Feb. 13, 2008 - Moving to Montana
My reasons for moving to Montana are as follows:
- Jason's family
- Easier for the kids and I to come back to PA than for Jason to miss work to go to MT
- Can be mortgage-free or close to it since houses cost less
- Will be able to have the money saved from no mortgage to use for kids' college, retiremnt, travelling, vehicles, or whatever
- Will have more space tohave more children
- Jason will be able to go hunting with his dad and friends
- We can get a bigger house on a large piece of land
- We can go camping, hiking, and fishing on weekends and we won't have to go to a campground to do it
- The view is beautiful
- Kids could have their own rooms or at least larger rooms
- Less pollution
- Life seems slower-paced in MT
- Kids could get to know J's side of the family better
- Life is short and we're up for the adventure!
My reasons for staying in PA are as follows:
- My family
- My friends
- Jason will have to find a new job and most likely will have to work a while before getting up to the same salary that he has now
- College in Billings does not have BA program for engineering
- Jason may lose some college credits when transferring schools
- We are comfortable here and familiar with our surroundings
The five year plan... Jason never lived in Billings. He was born and raised in Butte, so it will be an adjustment for him as much as it will be for me. It's not like he's going home, although his parents, sister, and nephew live in Billings. We're taking a chance moving there. Jason's dad has been in and out of chemo treatments over the past year, so our main reason for going is so that Jason can be with his dad. My whole life is here. Of course, if Jason was to say we're moving tomorrow, I'd be right there with the kids for his sake. As for the five year plan, we're going to give it five years and then reevaluate. If either one of us wants to move back, then we will.
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Feb. 10, 2008 - Bedtime
Kaylah, Kaylah, Kaylah. Why is it so difficult for her to fall asleep? At the end of the day, I am spent. I cook dinner, clean up, put in a final load of laundry, give a bath to K, M and J (A gets her own), direct everyone through bedtime bathroom routines, read a book or two, say prayers with the kids, and say good night. Now it's my turn to relax, right? Think again! Five minutes later I hear "Mom, I'm thirsty." or "Mom, what are you doing?" or "Mom, I want to sleep withyou." It's always Kaylah.
Tonight was no exception. Right now Kaylah is sitting in the couch watching television with Jason while all the other children are dreaming away in their beds. They all went to their beds at 7:30 tonight. It's now 8:30. This is an every night thing. I guess it's just easier for Jason to tell her to come watch tv than to keep up the frustration. I freak out. I hate doing that, but my patience runs thin at this time of night and I just want some time to relax and not have to be "on duty" as I have to the other 13 hours of the day.
I pray a lot lately and mostly it's about this situation with Kaylah and bedtime. I pray for strength and patience and understanding. I also ask advice of friends. I'm at my wit's end. I actually had to stop typing that five word sentence to tell her to get to bed, since she came into the computer room for a moment. I know she won't be following my direction, but will instead go back with Jason on the couch.
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Feb. 8, 2008 - Classmates
There were definitely some negative things that I recall that happened through the years. Stuff that happened in school. I had my nickname in grade school--the nickname that I still cringe thinking of to this day. My earliest memory of school is in first grade when the nun found a peanut butter and jelly sandwich that I didn't want thrown in the trashcan. I can vividly remember the humiliation I felt when, upon finding out that it was mine, she forced me to finish the sandwich in front of everyone. I almost cry now thinking of it. I picture my own daughters having to face this type of embarrassment and I want to scream.
Classmates can be mean too. I read something recently that made me think about grade school. Please Stop Laughing at Me by Jodee Blanco. It was a book written by a woman who was the target of school bullies. I couldn't say that I was bullied, but like I said, kids can be mean. Kids in school seem to have to impress eachother and top what others say (especially mean stuff) to be cool themselves. I remember mom saying "Just ignore them, they're just jealous." They weren't jealous of me they were jealous of the popular kids. They thought be being mean and saying nasty untrue things about other people would make them cool like the popular kids. I remember being mean to a girl who was the butt of many jokes just so that I looked cool. I sometimes wonder if she even remembers because 20 years later I still feel bad for doing it.
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Feb. 6, 2008 - Being a Certified Teacher
One more entry before I sign off. This blogging can become addicting. I wanted to comment on something I said in my last entry about the books swearing that you don't have to have a degree to educate your own children. I have come to realize that having a degree in education is actually hindering my eldest child's love of learning. What I want most...why I started homeschooling in the first place was to instill a love of learning in my children. They are only children once and only for a limited time. They will have the rest of their lives to work. (I do have them do chores though) Anyways, it is a difficult task for me to stay away from textbooks and worksheets. I am making a conscious effort to do so. The training that I had was meant for whole classrooms but I am learning that with my own children, they want to play and I am beginning to realize that through playing they are learning much more than they would learn if I was sitting next to them reading from a textbook! More on that later. Good night.
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