May. 22, 2008 - conversations at a graduation
I went to my cousin's high school graduation today. She graduated from a public high school. Of course there were a lot of people there. Thankfully my family and I arrived early, so we got good seats. Once the seats starting filling up I start feeling closed in, but that's not where I'm going with this. The lady who ended up sitting next to me started some casual conversation - who was I there to see, etc. We didn't engage in anything lengthy, at first. I brought up to my aunt, who was sitting on my other side, how my graduation was back in '87. I told her that there were only eight in my graduating class (I went to a small private Christian school), yet the ceremony took over three hours long! I was hoping that today's wouldn't be quite that lengthy. Well, I didn't realize at the time that the lady to my left had listened in to my conversation, so when she asked me a little later, "So you were homeschooled?" I was taken aback. At first I replied, "Yes! I mean, I wasn't homeschooled, but I do homeschool my children. How did you know?" She said, "I can just tell these things. So do you think they feel left out of things?" I replied, "Not at all". She went on, "Do you enjoy homeschooling?" I said, "Very much. It's good for our family". She asked me about the socializiation - I also assured her that my children are well socialized. UGH! Well, she asked a few more questions and I learned that she was a public school teacher for 35 years. After we finished our chit chat, I mulled over our conversation again and again. This is what I do. I'm not very good at immediate correspondance; I need time to reflect and then give an intelligent answer (or at least what I consider to be an intelligent answer). So I was really perturbed with myself in how I responded to this lady. I started feeling agitated that she made the comment, "I can just tell these things". What did she mean by that, exactly? Also, I was irritated with myself because when I thought of what I said to her, I was talking almost apologetically, like I had to defend myself or something. What was up with that? Why did I feel the need to assure this stranger that my children are well socialized? I know she'll never see them, but if she were to see them she would witness that they are much more CIVILIZED than the majority of the people at the graduation today! Well, what's done is done. I can only hope that if/when I'm confronted with another situation like that I will be more prepared and not feel that I have to apologize to or reassure anyone. GRRR! It frustrates me now just thinking about it!
Comments
May. 22, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by shawtime
Christy, don't be hard on yourself. I think your answers were quite intelligently worded. If you're worried about your tone, I'm sure you were only responding naturally to her attackful tone. At first, I thought she may be sincerely interested in HSing. I have found that many people (including long time public school teachers) ask me questions like that because they actually agree with HSing and want information to pass on to their daughter or even considering it themselves. I've met several teachers, principles, and even a PS superintendent who HS their kids. If anyone understands the benefits of HSing, it's usually those in the PS system - whether they admit it or not.
Try not to worry about your encounter today. I'm so much like you. I need time to sort through my thoughts before adequately responding. I'm sure you'll have the opportunity again. :-) For some reason, people feel so comfortable... even entitled... to ask us incriminating questions - as if we're on trial.
May. 23, 2008 - <em>Untitled Comment</em>
Posted by blessedwith2angels
I understand your frustration. I used to teach public & private school. This is the questions I get, "Well, it's okay because you were a teacher, but, do you really think other people should do this?" Plus, of course, the socialization question. Like my children are just hidden under a rock or something. : )
I haven't thought of a good comeback, but I have tried, "I worked in the public school and if some of those kids are role models, I'd rather my kids not be socialized with them." It makes their jaws drop.
pam
I must say that a lot of the public school teachers I have met are very supportive. Many are curious about homeschooling. Also, lots of people ask questions because they are curious. If someone is rude and disrespectful about my decision, I *try* very hard to remember that I am the parent and I am doing what is best for my child. It sounds like you are doing an excellent job homeschooling to me.
Edited by blessedwith2angels on May. 23, 2008 at 6:57 PM
May. 24, 2008 - Been there...
Posted by abundantblessings
and it's no fun.
Feeling like you are on trial for what you do is not fun at all. But, you know, I have to question why they question!!
I did a search for homeschoolers close to me and noticed you are in Harvest, AL...I'm not far from you in TN! :)
Blessings,
Laurie
May. 24, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by dixiecajuns
Wow, actually I personally know your Aunt Susan, Jerry, Josh & Catie. We attended home fellowship with them. Susan and Catie came to my house for my girl's birthday parties. We also know the Henry's. We live exactly one mile down the road from them. David came to my house when he found out about Elgin. We know them all very good. So, apparently we don't live that far from each other.?????
Josephine
