I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a
rest.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?
He's all right now.

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind

in
his work.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

When fish are in schools they    

sometimes take debate.

The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at
large.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He  

became a hardened
criminal.

Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.

We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on
it.

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky
ground.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

A bicycle can't stand

alone; it is two tired.

A will is a dead giveaway.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

A backward poet    

writes inverse.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count
that votes.

A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can  

get repossessed.

With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat
miner=

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Posted by dixiebeauty

Loved it. It was so funny. :-) I tagged you. Where at in Louisiana did you live?

Jordan Lee

Edited by dixiebeauty on Jul. 30, 2007 at 4:58 AM

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Posted by icart61

Now that's my kind of humor...thanks, icart

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