The theme of my life, my motto, my principle to live by.
I've preached it a lot here on my blog!
This morning, I awakened much earlier than usual and had an extended quiet time with the Lord. I was pondering different things and had some thoughts that at first seem to fly in the face of what a lot of wonderful people have shared.
But on digging deeper, it isn't so much that what I will share is going to negate what others have said. It's dealing with the driving force, the reason behind it all.
Don't worry! I'm not going to preach some heresy here!
As wives, mothers and keepers of our homes, we want to be efficient, we want to be good stewards of our resources and time. There is certainly nothing wrong with training our children to work, to help out, for everyone to pitch in to make the load lighter. There is nothing wrong with using a day planner to keep track of your time and make sure the important things get done. There is nothing wrong with training children to obey.
Unless.....
That is your primary focus. What do I mean?
I find myself getting more focused on getting things done. And guess what? There ALWAYS seems to be more and more "things to get done"! When I save some time here, five more things rush in to fill it up over there!
I am not a super-organized person. I still struggle to implement writing stuff down so I don't forget (can a type A firstborn be a scatterbrain?!) I work on those weaknesses in my character, but I am finding I must be careful on what the bottom line motivation is.
The bottom line cannot be "running the home more smoothly".
The bottom line cannot be "making it easier."
The bottom line cannot be "getting more done."
The bottom line cannot be "being more efficient."
The bottom line cannot be "first-time obedience" (hang on--you'll see where I'm going!).
The bottom line, the motivation, the driving force behind it all is Godliness---in myself, my family, my home.
If I do all the above--run my home smoothly and efficiently, get lots done, have all my children obeying right away and helping in every way; if I let that become the goal and yet I don't have hearts, I have missed something very important.
Relationships.
I remember Michael Pearl answering a letter in one of their newsletters. I don't remember the whole thing verbatim, but this thought stood out to me--to resign being the boss, the prison matron, so to speak. To resign from "getting things done" and instead, go after their hearts. Spend time with them. Delight in them. Enjoy having the children around.
I can't do that when my purpose and my goal is to have my home run smoothly. Or to have first-time obedience. Or all the other multitude of things we put first. Academics. Outside activities. Church.
If our "bottom line", our goal and motivation isn't Godliness formed through relationships, then all the rest is but dung. Nothing.
Mamas, please remember you are forging relationships that will last into Eternity. THAT is your most important focus.
Young ladies, please remember that you can seem obedient, helpful, academically smart and quite proficient in becoming a homemaker, but if you do not have love towards your siblings, if you don't really enjoy being with them and with your mama and daddy, you just have an empty shell.
Perhaps I'm the only one finding myself slipping into "getting things done". I am yielding my life, my "schedule", my routines, my homeschooling, my homemaking all to the Lord. That doesn't mean I am not going to plan, and have a "que será será" attitude towards life.
But I plan to take the days, the opportunities, the moments, to build the most precious thing in the world--
Eternal relationships.
I firmly believe that the other things "shall be added unto me" as I focus on the most important thing.
Over at Generation Cedar, Kelly has this wonderful story by Ann Voskamp, and I'd like to quote some of it here:
"The mundane, ordinary things are genuinely tremendous undertakings requiring Christ-courage. Who has the courage to live a life of little, unnoticed sacrifices? Loving an angry child, making a bed, kneading dough in the kitchen.
Voluntarily picking up a trail of discarded socks. Gratefully, folding up a damp towel abandoned on the bathroom floor. Carefully placing a tossed pair of shoes into the closet. This is our life: a mosaic of little things, daily sacrifices in small, quiet pieces.
At its very essence, this Christ-life is about the little things being the greatest things of all. Christ Himself told us: Whoever wants to be great in God's kingdom must learn to be a servant of all.
And when will I hands-and-mouth-and-feet-remember that this little stuff is the truly noble stuff—the Jesus-stuff? Didn't He too do great things that seemed so little: washing feet, and gathering children close on lap? Dying on a tree.
In His kingdom heroes live hidden, medal-less lives, lives laid down."
It's convicting to me, that's for sure! Sometimes we get discouraged doing the mundane, daily things. Yet that is the stuff greatness is made of.
Lord, help me to be great in Your sight, to serve with a happy, joyful heart in all the routine, ordinary stuff of life. And may You, the Master Weaver, take all the threads and weave them into a beautiful tapestry--the tapestry of our family life. Ultimately, may it glorify and point to the One Who gave the materials, the skill, the wisdom, the strength, the grace, the guidance, to the weak individuals that make up the tapestry.
Last week my 19 year old daughter gave me a present. Well, she gave me a clue that led to a scavenger hunt, collecting more children as we went along! I had quite an entourage by the time I got to the end!
The story is a bit funny, so I'll back up a few days. I have been wanting the book , "Passionate Housewives, Desperate for God", and even had it in my Amazon.com shopping cart. I was waiting to see if another daughter was going to order and we could combine orders for free shipping. That daughter decided not to order, and I had thought about just going ahead and getting it. But I didn't think I did. Then I get an e-mail from Amazon saying my order had been shipped! Boy, I thought I was a major scatterbrain for sure to not remember going ahead with the order, but nothing would surprise me around here!
Therefore I was quite relieved to find out it was my daughter that had ordered it and not me! Whew! I'm not as scatterbrained as I thought!
As much as I wanted the book and am thoroughly enjoying reading it, the greater gift that was in that box is priceless. Absolutely priceless. And I'm going to share it with you. Remember, especially you younger mommies, it will be worth every ounce of investment (prayers, sweat and tears) that you put into those little ones. They will rise and call you blessed, and even though you know you weren't the perfect mommy, things like this will warm your heart. More than all the awards I won in high school (including being valedictorian of my class) that are now in a box somewhere, more than any praise by any one else outside our family, more than anything the world can offer, these sweet, priceless gifts my children give me from time to time mean the most.
So, here is Leah's rendition of "I'd Rather" by Meredith Gray (She tweaked the first stanza, dropped a stanza, used one other original one--the fifth in this poem--and she wrote the rest).
I'd Rather
I'd rather be a mommy
than anyone on earth,
Raising up a child or more
of unpretentious birth.
I'd rather be in the kitchen
with my children all around--
than sit at a desk the day long
without one childish sound.
I'd rather have a home
with dirty walls, broken china and piles galore--
than I would a show house
and an empty heart which reveals that indeed I'm very poor.
I'd rather teach my children
of all God's wonderful works--
than teach a class of strangers
of man's many strange quirks.
I'd rather wash a smudgy face
with round, bright baby eyes--
than paint the pageantry of fame
or walk among the wise.
I'd rather raise up warriors
and maidens for God's Kingdom--
than build up fame, and much claim
in the world's wide regions.
I'd rather wait awhile
and receive the Lord's "Well done",
I'd rather give my life for Him
and be His and His alone.
If that weren't enough, there was this note with it:
To Mommy
Thank you for being my mommy, my teacher and my friend, and for raising me to be a maiden of virtue. "I'd Rather" be a wife, mommy and homekeeper because of your ongoing training, prayers, and example! I love you....love your favorite Leah"
My husband was looking at the weather this morning on the internet and clicked on something which brought up a video on some extreme sports (I guess that's what they called them!) There was this guy who was trying to climb an arch in the middle of some sea, and one handhold he had to jump to reach it. He fell into the sea below several times, then he got it--I mean, how can you catch a handhold and hang on while swinging from the momentum?!
Then it was mountain bikers. Talking about breaking wrists, losing teeth, separated shoulders (OUCH!) from their crashes. You know these guys (well, and girls)--they go down a mountain at the speed of light and flip their bike upside down then land on a tire and keep going. Sometimes they land and smash! That's when they do the teeth/wrists/shoulders thing. I wonder how they'll feel in 40 years?!
I decided that I, too, am a part of an extreme sport. Sorry guys, this one is only for the ladies. I birthed 10 children. I actually went through 22 pregnancies. 12 of which miscarried and 1 was a stillborn. 9 regular births and 1 c-section. Yep. Done it all!
Not only that, I breastfed them, too. Some longer than others. Now, that's usually a pretty easy, natural thing. But we've made it so complicated. Do we schedule? If so, how far apart? If we demand feed, how do we go to the bathroom? Do I get them sleeping through the night? Or do I co-sleep? My word, you can make a new mommy's heart faint with terror with all that! It took me about 7 children to start relaxing and enjoying them and learning the rhythms of life (I like calling it "responsive feeding"). And then I had to field the "Are they sleeping through the night yet?" questions. I don't remember anyone asking me that much until around baby #4. What changed? I don't know, but I went the other way. I decided to be a part of the Extreme Team.
You never heard of it? Well, that's the mommy team that does what is best for their children and husband and family! Not only that, but she dares go against the PC flow and pour herself out for her children. Now, daddies can get it on the sport here. It's just the birthing and breastfeeding that they have to forego!
So here I am, involved it the extreme sport of a lifetime--being a mother. Not just a mother, but Mommy. I figure it takes a lot of guts and sweat and tears to get your 21, 19, 16 and 14 year old daughters to call you Mommy. And they do! It takes a lot of grit to raise them to be feminine. And they are!
More than that, it takes a lot of love poured out like Jesus poured out for me for them to see Him in my imperfect imitation of Him, and to love Him and live for Him. And they do!
I highly doubt anyone will be featuring me on a short video about mothering, but something the arch-over-the-sea-climber said resounds with me: "Sometimes you just keep trying and trying, and when you least expect it, you get it." (Not a verbatim quote!) Well, it's that way with parenting, too! And although these people do their sport for the adrenaline rush and will probably have some achey bones in the future, I do it for the long-term reward of my children, sons- and daughters-in-law, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and more arising up and calling me blessed! And to have them all with me someday in Heaven. Yeah, I might get some achey bones, too, but my rewards won't be some dusty trophies sitting in a closet (or a barn)!
So, if you're a mommy loving your children, doing what you feel is best for them, especially if you're going against the popular flow--welcome to:
The Extreme Mommy Team!
Now go give yourself a pat on the back and have some chocolate!
A glimpse into daily life that isn't so mundane in a relaxed homeschooling family of 11 (plus the dog, the goats, the rabbits, the chickens, the cats...)
I've lost 7 sizes
