Hi ya! Scroll down my blog to read Chapter 1 and 2, the let me know what you think. :-)
PS hope you like it, and if you point out any spelling points or something, just comment.
The sun was rising as Joanna Anderson was awaking. Sleeping on a hard, cold ground with wet night dew made Jo wish she had been more thankfull for the bed she had at home. She sat up and looked around franticly, looking for the mare and the little fillie. She spotted them not far off, the mare eating grass and the little foal frolicking round her mother's side. Thank goodness, she sighed with instant relief. She rose and clucked to the mare, and it followed her. Were is the way out of this tangle of a forest? she thought with an uncomfortable feeling. Lord, please protect us from any danger, she prayed silently. Then she realised how hungry she was. Maybe I could catch a fish, she thought. I've read somewere that you can 'tickle' a fish and catch it with your hands.And I'm so thirsty too, the little fillie will be all right with its mother's milk, but the mare needs something to drink too. She looked around but heard nothing of a gurgeling stream. It looks like I'll have to look for one. she thought unhappily.
~
A little while later she found one, and drank her fill. Then, after maybe an hour of trying, she caught a smallish fish, but it got away. Then after all her efforts, she caght one, then knocked it out with a rock. Hmm... she thought. How will I start a fire to cook it? I don't know how to. In fact, I don't know anything about survival. She sat down and put her hand against a tree to level her self, and it was only when she sat down when she realised that she had blood on her hand. She was rather confused, because she knew she hadn't a cut and felt no pain. What on earth?... she thought, then she saw it. Prints, maybe bigger than an adult's hand. Jo froze. Bears...she thought, a shiver travelled down her spine. Fish...they like fish. She glanced down at the fish in her hand. I'll make a run for it on the mare, she thought instantly. "Come here," she whistled softly. She slipped on bareback and urged her into canter. Jo was thankfull the fillie had sense to follow her mother. Suddenly she heard a low growl. Jo was filled with fear. Bears can easily outrun people, she thought. But I wonder can they out run horses? Should I risk it? She urged it into a gallop, hoping the fillie would have strength to catch up. She slowed down to trot, and looked back, the fillie was now by her side. The bear, a huge big brown thing, was running. Jo knew if she didn't act quickly, the foal, the mare, or even herself would be killed.
~
Jo slowed back down to a trot then stopped and turned the mare around. She dug into her pocket, and bought out the fish. She flung it with all her might and it hit the bear's snout, then bounced onto the ground by its paw. The bear sniffed around then caught hold of the fish. What if it isn't enough for the bear, then it comes closer to us? Jo worried. she dismounted from the mare then picked up a few rocks and pelted the bear with them. The bear soon got angry and tired of getting pelted and soon crawled out of sight. Jo heaved a huge sigh of relief. Now, if only I could get my horse and go home, this sure is one hang of a mess I'm in.
Does anyone have a suggestion for a title for my story? This is what it is about, if you don't know.
When Joanna Anderson's little black horse gets stolen, she sets off to find it then after searching for it she gets lost and comes across a bear in the forest....Food was another problem. She then finds herself waking up on a ship bound for China, how can she get home?
Chapter 2
This is so rubbish, thought Jo later.I wish I had never left the house....I wish...Stop it! she scolded herself. What would happen if I had slept in, and I never heard anything? What would happen, if I walked down to the field, and found her gone, gone for ever? A pile of "what ifs" filled her mind.
~
A little later, she heard a few voices. "Now, Jim." a rough, harsh voice demanded attention.
"What now?" She heard another man's voice. "You take the Cedar trail, and I'll take the Pine Trail, and then the two trails meet after a couple of miles. And make sure the little black horse is tied securely. If you come 'cross anyone, just say yer horse escaped, an' you been lookin' all night looking fer it." Jo realised that they were talking about her little black horse, Stormy. How dare they take my horse? she stormed, digging her finger nails into her palm untill it hurt.. She then heard a shrill whinny, then a crack of a whip.
"Alright, Pete," Jim said, "but what will happen if both the trails don't meet?" he said a little uneasily.
Jo then heard an angry voice. "Are you calling me a liar, you little cream puff?" Pete splutered.
"N-no."
"Good. Lets get going, before dawn starts breaking." Jo quickly hid herself behind broad tree, realising that she was standing no more than 10 feet away. The two men had somehow gotton on the other side of the barbed wire fence. Should she dare jump it? No, she decided. It was much too risky. Or wasn't it? Okay, she gave in to herself. "Allright, then, girl." she spoke soothingly to the mare. "All right....1, 2, 3, go!" She gave her a nudge, and she sprang to a canter obediantly. She leaned forward and jumped it clear. "Well done!" Jo whispered and gave her a pat on the neck. What now? she thought nervously. The "Cedar Trail" and the Pine Trail" Jo had never heard of. Both men were out of sight. Suddenly Jo was gripped with fear. How did she manage to find herself in the middle of forest? What was the way out of it? All sorts of dangers sprung to Jos mind like a wild rabbit springing into the hedge. Jo knew by the ranch hands stories that forests were down-right dangerouse. Bears, deadly snakes and all sorts of dangerouse things could be lurking there. Plus, what would she have to eat? Berries and....and...what else would there be to have for a decent meal? Jo tied the mares reins to a tree then took her off coat and rolled it up for a pillow. She had slept no more than 15 minutes, when she heard panting and a tiny baby-like sound. She looked and to her surprise and shock she saw a little chestnut filly. Shock, fear and excitment took hold of her all at once. How stupid of me not to think of her being pregnant! How could I be so dumb?
Right!Finished lesson 10 and 11 (phew!) It is about starting your first chapter. Here is mine. I'll tell you what my story is going to be called once I've finished it (is that all right or do I have to post it now?) I know it's not that long of a chapter. I can't think of more to add at the end of it. If you have any ideas, please comment or PM me. =)
Chapter 1
Creak…..squeak…….squeak……..
The noise of a creaking object awoke Joanna Anderson from a troubled sleep. Jo sat up and rubbed her tired eyes and looked at her stopwatch that was at the side table at her bed. 3:30 in the morning. What a time to wake up at! But then she thought, what did wake me up? She jumped out of bed and pulled on some clothes. She walked across the room to her door and went to see if it creaked. No. Then what did? The only thing that creaks and squeaks is the field gate…The field gate! I think I’ll just check on Stormy, decided Jo in an instant. She ran down the stairs 3 at a time and arrived at the bottom with a thump. I hope my parents didn’t hear that! She thought. She crept cautiously over to the back door and opened it quietly. She took a deep breath and started to walk over to the field of 3 acres of land that held 10 working and breeding horses. Though Jo’s pony wasn’t a breeding horse or a working one though. She walked over and tried to see if Stormy was in there, but it was a bit dark. “Stormy, come here!” Jo expected her black, 14.3hh pony come trotting over, if he wasn’t asleep. She climbed over the large metal 5-barred gate that led into the field. It’s no use. I can’t see him anyway. she thought. She started to retrace her footsteps when she heard galloping hooves with and two or three people riding and one was leading a horse...She turned around and saw the person, whoever he was, get away even more each second.
~
“That’s my pony those dirty horse thiefs stole!” exclaimed Jo out loud. She started to break into a run. “You come back here and return my horse!” yelled Jo. One of them laughed - a wicked, harsh laugh. “You come and get him yourself, if you can!”
Jo slowed down and her heart was in her throat. Calm down, calm down, she kept repeating to herself. It was no use trying to catch Stormy now. Horses can easily out-
run an 11 year old at full speed. Jo slowed down and studied what he was wearing. A leather jacket, jeans and a cowboy hat with piece of expensive red and white plaited leather around the brim. Jo had run quarter of a mile away from the farm. What on earth shall I do? She asked herself, thinking if she asked herself it would give an answer. She stopped and snapped her fingers. “That’s it!” she said out loud. She jogged all the way back to the farm. I just can’t go back inside and hop under those cosy quilts. I have to do something. And soon. I have to find my pony myself. She unlatched the field gate and selected one of the ranch horses, a fat, barral shaped mare. No wonder she's so fat, Jo thought to herself. She's grumpy and unwilling for work. None of the ranch hands wants to bother riding her. But over the months, I've at length made friends with her. Jo slipped on a bridle and fastened the buckles as fast as her clammy hands would let her. She slipped on her bare-back, and urged her into canter. No one saw her slip onto the night.
[chapter 2 coming soon]
Lesson 11.
'Nut shell summaries'
1# Black Beauty (book)
Black Beauty grows up in a lovely meadow and is very happy until when he gets sold he realizes that some owners can be downright cruel.
2# Nobody's Pony When Cathy finds a pony in a field she begins to pretend that the pony is hers until when she enters in a gymkhana without asking and hurts his leg she realizes she is in deep trouble.
3# Any suggestions for a title? When Jo's pony gets stolen, she sets off to find it and then she gets kidnapped in the process, and finds herself shangied to China.....How can she ever get back to her home?
I wonder why I've never thought to explore the other end of the beach, thought Jo looking around. What on earth is that? she asked herself, casting a gaze on a blue, half-hidden object covered in seaweed. With a sudden burst of energy, she climbed over rocks and shells until she reached it. 'Look here!' help me uncover all the seaweed and rubbish!' hollered Jo. 'Coming,' said Jason, not coming at all, scuffing his feet on the sand. 'Look what I found now,' said Jo excitedly a few minutes later. 'What do you s'pose it is?' asked Jason while he tried to snatch the box.
Hi everyone, to look at Mrs. Marlow's aka skmarlows blog click here.
Here is my writing lesson. I got the part about little red riding hood before I looked at the next page.
Character: Jason Anderson, Joanna's brother. Setting: Fishing in a creek on a summers day.
This is boring, thought Jason. Patience seemed to have wriggled out of him and replaced it with out any patience at all. It's quite different if I catch a thirty pounder pike but I'm catching nothin'. He opened his lunch parcel and gave tidbits to his dog Jeffery. He didn't mean to but with the long walk to the creek and a big lunch proved to be too much. He fell asleep for about 15 minutes and then he was rudely awaken by Jeffery licking his cheek. Just as well because his fishing rod he left on the ground started to move about! He jumped up and up he pulled a long slimy green spotty pike with a row of short sharp teeth. "A pike," Jason breathed. He couldn't wait till dinner that night!
I have finaly got updated with Writing Workshop For Kids lesson 7. So here it is:
Before: It rained all week during our camping trip. After: It rained all week through our camping trip and everything was flooded. It was cold and misrable because there was nothing to do in the rain.
Before: Katie saw a scary sea creature at the aquarium. After: Katie saw a very big and furious-looking sea creature at the aquarium. It had red eyes and spikes with a cruel mouth looking mouth.
One more time!
Before: As I entered the cave, I found the object of my search-the lost treasure of the Ancients. After: As I entered the cave, I found the object of my goal - the lost treasure of the Ancients. It was cold when I touched it and it looked inviting. I opened the cracked and rusty brown lid. It creaked when I opened it and I saw old money, goblets, pearl necklaces diamond rings.
Here is a picture of my 'ship.' I don't like drawing ships! (that's why it is not good.)
Her room was exactly how she had left it- the bed unmade, yesterday's school clothes hanging carelessly over a chair, and her nightgown lying in a heap on the floor. Books and papers lay atop her chest of drawers, with stood open. A dusty saddle blanket lay discarded in a corner, completed the unappealing scene.
So this is what I did.
In my bedroom my pink fluffy slippers lie beside my bed. Our key-board sits in the corner and my drawers are next to it.On the wall,my books stay in my 3 book shelfs. And on my drawers sits my doll-house with my purple-pink CD player.
Well, what did you think? To do writing lessons with Mrs. Marlow, click here
Jo got up from her bed on her birthday and got dressed then went down stairs. "Hey come here" her youngest pesky brother yelled in her ear. "We have a surprise for you"! He led her out to the barn and she saw a frisky black pony. "Is that for me"? She asked. She felt her heart starting to pound. and she jumped up and down in excitement! I will call him Stormy, Jo thought, patting the stallion's glossy neck.
Another character: Stormy
Emotion: Uneasiness
While walking through the woods with Jo, Stormy pricked up his ears and stopped. "What's the matter, boy?" said Jo. Jo didn't see someone with a gun while Stormy was stamping his feet. Jo looked where Stormy was looking. Jo laughed out loud nervously when she saw who Stormy was looking at. "Oh it's all right!" she said to Stormy. "It is just a hunter or someone walking through the woods!" she said her voice shaking. Stormy still began to shy away and shake his mane.
To do writing lessons with Mrs. Marlow, click here.
Joanne Anderson ( Jo ) is a 11 year old and is the youngest in her family. She lives in in Australia ranch called Rocky R Ranch. She loses her temper which often gets her in to trouble. Jo has long blond hair which is sometimes loose and has blue eyes. She often goes out for walks with her horse called Stormy in the forests. Usually she gets in trouble for forgetting to do what she is told to do. Also likes riding her horse, has 2 brothers, Jason 12, Tomas, 16, and a sister who's twenty called Linda.
To do writing lessons with Mrs. Marlow, click here
This is lesson 3 with Mrs. Marlow. Click here to take part in writing lessons.
Character: Joanne Anderson. 11 years old. Has long eyelashes, and long blonde hair, and has rosy cheeks with blue eyes. Tall for her age.
Personality traits: Friendly, forgetful, quick tempered, brave, and fast-thinking.
Likes/Dislikes: Likes horses, She dislikes homework and school because she's always wanting to go out to ride her horse, Stormy and play with her friends.
Character : A black stallion called Stormy. Very friendly, fast like a flash of lightning! A white star in his head, one stocking. 14.3hh
Personal traits: Tame, brave and smart.
Likes/Dislikes: Likes treats, such as carrots or apples, riding with Jo and going for rides. Dislikes strangers and mistreatment.
The book is called Crazy Horse. The author of this book is called Jenny Oldfield.
Write the name of the character you really like: Kirstie
Write the name of the character you didn't like: Wes Logan
What I like about the character: Kirstie is funny, likes horses, she's adventurous, serious, and brave.
Why I don't like about "the bad guy": Wes Logan is a thief and steals horses from Ranches and lies, and is very nasty. But in the end he gets put in prison for stealing the horses from Kirstie's Mum's Ranch.
To take part in writing lessons with Mrs. Marlow, click here.
I have started up a story blog to put my writing lessons in. This is lesson 1 for the writing workshop that suzyscribbles has done with lots of people. Click here I'm not sure how to add a button yet.
Book: Elsie's Endless Wait Author: Martha Finely
Character: Elsie Dinsmore age 8
Setting: New Orleans in a house called Roselands
Problem: Elsie's father is away at collage. Elsie has never seen him before and wants him to return.
Exciting events: Elsie uncle gets Elsie into big trouble. Arthur breaks his fathers watch and gets into mischief.
