Posted in Ponderings

Not keeping certain foods in the house is a very good thing to do. Sometimes I've found that I'm just really thirsty, so some filtered water helps (helps the milk supply too). Then other times reaching for a protein or a piece of fruit helps. I did my online shopping again & we'll pick it up later. The list is all our staples, nothing "extra" except some Fig Neumans that a couple of the kiddos enjoy. They're actually quite good (like a healthier version of the standard Fig Newton) & satisfy just fine with one or two.

Lately I've been very down about some personal matters. It's quite difficult feeling completely alone in this journey, with no interest from one who of all people should be very interested. Financial matters are always a huge concern, & that's quite understandable. I can only put those matters into the Lord's Hands. There's direct involvement needed, to truly make things work. There's an attitude of unconditional love & acceptance, & a lack of care for other's opinions needed as well. Patience & care for other's feelings is a must. These children are up against the world, & I feel like I'm all they have sometimes.

I read a book to the children everyday, a little at a time, & it talks a lot about "dying to self". We have no rights & we have nothing; it's all God's. We have to give it all to Him. Meekness is essential in keeping up a relationship, even when it's not mutual. Depending on who we are dealing with, & how much we have to deal with that person, this is a monumental task. With another Christian, they may find conviction when responded to with meekness, however, when dealing with non-Christians, this is not always the case. Having felt punched in the proverbial gut too many times leaves one downtrodden & dejected. There are some I have had to separate from, & keep healthy distances... but there are others I cannot do this with. Presently the problem is how to press on in such a situation & try to meet it in a godly way (which I have not been doing). Paul learned to be happy in all circumstances; so must I...