Remember my "friend" .... the one who had 3 children when I met her 2003 and has given birth to 3 more since then and is currently about 2 months away from having another one?
Well late last summer after she had a miscarriage she called me up weeping and telling me how much she understands my pain and all .... but then a short while later when I was talking to her and she was very quiet I was like you're pregnant aren't ya? and she said she didn't want to tell me because she knew it would hurt. But then she quickly went into the mode of all her pregnancies before she just calls me to complain about some pain in her pregnancy or some challenge with all her kids. And she won't fess up that she most likely was purposfully trying to get pregnant after that miscarriage, I told her it's ok to admit it, after all that's a way to ease the pain of the loss to have another baby. (( I said ease, not completely take away the pain.))
I've ran across several weblogs of moms with many children and I see their honesty with their day to day lives and how they've found ways to make it work. I refer her often to such and such weblog for ideas but she doesn't want to take the advice.
Rather just complain. However, when I need a shoulder to cry on, she's not got the time to talk to me.
She's said things like this with each consecutive pregnancy:
"Isn't it funny, I'm trying to stop having babies and you really want another one."
"I wish I could trade bodies with you, so I can have a break from all these pregnancies."
"I'm getting my tubes tied" ((she says she can't take the pill and her DH is allergic to 'raincoats')) she tries blessed thistle as her friend who's into herbs says it's a natural form of bc....
She uses that last line alot in the beginning but as the due date gets closer she changes her mind.
Now I'm all for big families, but if you're going to have them, stop complainig, and definately don't complain about your pregnancy/nursing/child-raising woes to someone who is praying for more blessings. I. CAN'T. TAKE. IT. ANY. MORE.
This is the aforementioned friend that caused the "lonely" feelings on 3.02.08 .... then I didn't hear from her again ... til during biggest loser 03.11.08 and I just let the machine pick up. She called again the next day and I again let it go to the machine. I just don't want to talk to her...it's killing me to do so. As I've said she doesn't want to listen to my hurting but she doesn't make it any better with what she talks about either. Yesterday I felt like I should at least give her the benefit of the doubt so when she called, I picked up. Big mistake.
it's been almost 2 weeks since we've spoken and all she could do was tell me they're about to be evicted, have not found a new place yet, the baby is due in 2 months, oh here listen to my 3 year old talk ain't he the cutest, we're 200 or more dollars short every paycheck, and my other friend when I talk to her she makes me mad because she instantly starts telling me to look on the bright side and I don't want to hear it right now.
I just sat there letting her talk...not much words of wisdom since she said she doesn't want to hear things like "when life hands you lemons" or other positive outlooks ...and then my cordless phone's battery started beeping at me so we got off the phone.
I'm afraid I won't be able to answer the next time she calls. Why should I? She doesn't take any advice....she's also told me to quit my part time job and come home, get my son on a schedule and then I would be blessed with more children.
I did all that. Then she confessed that her kids run wild all day, they don't even have set times for meals. So she was not looking for any tips on routines but she said I needed to have one.
"The Bible calls debt a curse and children a blessing. But in todays culture, we apply for a curse and reject blessings. Something is wrong with this picture." Doug Phillips | 
