Well today I started out really good on my diet. Even drank a bunch of water. Then I bombed again with dinner. We took Mom to the mall to get her some new clothes for work and job interviews. We didn't end up getting dinner until 8:00pm and we were all *starving* by then. Everything looked good of course and I ended up with chinese food instead of the a salad I had planned on getting earlier in the evening. One more day ruined and one more "start day" ruined.

I'm really wanting my life back in "order" like it was 2 months ago. We were finally on somewhat of a schedule for once in our life, I was doing really good with my Bible studies, I was able to stick to my diet and eat "healthy", I was able to excercise regularly, etc...but right now I just feel like I'm in a perpetual state of chaos. I don't really feel like we can "have" a schedule with my two oldest being gone and us not doing school or any of our other "regular" stuff. There really just seems like nothing to do but housework and helping my mom get her stuff together/accomplished. I really don't like the "fly by the seat of your pants" way of living and that's how I feel right now.  The only way I know how to explain it is you know when you're first learning how to ride a bike? You start out and are all wobbly and fumbling and don't get very far? Well, that's how I've felt most of my life. Then from about April-June I felt like I had finally learned how to ride my bike and was riding down the street with the wind blowing in my hair. Now, I feel like I'm back to wobbling and fumbling around again. So, right now I'm venting all of this out into cyber world and trying to make some sense of all of this. I DO know that God is the God of order and not chaos, so I really need to get this straightened out again. If not for me at least my kids and family.

One thing I think I've decided that I'm going to do before starting my "diet" again is trying to compile a list of scriptures pertaining to food/eating. If you have any can you please throw some my way? Even ones pertaining to God as our comforter, bread of life, living water. You get the idea? I'd really appreciate it a whole lot. I'm not really looking for book recommendations at the moment as I want to study God's word first, without having an author's viewpoint steering my thoughts one way or the other, I want the Holy Spirit to lead my thoughts instead.

Also, any scriptures related to childrearing/disciplining would be great. This has been heavy on my mind for about 2 months now and I just need to make the time to study this out. I've read a couple of books and have started another one recently but you know what? I want to go off of the Word for now and let the Holy Spirit lead me. I can always see good points and bad points in every book (except the Bible) and I just need to focus on what God wants or says, not what some author has come up with as "truth".

Thanks,

Jen

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