My Storys

Mar. 31, 2008 - Lesson 7 of Writing Workshop

I have finaly got updated with Writing Workshop For Kids lesson 7.  So here it is:

Before:  It rained all week during our camping trip.
After: It rained all week through our camping trip and everything was flooded. It was cold and misrable because there was nothing to do in the rain.


Before: Katie saw a scary sea creature at the aquarium.
After: Katie saw a very big and  furious-looking sea creature at the aquarium. It had red eyes and spikes with a cruel mouth looking mouth.

One more time!

Before: As I entered the cave, I found the object of my search-the lost treasure of the Ancients.
After: As I entered the cave, I found the object of my goal - the lost treasure of the Ancients. It was cold when I touched it and it looked inviting. I opened the rusty old lid and saw lots of jewlery, money, a ring and a big gold cup.
     
                 To look at Mrs.Marlow's blog, click here.

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Feb. 4, 2008 - Lesson 6 of Writing Workshop

This is writing lesson 6.

This lesson is about not using "dead" words. It means that books aren't  interesting if we use "dead" words. Here are some "dead" words:

Neat, really, funny, scary, delicious, cute, messy, very, awesome, big, gorgeous, beautiful, pretty, nice, great, cool, wonderful, awful, fantastic, bad, good, dirty, boring.

Of course we need to use "dead" words sometimes but not all the time.

Here is a picture of my "really cool, very awesome, fabulous" ship.





This is what it says on my third piece of paper for an example of how her room looked like instead of saying, her room was messy.

Her room was exactly how she had left it- the bed unmade, yesterday's school clothes hanging carelessly over a chair, and her nightgown lying in a heap on the floor. Books and papers lay atop her chest of drawers, with stood open. A dusty saddle blanket lay discarded in a corner, completed the unappealing scene.


So this is what I did.

In my bedroom my pink fluffy slippers lie beside my bed. Our key-board sits in the corner and my drawers are next to it.On the wall,my books stay in my 3 book shelfs. And on my drawers sits my doll-house with my purple-pink CD player.

Well, what did you think? To do writing lessons with Mrs. Marlow, click here

                                             Bethany




 
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Jan. 28, 2008 - Lesson 5 of Writing Workshop

Lesson 5:

Character: Joanne Anderson ( Jo )
Emotion: Happy

Jo  got up from her bed on her birthday and got dressed then went down stairs. "Hey come here" her brother yelled in her ear. "I have a surprise for you"! He led her out to the barn and she saw a horse. "Is that for me"? She asked. She felt her heart starting to pound. and she jumped up and down in excitement! "I will call her Penny" Jo decided.

Another character: Penny
Emotion: Uneasiness

While walking through the woods with Jo, Penny pricked up her ears and stoped. "What's the matter girl?" said Jo. Jo didn't see a hunter with a gun while Penny was stamping her feet. Jo looked where Penny was looking. Jo laughed out loud nervously when she saw what Penny was looking at.  "Oh it's all right!" she said to Ginger. "It is just a hunter or something walking through the woods!" she said her voice shaking. Penny still began to shy away and shake her mane.



  To do writing lessons with Mrs. Marlow, click here.


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Jan. 16, 2008 - Lesson 4 of Writing Workshop

Joanne Anderson ( Jo ) is a 11 year old and is the youngest in her family. She lives in  in Australia ranch called Rocky R Ranch. She loses her temper which  gets her in to trouble. Jo has long blond hair which is  plaited and has green grey eyes. She often goes out for walks with her horse Ginger in the forests. Usually she gets in trouble for forgetting to do what she is told to do. Also likes riding her horse, and playing with her family and friends. She has one sister that is married but has 3 brothers: One called Thomas, who's 16, David, 14, and two twin brothers: Harry and Harold, age 12

To do writing lessons with Mrs. Marlow, click here

                                                    Bethany

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Jan. 9, 2008 - Lesson 3 of Writing Workshop

This is lesson 3 with Mrs. Marlow. Click here to take part in writing lessons.

Character: Joanne Anderson.   Has long eyelashes, and long brown hair, and  has rosy cheeks with green-gray eyes.

Personality traits:  Friendly, forgetful, quick tempered brave, a bit cheeky and adventurous.

Likes/Dislikes:  Likes horses, playing with her friends, and tell jokes. She dislikes homework and school because shes always wanting to go out to ride her horse, Penny and play with her friends. 

Character: Penny. Has a long glossy mane, and a white star in his forhead. He also has 1 white sock.

Personal traits: Tame, brave and smart.

Likes/Dislikes: Likes eating apples, riding with Jo and walking in the woods with Jo. Dislikes strangers.

                                     Well, what did you think? Bethany

                  

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Jan. 6, 2008 - Lesson 2 of Writing Workshop

The book is called Crazy Horse. The author of this book is called Jenny Oldfield.

Write the name of the character you really like: Kirstie

Write the name of the character you didn't like:  Wes Logan

What I like about the character: Kirstie is funny, likes horses, she's adventurous, serious, and brave.

Why I don't like about "the bad guy": Wes Logan is a thief and steals horses from Ranches and lies, and is very nasty. But in the end he gets put in prison for stealing the horses from Kirstie's Mum's Ranch.

To take part in writing lessons with Mrs. Marlow, click here.

                                                                      Bethany

                                                        

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Jan. 4, 2008 - Lesson 1 of Writing Workshop

I have started up a story blog to put my writing lessons in. This is lesson 1 for the writing workshop that suzyscribbles has done with lots of people. Click here  I'm not sure how to add a button yet.

Book: Elsie's Endless Wait   Author: Martha Finely

Character: Elsie Dinsmore age 8

Setting: New Orleans in a house called Roselands

Problem: Elsie's father is away at collage.  Elsie has never seen him before and wants him to return.

Exciting events: Elsie uncle gets Elsie into big trouble. Arthur breaks his fathers watch and gets into mischief.

Solution: Elsie's father returns.

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