Posted in Ponderings

So happy February here... my first entry this month on this blog. Thought I abandoned it before it even got started, huh?  Nope, I'm still here!

A lot of lessons seem to be pointing in the same direction for me lately. I've been reading a book to my kiddos lately called Making Brothers & Sister Friends by Sarah, Stephen, & Grace Mally. It's really an amazing read, considering the kids wrote it, while being kids together. The two were a bit older, but still, these are siblings in the midst of being, well, siblings, which isn't so easy!  It's a lot easier to look back & say this is how it should have been done, but they were in the middle of it still at the time of the writing.

We've gotten to a section on humility. They are saying this is the basis for every good relationship. A lot of problems I've had with people in the past, mostly "BC" (before Christ, in other words, before being saved), had to do a lot with pride. Not just mine, but still, if someone doesn't get over it nothing is going to give. I've been taught to "get over it" several times. Still, I struggle with this issue a lot.

My son found this to be a tough nut to swallow. Back down? When he knows he's right??? How can God ever expect him to do that???? Well, I know He does, but frankly I need work on this as well. It is a tough nut, but it can really soften & bring me closer to the Lord when I practice this. It doesn''t feel right at first, but then Satan really wants us to always stand up for ourselves, & make sure our right are known! However, this is not God's way. It's certainly my human instinct & first response however.

What about apologizing? I require this from my children, even toward each other, however, do I always practice this necessary act as a Christian? Well, , not really... I do apologize to my children. As much as I don't want to, I do. It doesn't feel good to start, but when I see their reactions I know it's the right thing to do. With adults, such as hubby, it's a lot tougher for some reason. Perhaps it's fear of a possible rejection, or "eat crow" type feeling. Whatever it is they're just excuses & I need to get on with it because as a Christian it's the right thing to do.

Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.

Storyman has kind of a habit of doing things that are good & reporting them to me. He also tends to like to say he's proud of himself for such & such thing that he did.

Matthew 6:1-4 1 “Take heed that you do not do your charitable deeds before men, to be seen by them. Otherwise you have no reward from your Father in heaven. 2 Therefore, when you do a charitable deed, do not sound a trumpet before you as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory from men. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward. 3 But when you do a charitable deed, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4 that your charitable deed may be in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will Himself reward you openly.^"

It's important for us to remember we're not doing good for other people's reactions, we're doing good for Him, because of what He did for us.

I told him it's okay to feel good about things we do that are right but we shouldn't get "puffed up", as they say in the Thomas series. We should always remember it's only through the Lord that we're able to do anything. I have to remember that too. Sometimes I'll get that "Wow, I got all that done today, great!", feeling, however, right after I remember my life verse & title of my main blog:

Philippians 4:13  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Then there's an immediate, "I didn't do anything" feeling! I can't do anything without Him. I also then remember all the things I didn't do, quite possibly because I'm still not relying on Him enough to carry me through the day.

Even my other blog has made me evaluate these feelings. Why am I blogging? Do I want some sort of "credit" for this? Do I want attention? I enjoy it, yes. I like to spread the word about autism & its effects on the children & family. I like to write. I enjoy sharing pictures & family happenings. I do enjoy others good feedback when I get it. I have enjoyed a few awards. However, I have to keep in mind that I want the blog to honor Him, & I have to let it be His. I can't do it without Him, so it's His. In fact I changed the heading above the award from "Awards" , to "Thank you!". I am thankful & should be.

I'm not entitled to any of it. Everything in my life is His. If I keep that in mind I won't be "performing" for others; I'll be watching everything I do making sure it's something He wants to do for me & something that will be pleasing to Him. It's called "dying to self". It's something I need to practice a lot more. It's something He's working on in me & I am thankful for that. I need it!

My Bible reading lately has been about David. What an incredible person; one of the best in terms of being close to God, being His, following Him, His servant... yet so very humble. The book we've been reading also mentions many other great Biblical people who practiced humility such as Job, Isaiah, Daniel, John the Baptist, John the disciple, etc. Jesus taught the greatest humility when He humbled Himself to die on a cross for me.  When I think of that, well, gee whiz, who am I that I need credit for anything!?