CONTENTS
Introduction to New Series
Portrait of A Virtuous Woman
Joyful Homemakers

It is my prayer that as we journey through Proverbs 31 in the coming months we begin to grasp and take hold of God's beautiful picture of a godly and virtuous woman, wife and mother; to observe her character (her quality, pattern of behavior, moral strength, and self discipline; her distinguishing traits) and ultimately to commit ourselves to God to allow Him to develop these character traits in us.

The entire book of Proverbs was written for the man. The last chapter of Proverbs 31 ends appropriately with a special directive to the man for selecting a wife for himself and mother for his children. Chapter 31 was not written by a man to a woman, but it was spoken by a godly and virtuous woman to her son. The mother of King Lemuel was a very wise woman who obviously knew the value of a man marrying the right kind of woman; one who would be a life long partner and mother of his children. As we read and study Proverbs 31 we quickly note that this godly mother truly understood the heart of God for she lays out God's plan for a man and a virtuous woman. These God breathed words have inspired millions of Christian women down through the ages to be the kind of woman that a Godly man would select as his life long mate. And they truly should be frequently by the young Christian man who desire to marry a virtuous woman.

In this chapter we can readily see that God did not personify wisdom by applauding the virtues of a man, although He could very easily have done so if it had been His purpose and goal. Instead He led this godly and virtuous mother to teach her son about the virtues of a godly woman. The other thing I want to point out is that God did not picture wisdom through the finest qualities of womanhood, and that is truly something uniquely appropriate in this analogy of a virtuous woman. Proverbs 31 praises the value of an excellent wife by first alluding to her as wisdom itself, a priceless gem.

"Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies." (Proverbs 31:10; Proverbs 3:14; 8:3)

God did not conclude this book of wisdom (Proverbs), the most famous book on wisdom ever written, with a platitude that is difficult to grasp. He gave a flesh and blood picture of true excellence and did so by describing the ideal wife. Most women reading Proverbs 31 think they'll never attain to what is written in scripture. We attain to a virtuous woman one day at a time. We must think of our roles as virtuous women, wives, and mothers in terms of the whole Christian walk of faith. We're all at a different level in our Christian walk. Just like children, you wouldn't expect your 6 yr. old to do what a 15 yr. old is doing. It's the same with you. God sees you right where you are. When we accept Jesus as Lord and Savior we begin a new born babes and mature and grow. Just as our walk of faith is a daily continuing journey so is your walk as a virtuous and godly woman, wife and mother... one day at a time. The 'principle thing' we need for this journey is the wisdom of God.

She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Proverbs 31:26,27

"Wisdom is true religion; godliness; piety; the knowledge and fear of God, sincere and uniform obedience to his commands. If you want to acquire it, it is the knowledge and use of what is best, most just, most proper, most conductive to prosperity or happiness." unquote. Wisdom's definition from Webster's 1828 dictionary:

A. Wordly Wisdom

1. The accumulation of man's tricks to preserve himself (without God) and get what he wants with a minimum amount of conscience pangs.
2. Produces the present world situation: pride, wrath, envy, confusion, jealousy, war, rumors of war. Matt. 24, James 4, II Cor. 7

B. Heavenly Wisdom

1. Heavenly wisdom is the work of the Holy Spirit revealed through the Word of God
2. Heavenly wisdom produces the fruit of the Spirit Gal. 5:22
3. Heavenly wisdom worketh repentance to salvation.

In the book of Proverbs a "wise man or woman" is one who:

1. wins souls -Prov. 11:30
2. inherits glory -Prov. 3:35
3. receives and obeys God's commandments -Prov. 10:8
4. hearkens to counsel -Prov.12:15
5. guards the tongue -Prov. 29:11
6. seeks knowledge -Prov. 18:15
7. disperses knowledge -Prov. 15:7
8. fears God and departs from evil -Prov.14:16

To be prudent is to be "cautious; wise; not rash; exercising sound judgment; circumspect." Webster's 1828 dictionary calls it "wisdom applied to practice". Wisdom in this passage of Proverbs is divine wisdom, the application of Biblical knowledge to everyday life.

So... to know wisdom indicates the ability to draw judgment in moral and spiritual matters and to discern spiritual issues.

Christ is the Wisdom of God. (I Corinthians 1:24) In Him are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge (Col. 2:3), and by God Christ Jesus is made wisdom unto us. (I Corinthians 1:30)

James 3:17 says, "But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. Prov. 9:10 says the beginning of wisdom is the fear of the Lord. James 1:5 tells us where we can find wisdom. "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him."

If we have Jesus in our hearts, wisdom, knowledge, discretion and understanding have entered in (Prov. 2:10-11). To have the mind of Christ should be our highest goal as Christians who desire wisdom. (Phil.2:5; I Corinthians 2:16) We can come to God and ask for wisdom as Solomon did in days of old. We must realize though, that with this gift comes a great responsibility-- we must act on what the Holy Spirit reveals to us in God's Word.

There is no bitter envying, jealousy or strife in the heart of the Proverbs woman. James 3:14,15. She is discreet and firm, yet very kind. Others seek her counsel and advice, they confide in her because they know she doesn't gossip. Gossip - what everyone criticizes, but all like to hear - the only time people don't like gossip is when it's about them

It often seems that the more a person knows, the less he says. (Prov. 17:27) Sometimes the best way we can open our mouths with wisdom is to keep them shut. It has been said that "wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you would have preferred to talk."

We can practice testing the thoughts we want to express to determine if they are worth saying. We can put them to the test of soundness, accuracy, kindness, wholesomeness. Are they gracious, sincere, edifying, clear, interesting? One evidence of wisdom is restraint of the tongue. Read the entire book of Proverbs and as you read on a daily basis, mark down all the times there is a reference to the words mouth, lips, tongue, tail bearer. There is quite a list and for the Christian it bears reading over and taking to heart!!

The first member of the body to be under the Holy Spirit's control after you accept Jesus Christ as your personal Savior is the tongue. James 3:8 says "but the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison." Our daily lesson is that "in her tongue is the law of kindness".

The woman who is modeling her life after the Proverbs woman has pureness of heart and thus her tongue delights to utter words of grace and truth in steadfast love. It would exclude cutting remarks, nasty retorts, biting sarcasm, vindictive accusations, idle rumors, spicy gossip, woeful lamentations, grumbling, griping, fault-finding, back-biting, and whining. The apostle Paul commands us in Ephesians 4:29 "Let not corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers."

The greatest problem in life is the pain we cause to others. The largest amount is caused unintentionally. Selfishness, ignorance, stupidity, thoughtlessness, course witticism, and a thousand other things are the means of wounding and hurting feelings, stinging pride, dampening enthusiasm, and quenching the effort of fellow men and women.

The Bible teaches that words carry everlasting consequences. Guard what you say to and around your children. Some parents talk about anything and everything around their children. Use some common sense and guard what you say. Children don't need to hear all the things that adults talk about and especially concerning things that really shouldn't be said about other people.

Prov. 11:13 A talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter. Sometimes we are so taken with what's wrong with others that we neglect to clean up the garbage in our own backyard.

Christians need to minister to each other by loving, encouraging and praying for one another. Instead of criticizing the spots and wrinkles, Christians should smooth out the wrinkles and remove the spots whenever and wherever they can. The kind of woman God wants is one whose words refresh and are a blessing to others. She should have a gracious and positive attitude that uplifts and encourages others. Criticism may have place in our lives, but we must be careful when we correct and make sure it's the right timing.

"she looketh well to the ways of her household."

The Proverbs 31 Woman continually watches with a keen eye the direction of her family. She notices the habits, actions and speech of her children. She exercises firm but loving discipline over each child and offers encouragement to each when it is needed. It means knowing where each family member is, who he/she is with, how they are progressing in school or on the job, and what their hopes and dreams are. Make sure you know your children so well that when they have sudden changes, you can sense that something is amiss.

Develop a listening ear.

Listen to each one in your household, discern what you hear, and above all let them know on a regular basis that you love them, care for their needs, and that you are there for them when they need you. Take time to listen to what you children have to say. You may not agree with them, but it nurtures an openness between the parent and child. Allow children to voice suggestions, complaints or injustices where they feel they have been wronged, as long as they remain respectful to you as the parent as well showing respect for their brothers and sisters.

Teach your children to talk about a problem rather than keep it inside where the devil can make a mountain out of a molehill. Don't be too proud to admit to your children when you are wrong. Parents who are never wrong will create a big wall between themselves and the children and they'll be afraid to come to you for fear of being put down. This develops trust and closeness between parents and child. It's all worth it. When your children get older, you'll get lot more feed-back from them and appreciation for your training that was based on the word of God.

You need to know where each member of your household is in his relationship to the Lord. You can do this by conversation, but also by observation. As I said before, I feel it's your business to know where your child is in their walk with the Lord. Encourage your children. Talk to them about the Lord. Pray with them and teach them God's Word..

The Proverbs Woman needs to avoid the snares of the world.

It is necessary for a woman to be prudent as she keeps a watch over her children and her own life so she may live a life that is pleasing unto the Lord. To avoid the snares of the world we need to daily watch our:

W -words (Matt.12:36) idle words
A -actions (Phil.1:27) striving together
T -thoughts (Prov. 23:7) thinketh in his heart
C -companions (Prov.13:20) walk with wise men
H -home (Deut. 6:4-9) teach children to love the Lord

Practice these principles from Proverbs on maintaining good Christian conversation.

* Always speak the truth- Prov. 6:16,17,19
* Speak few words, speak wisely- Prov. 10:19; 17:27; 29:11
* Good words can make people feel better- Prov. 12:18,25; 15:30
* Stop quarrels with soft words- Prov. 15:1
* Speak out for justice- Prov. 31:8,9 5.
* Take the speech habits quiz. Prov. 10:18-21

Do you use words sparingly? 10:19
Are your words worth listening to? 10:20
Do your words nourish and instruct others? 10:21

Ladies, we need to ask the Lord to make our ears sensitive to our words, that they will glorify Him and bring blessings to others. May we keep our words soft and sweet and our thoughts pure.

We need to choose well those we call friend. Those we spend time with can greatly influence what we believe and how we live. Seek the Lord's guidance as you look to the ways of your household, that He will give you the wisdom you need each day to be that virtuous woman, wife, mother and keeper of the home.

A woman has much control over the atmosphere of her home, and whether it runs smoothly and happily. Scriptures declare that a woman who chooses to "build” a godly marriage God's way is a very wise woman. A wise woman knows what her role is and how important the role of wife, mother and keeper of the home is. The wise woman sees to it that she builds up her house, rather than doing things that tear it down! Only the wise woman does this. This means dearly beloved that you and I need to seek daily to be wise women.

The wise woman knows that the Bible is her marriage manual and contains the rules of life. If a woman tries to follow the philosophy of the world in "building" her house, she is building on shaky ground, much as the foolish man built his house upon the sands. The wise woman takes the instructions found in the Holy Scriptures seriously. While the Bible has much to say to husbands also, we wives must be diligently doing all that the Lord has told us to do, regardless of whether our husbands follow their instructions or not. Many a wise woman has kept her home together, even when her husband acts foolishly. Who is to say, whether a husband may be convicted by the written Word, or begin to try to be a better husband and father, because of his wife's example of obedience to the Word of God.

Notice the following passage from Matthew. I believe we can take from these words a spiritual application with which to "build our house"

Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock. And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it. Matthew 7:24-27

Notice the difference in the following companion passage to the one quoted above from Matthew:

Whosoever cometh to me, and heareth my sayings, and doeth them, I will shew you to whom he is like: He is like a man which built an house, and digged deep, and laid the foundation on a rock: and when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently upon that house, and could not shake it: for it was founded upon a rock. But he that heareth, and doeth not, is like a man that without a foundation built an house upon the earth; against which the stream did beat vehemently, and immediately it fell; and the ruin of that house was great. Luke 6: 47-49

Notice in the passage from Luke 6 above that the wise man "digged deep" in order to lay the foundation of his house upon a rock. I don't know how they dug "deep" into rock during the time in which the passage was written, but I know that these day steel rods can be put deep into rock in order to build a building solidly on a rock foundation. Applying these scriptures to building a good marriage mean that it will take a lot of hard work every day to continue digging deep and building a rock solid foundation for our marriage. This analogy in respect to our marriage means that for us, today, to be able to found our marriages on solid ground, we must follow the instructions written down by God himself in His Holy Word. We must "dig deep" into the scriptures and study the Word in order to find what the Lord would have us, as women and wives, to do.

The foundation upon which the Christian must build is the ROCK of our Salvation, Jesus Christ, and the Word of God.

“If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do?” Psalms 11:3.

If we try to build our lives, our marriages, and Christian relationship on any thing other than Jesus Christ and the Holy Word the foundation of those relationships will not be able to stand.

Women, are you "digging deep" on a daily basis? Are you searching for God's instructions for building your marriage? Are you serious and sincere about this? Is God's Word the lifeblood for your life and for your marriage? Do you study the Bible for yourself, or do you merely let others do your study for you? Do you dig deep? There are treasures to be found in the Word of God! The Word will make you wise!

A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels: To understand a proverb, and the interpretation; the words of the wise, and their dark sayings. The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction. Proverbs 1:5-7

My son, if thou wilt receive my words, and hide my commandments with thee; So that thou incline thine ear unto wisdom, and apply thine heart to understanding; Yea, if thou criest after knowledge, and liftest up thy voice for understanding; If thou seekest her as silver, and searches for her as for hid treasures; Then shalt thou understand the fear of the LORD, and find the knowledge of God. For the LORD giveth wisdom: out of his mouth cometh knowledge and understanding. He layeth up sound wisdom for the righteous: he is a buckler to them that walk uprightly. Proverbs 2:1-7

Backing up to the passages in Matthew and Luke, we see that the storms of life could not move the house built upon the rock: "And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock." "...when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently upon that house, and could not shake it: for it was founded upon a rock."

Into every life storms will come. The storms of life need not bring the house down. This is why our homes must be built upon the right foundation and be built up according to what the Bible says. We, as women and wives, must take the Word of God seriously and apply its principles diligently in order to build our marriages up to where the storms of life will not bring our marriages down.

One day we stood before God and pledged our undying love to our husband. Before witnesses---friends and loved ones we said "I do." "I do promise you my love in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health forever." If your love for your husband was love anchored in Jesus as you stood hand in hand with your beloved and pledged to love 'him til death do you part' you are on solid ground. There's no question about it beloved, it is so easy to commit to the good, not mindful that there will inevitably be the bad times in our marriage. When disagreements, sickness, poor finances come we need to steadfastly remain anchored in Jesus and remind ourselves that the vows and pledges we verbally made before God and witnesses were truly from the heart, no turning back.

The moment that you and I said "I do" is the very moment our love was anchored in Christ Jesus. It is built upon the solid Rock and though storms may come and winds blow and we are shaken mightily we are secure on a solid Foundation. Jesus is the ONE who will keep us anchored and firmly sealed in His Love and it is Him that will keep the fire of our love burning. He's the one who will blow into our relationship and rekindle the flame of a love that may during storms and stress come close to dying out.

The secret is in staying firmly planted on the Rock, Jesus Christ, and letting the love He has put in your heart for your husband guide you. If you do that, then you will discover the love you share is all Jesus promised it to be. You will have the invaluable richness that some even die to obtain. You will have a perfect love. It's a love that will undoubtedly never end and will endure all things. It will be a love that will never fail.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

I don't care how long I am married, there are times when I become discouraged, my faith is shaken and I've been tempted to give up and turn my back on the one I pledged to love 'til death do us part. Let me tell you that when your life seems to be filled with the negative and hopeless and you are tempted to give up and quit on your marriage, get on your knees and tell God everything and I do mean everything. Yes, even when you don't want God to change your heart and mind about the strong temptation to give up on the person you love, give ALL all over to Him. If you'll do that, I like myself you will be amazed at what God will do.

What God joins together, no one can put asunder, but you.

I pray that this first teaching has brought words of wisdom, encouragement and instructions from God's Word that will led you as you continue the study "Portrait Of A Virtuous Woman" that I will be sharing in 2007. God bless each of you.