We live in the country and fortunately near another homeschooling family that we have a KONOS coop with. This family takes care of our pets and livestock when we go on overnight trips and we do the same for them when they travel. I watch her children when she and her husband go on dates and vice versa. It has worked out great! When we began this a couple of years ago I noticed a comment that friend would say to her children before leaving, "Be a blessing." I asked her about this after hearing it several times and her reply was convicting and motivating. In a nut shell, she told me that she desired that her children would be a blessing to those around them by being helpful, courteous, considerate, and respectful. Her children are and it is evident that they are taught this at home.

I find it so pleasing when a child opens the door for me or responds with a 'yes, maam' or 'no, maam'. When calling someone on the phone, I find it irritating to have a child pick up the phone and rudely ask who I am or not use good phone manners. Being a blessing is about good manners but also it is about putting others first. It is alarming to me that as christians and homeschoolers I have observed rude behavoir when groups of us get together. Please don't read that I see my children as perfect or that they should be. My gripe is with the parents that sit by watching while the rude behavior is being demonstrated by their children to other children and even adults and nothing is done. Recently, while at a 4H speech competition, an adult friend was remarking to me that he had noticed my seven year old daughter had gotten glasses. He asked if she had been teased yet. I said yes and mentioned the name of the girl (also homeschooled) that had called my daughter a granny twice to her face and how this had bothered my daughter. I honestly did not realize the mother of this child was near and listening. The mother then laughed calling my attention to her and asked with a big smile on her face if I thought she should talk to her daughter about it (her daughter is 11 years old!). I looked at her with a straight face and said that it was not my business to train her child, she as a mother should know what is best for own child. Again, my kids have been rude and hurt other's feelings but I have been diligent to make sure that they tell others that they are sorry when I am aware of the offense. 

I believe that training to treat others with respect begins as soon as a child can talk.  My husband and I have tried to instill the behavior of acknowledging that someone has spoken to you with at least a smile from very early on. We tell them they don't have to carry on a conversation or even give a hug, but that they should respond positively when spoken to. This was harder for my son and until he was three and a half it was a constant battle of wills to keep him from growling at people when they just looked at him. But I believe because of constant training in this area he has finally started responding appropriately. Also he knows what we expect from him because of the consistency of training in good manners. I don't take pride in the positive remarks that we get from diners in restaurants or other businesses. I feel that as a parent I am expected to raise up my child in the way he should go. Nope, they are not angels and here at home sometimes I think how can they be so ugly towards one another.  It is of course a constant battle, but at least we are active in the battle of teaching them to be blessings.

Blessings to you and yours, Julie