My friend, Kellieann, recently had a post on her blog unlike any I think I've ever read before.  She was open and honest and ... inspiring.

It's easy to put on a big smiley face when we can hide behind the facade of our blogs, isn't it?  Well, here goes ... the good, the bad, and the ugly of the moment.......

Remember our dishwasher saga from weeks ago?  WEEKS would be the key word.  Sears dragged the ordeal on and on and on and on.  The first repair person took a quick peek and told my hubby (with me standing right there) to tell me I was using too much dishwasher detergent.  Uh-uh ... no way dude!  He left and the dishwasher (without any detergent I might add) still leaked.  Repair person #2 (I forget how many days later) tells us there's a 90% chance it's a seal that needs to be replaced that is causing the leaking.  He replaced the seal, but then the door latch wouldn't stay clicked together so we had to use a 2x4 to attempt to hold the door in place and flatten the new seal.  He ordered a new latch and we were to schedule yet another service appointment.  The 2x4 wouldn't hold the door, but it didn't matter because the dishwasher still leaked.  Repair person #3 comes and is another one of those that talks down to women and doesn't let the woman get a word in edgewise.  *sigh*  We had discovered another problem while waiting for this third appointment and he argued with me and blew me off about everything I tried to explain.  To be the big macho man and prove little ole dumb me wrong, he proceeded to show me how I was wrong only to wind up being embarrased because little ole dumb me did know what I was talking about after all!  HA!  This actually turned out to be a good thing because he then discovered many more things wrong with the dishwasher - as in it never should have made it out of the manufacturing facility from the start because it was a lemon all the way around.  To keep this saga short, we still got the runaround (we had a protection agreement but Sears could not decide if they were going to repair or replace the dishwasher) and things dragged on.  A very ugly, un-Christianlike telephone conversation (with me being the ugly, un-Christianlike one) took place during all this hemming and hawing around because I'd had enough of the runaround.  There ... I said it ... I have a temper and it's a bad one!  Finally, only by the grace of getting someone at the local store involved, did we get some action and Sears finally gave us a new dishwasher.  So, six long, miserable weeks without one and finally my agony is over.  Hubby still has to adjust it so it sits straight, but hey, it works!!!

My oldest has been behaving not poorly, but atrociously for the past 9 days (yes, that would include today) and I am at my wit's end.  In the midst of that, the youngest needed new binkies - no, we've not broken the binkies yet.  We were near a Super WalMart so we stopped by and I went in only to find 5 display racks where binkies should have been and they were all bare (gee, doesn't WM advertise that I'm supposed to be able to find anything I need there?).  Off we go to Walgreens (our only other choice).  They have one type available and I grabbed it without really looking.  It turns out the binkies are not smooth, but have dimpling to them which my youngest cannot stand.  He will put in in his mouth, immediately take it out, and make a face.  Now, this may be just what we need to break the binkie habit, but I may go insane in the process from all his unhappiness.  Shoot, the oldest is well on his way to driving me over the edge with his latest antics (will not behave anywhere we go, drops food on the floor in the dining room on purpose and claims he didn't, and I could whine on and on).  It's not always the rosy, sunshiney place my blog makes it look to be.

I am not sleeping, or I guess I should say getting enough sleep.  Sleep deprivation leaves me very cranky - very cranky.  And mean - did I mention mean?  I am not a pleasant person to be around (may as well lay it all out there).  I wake up every morning around 3am.  It's stress - I know it is.  Maybe I should stop watching the news.  I don't think that would matter much because it's obvious prices are rising everywhere you go ... the gas pumps, the grocery stores.  We heard a few days ago that gas prices may very well be $4/gallon by the end of spring.  The average price in FL is already $3.23/gallon and rising fast.  Last night we heard that because of budget cuts (mainly from Ammendment 1 that just passed and lowered our outrageous property taxes a wee bit), the state is going to add a mandatory tax onto gas prices to make up the difference.  *sigh*  It seems no one can win.  You feel like you get one small victory only to see it eaten up by something else.  Hubby also will not be on call any longer (to the point that he has to go out and actually do calls) since he was finally put in the management position for which he was hired.  This is good and bad.  The good is we will have him home with us instead of him running on fumes for 7 days straight every 4 weeks.  The last time he was on call he had several nights where he came home (late), sat down to eat, and his phone started ringing again.  He came dragging in after 11pm a few times only to have to be up at 5am and off to the races for a full day of work again.  I don't see how the guys do it.  The downside is that this will drastically affect his paychecks.  All that OT was helpful in getting our garden finished up.  On the upside though, I won't have two screaming, crying, upset, tantrum throwing children anymore because Daddy just got home and has to turn around and leave again and won't be home at bedtime.    

We spent all of this past weekend finishing up our garden.  The natural foods store we shop had a change in ownership and has suffered greatly in the fresh produce department as a result.  It's just about all conventional and not organic - what's the point?  I can buy conventional way cheaper at a regular grocery store, but we don't want conventional products.  Even local farms are no longer an option - some have not even opened up this season and others are pricing their products outrageously (I know they are feeling the crunch too and doing what they have to do to keep their heads above water).  So, we are giving gardening a go again.  It's not easy here in FL.  Our growing seasons are fall, winter, and spring.  The heat, poor (sandy) soil, and other factors make it difficult at best.  One of the farms we deal with has expressed to us how hard and frustrating it can be.  We made a patch last fall using the lasagna method (I posted about it previously on here, but am too lazy to go look it up and link it - how's that for honesty?) and let it cook down until this past weekend.  It didn't cook down quite like the book implied it would, but oh well, it's time to get on with things.  Two excruciating trips to Home Depot (excruciating only because hubby has to wander all over the store looking at other things) and lots of work and sweat and it's done.  We got a walkway put around the entire bed, posts and fencing up (to keep out the raccoons, possums, armadillos, and even our own cat!), and hubby even fashioned a little door.  Where's the picture you ask?  I was too tired to take one.  The bed is 4x16 so I laid out 2 foot squares with string.  I have worked the last couple of days on getting all the seeds in (I don't claim to be an expert gardener nor do I claim to even do everything right - I put seeds straight in the soil - no starting anything indoors and then transplanting - it worked 3 years ago when we had raised beds so I'm hoping it works again).  We ran out of money so there were no "teepees" or "stakes" purchased for things like tomatoes.  We have plenty of oak trees that need to be trimmed so I got to work cutting smaller sucker branches from those, stripping them, and fashioning those into "teepees".  Hey, you do what you have to do, especially when the well ($$$) has run dry.  I had forgotten how much I enjoyed gardening, but I also had forgotten just how tiring it can be as well.  I ache all over.  I'm exhausted.  You'd think that would help me sleep at night, but no such luck.  

So there you go - a brief, REAL glimpse at life as I know it right now.