IN my weekly meandering post I asked for prayer, not a sermonette.
I know feelings are just feelings and one is never truly alone when they have Yeshua. That was not the premise. I was saying that my husband and son are always either going to some guys only thing or my DH will be playing some video/computer game, watching a scary movie ((which I don't do nightmares result)) and my son being an only child loves to be outside all day playing with neighborhood kids...after all he's played with only mommy for 6 years now he is enjoying having other kids to play with.
I am not open with people in real life. They don't want to hear about how I truly feel. When people ask "how are you?" people expect fine or well for an answer not "well my door smacked the neighbors car door earlier this week at 30mph thanks to the wind and I was really nervous about how she would take it and then I talked to my friend who is pregnant with her 7th child and talking to her always leaves me depressed, definately no encouragement from her to me and yet when she is having a problem or wants to complain yet again about her pregnancy she just expects me to know what to say and how to pray and how to lift her up and then she immediately puts me down regarding my having been trying to conceive or at least not using any barriers for 5.75 years and feeling as if G-D hates me or something...."
again just feeling, not truth....and ya see know one wants to hear that kind of answer because then you are labeled crazy and no one talks to you anymore.
and my son's desire for a brother or sister is not relevant to other people with bigger problems.
It hurts a mom to not be able to give her child something he asks daily for and prays for. a true test of such a little guys faith to pray for something repeatedly and it not come to pass. and then I feel as a failure at this woman stuff since my body is not doing as women do. I've been married 8 years come may and I feel as if people are missing from our family. It's painful to not be able to reproduce like women should.
But unless you've walked in my shoes you wouldn't understand. And I don't want these new people I've been spending time with in real life to write me off that quickly so it's best to keep how I truly am doing to myself.
At the last home church I went to ((the pastor lost his job and moved away)) they knew I had asked for prayer regarding having more children and once when it was just I and the pastors wife she told me to just suck it up and don't think about it anymore. How's that for encouragement. so as you can imagine I didn't even say my prayer request anymore and when they took requests I always said everything was fine, no prayer needed....because I knew they were sick and tired of hearing my request.
"The Bible calls debt a curse and children a blessing. But in todays culture, we apply for a curse and reject blessings. Something is wrong with this picture." Doug Phillips | 
3.5.2008 - Untitled Comment
I think that if you weren't to have another child then God would take that desire away from you. The hard part is waiting on His timing. I speak from experience.
Just take one day at a time and know that there are people praying for you and your family.