Too Many Gods

Odin had announced that there would be a feast that night… and… well, when Odin announced something like a feast, no one would miss it.

Frija sighed again.  “I really wish that you hadn’t called for a feast tonight,” she complained to her husband Odin.  “I have a bad feeling about it.”

Odin laughed at her fears.  “You shouldn’t worry so much.  I’m the chief god, who do you think is going to get into trouble in my presence?”

Frija turned away unhappily, stomping through the halls of Valhalla.  “One-eyed shapechanger,” she muttered insultingly, knowing full well that her husband hadn’t heard her. 

Just then, Balder came bouncing in.  “What’s wrong, Mother?” he asked cheerfully.  “Nanna sent me over to find out if you wanted her to bring anything.”

“No, I think that your father has given the Valkyries the job of preparing the food,” replied Frija. 

Balder’s face fell.  “Oh.”

“What’s wrong?” they heard a voice rumble.  Thor came striding in, and the whole hall shook.

“Hullo, Thor,” said Balder, sounding unnaturally glum. 

Thor slapped his half-brother on the back.  “Now, now, don’t look so sad!  You’re making it rain.  And there were an awful lot of people having picnics.”

“That’s not my fault,” said Balder.  “Freyr and Sol got into a fight, because Freyr said that Sol has been making the sun shine too much and the people haven’t been getting enough rain to make their crops grow very well.  Sol says that Freyr is just jealous because she is the main goddess of the sun, and he only gets a little say in how many days are sunny.  I tell you what; there are too many gods around here.”

“Well, you’d better run along now and see if you can patch things up,” suggested Thor.  He gave Balder a helpful shove which almost tumbled him down to earth.

Frija greeted Thor politely, despite the fact that she remembered the last time they had a feast.  The gods had started showing off, bragging about who had started the most wars and caught the most girls, and Loki had stolen all the desserts while they were busy squabbling about who was the greatest.  Thor, unhappy at being cheated out of his honeyed sweets, had let loose with a few hours of thunder.

For the next few hours, various and many other gods and goddesses came into the hall.

Frija was kept busy trying to keep peace for a while, but then Balder returned with Sol and Freyr.  Neither of them looked extremely happy, but they were no longer trying to kill each other either, so that was a move up.

“Balder!” said Frija hastily.  “Would you mind sitting between Loki and Hod?  You know how Loki loves playing tricks on Hod just because Hod can’t see.  Like last time when he pulled Hod’s chair out from underneath him…”

Balder rolled his eyes.  “Why did Loki get invited?  He’s not even really a god,” he pointed out, going and sitting down at the table. 

“Hello Balder,” said Hod.  He looked quite pleased.  “I’m planning for it to snow in about two months.  Everyone should have their crops in by then, don’t you think?”

“Yes, I suppose so,” replied Balder.  “Did you check with who ever is in charge of harvesting?”

“I couldn’t remember who that was,” Hod admitted, somewhat sheepishly.  “I get so confused with which goddess specializes in what kind of fertility.”

“You have a good point there,” agreed Balder.  “I’d try Gerd, maybe.”

“Gerd??”  Hod sounded horrified.  “Oh, not her.  She is such a flirt.  Well, maybe Snotra could give me some advice.”

“That might be a good idea.”

Just then Ullr came in.  He took after his stepfather Thor – big and loud.  “WELL!” he boomed.  “HOD!  I HEAR THAT YOU’RE THINKING OF STARTING WINTER SOON!  THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT IDEA TO ME; THERE ARE A LOT OF FOLKS DOWN THERE WHO CAN’T WAIT TO GO SKIING!  AND OF COURSE, BEFORE SKIING THERE SHOULD BE A FEW WEEKS OF HUNTING, RIGHT?”

Hoenir, the silent god, gave Ullr an annoyed look.  But Thor didn’t notice.  “ULLR!” he shouted delightedly.  “HAVEN’T SEEN YOU IN A LONG TIME!  WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO?”

“NOT MUCH BUT I WAS WONDERING –” began Ullr, but no one ever found out what he was wondering as Odin came in. 

“I have called you all to a feast tonight because it occurred to me that the Valkyires needed some practice cooking.”

Everyone groaned. 

“That’s what I was so unhappy about earlier,” Balder whispered to Thor, remembering his unanswered question.

Thor nodded in agreement.  The last time the Valkyries had tried preparing a dinner, it was battle rations all around with blood pudding for dessert.

Odin laughed at their faces.  “I’m only joking, I actually wanted to hear Bragi recite his new saga.”

The gods were greatly relieved, and fell to feasting with a supernatural appetite.  Things were peaceful until Balder turned his back and Loki stole Hod’s wine, and Freyr and Sol began fighting again, and then, by mistake, Ullr’s soft-boiled egg got dropped in Hoenir’s lap… 

The night ended in a massive foodfight. 

“I told you it was a bad idea to have a feast tonight,” said Frija to Odin.

He pretended not to hear her.  A god had to pretend that he got some respect, after all.  But he wished that he didn’t have to try to keep all the gods in order… it was most embarrassing, he could never remember which gods were his sons and which ones weren’t and which ones shouldn’t have been… undoubtedly, there were too many gods.

Hmm... other than that, yay, I finally got it through the computer   that I actually meant for it to log me on on collegeboard so that I could start looking at SAT stuff. 

GRR.

They (computers, not SATs) can be so frustrating!

Oh, we went to a Chinese restaurant tonight... and I finally got around to trying out a little bit of Chinese (hey, it's only my third year!  *cough*)  Well, the ni hao ma (how are you) apparently went over fine, as the man assured me that it was right how I was pronouncing it...  ... but then after dinner I tried (on a different man, mind you) xiexie (thank you) the food was good...

him: 

So... maybe my Chinese pronunciation was terrible, maybe the Chinese and English in the same sentence threw him, or... (hopefully) he was just surprised to hear me (who doesn't look like a person who should know Chinese) speaking in Chinese...

Anyway, I think I really shall have to get Abbey from youth group to help me.   

Which reminds me of a funny quote from quizzing... we were talking about types of money used in different countries:

Tim:  In China, it's yen, right?

me:  *looks at Abbey*

Abbey:  I don't know!  I don't live in China!

Josc:  Yeah, but everyone looks automatically at you!