to my dear little girl,

tomorrow u will be four.

today, as we walked along to gym, u said very earnestly to me, "mama, do u know i am turning 4 in my sleep tonight?"  "yes", i answered. u were silent awhile, then without looking up, u quietly asked "mama, will u hold my hand?" i was surprised by your request...

it seems my dear, that u are a little unsure about what "turning 4" actually entails :)

but with some prodding, this is what i got out of u:

-"i'll be turning about while i'm sleeping, round and round. mb the bunk-bed too... and mb the ceiling!"

-"i'll be counting how many times. it must be 4, but mb it will be 8 or 10! then i'll be 10 years old!"

-"mama, if u sleep on the top of the bunk-bed and it turns around and around, then you'll turn older also... mb you'll turn 32!... cos yr not 32 yet", u added.  :-b (u sweet child, actually i'm way past that!)

-"as i'm counting, my mouth will turn crooked like this, it will turn and turn while i'm counting. i hope it doesnt stay like that!" (and u proceeded to demonstrate how many different angles it cd get caught in!)

after all this talk, i assured u again and again, that tonight will be like any other night, and that you're unlikely to feel any different. 

still, before lights out, yr not qt convinced, and ask again... "mama, tonite i will *turn* 4 rt? and u will hold my hand?" 

u put specific emphasis on *turn*... and that's when it struck me... u saw this "turning 4" event, like some kind of magic-trick... "abracadabra, i wll 'turn' you into a mouse/ a house/ a tiger!"... the kids used to play this game when kay was much younger... thinking up the silliest things they cd "turn" their sibling into... "abracadabra, u are an apple, a truck" etc, or trying to out-do each other with more and more menacing animals. "u are a biting ant, scorpion, cobra, mountain lion, dinasuar!"...  so remembering these silly games while pondering over yr very real "turniing 4" prediicament... i suddenly realise why u want me to hold yr hand when the "turniing" bit happens toniite...  :)

sleep well my precious... in 10 minutes you wiill turn...not into a pumpkin, nor a toad, nor a mouse... but into a more lovely princess than u already are... a princess that's merely a few hours older.

u are the sweetest thing that ever came into our lives. keep telling us yr little stories, shaking us up with your funny twisted jokes, and melting our hearts with your shy smiles and gentle, nurturiing actions.  we all love you dearly!  Happy Biirthday my love!