ah, my little girl is growing up!... tonite i sat on e comfy chair at granny's, relaxing after a long day out.

she promptly came over and sat 'horsy-style' on my one leg. after a little while, she lay her head back against my chest, and just relaxed her whole body against me.  it was so sweet to have her there awhile...too tired to feed herself, so nibbling bits of chicken from my fingers, while leaning back listening to conversation...every now and then opening her mouth like a little bird, for another morsel of food.

when i got home and put her to bed, she drifted off almost immediately...completely exhausted by her busy day.

as i later stood washing a pile of dirty dishes, i realised that this was the 1st time, in a long long time, that she'd climbed up to my lap to just "be".

it was so nice to have her close like that... a really pleasant memory already...and just hoping there'll be more :)

and ky? oh i wish he'd still come sit on my lap sometimes!... perhaps it's something i shd help bring about ;)

e hols hv exposed ky to a diff style of learning again...

e migraines hv left completely for now... ie no more yelling to bear with at school = no more dizziness, pain, puking = no more trouble trying to sleep at night = no more need for pain-meds.  so on the one hand i'm a happy mummy!

his friends in school are a bonus... e interraction w girls... e feeling of independence_all perks. his teachers seem sweet. they're young and mostly dont have kids yet from what i've heard. that in itself has it's pluses and minuses... ;)  e school has a sound moral platform for e kids. e assemblies and Bible talks, are all part of what i want my kids to grow up with...

he said b4 that he really liked school.  he's made some really really close friends.  (and this was inspite of e err 'disciplinarian' style)  he was so sick at times, yet he refused to stay home and miss out on p/e or art, his fav subjects. 

but e downside_ e sports are soooo lacking. he wishes they'd do more 'challenging' stuff, be more creative with games, and learn some 'proper' sport.  "when will we get a chance to go out on a field mama?...to run, to play football."  he's become soooo unfit since p1 started. thank goodness for e hols!... else he'd still be a lazy lump on e sofa!  now at least he's got some muscles back ;) 

a biggy for me: after reading some of his classwork during e hols, i realise that e level of english is qt disheartening. it's been a big step backwards for ky. it seems to me that perhaps expectations r qt low, so he doesnt bother to deliver. and unless the teachers know the child's background, they wd be none-the-wiser. ...and art...? (my other pet-peev!)_hey, i'm a designer after-all!...and i see in ky a prolific draw-er...just as i was. so if we counted the actual art hours in school, i'd probably cry! 

i feel like he's there for so many hrs each day all week, but missing out~ so do i go with the flow?   am i short-changing him? 

yes and no?

-english, arts & sports: no challenge rt now./ -class discipline: e opp extreme./ -math: ok / -malay: more assistance needed but_? 

art and sports can be made-up in our own time. e hols hv shown me this.  so i'm not too worried...

but english? what will be the longterm effect?...ie seemingly  'dumbing-down' a kid's writing to meet the 'class-standard'... might it not make a kid believe that he need only give something so simplistic in order to just get by? ie not his best effort.

as a teacher, i've seen this to be particularly so with boys. (for those who are capable, unless the ballmark is set high,  they wd be qt contented to just sail through / under-achieve) 

so now i'm aware of this, my worry is not just for ky, but for kay too.

she wants to go to this same school, to be with her big brother...

her standard of english has been much higher rt from e start... she's shy, but she's so very capable.  so after seeing where ky's at rt now, i'm really starting to doubt whether this school wd be a v good fit for her.  i think she needs a higher level, most certainly for english.

and kynan?...can his teacher/ school offer higher-level learning/ tasks for those who r more able in english (such as what they do for mother-tongue?) 

someone shared with me from moe, that it was for english that this style of teaching 1st came about, but that it's mother tongue that has seemingly put it into action...

it's something i probably hv to find out directly from his school... but i so hate to rock the boat.

what a conundrum!

oh yes, and if it's not enuff to hv e enticing home-learning option b4 his eyes, he's now grumbling abt having to wear the mask to school :(

....so what is e lesser of e two evils my dear child? _wearing a mask?/ or landing in hospital?

baby steps, baby steps...

so nice to be remembered on my b'day. got sms's, email, n so many well-wishes on facebook.  (alas, cdnt even respond to the facebook ones, as for some reason my computer wont let me log in rt now ...not protected?.

so a big tq to those special ppl who remembered me! it cheered me up no end, esp cos no-one in my home remembered!  dh didnt even bother with anything, but i cant blame him...with e h1n1, he's bn having v early mornings and v long days... so a grumbly face is to be expected.... but earlier in e day, when i told e kids i got some smiles *and* a b'day song from ky. "tq my boy!" ... out of tune mb, but it melted my heart :)

am getting old now n dont really bother w remembering my age... (do i really want to?)  it's ky who kps reminding me! :b  but i still wd like some kind of celebration... so we went to swensons for e free icecream... e kids were sure to enjoy it!

and as i didnt want to cook that nite, we shared a pizza too!  i'd wanted some peppery meatballs 4 starters but they ended up tasting like dogfood...all grissly and yucks... i cdnt even force myself to eat them! so with my appetite ruined... i plumped for chocolate pecan pie instead! :) how can someone not cheer up after such a treat?....and e sticky-chewy-chocolate icecream w caramel sauce was just what i needed.  waited for dh to join us, but he had to work late, so e kids and i celebrated alone.

nxt day i bought some cute cupcakes for e playgrp to share... it was most opportune too!... as we did e story of e lost sheep, and how e shepherd rejoiced with his neighbours wen he found it.... so we had a party too! :)  e kids were in their element!

and my best b'day present? it was my only one... a dear friend who washed my dishes while i taught e co-op. tq dear! yes i asked u not to, cos u know how uncomfortable it makes us mummies feel.. but as it was my b'day, i thot i'd just get on with teaching and enjoy e special priviledge. :)  u really dont know how happy u made me! tq!

after e p/g kids had left, i hurriedly cooked dinner, then ran out to grab some cold drinks, with e kids in e bath.  it was bliss to sit and enjoy a delicious curry-n-rice n coke, happy in e knowledge that i cd later put e kids and myself to bed w/o having to get up again for chores! 

so e best bits abt growing older....?

-being surrounded by wonderful friends!...

-and having a hard-working hubby who loves e kids to bits!

now is so *not* e time to be ill~

we got back from melaka and e kids n i proceeded to get sore throats n runny noses, 1 after another. nothing serious...just enuff to be irritating...

and what's even more irritating to me is that i actually developed a sore red rose from all e abrasive tissue-rubbing... something i've not had since England-time more than 10yrs ago!

and usually when i get sick, it'll strike fast n furious, n i'll be over with the worst in max 2-4days. the same with the kids. ...but this time it's just like an irritating cold that keeps coming n going.

and ya, what a great time to be sick! with the h1n1 on everyone's lips, it's obviously bugging me bigtime too!  so here we've bn home with mild fluey symptoms for 7+days...and i kp asking e ppl in-the-know... "izzit possible it cd be?"

well app not....  they say that if it were, then a fever shd have shown up by now.

so i'm thankful, really i am!... but still stressed.

kay seems fine now, but ky's sore throat is back, and he seems to be having sinusitis from this morning. poor thing, it got him crying so i know it must hv been bad. i had to massage it constantly to finally get him to sleep tonight. ... and at the same time that i was trying to calm him, i was doing my utmost to focus my breathing through an asthma attack, and try hard not to cling too tightly at my bothersome heart palpitations. :( 

dh was still awake in the livingroom when i finally got out... it was a much-needed sense of calm that exuded from him...just by being there, quielty watching tv.   funny that... any other time it wd probably have irritated me! ;) 

well, i told him what e doc said abt ky wearing a mask to school. his reply: dont take e risk. i'm glad we were on the same page.  i really wish though that i cd just h/s them both and not hv to worry abt all this... it really is giving me so so so much stress.

"why worry?..." so many ppl say.

 "it's nothing, ....just hv proper hygiene". 

if it was their kid who ended up breathless everytime urti came ard...with reaction time down to a day, and a&e becoming the standard, rather than the exception... /if it was their kid who had a *high risk* of being e  "one in a 1,000" to die from this... then how wd they feel?  how wd they feel each time their kid steps into a shopping cntr, a train, a lift? ..each time their kid raises a hand to touch their face...?

it's stressful. and it's so exhausting being constantly stressed like this. i hide it but it's still there.

i'm not ready either. my asthma has become so reactive. when it hits like that it's so sudden... i cant even get to my inhaler. i literally feel faint then buckle n blur.  so far dh has bn there to help me, thank goodness... but he's not ready for the worst. (i dont think he cd even carry me down t the car!)  and he wont even talk abt it. 

yes we can pray...hand it all over to God... but i'm not ready to let go. i'm not ready for anything to happen. my family is too precious to me.

i so wish we weren't here rt now, having to face this. i so wish i was somewhere far away where this has not yet come... (somehow s/africa seems a brighter option rt now. :))  what a strange twist of fate!... wish we had a little cottage there that we cd 'run away' to.  

wdnt it be great if we and our families cd just take a year out and 'dissappear'... until all this blows over...

Eeeeks, just got locked out of my own blog cos i'd forgotten the password... that's what holidays do for you!!!   thankfully i struck it lucky on about my 10th attempt! :>

ky was too exhauseted to get up for gym today, so we all had a lie in.  by noon though, i was itching to attack the mess... isnt that what saturdays are for?!

so after much shoo-ing, i finally got dh out the house with kids in tow. instructions: "pls feed them and take them somewhere to play."

and when they came back a few hrs later, the washing-up was done, the laundary was washed and drying, the toilets were fragrant, and the entrance hall looked like someone else's :)

yes, our entrance hall...it had been bugging dh for qt some time...(it's where i teach kay and her buddies) but during the last term, a whole lot of books and papers had got in a tangle. now i've finally  tidied and shifted.   

e school lsp kids' stuff has gone to a completely diff area, neatly kept in a box, basket and accordian-filing system. there's so much of it that i cd actually do with a little cupboard just to keep it all! 

on the opposite side, in the same spot but tidied up, i now have kay's books and worksheets for homeschool, playgroup, and her reading-club. on another shelf i have kynan's extra scout journals and activity bks.

our plants hv moved outside again (they gather too much dust!) and our interest table has been cleaned up to make space for our cat (who's found it to be one of his most comfy sleeping spots!)

all that remains now is for me to cart off 7 bags of goodies for 're-use' faraway, and to send off a couple of parcels to s/a.

once the kids are both in primary, i think i'm gonna hv to open up a little school somewhere so i can put all my resources to further good use :)

...and dh will most likely be veeeery happy to hv our home once again looking like a home...rather than a playschool! :)   bless his soul, he's very patient!

WITH the hot sun on my back... i feel alive!

~the last time i felt like that was laying on a towel on the beach some holiday ago.

~and long b4 that as a child i remember sitting in the sun pottering around in the soil for hours.

now in the present day i've had an achey back and body this last week. so bad that it's kept me awake at nite. i was contemplating whether i shd use the $ for osteo /or for a certain outing which ky and a pal hv bn waiting for for a long time....  cos uc nothing has helped for it...until today.  and nature was truly the best medicine!

the kids and i spent e day at e reservoir, along with a bunch of friends. we had a pleasant walk beneath the shaded tree-canopy, e kids did some 'fishing', then they dug about in e clay patch.

after handing out big balls of e squishy stuff, i sat on the grass in the sun, and fashioned a little horse and teddy-bear (kayla's wish), and then smoothed out some clay marbles that ky had made. the kids were busy modeling clay bowls and balls, and just enjoyed their time frolicing in the shallows.  i sat and sat and chatted and chatted. the sun shone warm on my back and it felt sooo goood!

then as e sun set, we washed up and had a picnic on e opposite bank, staying rt up until e dark enveloped us. 

and now, home and settled, the kids are long asleep, and i'm feeling warm and rosey and sublimely relaxed... like one would after a long swim on a hot day. if only i felt this way *every* day...

madly, truly, deeply

sublime.

hoildays

~are exhausting!

and they've only just started!

ky's migraines

~are exhausting!

and they've only just started!

thank goodness for the release of getting out...

a double-edged sword though it is~

there's a movie on the telly this sunday... 'little miss sunshine'.

i hv no idea what it's about, but i'm SURE going to be watching it!

why?

caught a clip of it... a family rolling around in a yellow 'volkswagon combi'...EXACTLY the same as the one our family drove ard in as a kid... all 10 of us!

what fond memories...esp driving to e 'berg'... (the mountains)...me sat at the back on a pile of sleeping bags, or an extra bag or box, twisting 180degrees to hold up a stack of eggs at the top of a pile of 'barang' in the 'dog-box'.... and that seemd to be for the entire journey...

now why didnt they just put them on my lap? or wd e whole pile have collapsed otherwise? :)

was just thinking... considering how much kids complain nowadays... i wonder if we all did on those long journeys? or perhaps the excitement of 'getting there' kind-of negated the discomfort.  :)

yoohoooooo!!!

little boy was jus back in school tday... after 2days mc for flu...

and discovered, much to our delight, that all exams hv been passed... yep, even malay!... :)

he surprised even himself! :b

ky brought home his malay file tonight... e 1st time in a long time. i was pleasantly surprised to see a mock-test he'd recently done on his own... clearly no translation and no help... and his result?.....26/ 50

...he passed! :)

-before J&J went back with their mummy to Taiwan, we took them for a walk and sunset dinner along e canal behind the school. we thot it wd be our last time together...  the kids had so much fun.

-as it turned out, their flight had to be delayed, so we had the good fortune of some playground time, a final trip to playgrp, and best of all: A TRIP TO THE ZOO!!! (which the girls had sooooo wanted!)  so when i heard they cdnt leave on the day they'd planned, i just knew that God had other plans :)  we left the zoo close to 7pm and arrived home ard 8pm or so. the kids (and mummies) were exhausted! thank goodeness aunty C had finished her packing the day before!

-the nxt morning we rushed through breakfast and headed for the main road... phew! ..we still had opportunity to pack them into a cab and say our final farewells, and take a few last photos of course! (kayla was too sad to go in the grp. she looked like she was going to start balling any minute... she wdnt even look up, just hid her face in my shoulder when i carried her.... awww) i knew how she felt!

these friends seemed perfect for our kids... both elder and younger ones were ard e same age, both sets played together so well. they were well-behaved and clearly well-raised. their mummy and i shared similar sentiment reg education and a few other issues. it's one of those few times in life when u just click almost from the start. and to top it off, we just lived across the road from each other!  it wd hv been so convenient to get to know each other better, and let our kids grow up a bit together... but what cd have been years more, was suddenly just a few days...that's why it was especially sad to have to let them go so soon... because of what could have been.

it's a clear reminder to really appreciate every person we meet each day, and every opportunity we have- to utilise it to it's fullest...because we really dont know what tomorrow may bring.

to our dear friends who've come and gone... we hope to see u someday! until then, keep well...

i had 'breakfast with the principal' today... it was meant as a time for parents to come and share their problems abt their children's schooling...

mine was a last-minute invite so i wasnt even on the list yet ;) but i had time b4 the mtg, to note 7 or 8 issues that i wanted to raise... some on behalf of other mums who cd not make the early hour. (yes, i was up at 6am to call mil to pls pls pls drop by to be with e kids until they woke up.

thankfully she came over (a gem she is!) ...so i was able to go!  i had to leave home at 7.15am, but. i magically had time to prep their breakfast, feed the cat, and pack kynan's recess-bag! ;))

the principal spoke for the 1st hour on one topic alone... and naughty me by then was snatching sideways glances at the teacups, the posters on the walls, the shoes and faces of the other parents...and trying desperately hard not to be too obvoius in my foot-tapping and pen-twirling. :) yes, i'm not the most patient/ focused person 1st-thing in the morning! well i survived that 1st hour, and managed to tackle a few nagging issues. the seeds ahve been sown... now lets see if they will grow and bare any fruit :)

the mtg lasted 2hrs, a little/ lot over-time i think... but most parents stayed to the end, which was very encouraging.

thereafter i managed to speak privately with the principal, and (malay  hod) about ky's present bugbear.

~some things r unlikely to come to be, due to staffing constraints... but on the upside, it seems that something will be done about purchasing lsp-type malay resources for ky. this will be helpful to use on the day he goes to school early, and perhaps even on days when their teacher is absent...? (if only they can manage to find suitable cover/ or supervision.)  i'm keeping my fingers crossed on this... but not holding my breath. ;) only when/ if it finally happens, then will we rejoice! :D

altogether a positive outcome though... so 3 hrs well-spent ;)

i took the kids swimming yesterday. another mum and her kids came too... the elder ones joined us after school...

it was so nice to just kick back and relax with ky and kay together again...something that's sorely lacking since he's bn in school. i really miss having him around for such outings...

~and tonight i really missed having him around to help me carry the groceries home!!!  (had he been there i know for sure that my load wd have bn easily halved...)

boy my arms were ready to be ripped from their sockets!  (i happened to say this aloud as i set the bags down, shook my arms out, and re-adjusted the bags...)  kay was carrying her nice *light* giant Flopsy Mopsy Bunny, along with an equally-light bag of marshmallows...  :)

"now that wont really happen, will it mama?" she asked wide-eyed, as we continued our laborious walk....

"well i dont know... it sure feels that way!...esp this left arm!" i grinned...

"no i dont think so, for sure!" came her quick response.

"will you pick it up and help me carry it home?"

"what, yr arm?"

"yes :) "

"oh, okay... ~no way!... for sure it wont happen mama!"  ~she exclaimed reassuringly :) and so we continued, grinning bemusedly to ourselves at the silliness of it all!

it seems like ages since i blogged :)   so here r some recent happenings:

-ky's cute way of spelling 'people', as in:

 "if we are kind to pepole, then thay will want to help other pepole too!"  (i thought it was too cute to correct, yes- shame on me!... so i'll leave it to his teacher ;))

-kay is presently going on about not saying the silent "e"-s that she sees around her. yes, she's trying to read!... then she'll go on and pronounce the e's at the ends of the words, and find it so funny! (it gets rather irritating after a while... ;)) but she's having fun~ so for now

-the LSP phonics-come-reading sessions that i'm doing at ky's school, are going well. group-size has grown in just a few wks, from 2 to-4 -to 7- to 10 now. they seem to be enjoying it, and some of e other volunteers hv said that e kids hv made noticeable progress. presently there are 3-4 different ability-levels between them. this is partly due to the fact that a few hv joined us late, but mostly because some dont turn up for school and end up missing qt a lot. :(  i'm hoping though that if i balance the grp teaching well, and delegate appropriately, then they'll somehow manage to catch up. 

-the LSP sessions r 3x a week, so i'm kept on my toes with the prep. on those days kay started out doing her own silent reading in a corner. but she's now requested that i pls give her some 'work' to do...so that's something else to keep me on my toes... :)  along with ensuring she has plenty of snacks in her bag to dip into!  the rest of e week we hv montessori, playgroup, reading club, and sometimes an outing or a swim. presently i'm only 'schooling' her 1 day a week 1:1.  it's a lot different to kynan's time. :)

-kynan's supplementary malay  is not really happening... he's had 1short session this term. it took a whole term to get something off the ground... then e following week his teacher was off sick. i'm not holding my breath. he says he's counted that he's missed 10regular malay classes already this term. more now with the illness and lack of substitute.... so he's had 10classes of chinese instead. (i'm not sure how helpful that is with exams just around the corner? ;))... and considering he still cant string 2 words together in his 'mother-tongue'.... but... ah well...he's enjoying it...and proud to know more than his mama! :D

-this year seems to be flying! we had an early Easter-egg hunt for Kay's playgrp on thurs. i did the Bible story in pictures. then they made crosses and spring baskets..followed by e hunt. ky and Joy's sister searched his room, while e 5littlies descended on kay's room.  if my numbers add up then they've all been found....else we'll find an ant-trail or two...so far so good.

-ky had his sports day early thurs morning. i had to get him up at 6am. i knew it wd be rather tricky, as he'd had school at e usual time on wed, so was home ard 7+pm. kay said she wanted to watch him run, so inspite of trying to fit in bath and dinner and story... i still b\got them to bed a little earlier than usual.... 8pm for kay, and half-an-hour later for ky. he woke fine the next day, but kay was terribly terribly cranky. thankfully she was ok by the time we left. dear kynan sadly told me b4 e event, that he thought his house was going to loose. "too many slow kids mum. they walk slowly for 1 part of e race instead of running", , but as it turned out, he and his 4 or 5 team-buddies won his class relay. so they each got a little gold trophy. (about which he is so so so pleased!) then two kids were chosen to run relay with a teacher from each house. it was just for fun, but again he was very thrilled to win! kay on the otherhand was rather bored by the whole thing...and sat merrily stuffing her face with seaweed!

like chalk and cheese they both are!

and me? when i'm done with teaching,  prep, and chores, i'll happily chill with 'survivor', and 'house' (which have both slowly grown on me :)) 'and csi' will also sometimes get a look-in.  dh will watch anything nad everything...and then still switch channels some-more :) e kids are more keen on "dirty jobs" and that show where the chap tries to escape from the wild.

presently we're so full of allergies over here that i'd rather escape *to* the wild! :)

it's e 1st of such things i've been to, and i wasnt qt sure what to expect...

as i sat on one of a row of chairs outside my son's classroom, i felt like a naughty little schoolgirl waiting to see the teacher.  :)  fortunately i met a little girl who'se name i knew, (the quietest in the class says ky)...and i managed to get her to chat a bit as she seemed ready to cry.  then one of ky's friend's showed up with his mum, both of whom came to his party, so we made some idle chit-chat awhile.

my turn came fast and the update was over very fast.

well, the good thing is, he's not running riot in class nor anything like that :)  he's doing well in math and english and is a very confident speaker. Ms O shared that she was amazed when he brought in some 'prompt' cards for his 1st show-n-tell, and noticed that he'd written them in nicely downsloping writing. he's shy abt things which set him apart...such as needing to take meds/ inhaler, and wd rather take these outside of the classroom, away from his classmates. she also shared that she was waiting for him to take out his 'reading strip'. knowing my son, i told her it was unlikely to happen any time soon! :b 

she also shared that he is veeeery chatty with a certain friend in his class. i thought there were 3 or 4 in his group of muskateers?...but she shared that he has a very obvious favourite...A. app they finish their work early, then chat non-stop. she said in a bemused fashion:  "i dont know what 2 kids their age can find to chat about....but they are aaaaaalways together, and they are aaaaaaalways chatting...b4 school, during recess, classtime, u name it!" 

oops, i hope he wasnt being a disruption...? "no, perfectly understandable she said... that those who function highly in English will naturally be attracted to one another and so those who can speak well will speak well to one-another rather than to those who don't say a word."  that makes sense... and i'm just grateful that she's 'enlightened' enough to see it that way. :b

but as an aside, i've told ds that perhaps he can take in a jotter and draw or write things for his 'friend' when they finish earlier ;)   ... and i'm wondering whether it mt help if the work for some of the more "highly functioning" kids cd be a little more challenging, such that they wdnt be sitting abt waiting for e rest to finish?... (or shd i just let him enjoy this r&r time?)

e malay teacher i saw in e hall. she's a sweet 21yr-old; fresh-faced, soft-spoken, and gentle in demeanour. again, kynan's very lucky to have her. we spoke for more than an hour on teaching styles ard the world, and e difficulties teachers here face, esp for lack of help in the classrooms. we also shared our concerns for e kids who enter p1 functioning way below their peers. she also shared the conundrum of such kids having parents at home but no support... ie. they'd be watching tv or playing psp's rather than help their struggling kids. we talked for over an hr, mb nearly two. she told me i shd go back to teaching :)

we did talk a little abt ky too... she's pleased with his progress and shows concern for his health. she shared that she was originally unaware of his non-malay background.  she explained the assessmnt type for mt malay and translated some of what he'd be expected to do... and she was open to finding out how she cd help him more for the upcoming examinations in term 2. his spelling, vocab and reading are coming on ok. (he's in band 2 rt now... not even the lowest band which surprised me!) 

so as he'll hv to be constructing his own sentences for composition, comprehension, and oral by this May, he clearly has loooots of catching-up to do! presently he cant even string 2 words together!!!  well, she's a sweetie like i said, and has offered to teach him b4 school on 2 days each week. (i'll be there on 3 days for e lsp kids, so it's no problem for me.)  one day will app be redaing, while e other will be sentence-building. i'm hoping she can come up with a writing format, and mb some flashcards or other supplementary materials that we can borrow from the school for home-use. he's certainly got his work cut out for him!

on the upside, he has another good friendship that's seemingly already set in stone... this time with a boy. (a brotherhood ;))  she said that what they hv is something she's not observed in her students b4... not even the older ones. a very very close friendship. they stick together, and Z even leaves his seat during classtime to come and translate for ky if he notices that the teacher has been unable to do so. ky in response, has been helping his dear friend read and prepare his english show-and-tell during recess time. rt from e 1st week or 2 of school ky shared that it upset him when e teacher scolded this lil boy for things he didnt know. he felt it was unfair as it wasnt his fault. "more likely his mama didnt hv time for him," he expalined. and now, a couple of months later the bond between them is strong. it's something that will benefit them both in the longrun. one is excellent at english but has zero malay. the other is excellent at malay, but has zero english. they are the flip-sides of a coin rt now. like day and night... it's almost like they were meant to be together. their bond is so tight that ky will even share e favourite bits of his recess food with him. i'm waiting to see if e day will come when he will go without, so that his friend will not go hungry.  i never thot that these wd be the lessons he'd be learning in his 1st year... english and math and whatever else r of no value in comparison...

it's obvious he's very very happy in school. he'd been looking forward to the hols, but on a couple of days this week he's mentioned that he'd actually love to be at school cos he really misses it. he's indeed blessed to hv 2 such passionate teachers!

thanks to all e mummy's concerns, our little tiger is still with us. :)

e swelling seems to hv been caused by e infection getting into his lymph nodes and circulatory system, causing lots of liquid to gather below his skin..the reason he started looking like a puffer-fish with a lion's mane :b  his body then reacted to e infection by causing an allergic response...leading to e extreme swelling which progressed daily. thankfully his trachea stayed open, so he was able to breathe and eat!

e antihistamines she prescribed kicked rt in that nite, and brought e swelling down 50%. he's still got visible infection & swelling now, but it seems e meds shd clear it up over e next week or 2.  his cone-collar has to stay on until then...

by last nite i cd tell he was feeling better... he's started fighting to get out the house, and is now ripping shreds off my arms when he cant!!!  kayla's wordwall poster on her bedroom door has also been completely shredded by him!  u naughty naughty boy!  :)

-ky's fever shot up last nite, close to 42degrees. highest i've ever known their's to go. it shocked me. made him dizzy and disorientated, sleepy and gave him a really bad headache. (which was no surprise!) 

i put him with me in the bathtub for an hour at 4am this morning. then packed him off to bed beside dh.  he slept til noon. e fever's persisted, but with round e clock meds we've kept it below 40deg now.  he's sad to be home, and even sadder that he mt have to miss out on his holiday...

-tiger's getting worse.

by tonight his whole face is now swollen. both eyes swollen partially shut. glands at neck have formed a puffy raised 'main' ard his neck. e infection goes ard his mouth, cheeks, eyes, and rt up to his ears...hot, puffy n red.

e weeping wounds hav dried somewhat, so everything's a lot less messy. but e infection seems to be spreading beneath the skin, inside his flesh... infact e infected area has been doubling in size every 24hrs...

his whole face is now a mess. even e nose-bridge is swollen. dunno how long he can keep breathing like this. dunno if e septic bacteria are in his bloodstream yet... e antibiotics still hv not kicked in. dunno how i'll find him tmw wen i wake.

each time i go in e room i 1st look at his tummy from e doorway to see if he's still breathing.

it's so sad to see him in this state. :(  e old raw meat smell that comes from him when i get up close is quite repulsive... but it hurts me not to 'sayang' him when he's hurting so bad.  i'm going back to e vet tmw. dunno if i'll hv to make that awful decision to leave him behind. intravenous antibiotics mt not be an option...or a very costly one at that...

i'm hoping and praying a miracle will happen really soon.   i'm prepared for e worst, but my heart is so so sad, cos actually i'm not really prepared at all...

he's been my little baby this last year... he's filled that baby-shaped hole in my heart...a hole that's been there since i've wanted more kids.  he's helped to stop that longing... it wd be so sad without him...

...this is in a bad sense, NOT a good sense of the expression...!

here i will leave for remembrance one of the worst types of days in our lives...so that when the good ones, or even the okay ones come along, i can indeed be TRULY THANKFUL!

-slept at 2am this morning after final round being doctor to e cat, filling e washing machine, and trying to overcome e pain of an impacted wisdom tooth.

-woken ard 4am by kay w sore throat. put back to sleep in our bed.

-woken ard 6am by dh, to feed and see to a sore and vocal kitty, then back to bed.

-woken ard 8am by ky w sore throat. had planned to hv a lie-in, cos no plans until schooltime. got up instaed cos kids start bickering over sofas.

-make sandwiches for breakfast. throats are too sore, so make flapjacks too. cook noodles for lunch quickly to get ky fed b4 early start speech-n-drama.

-cat nearly falls out of 5th-floor kitchen window....twice!

-ky dropped at school w sore throat meds. forgot to put meds on his ulcer.

-shd hv taken aunty to temple, but mil took her instead, so kay n i suddenly free.

-we go to e library. kay walks one side of her head full-tilt into a concrete pillar.

-we head home around e back way, bags full of veeeeery heavy books. too heavy!

-we come upon an abandoned/lost kitten.  no mum/siblings in sight. kitty starving and mewing with all it's might. i hv no food on me. we take it home.

-give tiger his meds & clean him up. at e same time, kitty gets food.

-give kitty a warm bath.

-give kay her lunch and sit her on e sofa to cuddle n bbsit a damp kitty while i eat.

-tiger escapes, forcing his way through e gate, removing his protective collar in e process. i retrieve him. he then climbs e window-grills umpteen times, trying to escape, almost impaling himself on e bicycle handlebars each time he falls. i shut e door and curtains.  kitty is alseep. kay cant move to eat her lunch. i spoonfeed her, inbetween chores.

-dh comes home early, sick and grumpy. i send him to kay's room, and put sore tiger in ky's room, while kitty is w me.

-i call ard arranging a bbsitter for kitty. get one. she drops by. alas 2 sinkfuls of dishes are waiting to be done, and laundry halfway hung. arrange to drop kitty her place later. i attack e rest of e chores as soon as she leaves... finally some sort of order!

-kay excitedly jumps abt in e kitchen, slips and bites a deep gash rt through her tongue. also hurts her elbow and e same side of her head as earlier. bloodied and crying, this is 2 minutes b4 i shd be leaving to fetch ky.

-i get dh off e sofa and out e door to get him instead.  no choice...unless he's gonna deal with e bloodied child, a mewing kitty, and a bloodied scratching cat...

-sucking on a dry cloth in front of a vcd helped kay...as did a frozen juice lolly a while later... :)

-ky came back grumpy and holding a sore head. another kid ran their head into his head just after recess. been dizzy and head-achy since then. given meds and option to come take kitty to sitter, or stay home and rest n hv dinner. he decides to come out.

-i take kitty and it's barang and walk e wrong direction to e sitters. at e main road we walk back home and take e rt direction. halway there, kitty decides to relieve about a cupful of pee down my shirt and pants. i just luuuv smelling of fishy cat-pee! by the time i get to my friend's it's now stale fishy cat-pee!

-kitty settles well thankfully! :) a silver lining...

-walking back, buy dinner. ky cant see straight with his migraine... umpteen times he nearly walked smack into e pillars of e blocks. praying we get home without any further mis-haps.

-i run e bath and feed e kids. i stink so bad i cant wait for them to bath 1st.... kay comes crying cos her tongue is too painful to eat, but she's sooooo hungry. ky laments his head too sore to sit up and eat. he eats half. i bath them both, forget abt food and get them into their beds.   in e bath ky says e water's cold n it's hot outside. i realise he's running qt a fever. e migraine meds he's already taken shd help for that... well he cant taken anything else even if it doesnt...

-i'm suddenly glad e little kitty is safely in his new home...so i can get my head around this bunch!

-got a call while running e bath... a mama i know from b4 saw my msg and wants to give kitty a permanent home. i'm so pleased... just a few more days to wait... i hope e bb-sitter can manage til then... and that kitty will be good and not get into her hubby's things! :b

-after bath kay hurt too much to eat or even drink milk, but continues crying cos she's hungry. i read her a few pages of a book, then dissappear to help tiger who's desperately flailing in pain.  it takes me a while to clean and sooth him. by the time i'm done, i find kay sobbing pools of tears in our bed, in pain and still hungry.

-desperate times call for desperate measures... 2 cheese slices and a cold flapjack with chocolate spread. it fills her tummy and doesnt hurt too much. e rice is put away for tmw.

-remembering ky's fever, and tiger's worsening condition, i dont think i wanna be out tmw. i quickly call a mummy to cancel e playgrp session that i shd be teaching. ky will be dissapointed not to be able to go for e splash park outing after. he was so looking forward to enjoying his day off school.  cant be helped... only consolation is that nxt week's hols...

-"i want to sleep now" kay remarked when i returned to e lounge. i breathed a sigh of relief... her tummy was finally satisfied... and so she did...nursing after e rest of her story.

-now it's so late. dh is in bed in kay's room with kynan. i never got t say goodnite to poor sick hubby... n poor kynan never got his story, nor his prayers, nor his ulcer meds (again!) he's fast asleep now w/o even a goodnight kiss from me. it's e 1st time that's happened. :(

-i've just cleaned up tigey again, and put him to sleep in his basket at e bottom of ky's bed. i gave him lots of loving, wondering how much longer he can go on like that...

-what a day!... the house is surprisingly tidy. at almost midnite i remembered my dinner. chicken murtabak. it's gone cold and sweaty in it's wrapper. not so palatable, but nice to sit down and enjoy w a nice cold glass of coke! i know i shdnt, it's so late afterall... but it's so so nice :)

-now my ear is throbbing again as i sit here and i remember i hv an ear infection that i'm meant to be treating...

-so let me do just that and get to bed... it cant get any more interesting than this!? :b

*some things abt this truly bad day that i'm thankful for:

-a little girl who stroked a lost kitty to sleep on her lap so her mommy cd eat.

-a little boy who kept walking even when he thot he cd go no further.

-a hubby who loves us all and means well.

-our family is sick, but we r still together...

-God's strength and humility that he gives to meet the needs of those who cross our pathways.

-for sleep to hold and heal us...

i dunno if tiger's gonna make it. :(

in spite of e antibiotics, the infection is spreading rapidly.

in just 24hrs, it's now gone past his whiskers towards his mouth, up onto e bridge of his nose, causing it to swell...continued lower down his cheek, up over the top of his eye, and now into e eyelid itself...leaving the entire infected area red, raw and weeping.  his eye is now swollen completely shut and e infected side of his face is irritating him so much today. while he's awake, he will just shake his head and scratch at it constantly through the plastic collar, causing it to weep even more. 

i have a growing fear that he's not gonna make it. :(  we love him so...especially kayla. she's not been able to carry him for what feels like forever! i hate to see him suffering like this... :(

pls Lord, if it's yr will, pls make our Tiger better.