Justyne: *walks into living room* Joshuel, Jordaan, I've got to go into town. Can you fix lunch?
Joshuel: *weakly* Lunch?
Jordaan: But we have to save the world!
Justyne: You can't go saving the world on an empty stomach. I need you to fix lunch.
Joshuel: Can't we go and rescue somebody?
Justyne: I'm afraid not. *leaves room and drives away in jeep*
Jordaan: NOW what do we do?
Joshuel: We get to work.
Jordaan: I'll go kill the pig! *runs to kill the pig*
Joshuel: HEY!!! It was supposed to be my turn! *Jordaan is already out the door. Joshuel grumbles: It was my turn!*
Joshuel: *stomps off to kitchen* How does one cook a pig? *starts going through cabinets, finds recipie book, starts reading it*
Jordaan: *comes in with butchered pig parts* Okay, let's cook this thing. How come you haven't started the fire in the stove?
Joshuel: I don't think we're supposed to.
Jordaan: How else would you get it hot?
Joshuel: I think you turn this knob here. *turns knob*
Jordaan: That's rediculous. You put the wood in HERE, I'm sure. *opens oven door*
Joshuel: *looks in oven* I don't think it's supposed to hold wood. There's not a trace of ashes.
Jordaan: You know how clean Justyne is! Turning a knob to make things hot. That's rediculous. Look! *puts hand on burner* OW!!! *flaps hand in the air*
Joshuel: What did I tell you? Now, let's see what this cookbook says about fixing pigs.
Jordaan: How can that book tell you to cook with that thing?
Joshuel: I don't know! Maybe it says something about it.
Jordaan: I say we burn it to cook the pig. *sucks on burnt fingers*
Joshuel: No, I won't do that! Not yet anyways.
Jordaan: Hmm, let me see that. *takes book from Joshuel*
Joshuel: HEY!
Jordaan: It says we need to put some seasonings on it. What should we put on it?
Joshuel: I will look to see what we have. *looks in the fridge and the cabinet and grabs a bunch of seasonings*  Let me see...we have allspice, pepper, garlic, cloves, mustard, and ta-, ta-, tabasmo? Tabasco sauce. *looks at Jordaan* What's tabasco sauce?
Jordaan: I don't know.
Joshuel: We should chop it up to make stew.
Jordaan: The tabasco sauce? But it's liquid!
Joshuel: No! The pork! *begins chopping up pork into bite sized pices*
Jordaan: *puts pices in pan on hot burner* Never mind the other stuff. Let's use the cloves and the tabasco sauce. It looks like it'll be good.
Joshuel: *stabs cloves into pork* How much should we use, do you think?
Jordaan: Hmm...all of it. *dumps it over pork*
Joshuel: *adds some water and mustard* Pork takes a while to cook, you know.

A few hours later...

Jordaan: *Looks at Joshuel* Is it ready?
Joshuel: It's bubbling, maybe it is. *grabs spoon*
Jordaan: Wait, we should flip to see who gets to taste it *pulls out coin* Call it.
Joshuel: Heads.
Jordaan: *flips coin and catches it and then slaps it on wrist. He peaks at it* Tails. Sorry.
Joshuel: *takes a spoonful* It's white, so it's cooked at least.
Jordaan: The meat? How can you tell?
Joshuel: It shows just a little. *puts spoon in mouth*
Jordaan: How is it?
Joshuel: *face turns red* HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! WATER! WATER! *runs to sink and turns water on full*
Jordaan: What?
Joshuel: Don't...taste...stew...AUGH! My mouth is on FIRE!! *lays on back on counter and allows faucet to pour water into his mouth*
Jordaan: Now what?
Joshuel: *sits up* You know anything about campfire cooking?
Jordaan: Yes. Who doesn't?
Joshuel: My authoress, for one, save for what she's read about it. Anyway, I'd say- *dunks mouth back under water briefly* -I'd say that we drain off the liquid, add water, and use the campfire to finish it off. We can't miss with THAT.
Jordaan: I'm glad you see it that way. I'll start the fire with this 'Magic Book' *grabs book and matches*
Joshuel: AAAAHHH!!!!!! My mouth won't cool down! MILK!!!! I NEED MILK!!!!!!!! *rushes for fridge*
Jordaan: *chopping wood*
Joshuel: *grabs milk and starts drinking*
Jordaan: *laughing maniacally as he lights fire. A big fwoosh in background*
Joshuel: DIDN'T WORK! *runs back to faucet and turns on water full blast*
Jordaan: *walks in, grabs pan and takes it outside*
Joshuel: *lays on counter, eyes watering, letting water pour into his mouth*
Jordaan: *dumps out liquid in stew, puts meat in pan, and adds water and herbs, hangs pan over fire*
Joshuel: *moans* I hate tabasco sauce.
Justyne: *comes in door* How's it going, boys? JOSH! What happened?
Joshuel: Tabasco sauce.
Justyne: Oh dear. Where's Jordaan?
Joshuel: *points to yard*
Justyne: *leaves kitchen*
Jordaan: *stirring stew with stick and laughing insanely for no particular reason*
Justyne: Jordaan, what are you doing?
Jordaan: *composes himself* I'm cooking the stew.
Justyne: I can see that. But why are you doing out on the front lawn? Why aren't you using the oven?
Jordaan: We couldn't figure how to turn it on.
Justyne: Be serious Jordaan! You just turn that knob on the oven that says 'On'!
Jordaan: Yeah, I found that out!
Justyne: *notices Jordaan's burned hand* You poor thing! I'll help you with that after lunch. But what did you use for the fire?
Jordaan: That recipe book in the upper cabinet with some wood, oh and some gasoline!
Justyne: Jordaan! We needed that...Gasoline???!!!
Jordaan: Yeah. What's wrong with it? It works wonders!
Justyne: Do you know how dangerous that...oh never mind! How much Tabasco sauce did Joshuel add?
Jordaan: The whole bottle.
Justyne: THE WHOLE BOTTLE???!!! I better check on him. *goes back in* How are you Joshuel.
Joshuel: *Groans* I've been in battles that didn't hurt that much. But I'll live. I think. *falls off counter*
Jordaan: Maybe not.
Maddock: What's going on?
Justyne: They were making soup. I think. And Joshuel added a whole bottle of Tabasco sauce into it and then tasted it. Jordaan used the cookbook to start a fire and cook the rest.
Maddock: Why didn't they use the stove?
Justyne: They didn't know how to use it.
Maddock: They didn't know how to use it??? Even I know how to use it!
Justyne: Well, lunch is ready. I HOPE it's good. And for both of your sakes it better be!
Maddock, Justyne and Jordaan: *leaves to get food*
Joshuel: *brushes himself off, grabs bowls and walks out after them*