THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS... SHMILY STYLE! is coming SOON!

Now, for those of you who may be unfamiliar with this SHMILY Time tradition, The "Twelve Days of Christmas" isn't talkin' about "A Partridge in a Pear Tree.  It's a twist that I'm sure your husband will enjoy!

It all started because my husband and I would wind up arguing during the holidays EVERY YEAR because it was so stressful.  Spending time and money on friends and family seemed to get out of control no matter how much we tried to "get better" each year and would result in some sort of argument, so A few years ago, I decided I would something different... Twelve days before Christmas just happens to be my husband's birthday, so I surprised him each day, and got us all the way to Christmas day without an argument!   I found it really hard to get angry with someone that I was so focused on loving and praying for!

THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS... SHMILY STYLE revolves around the act of love and anything leading up to it.  Now, I know this "strikes a chord" with some of you and  I know that sex is not the only thing that makes a marriage good...  so please don't send me emails or leave comments telling me this.  (In fact, if sex is the only thing good in a marriage that's not healthy either.)  What I've found to be true however, is how "taboo" sex is, especially in Christian marriages.  We don't talk about it or even acknowledge it's importance in our marriages, when the fact is... God created it... and it was His intention that it is good.  I understand that we, as a society have ruined that in so many ways, on so many levels... but THAT is not God's fault, nor does it change what He intended for beautiful and fulfilling and to make a husband and wife as one.  Because of what sex has become because of premarital sex, pornography, adultry and the like, we have somehow become "scared" to talk about sex in a Christian marriage as if it's "dirty".

Unfortunately, sex is also one of the first things we "take away" or avoid when things get rough in our marriage as well.  Let's face it, when you're arguing with your spouse, do you feel like making love?... probably not... and when that happens, the enemy begins his work at destroying our marriage...  Think back to when you were falling in love with your spouse... at some point in time, there was a physical attraction... and chances are good it was pretty "intense".  Just because you may have been married for awhile, that does not mean that your love making should get boring, or non-existent.  It doesn't matter what stage (or state) your marriage is in right now bring the spark back to your marriage, and start with THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS!

Note:  If you are in a process of healing in your marriage, or there is a hurt that hasn't been dealth with or forgiven, then please take a moment to pray the SHMILY PRAYER.  I realize that some hurts and problems need more time to heal, and so this year may not be the time for THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS... instead, you may want to tuck this idea away and continue to pray for God to restore your marriage, including the act of love making.  (The Power of a Praying Wife is also an excellent book to begin praying every day for your husband.)

With ALL that being said, THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS involves some planning, so take some time to be thinking about what you can do to begin a year that will hopefully start a life long tradition! 

• It begins on December 14th (12 days before Christmas)... and is for 12 DAYS... 12 consecutive days (or nights)! This is especially fun because most people's traveling and visiting relatives is during these days (keeping in mind that this would be especially fun while visiting relatives  because only you and husband will know what's going on...) 
  

• This involves an investment in your "drawer of many blessings" drawer as well... and yes, you SHOULD have one of these drawers, so make room (throw out some clothes if you have to... your hubby would rather see you in these anyway!)  Start saving money and get your drawer stocked up!  You'll be able to "recycle" here so the money you spend here is worth it in the end.  You're investing in your marriage and that is never money wasted.  (Your size is NOT an excuse either!   Please read, "He loves you... quit hiding!" if you're  struggling with your outer appearance.   Have all your "little blessings" bought by 14th and plan for each day's surprise, along with any evening you might be able to get a sitter and go out (with your "little blessing" on to tell him about over dinner), or a friend to watch the kids so you can stay in (and put your "gift" to use)! 

• Make or get a card to give to your husband on the 13th.  An idea would be:
  

  • "To celebrate the next twelve days of Christmas I have planned a special "gift" for you each day with only you in mind!  Anticipate what each will bring as we celebrate the next twelve days of Christmas... twelve you're sure not to forget!" (Don't forget to sign it, SHMILY!)

• The Thanksgiving Special

All my children are a bit prone to careless mistakes in their school work, but Kendra won the prize yesterday for the most extreme absent-minded error  to date.

I'd just started to grade her math drill when I noticed she'd gotten the first question on the page wrong.  Not the frist math problem, but rather the frist question on the page; the blank marked, "Name______________".   

I would have understood if she'd forgotten to fill it in, but she answered--incorrectly.  In hasty Kendra-scrawl, she'd written, "Kaira."  

She was surprised and bemused at herself when I pointed it out.  The only explanation she could think of was, "Well, it is a timed test, so I was in a hurry."  She must have been hurried indeed to have forgotten her name!

I'll occasionally say the wrong name, but this is the first time one of the children has mistakenly called herself by a sibling name! 

Throughout the day I've been sneaking up on her and giving a pop quiz, "Quick, what's your name?"   She usually even gets it right--at least when she can stop giggling long enough to answer.

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