No more we suspect.... or there is a history of... or most likely she has....  Yesterday, the Geneticist diagnosised my 7 year old daughter with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD), and depending on a few measurements that need to be confirmed from her birth records, she may be upgraded to Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS).  There really is very little difference between the two, the latter has more facial anomalies.  We always had heard the stories that her birth mother was "falling down drunk" as we moved through different departments of the government such as WIC and DSS, but it seemed strange to us and the doctors that Goldilock's younger brother (Tom Sawyer) showed no effects of alcohol, and just the opposite, he is very very bright and growing like a weed.  Because of her brother's success the doctors in the past felt that, although she may be labeled with FASD someday, it was probably that her environment had been so poor/abusive in infancy and that once she was healed from RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder), her development, academics and behavior would catch up.  She is considered to be mostly healed from RAD; but her behavior is still very upredictable, processing is very slow, academics are coming out very poor on tests (as if I didn't already know that), and she came out again with an IQ in the high 70's and now her growth has slowed down a great deal.  She hasn't changed shoe sizes or clothing sizes in 2 years, but has grown taller, a bit.  So back we went to the doctors for another evaluation.

In some ways I feel relieved and in other ways devastated.  My little girl really is bonded to us and knows and wants us as her parents.  I figure it took her 5 years and many, many hours of therapy to get her here.  This is great news.  However, FASD is permanent brain damage and there is no recovering from or healing from it.  There is only learning how to live with it and helping her meet her full potential within it.  I knew in my heart that this was coming for a long time but it is still hard to digest.  This new diagnosis means that she most likely will qualify for CAP, a program that provides a one on one to help her with school, behavior managment, and so on.  This is great since all mental health support is drying up rapidly in this state.  It also means more books to read and a new support group to join which may afford me more tricks of the trade.

I am not at all new to raising complicated children and searching out and finding the gifts God has bestowed upon my little ones.  I have been raising complicated children for 18 years now.  My big teen is meeting his God-given potential and turning into a wonderful young man (who will always need support on the home front), despite dire predictions that he would only be able to function in a group home/institution.  So we embark on this new path with our Goldilocks.

Please pray that we will find the right support and answers to help our little girl ... that she will meet her fullest possible potential.  That we will continue to see her grow and develop. That we will find her true gifts and figure out how to help her bring them to life.

A side note~The doctor begged me to never put her into public school! She said that public school would destroy her fragile self worth that we have worked so hard to achieve. She said Goldilocks was so blessed to be homeschooled and that I should never give up and think that the school system could do better. No worries there...

Blessings,

Dawn

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Posted by Anonymous

I understand those feelings. You wrote what I felt all those years ago when we first heard Ben's and then Anna's diagnoses. And bravo on the homeschooling and the doctor who recognized your efforts! We are getting some good services now in school for our kids but we plan to homeschool at some point. Middle school and high school here will not be a good fit for our kids. ~Kari
www.thoughtspreserved.blogspot.com

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Posted by proverbsmomof3

I know that Goldilocks will see God's will in her life just as your oldest is. They have wonderful parents who guide them and nuture them. God chose you for this special mission and I am sure you are making Him proud.

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Posted by tiredmom

I'm sorry what you have feared was confirmed. It is totally awesome, however, that your doctor is behind your homeschooling efforts--I think that's rare!

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Posted by blessedwith2angels

I think you are doing a great job. You always inspire me with your creativity and patience. I will be praying for Goldilocks.
If you are looking for fun things to do in St. Louis, there are several that are free and interesting.
Forest Park has the zoo (free, except for the children's zoo), the planetarium, the children's hands on science museum, and the Missouri history museum. (They are all free and the kids love them.) Of course, my kids loved the city museum too, but it is not free.
Our family found the Holocaust museum to be very interesting (and free) but it is for older kids.
A place the kids love to eat at is called "Fritz's." They bottle their own root beer and you can watch it being bottled while you eat.
Another favorite is the Souliard Farmer's Market. It is unlike any other farmer's market I have ever seen. It is an awesome place to visit.
If you want to know any details about any of those places, just let me know.
Blessings,
Pam

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Posted by ThreeLittleLadies

She is beautiful. Praise God that He knows us completely and loves each of us so fully! Praise God for putting this special little girl into your home.

Carol

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Posted by lahbluebonnet

Oh I'm praying for you all! Yea about the doc's support for homeschool!
Blessings,
Laurie

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Posted by SandBetweenMyToes

What a sweetie. Bless her heart. But, it is obvious that God has given you and your family the ability and creativity to equip them for a wonderful life. I pray His blessings be poured out on you~your energy, your knowledge, wisdom, creativity, and influence. I pray He will protect her, and lead her in her spirit where her mind cannot comprehend.
I scanned your friends list really quick, and didn't see Julie there. I don't know if you've ever "met" her or not, but she has a FASD teen. Her blog is http://acceptancewithjoy.wordpress.com/. She has quite a number of entries on the subject if you go to her archives.
Letitia

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Posted by solidrock

I am so blessed by your story. I was a product of alchol and drugs ( my real mom) and 13 foster homes. I was given such a bleak forcast for my future and told I would never be able to do so much and should be put in an institution. The Lord had other plans of course! So keep up what you do!

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Posted by Anonymous

My blogger buddy Keri Mae shared similar thoughts after finding out that her youngest, now app. 1 month old, has Down Syndrome. I'll share a summary of what I shared with her. Who better to place a child who will need a little extra TLC with than a parent like you? God has blessed this little cutie with you. I'll keep your strength and encouragement lifted up in my prayers. God will bless you and supply you with everything you need, Dawn.

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Posted by Anonymous

My blogger buddy Keri Mae shared similar thoughts after finding out that her youngest, now app. 1 month old, has Down Syndrome. I'll share a summary of what I shared with her. Who better to place a child who will need a little extra TLC with than a parent like you? God has blessed this little cutie with you. I'll keep your strength and encouragement lifted up in my prayers. God will bless you and supply you with everything you need, Dawn.

Belinda @ With a Taste of Chocolate (forgot to place my John Hancock on the comment the first time)

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Posted by hugs4Him

God bless you all!

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Posted by Hereathome

Sometimes those answers are bittersweet aren't they? Empowering to know what you are dealing with,yet you cannot hide from it anymore (not that you were).

I will add you to my prayers, if you would like for me too.

I read some of your later posts too. Awesome toy cabinet. We are desperately in need of toy organization around here.

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