If there is one aspect of parenting that I'd love to do without it would be potty training. There is just nothing fun or desireable about the entire process. The only desireable is the outcome and even then you can never predict if you'll have a sucessful outcome.

Even so, its time. Its summer now, schooling is in its formal sense, on hold, so its time to break out the potty treats, the undies, the timer and go for it. Tomorrow we go for it. Tomorrow I will be running two little boys to the potty every 15 to 30 minutes. Tomorrow I will hopefully have them spread out to a good hour by the days end, before they need to visit the toilet.

Tomorrow is the last day that I will change a diaper. Now that is kind of sad. I am hoping that God will bless us again so it won't be my last diaper. For sure it won't be my last pull up, but it'll at least be the last diaper I change in a long time.

Part of the entire potty training experience is more than just moving out of buying diapers and wipes. After all we like that. Its like getting a raise! But more its the whole giving up of infant and toddlerhood. They are big boys now. They are real kids, not babies. Its a right of passage for them and for me. I'm not a mommy of babies anymore, and with all honesty, that breaks my heart.

I know that deep down this passage is what has kept me from getting my boys out of diapers sooner. My youngest who will be 3 in just a few weeks, could have been trained probably 4 months ago. My other boy, who is the one with autism, is partially trained but we're hoping for a complete training this time. Since he is already 5, I don't have the same emotional bond as I do with my younger son and potty training him. It just all seems so permanent to say goodbye to babyhood. No more diapers - no more baby.

I am happy that my boys are growing up. They are turning into great kids. Yet, I am longing for another little one to hold. Lord, could you please bless me, even one more time? I promise I won't complain about the diapers at all. I'll even go back to cloth - and I'll enjoy it.

Janelle

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