Mar. 31, 2008
Lesson 7 of Writing Workshop
I have finaly got updated with Writing Workshop For Kids lesson 7. So here it is:
Before: It rained all week during our camping trip.
After: It rained all week through our camping trip and everything was flooded. It was cold and misrable because there was nothing to do in the rain.
Before: Katie saw a scary sea creature at the aquarium.
After: Katie saw a very big and furious-looking sea creature at the aquarium. It had red eyes and spikes with a cruel mouth looking mouth.
One more time!
Before: As I entered the cave, I found the object of my search-the lost treasure of the Ancients.
After: As I entered the cave, I found the object of my goal - the lost treasure of the Ancients. It was cold when I touched it and it looked inviting. I opened the cracked and rusty brown lid. It creaked when I opened it and I saw old money, goblets, pearl necklaces diamond rings.
To look at Mrs.Marlow's blog, click here.
Comments
Mar. 31, 2008 - Lesson 7
Posted by SuzyScribbles
I'd say this is a good start, but you did not have to limit it to one or two sentences. I would like to "see" this frightening sea creature. "Frightening" is a dead word, since not everyone has the same idea of what frightening is. What does it look like? Red eyes? 6-inch teeth? And.... SHOW me the rainy, miserable week. And I'd love a vivid description of the treasure box and what's inside.
Hope this helps!
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Apr. 9, 2008 - Lesson 7
Posted by skmarlow
Good addition to the sea creature scene. Now....OK...the treasure chest looks inviting. So....open it up! Show me what's inside. "I opened the old, rusted lid and peeked inside. I saw...."
OK? Have fun!
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Apr. 27, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by ALadybug
I like your blog! I like all the purple!!
You did good on the story's. didyou make them up by your self?
Have a good Sunday!
Anna
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Jun. 7, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by ALadybug
Hi!
Great job! Did you make those up or MRS. Marlow?
How have you been? I am great!!
I hope that you have a good day!
Anna
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Jan. 9, 2009 - come out, come out, wherever you are!
Posted by skmarlow
OK, I'm looking. And looking. And looking some more, but I can't find your LESSON 8 anywhere on this blog. Am I missing something here or did you post it someplace else? Help. I'm feeling better now so I can look at your lesson.
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