|
Well, #1 tried to ambush me last night! My "Pearl" experiment of five days has been very successful. Yesterday, the test was a little more challenging...We were kind of busy and #1 was at her volunteer position for a couple of hours, learning something that requires fine motor coordination, concentration and focus. Soooo, we could surmise that she would be a little worn out from that and as usual when she is tired, she did her normal summer evening thing, which is to run around, a lot, for a long time... Sooooooo, when it was time to get others in bed, I asked her to do some work on the book study we are doing with her buddy and Mom. (Probably not the best plan, but it needed to be done and asking rather than dictating was a nod to Michael Pearl's methods I've been trying to implement.) She got the stuff out and I helped her get started. We did some together. (Doing it with her rather than just telling her to get it done, is another place where I am stretching out, trying to treat her like I would treat someone else's child or a guest, with courtesy.) Anyway, she worked for awhile and then we went downstairs to do some more in her room. We had about seven more verses to look up and comment on, in a chart form, before we were done for the night and she up and decided that the chart was stupid and all the answers were the same and it was ridiculous for her to continue (with great vehemence.) I replied calmly that her friend has already completed this chapter and we were very close to the end, we should just finish it, whether it was well done or not. Nope, not gonna do it. Then I said, okay, write that same answer down seven times in the chart, if that's truly what you think. Nope, not gonna do that either. (She's big on these circular arguments, where no one can win and there is no end in sight...) Then she blocked my way from leaving her room when I said, fine, I'm going to go to bed. Nope again. I said that I thought it was foolishness to quit so close to the finish (which has been a pattern with her.) So, this meant I was calling her a fool and insulting her and blah, blah. I told her that throughout her life there would be things that were stupid and redundant, but would still have to be completed whether she liked it or not. For example, taxes, the written driving test and filling out medical insurance forms. She wanted specific examples from the written driving test! (okay, let me look them up--) No really, I tried to exit calmly, no dice. Finally, I said ( with a smile no less) that we were just going to have to agree to disagree on this and while it was certainly not my intention to insult her or call her a fool, I did think it was ridiculous of her not to finish especially when her friend, who is younger, has already made the effort to do it. And I left saying, I love you, goodnight. She shouted down the hall that I was not free to leave just because the discussion was uncomfortable (a line I use on her a lot ;)) and that if I really loved her I would be tucking her in and finishing this talk. I repeated my love and goodnight and went upstairs. Sooooooooo...1)Satan is shooting bigger arrows at me, so my efforts must be worthwhile and productive! Yea! 2) Calmness does help put out "fires". 3) My example to her is more important than the details, I hope. Daddy is home, has been working hard, but much less grouchy. Can't believe how my mood is so contagious/inflammatory to others. Gotta keep up the work.
|
Comments
|
|
|
|
|
Posted by