from my birthday cake decorating.   I keep thinking my cake acumen will happen naturally.  Alas, tis not to be, I guess.  I produced another pathetic endearment for #2 last night.  I love bundt cakes.  The pan seems so pretty.  I especially admire those new bundt pans with the beautiful detail, although I have not allowed myself to buy one, yet.  So for a family get together last night, I whipped out my boring, albeit reliable, bundt pan for cake number two this month.  I always have such great hopes for the cake.  The pan is so lovely, and deep. 

There was a few moments of duress when, after being in the oven for about 10 minutes, I realized I had not added the "cinnamon swirl" packet.  I panicked, yanked the swelling concoction from the oven, dumped on the swirl packet, which warned NOT TO SWIRL MORE THAN SIX TIMES and swirled, 5.34 times. 

The cake crowned up nicely and I relegated it to the aptly-named baker's rack on the back porch--covered yet very cool--as usual praying for no chilly chickadees to come by.  "Hey Ethel, c'mere.  There's a little hot tub over here!"  Poop, poop, pe-doop.

Then, I asked the cake politely to de-plane (isn't that what it's called when the contents leave the metal container)?  It declined.  I shook gently and then sort of bonked it onto the cake plate, hoping to jar it loose.  No dice.  I politely ran my favorite kitchen tool (the thin plastic spreader) around the edge, carefully loosening the crystalized sugar/cinnamon concrete and invited the cake to emerge, again.  It responded with much more enthusiasm this time, but reminded me that I did not use the spreader around the interior of the bundt pan, the "hole".  There was some separation.

After some minor reconstructive surgery, I beheld my latest attempt at memorable birthday cakes...another tire.  Somehow my beautiful bundt pan produces little trailer tires.  That's what they remind me of.  While the pan has these little detailed nooks all around the side, I get little trailer tires.  And if there is detail when the cake comes out, they are quickly pasted over with frosting. 

So every year my girls celebrate their birthdays with various colors of trailer tires.  Last night's version was a doozy.  #2 is so understanding.  (I hear they are usually that way.)  I say, we have two partial containers of frosting in two colors in the fridge.   She says she doesn't mind.  (#1's birthday was two weeks ago, so she had a single color tire.)  So, #2 gets a tire that is 2/3 white and 1/3 pink.  It looks particularly hideous and amateur and the whole time I am trying to improve my technique, I am hearing in my head: "these kids are going to need therapy about these cakes.  Something has got to change."  So once the two colors are on, I am more embarrassed than ever and trying to think of some way to improve this debacle.  Of course, #1 got a new package of brightly colored sprinkles on her cake.  They are gone.  Of course, it is 45 minutes before we are supposed to show up at Grandma's so there is no time to go to the store.  Oh well, #2's are used to this... 

I do find on the shelf some elderly, yet unopened, holiday sprinkles.  They are green teeny capsule shapes with some red rounds thrown in, to look like holly and berries.  I sprinkle these all over the top of the tire, white and pink though it is and I must say, it did improve it.  Then I told myself that the pink 1/3 was to represent the red ribbon of a wreath and this looks like a wreath cake, if wreathes were white and pink inflatable swimming rings.

I decide to ask my sister-in-law (the best Christmas gift buyer ever, next to her husband) for cake decorating lessons for Christmas.  But I want cake decorating lessons for normal people who bake normal cakes.  I don't want to be a professional baker or work at a grocery, I just want to make some cakes that my children will remember with a smile, not a moan.

P.S.  It tasted fine.

• Post A Comment! • Send to a Friend!