at school is positive.

-social skills, have blossomed.  he is forging, breaking and keeping new relationships independently of us.

presenlty it's hard to tell if the negatives outweigh the positives. 

how long will i wait to see if it rights itself?

if my other half agreed with me (and if ky was willing)  then i'd probably call it quits at the end of this year... and just do what i know best... but i am not him and he is not me....

a *year out* would be nice...   it wd certainly give him time to catch up with his malay.... a big bugbear at present.  and just think of all the things we could do!!!

but i'm talking myself in circles. and that's not a good way to get anywhere!...

so i'd better go and do something more constructive :)

have we done enuff prep for the exams?  no!

am i terribly bothered?

no!

;-)

these last few days e boy has been to gym, visited e library, had me play cardgames with him, watched tv at his leisure, accompanied his sister to montessori, been out with us for lunch & dinner, had time to play yo-yo to his heart's content, - to spend an hour in the bathtub, and even -to tidy his room!

yet we got some work done too...

we'd planned for 2 papers a day_ to review eng, maths and malay. unfortunately we only got 1 set for malay to last us e whole week...?  (if we'd had more, our time wd hv bn much better spent there instead, but oh well, schools think differently to homeschoolers ;))  none-the-less, we picked up another few pages today.  he finished them during kay's p/g.  3 more hrs were spent playing ball with a mate, and swinging back and forth on e monkey-bars... much to the little-ones' delight.   he looked soooo happy! and soooo relaxed....  a very nice sight after so long.

school really takes up way too much time doesnt it?   so it wdnt feel right me keeping him home cooped up all week... although i'm sure 99% of the sane population wd be.  ;) and their results wd probably reflect that?  

we're off to see e 'meatballs' movie tmw. kay will hv rdg club. and ky will enjoy his freedom!  freedom to run and laugh and play to his heart's content. :b 

...and if we're lucky, still hv time for a few problem sums when we get home ;-)