January 12, 2008 - ACT results for just average homeschoolers....
After taking our first round of the ACT test, my daughter wasn't thrilled with her results. This confirmed her suspicion that her home schooling was "less" than adequate to prepare her for "real life". Our daughter Kate was in "real" school through the 4th grade. We took her out as she was having trouble in several areas and continued to fall further and further behind. We felt God led us to homeschooling and though we were not prepared for the change of our lifestyle, we felt we were doing what was right.
However, our homeschooling had its trials. We weren't part of the elite group that had the brightest students of the nation. Being a homeschooler has alot of expectations. Being an average homeschooler is less than disappointing to many. An average high school student in public school is fine and acceptable, but a homeschooler? You mean your daughter didn't take chemistry? You didn't take Physics? You only took Algebra 1 and Consumer Math? You don't play an instrument? You aren't artistically gifted? My daughter had to meet many of these questions by her lonesome as people questioned her when I was not in her presence. Many with kids my daughter's age wanted to make sure she was adequately being taught, and their disappointment in an average schooler's education was evident in their voices and often times disheartened my daughter. She wasn't good enough in school, and now in her homeschooling, she felt she was failing as well.
On a personal note, Kate enjoyed her education. She enjoyed the homeschooling. She admits she missed out on some social events, but as far as her education was concerned she personally was quite happy with it. She was average in the fact that she wasn't a high achiever. But, she excelled with hands on activities on the farm. She was by her Dad's side when it came to the sheep and she excelled in farm knowledge. She could detect troubles. She took classes on how to detect parasites and the symptoms; she took classes on coat specifications, although too young to get certification, she still did the same courses and did better than many adults in the class. She can pull lambs with the best of them. She has offered her help to other farms with turning lambs during birth and untangling them in the womb. She could run a sheep farm by herself, aside from needing another hand to help with worming or weighing. She knows this, yet others have made her feel that this isn't learning that will help her later in life.... that perhaps she should have applied herself to those more lofty classes like chemistry and physics.
Kate is also is equipped with life skills that many will struggle with early in their marriages, taking years to catch up to her skills. I know this, that is how I left public school... ill equipped to run a home and work within a marriage. I struggled over simple homemaking skills and that really caused a struggle with my early years in marriage. My hope is that her skills will bring less strain to those early years in her own marriage. Kate can cook. She can menu plan. She can clean the house (and the barn!). She knows child rearing, having a baby sister that was born when she was 15yo.
But, still... she's just an average homeschooler. Her first ACT test came back ok. She struggled with timing and admitted that she didn't finish any of the tests on time. She barely had time to read the last 15 questions of each test and make a quick guess.. she admits to filling in circles without even having read the questions. Now, we didn't do much for timed tests at home and this was new to her. Her test scores arrived back at home and they were lower than she had hoped. They were not high enough to get into the college of her choosing. The composite score was high enough, but the math score she needed one more point.
At this point, is when she felt comfirmed in all her fears. She wasn't normal. She wasn't even adequate. She went through stages of grief. The anger was the hardest for me. Anger at Mom for ruining her life. I didn't make her take geometry which the ACT does test over. I gave her choices, but now she wasn't happy that I allowed those choices... I should have known better. She chided me because of her disappointment. We allowed her to visit a friend of many years that lives hours away. We thought this would give her some time to sort out this disappointment. No matter how we said this was first time test jitters, she felt we were wrong... she was just.... stupid. She came back from her friend's with more anger. This mom was more than I could ever be. Her friend (also homeschooled) was excelling, having taken more classes than she was required. She also was nearly finished with an associate degree before even graduating from high school. And their home... spotless, immaculate. I endured a couple weeks of deep criticism before Dad stepped in and told her she had overstepped the limits. Respect was something we had always tried to instill... a good character and hers wasn't shining at that moment. She got over her anger and her pain and we came up with a plan. She admitted she didn't want to be a nurse and really didn't even want to go to this college that she was disappointed that she didn't get high enough scores for. It was just the fact that she couldn't that she was hurting. Our plan was to get through this year and retest.
Last month she took her second ACT test. Her scores came back about two weeks ago. She scored 4 points higher. She ranks just above average in the composite for the state, but like 65% in the nation. She excelled in English... coming back in the 87th percentile for the nation. That was her best subject. And in math she was in 65th percentile...in the geometry/trig part of the test... and she didn't even take geometry or trig! She was a much happier person and you could see relief spelled out on her face. She may be an average homeschooler, with just over average scores on her ACT... that's all she wanted to be... average. She didn't want to be a doctor or an engineer. She didn't want to be the smartest in her "class". She just wanted to be average...not behind like she feared she was, not behind like she was when she was in school. Her life goals were to be a sahm and homeschool her own kids. Maybe do some type of work until marriage, but it was not her goal to have a major career that she would struggle to give up when she married.
I wanted to scream... HOW DARE anyone tell my daughter that her life goals are less than adequate. HOW DARE anyone push their ideals on her making her feel that she should be pitied because of her parents' poor choices. They think she could have been so much more... much more what? She's average... above average in fact. And just because she was homeschooled doesn't mean she had to be an Einstein. And just because she's above average in her college entrance exams doesn't mean she HAS to be something she doesn't want to be, or something she isn't led to be. God is leading her life as we feel He has led us to train her up. She has learned to listen to His voice... as long as she can do that, she has succeeded in our eyes.
Kate came up and gave both Dad and I big hugs. Thankful for her upbringing. Thankful for her schooling. Thankful for our home. Sorry for her outbursts in the past month or two. Both Dh and I knew she had it in her. We knew she was a very smart girl. We just didn't jump the hoops and take every test out there... in fact she hadn't been tested since 7th grade. So yes, we had uncertainty, but we trusted that God had led us down this path and He would see us through. She now has a new sense of identity. Now able to stand with shoulders back. Able to look others in the eyes and say... Hi, I'm Kate... this is ME...
My hope is that this post will encourage other "AVERAGE" homeschoolers. Don't let others put you down for not pushing your child to excel in academics. I'm not talking about ignoring academics, I'm talking about pushing until it hurts. What happens if your child is just average? What happens if your child struggles in reading, in math, in writing? Do we give up? Do we push until it hurts? Or do we pray to God for assistance? If God leads us to be average and focus on other things... do we follow? When others tell us we're doing it wrong, when others cause us to lose focus or feel inadequate, ....DON'T. ... Lean on God... His way works!
Warmly, ~Melissa
Comments
January 16, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by ChristianUnschooling
What a perfect post. Thanks for sharing that. I'd hasten to say MOST of us have "average" kids!
In my home we go by interests and I KNOW we'll have the same issues. Sure, at 14 he can rip apart a computer, knows how to build websites, more about software and hardware than most adults, but can he diagram a sentence (more advanced than nouns, adjectives, adverbs...) I think not!
But, when all is said and done, it's about THEIR individual education, not about them passing some college board test. like you said, your daughter knows SO MUCH! And so much that can't be tested and that needs LIFE to be learned!
Way to go mom and daughter!
Thanks
Elissa
January 27, 2008 - Average...
Posted by MotherHen
is just a word--or so I am learning. My 4th grader is what I would call average in math...and I am realizing very slowly that it is ok...she may never take more than Alg. 1 and consumer math...but she is a delight to be around...and like your daughter she wants to be a mom---"just like me", GULP. I only hope I do her justice. Thank you for your wise insight and your good example...and congratulations to your daughter who is marvelously prepared for REAL life! ~Motherhen
