it feels like ages since i last had time to sit properly and write... so i'll try my best to play catch-up, working backwards... :)

-tonight our dear Tiger got on the wrong side of dh's leg and somehow ended up getting his leg caught between the matress and the bedframe. he yanked himself free and has bn limping since then. :(  it doesnt look like a break. hopefully just a sprain or partial dislocation.

poor kitty was in a state of shock after...just lying really still in a dark corner, hissing and meowing feebly when anyone came near. 2hrs later he seemde to be feeling slightly better. while i was putting e kids to bed, he came and gave a sad meow at the door. i scampered up, (kay understood), and he promptly came and sat on my lap and started licking my hand and arm with his sandpapery tongue.

later when i tried to find the bit that hurt, he was quite accomodating.  a quick nip and a paw that pushed me away told me when i'd hit the mark.

well i've made a special bed for him tonight... a soft laudry basket turned on it's side with his big pink towel for comfort. (i'd found him trying to get into one of my soft carrier bags just b4 that... wanting to hide away) and that's where he is rt now...and probably will be til the morning when he'll be whisked off to the vet.  awww poor kitty...

kynan has learned a few things of late...

-this week he came home with a fact that was very surprising to him... that muslims fast! ie, that his little muslim friends cant eat or drink anything the WHOLE day at school...not even water. he saw his one little mate 'suffering' for want of water in the middle of a hot day...and thought over the sense of that. he also became aware of a few other things...

*like why they dont do p.e. during this fasting month,

*and he observed that the teacher is kind enough not to require them to talk too much, (else they'd become thirsty.)

it's a real eye-opener to him... and i'm glad that he's actually outward-looking enough, to be aware of such.

-he has a new malay teacher, and he's finally getting some constructive help in constructing sentences... albeit only once a week... at least we're making progress :)

-the end of term is coming near... they have no exams this term, so we're taking it easy.  to top it off, homework has been almost non-existant of late.

i've used this time to become totally hands-off with his spelling. (at the end of last term, he'd still come to me to be tested once the night before. the rest of the week, i'd advised him to revise daily for the best results.

of course he didnt always follow...but i left him to it. he had 2 terms to learn to become totally independent.

there was once he didnt even come to me the nite b4. i didnt ask or remind.... (but i knew he'd not even written any of the words a single time.)  i let him be. he came back with 2/10 :) cruel me, ya! 

but thereafter he saw the sense in daily revision, and has been fine since. these last few weeks i've not seen the spelling lists, nor been asked to quiz him. his teachers havent been sending the books home to be signed either, so i have no idea how things are going... but the positive change i see in kynan is that he sits down now, each morning and night, and  revises them quietly without even a word from me. it makes me feel happy not to be burdened by this aspect of his upbringing... and in total contrast to many other parenst around us. 

but this style of fostering independent study techniques from a young age, is not unique. in fact i see that it's quite common amongst larger families here. but those with only 1 or 2 kids imply that they're too 'kiasu' not to be involved each step of the way. or they say their kids are too lazy. so they dont trust them. but if we never let go...then will they ever be willing to stand on their own 2 feet?... we will always be their safety net....stepping in b4 they fall, as we dont want them to mess up. cos if they mess up, then it may look bad on us as parents, ya? :)

i really think we do need to step back and little by little, let our kids learn to live their lives for themselves. cos when we do things for our own reasons, then suddenly what was previously someone else's burden, actually becomes our own responsibility... and we literally 'grow up ' overnight. 

this is how we worked when we were kids. we did our homework and revision all on or own. our results were for our benefit alone. my mum never blinked an eye whether we brought home an A or a C...so long as we never failed. consequently, we never worked to get recognition from her. instead, for the subjects we enjoyed, we worked to do the best we cd...for ourselves. (for that is where our strengths lay)... and the book prizes were an attractive carrot from the school! :))

i'm hoping that gradually kynan will be able to do the same for himself... learn how to revise independently for exams, so that he too can be totally responsible for his own personal fulfilment. but this is just the beginning... i hv to provide him with the tools and give him plenty of practice with me... b4 he goes off to use them on his own. mb by P3... i'm hopeful!

tonight b4 bed...

Kayla:  "i'll never be 4 again, rt mama?... 

that means i can't grow young again!...

lucky i said goodbye in my head last nite, to my old 4-yr-old self."  :))

exactly a year ago tonight, my little girl Kayla, you were too scared to sleep....

-"will it hurt mama?"

"will what hurt kayla?"

-"will it hurt when i turn?"

"when you turn what?"

-"when i turn 4... tonite while i sleep?"

well my dear, tonight b4 you slept, i reminded you of our conversation exactly 1 year ago. u thot it very funny!... and no, you said yr not scared anymore....  :)

-"but just in case you hear a big noise in the night mama, dont be worried, it's just the room turning with me!"

you chuckled at my qwik response.... "lucky you're only turning 5 then, & not 100!!!"

Kayla, yr mummy is a bit sad to see her sweet little girl growing up.  ...and you know how i always tell u that you're my 'baby'...well 20yrs from now i'll probably still be saying that... with lots of love! :)

u skinned yr rt knee this week...and 3 days later, yr rt elbow too. they went all yucky.... "snotty" was the word u used. :)

so i asked u to wear skirts and shorter tops to help them dry out. (u know you'll usually only wear jeans and T-shirts rt...other than on Sundays when i manage to get u into a dress. :)

but surprisingly you agreed.  (-"it's not like i cant wear jeans forever rt?...rt?" :))  and i know for a fact that tomorrow...on yr birthday, u plan to wear yr new tiara, and yr fuzzy pink matching bag. u cant really match those with jeans rt?... so i guess a dress mt be in order? :))

what a change to see u this last week...prancing ard in little girly outfits once again. (it's been more than 2 yrs since you know!)   now yr girly skirts, combined with yr long long hair and long long legs, it made u suddenly look so grown-up... even yr daddy was surprised at the transformation!  but then you'd behave all silly, loud and crazy... and so totally unbecoming of a young lady!...then we'd know that our little girl is still hiding inside just as playful as ever!

my kayla, u make us so happy! u charm yr daddy to bits, and irritate him no end too!...esp when he's reading his papers or bz with work.

....and yr big brother kynan?  well you've made him laugh the loudest... and you've made him cry the hardest...and what about that recent comment you made that almost made him blush!... i cd almost not keep myself from splitting in two! 

do u remember?... about how the freckle on his cheek "makes him look *very cute*"....

you are a darling my love and we're so happy that God brought you into our family! you have given us joy, and love, and laughter! may u grow into a fine young lady...wise and honest, kind and true. you have won a special place in our hearts, and we all love you to bits! (Tiger included! :))

So Happy Birthday dear daughter... May all your dreams come true!

luv mama & daddy... & kynan too xxx

kay and i went to e zoo this last week. we had a pleasant time together...

this is some of what she learned:

-polar bears at the zoo get to eat fresh fish.  using a large net, the zookeepers catch them from the ponds just before feeding time.

-"when an adult polar bear stands up, it's even taller than daddy. but if i stand on his shoulders then mb i'll be the same height...  and if kynan stands on his shoulders, then mb he'll be even taller!"

-"the snakes eat dead mice. ya mum, they are actually real mice... and they're dead...they killed them!"

-like snakes, gila monsters have poison, but instead of hollow fangs, their poison comes from grooves in their teeth. "so they have to chew and chew on their prey to get them dead."

-"the skink is like a fat lizard, and when it yawned i saw it has a blue tongue!"

-like lizards, komodo dragons and iguanas moult their skins when they grow out of them. it looks yucky when it peels off their frills and spikes.

-the giant tortoise has large feet. it's skin resembles that of the dinosaurs. kayla would like to ride on one, if only they didnt spend so much time sleeping!

-"mama look here... adult kangaroos can jump very very very far!"

-"wallabies look like baby kangaroos, but they're not really... cos if you look closely, u will see that their ears and snouts look different."

-"baboons like to groom each other, and baby baboons are very good at rock-climbing."

-the ibex is "so poor thing...stuck so high up on the rocks all day!"

-the blue whale is the largest animal on e earth today. it's heart is as big as a car.

-"otters like to sleep in a pile."  (that is, the muumy and babies.)  the daddy likes to sleep alone, draped over a rock looking down upon them... or stretched out on the ground a few feet away. he likes his space! :))

this week ky gave his 1st oral presentation during the school assembly.  i was so pleased for him!

he volunteered in advance... along with 5 or 6 other P1's.

his choice of topic: the F16 fighter jet  ( he's a boy through and through!) 

he practised all week, then happily shared his 'prize' with kayla as soon as he got home. ...2 pens and 2 erasers... thankfully easy to split :))

well done brave one!

e kids and scouts were to walk from e new mrt stop past braddell/ lornie rd. (i forget e name of it now)... to town (near e padang/ kallang river basin) to see e fireworks last saturday.

kayla was reeeallly keen. she set her uniform out the night before, and was bubbling over w excitement.  however, for her it was not to be; she was woken by a nice fever.

e poor girl was so insistent though... so i promised her that she cd come along with us, and that i'd take her alone on a little hike down the canal while the others were having their briefing... then she was to go off with daddy for a nice icecream treat.)

so she had her little half-hour walk with me, then went off for a date with her daddy. all happy.

kynan and i headed off with our bags full of water, milo and snacks. it was quite a good pace and the kids handled themselves marvelously. the overhead bridges were a bit of a drag... and at those times i was glad that kay was not with me... i cdnt imagine dragging her tired legs up them... and certainly wdnt hv wanted to carry her lithe 18kg frame up and down them!

dinner was at ard 7pm, but neither ky nor i were terribly hungry. thirsty yes, but no appetitie when we r walking.

so when we stopped at a bunch of coffeshops, we reluctantly stocked up on some food.  we bought 20satay, a pkt of chicken rice, and 6 bananas...all for later. :) 

as it turend out, the rest of the scouts all sat down to tuck in, so we sat down too and decided to quench our thirst.  i tempted ky to try some satay. good thing too!... he/ we nibbled with relish. then we moved on to the bananas. :b

when we all set off again... half an hr later, ky commented how he suddenly felt so fresh, like he was just setting out at the start of the hike. strangely i felt the same... the food had really given us a spring in our step! the human body is really truly amazing! and we were sustained until the end!

b4 we knew it, the sun was setting over the kallang river, and darkness fell... lights a-twinkling on the dark water. as the time neared 8pm, i arranged for dh to try meet us at our end-point... which was errr? an unknown location somewhere ard e basin. :)  i wd have taken e train w ky as we were still quite fresh, but kay app refused to eat until she'd joined us... and of course, she didnt want to miss e fireworks!

so with our mobile phones, we managed to relate our surroundings back and forth to one-another, and qt by fluke, came out at e same side of e expressway bridge over e river.... kay was bubbly when she saw us... all girly and cute, and quick to hold my hand as i walked.  as it turns out, we were just a stone's throw from our final destination... a little construction site which afforded us a good view of the bay.  so she didnt have very far to walk.

that dusty bit of wasteland is where we got comfy for a bit, while the kids finished their dinners and snacks, then oohed and aahed at the fiery spectacle over the bay.

and when it was time to go back, dear kynan was in for a surprise.

- "are we going back to e mrt?' he asked.

"yes", i replied.

-"u mean the same one we started at?"  (note, that wd be another 4-5hr walk away ;))

"yes", i said... in a rather serious tone.

-"oh," came his reply.

me: "is that ok?... we've got enough water and snacks rt?"

-"er, my water's finished," he says quaveringly, as we continue our walk.

"nevermind, i still have enough for us both. we'll be fine"

-"ok," comes his undaunted response... as we walks on resolutely.

poor kid. he'd forgotten that daddy was now with us, that kay was with us too, and that it was way past her bedtime.

but Aunty J kept up the game...

'dont worry kynan, that stop is only one away from bishan. u can take a train home from there."

me: "nah, remember we past by braddell rd on the way here?... so when we go back that way, we just need to keep walking straight down it, then we'll end up in bishan!"

ky: "oh, ok."

me: "anyhow, i wdnt want to pay to take e train just one stop away rt?...we might as well save e money and walk." 

ky: in a slow deliberate voice... "yah, we shdnt waste our money like that..."

poor kiddo...he really believed me!... only when we got to e padang mrt carpark did his eyes suddenly glisten, and a faint smile tip his lips... and yes, that's when i pointed a finger sideways to my hubby... asking ky what he thought he n kay were doing there. 

very faaaarny....    he shared with me later that he thought he and i cd well hv walked back together that night... "cos we are quite fit", he added, "and we still had some energy left " :)   yes, i think we cd have my dear.  (but kayla wdnt have thanked me for it!.... cos she was more than ready for bed!  :))

tonite we ended up discussing the pro's and cons of s'pore city life for kids growing up now, vs life in south africa when i grew up.

this was a totally impromptu conversation started tonight after lights-out, by one thoughtfull little boy.

and it began with a question, or rather a statement:
"mum, daddy doesnt like animals does he?" :>

so i had to explain how daddy grew up in a very different environment to mummy...

which led to kynan's 'if only'.... ie if only we cd be having that kind of childhood...

but i explained how fortunate they r to be exposed to animals and the great outdoors *inspite* of their environment. :)  which wasnt convincing enuff for him...

so for almost an hr we talked abt all the things they're exposed to now in s'pore, which i never had as a child... aside from fab experiences (such as our annual camping trips).... i had to point out that at that time, we had 8kids in the house at 1 point, so there wasnt always that much of everything to go around... eg new things were only seen at birthdays and Christmas... oh and did i mention there were no roller-skates, skateboards, bikes etc, and pls dont mention gym classes, archery, rock-climbing....and daily treats?

yes, it makes them sound totally spoilt!  they are indeed very fortunate here... fortunate to hv more than 1 pair of shoes... toys galore, and no shortage of fun trips all over the island.  

hopefully it's balanced out the draw of a large house, rambling garden, pool, and a yard full of 2-and 4-legged feathered furry friends to pet. 

convinced? gotta wait-n -ee!

we woke today, with a hazy sky... visibility getting worse as the day progressed.... not the *best* day to be outdoors, but oh well! 3 puffs of ky's inhaler cleared my coughs and breathlessness :)

today was the day that the cubscouts wd use their own steam to get from lower pierce reservoir to amk park. they had to find their own way there with a map...avoiding the 2 main roads, and sticking together along e way. it was a lesson in patience for me... an *EXTREME* lesson.

it proved to be a similar experience for ky. (which i'd not counted on)  he's qt a good walker so he found the pace to be gratingly slow ;)  he had plenty spots of boredom along the way... so busied himself finding grasses,  bamboo, thorns, and berries to fill his pockets with.  it made me realise that he's qt a fit little boy, and cd qt easily do qt stiff hikes of a number of hours if him and i were alone.  (yes, his mommy too!...inspite of the extra love-handles ;))

so for us, the walk ended up being a qt short one, ie relative distance covered...but oh so long in covering that 'short' distance.   :b  yes, did i already say a lesson in *patience*? :-)

looking at e kids, many seemed hot and tired not long into it. and alas, not much road-sense amongst them! it made me realise how little they prob get out w/o e luxury of car/ bus /mrt.  cant be blamed i suppose... time is of the essence on this little island, so mums n dads hv to get places fast... no value in taking one's time, unless u start out a few hrs early... "what, in this heat?" i hear u say ;))  city-kids yes, but rather clueless on foot. :b ...ok, mb i'm being a little harsh.... they r still young and this is prob their 1st experience  :)  ... so there's hope yet!

on the upside, a purpose was served:

- e littlies, and biggies, had to push themselves physically beyond what any of them hv probably expereinced b4.

- and e 2 kiddy leaders had their 1st tastes of proper responsiblilty.... they had to plan the route/ AND make sure that they kept to it/ AND keep checking that nobody had got lost.

one chap in particular, took on that resposibility rather well, and actually stuck to it w/o distraction... *and* he showed great inprovement in map-reading & general orientation by the end of the journey ... *and* he behaved in a manner quite befitting a young man leading his troops to dinner :)    well done E... i can see that u tried very hard!   and well done to everyone for making it to the end!

so our next walk on the wild-side?...

bukit timah perhaps?  and i'll be soooo glad not to worry abt them getting knocked down by traffic along the way! :b

and ky?.... "kota kinabalu pls mama!" :) ....and he means it! 

ah, my little girl is growing up!... tonite i sat on e comfy chair at granny's, relaxing after a long day out.

she promptly came over and sat 'horsy-style' on my one leg. after a little while, she lay her head back against my chest, and just relaxed her whole body against me.  it was so sweet to have her there awhile...too tired to feed herself, so nibbling bits of chicken from my fingers, while leaning back listening to conversation...every now and then opening her mouth like a little bird, for another morsel of food.

when i got home and put her to bed, she drifted off almost immediately...completely exhausted by her busy day.

as i later stood washing a pile of dirty dishes, i realised that this was the 1st time, in a long long time, that she'd climbed up to my lap to just "be".

it was so nice to have her close like that... a really pleasant memory already...and just hoping there'll be more :)

and ky? oh i wish he'd still come sit on my lap sometimes!... perhaps it's something i shd help bring about ;)

e hols hv exposed ky to a diff style of learning again...

e migraines hv left completely for now... ie no more yelling to bear with at school = no more dizziness, pain, puking = no more trouble trying to sleep at night = no more need for pain-meds.  so on the one hand i'm a happy mummy!

his friends in school are a bonus... e interraction w girls... e feeling of independence_all perks. his teachers seem sweet. they're young and mostly dont have kids yet from what i've heard. that in itself has it's pluses and minuses... ;)  e school has a sound moral platform for e kids. e assemblies and Bible talks, are all part of what i want my kids to grow up with...

he said b4 that he really liked school.  he's made some really really close friends.  (and this was inspite of e err 'disciplinarian' style)  he was so sick at times, yet he refused to stay home and miss out on p/e or art, his fav subjects. 

but e downside_ e sports are soooo lacking. he wishes they'd do more 'challenging' stuff, be more creative with games, and learn some 'proper' sport.  "when will we get a chance to go out on a field mama?...to run, to play football."  he's become soooo unfit since p1 started. thank goodness for e hols!... else he'd still be a lazy lump on e sofa!  now at least he's got some muscles back ;) 

a biggy for me: after reading some of his classwork during e hols, i realise that e level of english is qt disheartening. it's been a big step backwards for ky. it seems to me that perhaps expectations r qt low, so he doesnt bother to deliver. and unless the teachers know the child's background, they wd be none-the-wiser. ...and art...? (my other pet-peev!)_hey, i'm a designer after-all!...and i see in ky a prolific draw-er...just as i was. so if we counted the actual art hours in school, i'd probably cry! 

i feel like he's there for so many hrs each day all week, but missing out~ so do i go with the flow?   am i short-changing him? 

yes and no?

-english, arts & sports: no challenge rt now./ -class discipline: e opp extreme./ -math: ok / -malay: more assistance needed but_? 

art and sports can be made-up in our own time. e hols hv shown me this.  so i'm not too worried...

but english? what will be the longterm effect?...ie seemingly  'dumbing-down' a kid's writing to meet the 'class-standard'... might it not make a kid believe that he need only give something so simplistic in order to just get by? ie not his best effort.

as a teacher, i've seen this to be particularly so with boys. (for those who are capable, unless the ballmark is set high,  they wd be qt contented to just sail through / under-achieve) 

so now i'm aware of this, my worry is not just for ky, but for kay too.

she wants to go to this same school, to be with her big brother...

her standard of english has been much higher rt from e start... she's shy, but she's so very capable.  so after seeing where ky's at rt now, i'm really starting to doubt whether this school wd be a v good fit for her.  i think she needs a higher level, most certainly for english.

and kynan?...can his teacher/ school offer higher-level learning/ tasks for those who r more able in english (such as what they do for mother-tongue?) 

someone shared with me from moe, that it was for english that this style of teaching 1st came about, but that it's mother tongue that has seemingly put it into action...

it's something i probably hv to find out directly from his school... but i so hate to rock the boat.

what a conundrum!

oh yes, and if it's not enuff to hv e enticing home-learning option b4 his eyes, he's now grumbling abt having to wear the mask to school :(

....so what is e lesser of e two evils my dear child? _wearing a mask?/ or landing in hospital?

baby steps, baby steps...

ky's bn sick since our trip... still is. so he's been home doing e-learning. :)

unfortunately it wasnt as easy as i'd envisaged... not him doing e work, nah that's a piece of cake... he prob finished it all in less time than it took me to read through e stuff, figure out e order, locate a lesson-plan (mia), then download and print it all! 

yah, having to print a bunch of stuff is not that smart on e school's part...esp if one particular mama is not prepared for such...(expecting to be doing & submitting e work online only)  ...so low on ink, n unable to go shopping for e stuff!  had to save e work n squeeze it onto fewer sheets, cut-n-paste here n there. more like homework for me ;) 

another fix, getting e malay work v late in e week... and i'm in a spot now....dont understand a word of it!... not e lesson-plans/ letter/ powerpoint.   so it wd be interesting me trying to direct his learning!... ;)  and dh? ah that wd be good if he were home... but with e h1n1, he's leaving for work b4 sunrise, n coming back wen it's dark... so while i get e kids to bed, he's eating dinner n fast asleep by e time i emerge.... so not much help on that front....

fortunately tho, the rest of e schoolwork has been a breeze for him... some workbook-style eng w/shts, a whole bunch of similar math ones... along w some journal-writing, show-n-tell prep, n e usual spelling.  e w/shts were more quantity than quality...so we supplemented with plenty of reading, book reviews, narration, intro to poetry/ haiku & blank verse, and even some letter-writing.  it still left us time for art (drawing/ sword-making/ n mosaic), as well as p/e (long walks along e canal, bike-riding, gym, and some dualing with home-made swords!)

e change in tack has got him asking abt homeschooling again...

"S is so lucky to be homeschooling now.".... "oh wdnt it be nice if x,y,and i cd all join him...then we cd hv our own lessons together while e little-ones have p/grp!" ....

"yes, wdnt it be nice!" :-)

so nice to be remembered on my b'day. got sms's, email, n so many well-wishes on facebook.  (alas, cdnt even respond to the facebook ones, as for some reason my computer wont let me log in rt now ...not protected?.

so a big tq to those special ppl who remembered me! it cheered me up no end, esp cos no-one in my home remembered!  dh didnt even bother with anything, but i cant blame him...with e h1n1, he's bn having v early mornings and v long days... so a grumbly face is to be expected.... but earlier in e day, when i told e kids i got some smiles *and* a b'day song from ky. "tq my boy!" ... out of tune mb, but it melted my heart :)

am getting old now n dont really bother w remembering my age... (do i really want to?)  it's ky who kps reminding me! :b  but i still wd like some kind of celebration... so we went to swensons for e free icecream... e kids were sure to enjoy it!

and as i didnt want to cook that nite, we shared a pizza too!  i'd wanted some peppery meatballs 4 starters but they ended up tasting like dogfood...all grissly and yucks... i cdnt even force myself to eat them! so with my appetite ruined... i plumped for chocolate pecan pie instead! :) how can someone not cheer up after such a treat?....and e sticky-chewy-chocolate icecream w caramel sauce was just what i needed.  waited for dh to join us, but he had to work late, so e kids and i celebrated alone.

nxt day i bought some cute cupcakes for e playgrp to share... it was most opportune too!... as we did e story of e lost sheep, and how e shepherd rejoiced with his neighbours wen he found it.... so we had a party too! :)  e kids were in their element!

and my best b'day present? it was my only one... a dear friend who washed my dishes while i taught e co-op. tq dear! yes i asked u not to, cos u know how uncomfortable it makes us mummies feel.. but as it was my b'day, i thot i'd just get on with teaching and enjoy e special priviledge. :)  u really dont know how happy u made me! tq!

after e p/g kids had left, i hurriedly cooked dinner, then ran out to grab some cold drinks, with e kids in e bath.  it was bliss to sit and enjoy a delicious curry-n-rice n coke, happy in e knowledge that i cd later put e kids and myself to bed w/o having to get up again for chores! 

so e best bits abt growing older....?

-being surrounded by wonderful friends!...

-and having a hard-working hubby who loves e kids to bits!

now is so *not* e time to be ill~

we got back from melaka and e kids n i proceeded to get sore throats n runny noses, 1 after another. nothing serious...just enuff to be irritating...

and what's even more irritating to me is that i actually developed a sore red rose from all e abrasive tissue-rubbing... something i've not had since England-time more than 10yrs ago!

and usually when i get sick, it'll strike fast n furious, n i'll be over with the worst in max 2-4days. the same with the kids. ...but this time it's just like an irritating cold that keeps coming n going.

and ya, what a great time to be sick! with the h1n1 on everyone's lips, it's obviously bugging me bigtime too!  so here we've bn home with mild fluey symptoms for 7+days...and i kp asking e ppl in-the-know... "izzit possible it cd be?"

well app not....  they say that if it were, then a fever shd have shown up by now.

so i'm thankful, really i am!... but still stressed.

kay seems fine now, but ky's sore throat is back, and he seems to be having sinusitis from this morning. poor thing, it got him crying so i know it must hv been bad. i had to massage it constantly to finally get him to sleep tonight. ... and at the same time that i was trying to calm him, i was doing my utmost to focus my breathing through an asthma attack, and try hard not to cling too tightly at my bothersome heart palpitations. :( 

dh was still awake in the livingroom when i finally got out... it was a much-needed sense of calm that exuded from him...just by being there, quielty watching tv.   funny that... any other time it wd probably have irritated me! ;) 

well, i told him what e doc said abt ky wearing a mask to school. his reply: dont take e risk. i'm glad we were on the same page.  i really wish though that i cd just h/s them both and not hv to worry abt all this... it really is giving me so so so much stress.

"why worry?..." so many ppl say.

 "it's nothing, ....just hv proper hygiene". 

if it was their kid who ended up breathless everytime urti came ard...with reaction time down to a day, and a&e becoming the standard, rather than the exception... /if it was their kid who had a *high risk* of being e  "one in a 1,000" to die from this... then how wd they feel?  how wd they feel each time their kid steps into a shopping cntr, a train, a lift? ..each time their kid raises a hand to touch their face...?

it's stressful. and it's so exhausting being constantly stressed like this. i hide it but it's still there.

i'm not ready either. my asthma has become so reactive. when it hits like that it's so sudden... i cant even get to my inhaler. i literally feel faint then buckle n blur.  so far dh has bn there to help me, thank goodness... but he's not ready for the worst. (i dont think he cd even carry me down t the car!)  and he wont even talk abt it. 

yes we can pray...hand it all over to God... but i'm not ready to let go. i'm not ready for anything to happen. my family is too precious to me.

i so wish we weren't here rt now, having to face this. i so wish i was somewhere far away where this has not yet come... (somehow s/africa seems a brighter option rt now. :))  what a strange twist of fate!... wish we had a little cottage there that we cd 'run away' to.  

wdnt it be great if we and our families cd just take a year out and 'dissappear'... until all this blows over...

-we passed by the same house on a certain corner, that we have passed by for the last 10-12yrs. it's been sold a number of times and now it's up for lease or sale again... oh i wish i wish i wish!!! :)

-we stayed in a suite with a dripping ceiling in one toilet, and an un-flushable loo in the other! 

-we discovered a serene and sunny little 'beer' garden at the end of the jetty. the karaoke lounges along the way were noisy and smoky, but the pleasant sightings of waterbirds, and the serene seaview, were worth the sojourn. and 'no', there was no beer in the beer-garden...it was closed!~ so bring yr own drinks and snacks in the day and go hv a quiet seat in the quiet open air.

-a creepy creeper-lined coridor (almost of storybook-character) ~and to be found somewhere off jonker street, led to an old blacksmith's home at the back...re-constructed to it's original condition. having housed a rather noble occupant prior, it had been restored and converted to a museum and quaint little teahouse...the owner whom was kind enough to leave what seemed-to-be her students, and their informal art-lesson~ willingly.  she briefed my children and i on the history of its owner, along with his interesting travels...marked on the wall in a stone map of sorts.

-along the same walk, we came upon a quiet courtyard that backed on to some shops~ the buildings stood large and majestic in their opulance of space...in contrast to some of the small shophouses we passed. yet their occupants were of humble professions: masseuse, hairdressers and the like.

'one could live as kings here," my hubby ventured...as we continued to explore their 'grand' courtyard.

-the artists' cafe was a gem on a side-road... simply, yet creatively adorned with paintings, beaded lampshades, interesting artefacts, and with an equally-interesting crowd!  the curry is not worth trying, the satay is tasty but pricey, the fried dimsum goes well with the sweet-sour sauce, and potato-wedges too! your best bet would be coming here for it's array of wonderful coffees... both the chilled and hot variety.  a selection of cheesecakes, brownies and caramel slices, are sure to provide a good pick-me-up between shopping and sightseeing~ and excellent to take back to the hotel as a midnite treat! :>

-the kids had a fab time swimming... and i was kept busy following them around the pool with the pretext of 'playing' with them. my dd has become way too mobile in the water...so i spent some time encouarging her to learn how to paddle. my valiant efforts proved to have some results. (all-be-it my pleasanlty-tanned arms ;))  my son was happy to finally put his old snorkelling set to good use. and now that he can swim, he proved to take to it very well... even going so far as to spot tiny ivory-coloured beads on the floor of the deep pool...then proceeding to dive and retrieve them for his dear sister... who plans to make herself a bracelet with them :) 

-while i watched the kids, caught up on my newspapers, swam and played putt-putt, dh did the obvious thing: he happily went shopping :> he came back with a present for each of us...and a few more for him!

-we saw way too many accidents on the way back... a car that had flipped and landed up upside-down in a ditch. another that reduced traffic to a crawl in one direction, and a complete standstill in the other, saw a collision between a bus, a truck and a few other vehicles. the truck had tipped it's load of sacks across 3 lanes and needed a crane to come in to right it. i'm just glad we werent stuck with 2 tired cranky kids in that lane! quiet prayers were said allround... and i noticed dh drive even more sensibly after that.

-at jb we stopped for dinner. ky took part in a 'surfing' competition. (one of these mechanical surfboards where u hv to stay on as long as possible.) he didnt beat the longest time...but he did stay on longer than quite a few adults :) and exactly the same amount of time as a 10-year-old girl...which pleased him even more!!! afterall, no guy wants to be beaten by a girl right! :))  and better yet: he got a giant goodie bag, with a very little pen and some other minor knick-knacks.. of course it was the pen that interested him most... and why? ~well, it's strange mechanism of course! :b

-our fish all survived. my plants thrived. our cat survived...without getting lost!... and our kind neighbour-lady saved all our newspapers... so we cd catch up on the latest H1N1 happenings as soon as we touched down!

-the power didnt trip while we were gone, so nothing in the fridge turned mouldy.

-i remembered to put bleach in the toilets b4 we left...so we didnt come home to a home full of mozzies and mosquito larvae.

-i cleaned the house b4 we left, so i came home to a pleasantly-empty sink, dry washing on the line, and crumb-free floors... but oh the dust that settles in just a few days of absence!

Eeeeks, just got locked out of my own blog cos i'd forgotten the password... that's what holidays do for you!!!   thankfully i struck it lucky on about my 10th attempt! :>

ky was too exhauseted to get up for gym today, so we all had a lie in.  by noon though, i was itching to attack the mess... isnt that what saturdays are for?!

so after much shoo-ing, i finally got dh out the house with kids in tow. instructions: "pls feed them and take them somewhere to play."

and when they came back a few hrs later, the washing-up was done, the laundary was washed and drying, the toilets were fragrant, and the entrance hall looked like someone else's :)

yes, our entrance hall...it had been bugging dh for qt some time...(it's where i teach kay and her buddies) but during the last term, a whole lot of books and papers had got in a tangle. now i've finally  tidied and shifted.   

e school lsp kids' stuff has gone to a completely diff area, neatly kept in a box, basket and accordian-filing system. there's so much of it that i cd actually do with a little cupboard just to keep it all! 

on the opposite side, in the same spot but tidied up, i now have kay's books and worksheets for homeschool, playgroup, and her reading-club. on another shelf i have kynan's extra scout journals and activity bks.

our plants hv moved outside again (they gather too much dust!) and our interest table has been cleaned up to make space for our cat (who's found it to be one of his most comfy sleeping spots!)

all that remains now is for me to cart off 7 bags of goodies for 're-use' faraway, and to send off a couple of parcels to s/a.

once the kids are both in primary, i think i'm gonna hv to open up a little school somewhere so i can put all my resources to further good use :)

...and dh will most likely be veeeery happy to hv our home once again looking like a home...rather than a playschool! :)   bless his soul, he's very patient!

1)  the day i put on a skirt that i'd not worn in ages...

-"mum, you look too girly!"

2)  while reading 'the swiss family robinson' tonight...

-"eeeee!...mussels are so disgusting! i've seen the chinese people eat them at a restuarant.... argh! they make me feel sick!... yugh, dont talk about them!"

3)  after observing dh stuck with his nose in a book for the last 24hrs... (as opposed to e tv~)

-"mum, when u 1st met Bal, did he read books?" :b

our recent outings hv been fab... so nice to just spend time together with mums i've known for ages, and watch the kids just hv fun running about, interacting, and enjoying each others' company.  these hols, were it not for e contatcs i hv with these ladies, i wdnt hv known half of what's going on, and our holiday wdnt be half-as-much fun! ;)  so tq ladies for all yr emails and sms's...keep them flying! :))

-the new safra pool at jurong:

e kids loved it. me too! it's so nice and spacious. lots of different areas to spend time in. and because of e direct sun it receives all day, the water is also v v warm.

-the gym upstairs at e new jurong safra:

we had a free trial. altho' we cant go again because of distance, i found e coaching to be of a high standard. e chap was friendly but good at eeping class control, and in guiding the children to behave in a safe and responsible manner. he was also quick to correct poorly-executed moves, and offered simple solutions to improve form. altho i cdnt attend their classes, he gave me a list of coaches i cd contact in our area to meet our needs. for a juniour fun gym this place wd be a good start. it's bright, airy, plenty of natural ventilation, and very organised in their approach. i like it!  (ky gave e same feedback...)

-the 4-story high 3d maze at e new safra: 

we all got in free which was fab. (in fact we had 2 tkts each...) the big boys went off on their own rt from e start, while i stuck w kay. hadnt gone far when i felt qt claustrophobic... combination of e noise from e ppl, machines, and e all-encompassing net 'walls'. so i sat quietly in 1 spot and helped kay and a few other littlies to catch and feed some balls in the 'bezukas'. as our time ticjked by, i realised i'd hv to head up through e tiny crawl-spaces, in order to get to my mtg point w ky... which was rt at e top exit. i belly-crawled my way through some tight spots with my darling kay leading the way, and got to e top just in time... only to be told that e only way down was by a super duper long slide... which thankfully kay refused (i cdnt hv done it either!) "so back the way u came from" we were instructed... oooh no. by now i was feeling rather giddy and there was no way i was gonna crawl top speed back down where we'd just come from! thankfully 1 chap knew of some stairs which ran outside e building (e fire exit in fact), so kay and i happily jumped our way down. and ky?...he'd app been up and down twice, got too dizzy, taken 2 shorter slides, grazed his elbow, and ended up at e bottom...sending himself to e 'lost property' section while we traversed our way down. "mum i'm so dizzy" was explanation enough... none of us wanted to go again! :) but at least we've done it once :b

-toa payoh puppet shows by artsfest:

we loved this! 'stayed a whole lot longer than we should have. i liked the interactive set-up. the kids were really involved. this aspect was very "un-singaporean". it showed creativity in the set-up and used e space well. community involvement was high. very fun!

-t/p safra 3d maze and safra pool: 

e littlies are now old enough to go off and play in a little group on their own... with the older boys racing around, and only appearing for food and drinks now and then. :) the pool was our 1st visit. it's small and 'safe'...ie easy to keep an eye on even a large grp of kids because of it's size and 'walled-in' design. e water was warm and clean, and only 1 or 2 other swimmers. the older boys had swim-races with me and i won :) and let them win too a couple of times! then we chucked coins in and let them dive for sunken treasure. the littlies also got some coins in their little pool, much to their joy...

-dino exhibit and activities @ plaza singapura:

the 2 chaps presenting e show were full of energy. they presented very well... kept a nice vibe going throughout... made the topic sound very exciting :). having the dinosaurs so near to us in the mall kind-of reminded me of "the night in the museum" show that we'd just seen. kay was happy to see them and asked to be photographed alongside.  she even went back to wave bye-bye to one of them when we went off to buy drinks :) . the boys were happily occupied at the activity tables and needed no supervision, which left me free to help kay stick her dino labels in her little dino-book, and go do some shopping.

-marina barrage:

we took mrt to marina, and free shuttle-bus there and back. altho' it was super hot we were very fortunate... the buses ran regulalry and we didnt hv to wait both ways.... which was a blessing with all the kids! :)   the big boys wasted no time in dashing straight into the fountains...while e girls were more interested in taking their time to eat 1st, and making a point to request sunblock. well done girls! cant forget to take care of yr skin...never too young to start! :b  after that they only came back for food and drinks... later we went up to the roof and watched a few kites, and the kids excitedly sourced for sprinkler valves (yeh, of all the things they cd be looking for!!!) then they headed down the spiral slope, with little R taking a tired tumble. then we headed straight up again and made our way through e viewing gallery... the kids were surprised to lose one mummy along the way ;) or was it planned that way?... so they cd go ard a 2nd time? :) we noticed they werent too keen to leave, esp e big boys... tho the littlies were already fading.

-ben10 show at united square:

i'm not into this really, (but kay app is!)... and a friend mentioned it in passing just e day b4.  so as we needed a place to hv dinner, and as dh wasnt going to be home til late...i decided to stop off there for a couple of hrs on our way home from town.  as luck wd hv it, a show was abt to start just as we finished our dinner...so e kids happily stayed. some scarey 'monsters' went amongst e kids during e show and a few ran out crying... trying to find their mums n dads who were shopping. :-/ eeks! glad i was near e entrance. checked for kay...but she was fine...head held high, and leaning forward to get a better look... so i sat rt back down again to enjoy my chocolate gelato... :)  yes, my little me-time...even if it's just 15min i think i deserve some tlc occassionally :)

WITH the hot sun on my back... i feel alive!

~the last time i felt like that was laying on a towel on the beach some holiday ago.

~and long b4 that as a child i remember sitting in the sun pottering around in the soil for hours.

now in the present day i've had an achey back and body this last week. so bad that it's kept me awake at nite. i was contemplating whether i shd use the $ for osteo /or for a certain outing which ky and a pal hv bn waiting for for a long time....  cos uc nothing has helped for it...until today.  and nature was truly the best medicine!

the kids and i spent e day at e reservoir, along with a bunch of friends. we had a pleasant walk beneath the shaded tree-canopy, e kids did some 'fishing', then they dug about in e clay patch.

after handing out big balls of e squishy stuff, i sat on the grass in the sun, and fashioned a little horse and teddy-bear (kayla's wish), and then smoothed out some clay marbles that ky had made. the kids were busy modeling clay bowls and balls, and just enjoyed their time frolicing in the shallows.  i sat and sat and chatted and chatted. the sun shone warm on my back and it felt sooo goood!

then as e sun set, we washed up and had a picnic on e opposite bank, staying rt up until e dark enveloped us. 

and now, home and settled, the kids are long asleep, and i'm feeling warm and rosey and sublimely relaxed... like one would after a long swim on a hot day. if only i felt this way *every* day...

madly, truly, deeply

sublime.