I hate homeschooling.  I hate it.  I hate it.  I hate it.  It makes me sooooooo frustrated.  It makes me want to move to an island.  (Not that that's a bad idea...)  It makes my blood pressure rise.  It makes me see my flaws in great detail.  It forces me to confront my inadequacies, my inconsistencies and my "issues".  It prohibits me from sending my children off for someone else to deal with!  It pushes my snooty little nose right into the stinky piles of selfishness and self-pity that I keep leaving around.  It voids my ticket to the land of Denial where I can avoid thinking about them kids and concentrate on "myself" and being "fulfilled".

Daggone it!  I have to deal with them, train them, be an example for them.  That harness starts chafing real fast.  Those rough edges are bound to start bumping with non-stop contact.  Whooowee--where's that big yellow bus?  Get them outa here!  I got stuff I want to do.  Places I want to go! 

Let someone else show them how bees delicately search flowers--who cares?!  They can learn about constellations from a book.  Lots of kids do.  Business? Money? Careers?  Well, isn't that what Exchange City is all about?  I'll bet there's an artificial way to introduce almost anything and I'll bet the NEA has already come up with 'em.

Relationships?  Well, once you've been forced to socialize with the same 20 or 30 people not of your choosing, over and over for months, you'll learn all about socializing.  How to swim through shark infested waters.  Couple bites doesn't kill anyone.  We all survived it.  And then there's conformity.  You know, safety in numbers.  Don't stand out and you can make it through unscathed.  Sameness is the name of the game.  There's an incubator for leadership if I ever saw one....

Yeah, there's a lot of good reasons to get them out the door--there's things they need to learn.  The sooner the better.  I've got my life to lead you know...you can't expect me to keep pushing, stretching and trying to do better in all these areas.  That's too much to ask, Lord.  I can't re-learn algebra and be patient for hours and hours with that toddler.  I hate disection the first time.  Will there be a time when the house will satisfy my MIL??  Is it possible that we are doing enough when they spend all afternoon outdoors?  We must be missing some subject...come back in kids--do you know what the gross domestic product of Zimbabwe is?  All the neighbor kids are learning that this year--it must be important.

*all views expressed in this blog are purely sarcastic in nature...I've got to use my talents somewhere.

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Posted by grace4gayle

You had me worried there for a minute. I was all prepared to read the support and encouragement comments left by the fellow homeschooling moms.

Good perspective!

From one sarcastic mom to another.

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Posted by nsremom

LOVED your post. This coming from a rather sarcastic gal!

Yep. I guess I hate homeschooling too!

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