I should have merged the two Beth scenes. Bah. Lazy.

Chapter Eighteen

Beth had her mind set firmly that she would not get them in trouble if she could avoid it.

It didn't make her feel safe or happy, but it made her nervous. For once in her life she was doing something that she wanted to do... and by doing so, it could end her life.

She hurried as far away from him as possible. Well, if something was going to happen to her because of her decision, it would have happened now... right?

Well, now that that was done, Beth was bored, as always. She wandered, gazing softly at the trees around her, which were so familiar to her now. She had been hiding out here for so long. She was beginning to call this place home. She didn't like it, but she didn't dislike it either. It was a better home than where she spent the rest of the year. She didn't have a life back at Her place. She didn't want to leave here.

When she came she usually stayed in that old house where she had been taken, so many years ago, but now that he was staying in there, she would not kick him out. After all, she owed him something. For so long she had been the enemy. She hadn't done anything bad to him, but she hadn't done anything good either.

Slowly, she rested her head against a tree and stared up at the blue sky above her, sleepy. She wanted to explore, now that she had made the official, fatal decision to never go back to Her place ever again. Maybe she would run away...

Smiling softly, Beth wondered how long she would survive alone. After all, she had had to train herself to get around alone anyway. How come she couldn't just find a city somewhere nearby and change her name? What if... what if she tried to move into the gloomy, rainy little town of Tristan? Would she be welcome there? Would the one she was supposed to follow let her stay there? If he threw her out she would listen to him. He had every right to do so, anyway. If he didn't want to see her again for the rest of his unShadowed life, she would follow his wishes, because she had to. She owed him.

She yawned quietly and played with a long lock of black hair. After so long of not getting any form of haircut, it had grown quite long. When it wasn't so dirty, it was actually pretty. Sometimes it got annoying, though, and she had to braid it to keep it out of her face. She wondered what she would look like if she was ever wearing anything other than rags... if she was anybody other than the worthless spy who had no right to put on a pretty dress.

She remembered the night that that little cottage had become ruins. She had been nine, and hiding in the basement. She didn't remember if She had been there, but her spies certainly were. They'd been in a bad mood, apparently, and decided to kill the rest of her family to have a place to stay for the night. She had learned that that was how these people were raised. They killed to achieve what they wanted. They weren't afraid to. They weren't ashamed to.

Because they didn't want to sleep on damp ground that night, she had wound up completely alone, a worthless orphan... and only the fact that she had been hiding in the basement was what kept her from being found.

But then they caught her the next morning and their moods had grown considerably lighter, it seemed. Instead of killing her, they took pity on her because she had been a child, and decided to just take her to Her place.

I'd rather have died, Beth thought, ashamed of her own decision. But I was nine, and I was scared. She shut her eye tight and blinked away a few tears, revisiting what little remained in her memory of her mother and father. Her father had put up a struggle, that was for sure; there was evidence of that all around the cottage. The shattered windows were obvious evidence.

She didn't remember why they had been living here in the middle of nowhere instead of in Tristan. Maybe it was better, though, that they hadn't been at Tristan; that meant that dozens of lives had been spared.

Maybe after this I can... start over... Beth thought, sinking to the ground and huddling up against the tree. I can have a normal life... I can be free...

That is, if you're not found. The voice in her head was not encouraging. She despised that voice in her head.

I don't want to be found, Beth thought desperately. She felt like a bird in a cage... so much potential, yet these bars surrounding her would not let her go. However, when the door to the cage finally opened... when she, at last, had a chance to run away...

“Don't let go,” she whispered, remembering – for the millionth time – what her mother had said, over and over, when she was still alive. It was one phrase she never forgot. “D–don't let go.”

Don't let go... which meant that she could probably make her escape attempt now.

It sounded like insanity... it truly did... but it was something that she simply needed to do...

What if they don't let me in? Beth thought desperately. What if they recognize me?

Get on your knees, said a daring voice in her head that she had not heard in a long time. It was a rebellious voice that seemed to have disappeared after she had been captured and forced to serve. Get on your knees and plead, if they recognize you and won't let you in. Because you're sorry. You want to be a part of them. You want to live somewhere normal. You want a family... You want a life...

Beth knew more than even this voice in her head that what it was saying was true. She needed to do this. She needed to try this. So she forced herself to her feet and stumbled in the direction of the town of Tristan. She would depend on luck to get herself to actually arrive there. She would depend on fate to not be killed on the way – it was still hours off, and the chances of being caught by one of Her followers as she went there were still high. And she would depend on... both, for there to be somebody in that town kind enough to take her in and protect her.

Maybe I'll be able to have a nicer dress than this, she thought, growing somewhat excited, and picked up the pace. Now all I need is to get there.

Getting her hopes up was probably her biggest mistake.

Garrett was trying to sleep, but it wouldn't come to him.

Boredom seemed worse than death. Slowly, he forced himself into an upright position and stared out the open door at the setting sun. It was so early. He'd returned from his walk in an incredibly bad mood. After he had gone on that walk, there was nothing else to do, but try once more to piece together the pieces of this puzzle.

Why had Elinor not been at that party? He couldn't figure out why, but knew that the answer was significant. He should know the answer. Something told him that it was a strong answer that he should have never forgotten... it was playing at his patience.

He lay on his back, huddled inside the blanket Mrs. Tanner had given him, and closed his eyes, going through what he did remember about the times he had spent with her. Nothing. Elinor no longer seemed as important as she had been once before. Cherise had suddenly taken her place. He smiled softly and gave up. Elinor, in any case, was dead now. He might as well focus his thoughts on someone who was alive and someone who he missed. What was Cherise doing right now?

He felt a tear slide down his face. He wished he had never left. He was miserable here. He didn't want to be here. But it was only the first day.

I'm going to go insane, he thought, shutting his eyes tight. I don't know how long I'll be able to stay here. Will I survive? I'm not locked anywhere... it's the complete opposite... but I hate it...

The tears continued to come, more heavily this time. It was the first time he really cried in a long time. With no one to mock him, laugh at him, or console him, there was nothing to stop them from coming. So he just cried... cried and cried, because there was nothing else to do. Nothing else to do but grieve for a life that might never return to him. He wanted to live at Tristan, where he had spent so, so long hiding. Where he already found some nice people who had even let him stay in their home for days... would they welcome him back?

Mrs. Tanner had said that he was welcome to come back. But... had she said that in words? Garrett couldn't remember. Maybe he had simply misinterpreted her actions. She seemed to be welcoming him, though.

“She better not have changed her mind,” he whispered, voice hoarse with tears. “Because I might survive this, and when I do I'll need somewhere to go.”

He rolled over onto his side and stared at the dark wall to his right, tired of the sky. The sky was only a reminder of how he had everywhere to run, but nowhere but this tiny shack to hide.

What if Cherise was here? he thought, closing his eyes and letting the rest of the tears escape him. Maybe he wouldn't stop crying tonight. It was six hundred years' worth of tears. If she were here, what would she think of me? Would I appear weak? Would I just seem stranger than I normally am? Have I ever really cried in front of her in the first place?

He couldn't remember. It probably didn't matter anyway.

The sun set slowly... way too slowly. The loneliness was evident; it lingered in the air around him. As he lay there in complete silence, it was impossible to ignore the fact that there was nothing... nobody. He even wondered where that Beth girl was. Sure, he had been horribly rude to her when she had spoken to him a few hours – it seemed like days – ago. But maybe... if she had only stayed, there would have been someone to at least be rude to.

He fell asleep, too depressed to even eat any sort of lunch. He didn't care. He woke up in the middle of the night, boredom simply too much.

He would most definitely go insane... it would almost be better if She came to stab him right here, right now.

It was so close.

Beth broke into a run. She could hear the river east to the town. Smiling a little, for the first time ever she was happy to hear the roaring of the water.

She skidded to a halt at the edge of the trees and gasped for breath. The air here was fresh; the smell of trees was not so strong anymore. Excited, Beth began to come up with a plan.

It was close to midnight. She closed her eyes and wondered what to do next. With any luck there would be someone out of their house now who could speak to her and find her somewhere to stay.

She began to get sleepy and decided that she should get moving.

She should have known better than to think that things would go so well.

Just as she was about to approach the nearest bridge, someone grabbed her arm.

Beth whirled around. In the dark she could not see the stranger, but knew that it was nobody good. It was too tall to be this Garrett. Way too tall...

Panic-stricken, she tried to pull away, but this person's grip was iron. As she tried to break away and run to the bridge, he was stronger, and instead practically dragged her back towards the trees.

“Who are you?” she demanded – she had meant to scream it, but terror made it come out as nothing more than a weak squeal.

A second later she was pinned against a tree and dizzy from the speed with which she had collided with it.

“Are you Elizabeth Cheyenne Morris?” he demanded. His voice was full of such malice that Beth flinched and tried to recoil, but since she was pinned against a tree she couldn't.

“Yes.” It was a whimper. She hated herself; she wished she could be stronger in the face of danger. She was supposed to be stronger in the face of danger. But she wasn't... she was staring in the eyes of danger, and she could feel her bravery slip away by the second, so now the world was spinning.

“What do you know?” It was a slow question, a threatening whisper. If she didn't tell him what he needed to know, she would be in trouble.

“Know about what?” She was aware of the terrified tears sliding down her face.

“About The Shadow's whereabouts. You are late, Morris. She has been waiting for your word for days.”

She felt herself pale, and suddenly she knew that, should he let go of her, she'd collapse to the ground, paralyzed with fear.

“I–I was going to get to her–please–” Beth found herself stammering pathetically, too weak with fear to try and fight back.

“Yes, of course you were. That's why she sent me to get the information from you. Where is he?”

“He... he is in my house...” She was speaking through sobs now; her heart was pounding so hard it was painful. “He... he is no longer a sh–shadow... someone freed him...” She trailed off, eyes shut tight. Let go of me! Let go of me!

“He is no longer a shadow?” The stranger sounded relatively interested. “And you did not come to tell her? Are you stupid?”

“No... I'm not s–stupid... please... let go of me...”

“No. I have been sent to retrieve you, and the information. I have been paid to find you.”

“Paid?” It was a gasp; she could barely breathe. Never had she been this terrified.

“More like threatened.” His iron grip on her loosened a little. “I am sorry. I didn't mean to harm you. But She has my sister... if I do not find you, she will kill my sister.”

This didn't reassure her, or stop the tears. “Are you going to kill me?” Beth whispered dizzily, though glad that he let go and it was a bit easier to breathe.

“No. Now that he has been freed, I am supposed to find out who it was that freed him. Do you know?”

Beth remained silent, mostly to regain her breath.

“Are you going to tell me? If I do not find him...” He trailed off, and she knew automatically. If he did not find Garrett and the one who had freed him, he and his sister would suffer a horrible fate.

“I know who it was,” Beth whimpered, still trembling violently. “But... I didn't want to give them away...”

His grip on her loosened even more, but this time it seemed that it was because of desperation. “You must tell me, Ms. Morris, or my sister will die.”

“I'm going to die anyway.”

“I do not know about that, but I need to know who it was that freed him.” He let go of her and allowed her to sink to the ground weakly, shuddering.

“What do I get if I tell you? What will happen to me?” Beth was stammering in a whisper, burying her face in her cold hands.

“You are free to run if you wish. You could help me, though, and perhaps be pardoned.”

“Pardoned?”

“She might spare your life because of not telling her he had been freed... by helping me hunt them down and bring them to her.”

Bring them to her. “I don't know if I can do that...”

“It is entirely up to you, miss.” He handed her a handkerchief to wipe away the tears, and she caught genuine guilt in his voice that he had scared her so. She accepted it shakily and just held it tight, too tense to really do anything with it.

And tense silence followed.

“My name is Stephen,” the young man said at last. “I'm sorry.”

Beth smiled feebly, though she knew he probably couldn't see it. “N–no need to apologize...” She knew exactly what one was capable of when they were being forced to do something at the pain of their death... or the death of somebody that they loved.

“Is there no way I can escape this?” she whispered at last.

“I'm afraid not... it's either this or she'll come and kill you herself.”

Beth felt the tears continue to stream down her face. To kill time, she found herself asking, “How did you know my full name?” Elizabeth Cheyenne Morris. Nobody had called her that in years. It was always just Beth.

“She told me. She knew that it would be easier to identify you if I asked you your full name.”

Beth nodded shakily and buried her face in the handkerchief, still shaking. “I... I will do it, then.”

More silence followed, and she waited.

“Thank you,” he mumbled. “Maybe... maybe we will both be pardoned after this.” Beth wondered what he had done – or was it simply that she had his sister hostage?

“Must we bring them both to Her?” Beth whispered, looking up at him. She couldn't see him well in the moonlight.

“We have to. She's furious. She wants to take care of them... herself.” She heard him wince as he said that.

“Will she kill them?”

“I think she will. What can I call you?”

She smiled feebly again. “Just Beth.” She liked Beth. Just Beth. It was what her mother had called her... so long ago.

She saw Stephen nod in the moonlight. “It will hopefully be over soon.”