Posted in Ponderings

I don't like resolutions. I've never kept them. For the past few years I've decided I would read my Bible through in a year, following a schedule. Let's just say I'm waaaaaaay ahead for this year... But I did have some goals in my mind for this year. So far I've missed the mark quite a bit.

I wanted to read my Bible everyday. I would like to do a Bible study. It would have to be done alone, since I don't get out much & don't have a church. But that's okay. I still haven't done either of those. I wanted to drink the minimum requirement of water for me, 64oz, daily, & take my vitamins daily. I've missed that a bit as well, although getting better. Generally, as far as caring for everyone & everything, I'm last on the list. Actually, lately, I haven't even been making it onto the list!

The stress & strain are showing. Six kiddos - my oldest is severely autistic, non verbal, vaccine injured as a baby. Second & third aspie (asperger's) type kiddos. My 2yo, breaks my heart, he's on the spectrum. He lost any language he had developed his first year after weaning. The antibiotics & anti inflammatories & steroids he had his first year did him in. He's definitely got systemic yeast. He's acting like my oldest, with some twists, & it's hurting me terribly lately.

I'm working so hard at the biomed, wanting so much for something to make a difference for them. I want them healed. But nothing is without bumps in the road. My baby twins; they make me smile just when I need it. They're teething & needy. I wish I had all day to cater to them, but there's so much to do. They get a lot of mommy though. I'm beyond tired lately, both physically & emotionally.

There's improving my diet, healing my own candida; these things would help. The EBV (Epstein Barr Virus) is flaring a bit on me lately, but that figures with the lack of attention I've been giving my diet. Weight loss is needed, but would be gravy, because right now I've really got to aim for health.

Discipline - obedience - those were my other goals, for me! I need to follow the Lord closer. I'm definitely going downhill the more time I allow myself to not pull closer.

I've got a lot to do. Maybe one thing at a time, one day at a time...