Ok, for real, is this really  my life???  I wonder as my daughter crunches away at the cat treats I got for free to feed to my dog?  Cuz we don't have a cat, but that's not the point!  There really is a line in the succession of children that by the time you get to the fourth, you can live with the fact they have a little pet treat in their mouth - of course why won't they eat the food you cook???  Obviously that is another blog day.  I love my kids and I am praying that today I'll remember how much love I've got for them.  :)

Living where the enemy outnumbers me and I'm running out of ammo.  Hardy har har.

Breaking my heart, it seems evident that we will not be able to homeschool at this time.  The children and I are upset, but God knows our hearts and He knows the plans for us.  His Word says he will never leave or forsake us, and Praise Him that He is good - all the time! 

Unfortunately, due to a failed past business and debt and personal debt, we are not able to cover our expenses and the debt.  Fortunately for us, we have family that is willing to help us and we will be moving.  Unfortunately, we won't be able to homeschool at this time, but it's not forever.  Fortunately, God has something to teach us in all of this and He will bring us through it better and stronger.  In the end, I pray that He will use us as a witness.  Right now, I am trying to stick with the basics - Love the Lord your God and Love your neighbor as you love yourself.  Which also means you have to love yourself and I know that there isn't much love these days as I hold onto some past events and bitterness.  I am praying that God will show me what in me makes His heart sad and in baby steps with His help, I am learning to let go and move  on.  So, if you're reading, please pray that God will give us wisdom on all the decisions that need to be made and for our future.  Pray for love.  Pray for strengh and courage.  Praise Him that He blesses us.

Well, my upstairs project has turned the whole downstairs into chaos, but I guess that is what happens when things get moved around, thrown away, given away and put into the proper place.  I guess God works that way, too.  It seems He has to turn the house (me) upside down and toss all the junk and clutter so that everything can be put in its proper place.  God is such a faithful "house"keeper! :)  It inspires me to keep moving forward to get my job done.

We had a busy week last week with VBS at our church.  The whole family  was there every night with some involvement.  No VBS this week, so it seems we should be a little calmer.  We have tons to do and I'd like to throw in some fun stuff, too.  I hope you are all blessed this week!

TGIF.  Thank Goodness It's Friday.  Now that I have a family, that is a funny slogan.  Probably because the work doesn't end just because it's Friday or 5 o'clock or anything else.  As a mom, you are always on duty.  But there is still something about Friday....maybe all those years in school program which is what they are supposed to do - turn you into a good little citizen.  Well, either way, I want to be thankful.....thankful for my dh who is off to work for our family, thankful for my children without whom I'd probably be bored to death with a closet full of shoes, thankful for my home that God is so good to us - His Grace is AMAZING, thankful for coffee and better yet the vanilla caramel creamer in the coffee, thankful that we have a huge thing of oatmeal, thankful for the end of VBS.  I am off to do my next slot of time on my upstairs project.  I hope that you all have a wonderful Friday filled with things you are thankful for and blessed in so many ways.

Oh yeah, and I'm thinkful for the white camelia bush - it smells heavenly!

i am not a very patient person.  this comes from a long line of not so patient women that became impatient wives and impatient mothers.  don't get me wrong, i love these women, but the genetic legacy is lacking in the sweetly patient department.  couple this with a certain monthly visitor and i am off the charts (psycho).  i wonder if it's okay biblically to take drugs for this sort of thing?  i should study it.  i really don't like meds and i'm not that reliable in taking anything consistently, so it probably doesn't matter.  so first, please pray that i will one day conquer this beast.

i HATE laundry.  before (if anyone is actually reading this) you say i should love it, please understand that i do not have the best servant's heart right now.  i am filled with selfishness and self-pity and all around self-loathing (or maybe just loathing of most things in general).  i should just be laying prostrate on the floor crying out to Jesus to forgive me and all of my horrible sins, but here i am "airing my dirty laundry" so to speak (or type or whatever).  pray for the therapists because surely my wild youngins precious children will need one by the time i am done screeching.  wait, did i digress????  laundry (stay on task), i hate it.  and right now i hate the washing machine.  i guess it's not the machine's fault that it's messed up (right after we just got a new stinkin' dryer) and i have to fill the tub and got caught up helping ds with school and water leaked all over the floor (sadly this is not the first time this has happened).  now i have another load or two of towels to wash - yay for me.

and of course while ds was doing school he did something to the computer and it was jealous of above mentioned piece of ....washing machine, so it had to freak out and i had to cold shut down the blasted thing so i could reply to another blogger who's kids are actually hurt and actually has REAL problems.  so, humbly, i will end this crazy post.  thankfully, i don't have to carry the wash to the stream and beat it on the rocks.  thankfully, we are realatively healthy.  thankfully, i will have 4-5 quiet hours this afternoon thanks to my babysitting co-op.  thankfully, even with all my self-diagnosed genetic flaws, God deems me fearfully and wonderfully made and loves me.  LORD, shine your love through broken me!

Do you know about Homeschool Tracker?  Well, check it out www.homeschooltracker.com.  I am trying to stay organized, and this is a great little tool to help, now I just pray for consistency.  I am using the basic software.  I am not required to keep track of all the details, but it'll be my back-up if anything happens.

A couple of years ago when we homeschooled, we used the Abeka curriculum.  I really love it, but it is very "classroom".  We'll reuse the 2nd grade stuff that I have as much as possible.  I considered the DVD program, but I couldn't see my kids watching that much tv for school and not get bored.  So far, we are liking the time4learning curriculum.  I would like to check out Apologia Science, Heart of Dakota and Singapore Math.  Do you have any knowledge of these??  I'd also love to try a unit study.  Sometimes, it is really overwhelming - all the stuff out there.

Well, beyond that, summer is here!   It rolled in with a wicked thunderstorm.  Happy Friday!

Okay, so government school is out, and home school is in.  I was going to wait, but the kids are ready to go, so why hold them back??  We are trying an online curriculum called www.time4learning.com.  The kids like it.  I will also throw as much as I can into the mix - especially reading.  Sadly, I think my 4th grader has more work than the 2nd grader, but nothing is impossible.

I am also busy with a just turned 2 yr old and 10 mo old.  I am considering cloth diapering for economic purposes and hanging clothes to dry and making more stuff homemade.  It can be challenging for me, but I pray I can make steps each day to be the wife/mother/person that I want to be.

Well, if you're reading, please send your tips for anything and keep your prayers coming.

My week......well, I will just give it to God.  On the prayer list - we need to sell a truck.  With baby dd, we outgrew it.  We'll put baby dd on the list as she just went to doc yesterday and had such a bad ear infection, they gave her a shot of antibiotic at the office.  She's the 4th and we've never had to do this and #3 has tubes.  She is also having some respiratory issues, so we're back to the nebulizer and we had to add a 2nd med for this.  Ugh.  I hate having sick kids.  My older ds had some kind of stomach bug this week which involved him vomiting strawberries down my bed and onto my floor.  Ew, dh convienently asleep on couch.  Luckily, we have hardwood floors.  Did I mention our dryer is on the fritz.  Dear Lord, when I prayed to simplify my life, hanging laundry was not what I meant.   Then last night, my microwave went dead.  Ack!  It did revive itself somehow, but I'm just waiting for it to completely keel over.

On another note, I tried for the first time to make from scratch biscuits last night.  Let's just say they got tossed immediately.  I talked to my mom and she said she thought it was probably the recipe, so I will try again with another recipe.  If anyone reading this has made from scratch biscuits, do you use self-rising flour or all-purpose?  Also, looking to make from scratch granola bars.  Do you have a good recipe??

Oh yeah, pray for my husband's ankle.  He has hurt it somehow and he is a soccer referee, so we need healing.  Thanks.

My older ds has a baseball game tonight.  Somehow, I have to replace the hat that he lost at my dd's soccer tournament.  I swear I am going to string that boy up!  Well, gotta put laundry out to dry - going "green" right now.  Haahhaaaaa.

Well after my down in the dumps last blog posting, let's bring out some sunshine.  I have been reading and have just been fascinated at the strong women out there!  So, roll up my sleeves and get to work because unfortunately, Mary Poppins will not be visiting anytime soon, hence the laundry and toys will not be putting themselves away.  hahahaahahaaaa.  Sorry I have to laugh at that smiley!

So, my blessings.  We had a good but long weekend.  It was the opening day for our little league, so my older son had his first game of coach pitched baseball.  Our older daughter plays soccer and their league had a tournament.  I had to wrangle a toddler and baby, and we got too much sun, but the weather was nice until the end of the last game.  Yay!  My baby has a cold - poor thing.  She looks miserable, and I can't believe she is 8 mos old tomorrow!  Now I know how families get so large - the baby stage goes by so quickly and she was never much of a cuddler - get up and go somewhere since the womb!  The toddler is into everything.  My job is to clean, his is to go behind me and mess things up!  Stinker.  Older ds is, well, he just is my ds.  If examined, he would probably be labeled ADHD.  I'll just say he's that kid that should be on a farm with work to do all day and no processed food or refined sugars to eat.  Then, he might be less inclined to open his mouth and say things he should not or do things he should not or get into things he should not.....surely someone understands my point.  Older dd is the oldest and at this point is my responsible child.  She had a sleepover over the weekend, and unfortunately, there does not seem to have been any sleep!  So I guess that means she just had an "over" at her friends house.  My dh is out working hard for us all right now, so I should, too.  Laundry, dishes and dirty floors are calling my name.

Dear Lord,

Please mold me into that perfect woman, wife and mother that it seems everyone I know BUT me is.

Thank you.

Seriously, why does it seem this way pretty much all the time?  Why do I feel like the only person with a sink full of dishes (even though the dishwasher might be empty!), a pile of laundry to be washed (better change that to mountain), another pile of clean clothes piled up in the living room, clutter, stuff, papers, mail, junk, pacifiers, shoes, etc. everywhere.  Hmmmmm.  I'm sure someone out there has a little mess, but mine just always feels overwhelming.  I have a small home and minimal closet space.  Perhaps ruthless purging?  Question?  How many clothing items do you allow each person? 

Positives - 4 amazing kids.  We do have a home to make a mess in.  Wonderful husband that works hard for us.  God's Grace.  Our friends child with the seizures has been diagnosed with epilepsy (please continue to pray for guidance and wisdom regarding the meds - thanks!).  Good friends and family.  It might be peanut butter and beans but we will eat for at least another week.

So, my decision to go back to homeschooling is 1. because I do not like our public school system (and there is a lot I don't like.....government involvement, no discipline of these children and their parents attitude of school being a glorified babysitter, etc), 2. our private Christian school of choice is pretty expensive and my husband would like me to be home, so money is tight, which leads to 3. we are too busy not to homeschool.  We are pretty active with working, church, sports, etc.  4. I really realize now that I have the younder two kids that I am never going to get any of this time back, and I want my kids around, and I want to mold and shape them.  I can work until death for money, but all the money in the world will not buy back my children's childhood, so we're willing to sacrifice.

All of this being said, I got the news over the weekend that our preferred private school might be able to offer quite a bit of assistance, and I should check it out.  Later I told dh that I would pray on it, but when I got the news I didn't not have a feeling of "let me run right out right now and apply!".  I think even between the two, I want to homeschool right now.  It almost seemed like a temptation which is silly, but it's the only way for me to describe it.  My heart is just led in the homeschooling direction.  So, anyone reading, would you go for a private school over homeschooling if you were able?

On a side note, I must ask for prayer for a friend and neighbor.  They discovered their youngest has a mild form of epilepsy over the weekend, and then today their oldest fell and needs stitches for his head.  It's as if they are under attack, so I pray for them that their faith will be strong and any and all evil spirits will be rebuked and sent running!

Happy Wednesday,

Penny

grant me the perseverance.  Today was one of those days that I was ready to "yank" my kids out of public school.  I am really trying to hold out for the end of this year, but it just seems to get harder each day.  Lesson learned, reaping what I've sown (ie the decision we made to do public school). 

Well, if anyone is reading, please pray for me and my family.  I have tons going on and need all the prayer warriors I can get! 

I am really counting down the days....about 50 of them until the last day of public school.

I hope this forum is a blessing for our next step....going back to homeschooling.  Start praying NOW!

Background:  I am married to a wonderful man and we have 4 amazing children.  Now, I have homeschooled before - for a year (dd 2nd, ds k) with a baby in tow, and I started working part-time in our church nursery.  Next step get pregnant and bump up my working hours????  Well, God had plans for us, and I must say I love our fourth blessing!  After 3 brown-eyed wonders, I got my blue-eyed youngin.  Okay, so why didn't we continue with the homeschooling?  Hmmm, I guess a lot of factors that rolled into one.  On a positive note, the teachers are nice, and the reading specialist ds got was awesome.  Now, I am ready to bring my little tribe back into the home.  I need to simplify life all the way around.  I need to bring us closer to God.  I need to get control of our stuff and money and physical well-being.  So, I am thinking of what I just typed and laughing on the inside at my vain little heart.  What makes me think I will be in control of anything?  Clearly, changes need to be made.

My husband would ask "how do you eat an elephant?"  And the answer is "one bite at a time".