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I have been stretching in so many directions lately. My mom has had unexpected medical issues and we saw some "sides" of her we were surprised with. I have been making baby steps towards training my two new horses. I am surprised at my hesitancy and now that I'm getting over that, I am surprised at this dormant part of my life becoming vital again. I am surprised at how much I enjoy my old hobby, how long it's taking me to get back that enjoyment and the larger amount of fear I have now that I'm not young and unencumbered anymore! I realized that I spend more time trying to get one of our dogs to bond with me (so she'll come when i call her) than I do bonding with my older daughter (so she'll come when I call her.) A little flip-flop was in order there--thank you Holy Spirit for turning that light on. My MIL needed me to do some secretarial/legal work for her regarding a gas well on her farm. Didn't want to do it. Didn't want to be put in a position to be encouraging her one way or the other. Felt a lot of pressure to "represent" my husband and my BIL on such an important decision. But I did as my husband asked and got lots of compliments on my efforts. It's nice to be appreciated. It also gave me a chance to be upfront with my MIL about what I thought and once I was honest about my issues, she responded with kindness and fairness and really impressed me with her clarity of mind. We have decided to be committed to getting out of debt. That's hard on lots of levels. Gotta be honest with ourselves, how we got here, why we're still here--not very flattering. I feel like I have let hubby down. He works hard, I wish I had more to show him for it. BUT, we're together on our decision and really motivated. So, of course, God wants to show us CLEARLY why we want to get out of this position, so we haven't received any pay for about three weeks now! It got a little tight so we borrowed a little from my Dad just to cover our check to the dentist, thinking a check would come in. No check. So, we waited a couple more days, no check. So, then our mortgage was coming due. We've never been late on that, so what do you know, my MIL says, "I should be getting my check from selling some stock. Do you kids need any money???" So, I tell her we're waiting on some checks, but the mortgage is due in two days. So, she brings me enough cash to pay my mortgage, and then says to keep it as payment for the work hubby did finishing her basement last winter! What a blessing! Then hub's car breaks down. Still no checks. The part is $32, but the labor to replace it will run about $500-$600~! Still no checks and for once I am thankful they had to order the part, because I couldn't pay today. DD (oldest) tells me that God is a fairy tale and she doesn't believe any of it. I don't get too excited but start kneeling when I pray for her and praying better with her at night. So today, before her calculadder drill (which she has failed 4x or so) we all prayed and she did it! She was smiling so big and I said, "I guess prayer works, huh?" And she laughed. I know she doesn't really think that, but it's making me stretch. (See blog title...under the grow light...I gotta keep growing.) I read the blog about little Noah Estes (Ourquiverfull) and see his beautiful face and read about his faith-ful parents and their super thankful outlook--how encouraging. And I worry about training horses, good grief, get a little perspective. I'm also looking at Ambleside Online for Oldest, since she hates seat work and thinks she hates school. Middle seems to be liking Prima Latina. I need to be teaching them so many other things, like cooking! If you're still reading this far, thanks for the support. Please pray for the Estes family!
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