Carrie has been doing a lot of posting about the 80's lately and all this posting and talking about the 80's has gotten me thinking about a major beef I have with the return of 80's fashion and like Carrie, I'll start with the skinny jean.

You remember them and quite fondly I'm sure.  That long narrow hideously ugly jean that only fit girls under 85 pounds soaking wet, with legs as thin as popsicle sticks.   Girls who during the 80's were nary a twinkle and the one's that were, you could find sitting on mama's knee donning a Winnie the Pooh sweatshirt and eating pop rocks.   A jean that caused many a girl to spend ample time wishing she were related to a member of the Shanghai Circus while contorting herself into unusual positions trying to pull these puppies on. 

It seems at the very moment I embraced the boot cut and wearing my jeans a little lower around my waist, (because they actually do give you the appearance of being thinner and all) and whamo, here comes the skinny jean.  A pair of pants my imagination isn't even thin enough to fit into.   This is without a doubt a garment that was best left and locked down in the eighties, which by the way would have been the last time I was thin enough to wear them.   Oh no, wait... I wasn't then either and maybe that is where my hositility comes from, but we won't go there.

Truthfully, I have never known another decade to incite more groans and hysterical laughter than the 80's.  I certainly need not remind anyone of the fashion sins commited by uwhitting pawns of 80's past?   Really,  is this a decade we need to repeat in any fashion, and please keep in mind I am using this word lightly.  It is as if we all woke up one day and looked back at those photos and realized that we must have been captured by aliens that forced us to dress like total lunatics.   Honestly, there is no other plausible explanation.

Lets take a little walk through time and reminese....there was Cyndi Lauper, Flock of Seagulls, parachute pants, leg warmers, (oh yeah, those are keepers),  fingerless gloves, or just one fingerless glove if you had an heart felt affinity for Michael Jackson, or ehem, Madonna ....oh and lest we forget the mullet.   How many of you poor women had to fight tooth and nail - ten years later-  with your husbands to rid him of that doo?  Believe me, I went a round or two, gloves and all.

So are we doomed to wear huge thigh length shirts with horizontal black and white stripes and waistbands, or will someone stop the madness?  Please.  There needs to be a law, or at least a blanket moratorium on anything even closely related to the 80's.

Truthfully, any designer that brought back these fashion faux pas from the days when my hair was taller than my smallest child, needs to be hung by the neck with a pair of his leg warmers and flogged with a pointy toed ballet slipper.  Then he needs to spend the afternoon with me.  We'll have tea....and chat...and I'll bring my scissors.