Our Quiverfull - Broviac Blues

Nov. 10, 2007

Broviac Blues

(Disclaimer right off the bat - this story ends well - better than it could have!!)

Well, I DID say yesterday that little Noah was very bothered by his broviac and was needing extra dressing changes because he kept rubbing the line. Shortly after I posted I noticed that he had worked a corner of the top dressing loose, but it was nothing that couldn't be taped down safely. Right after 5 PM I was changing his diaper. We check the broviac every time we change a diaper, change clothes, or do something with his TPN. When I checked it this time, I realized that he had peeled it all of the way off of his insertion site and it was only adhering on one edge. I taped it down and called the nurse, but since it was after hours, we got the on-call nurse. Hannah was out of the house for a few hours on Wednesday working for the mission, Hannah and Matthew and David were with my mom yesterday afternoon, and Hannah and Matthew weren't feeling well today (they are fine now) and spent their mornings on the couch . . . so to say we were a bit behind on our housework is an understatement. Add to that the fact that I was in the middle of fixing dinner and the little ones had created their typical "end of the day toy sprawl."

You have never seen a house get so picked up so fast. I think even the children were out of breath LOL. Not knowing the nurse, I just wasn't sure if she understood how quickly children can cover a house in Legos and crayons and so forth.

Turns out the nurse was very nice and very understanding. I had time to get our salmon in the oven and clean off the counters before she pulled in, so the house even smelled yummy.

She decided that she was going to "let" ME change the dressing this time, so if there was an after-hours emergency I would know what to do. I am generally up for a challenge, and had seen this done about one bazillion times, so I didn't have a problem with her plan.

Jeff and I are very used to antiseptic procedure, which means lots of hand scrubbing, surface cleaning, alcohol wipes, and gloves whenever we touch Noah's broviac or work with his TPN. A dressing change requires STERILE procedure - sterile field, sterile gloves, face masks for anyone in the room, etc. It is a tremendously big deal, and Noah's life literally depends on excellent sterile procedure. The nurse was trying to hold Noah down and remove his dressing while I scrubbed, sanitized, and got on my sterile gloves. The line got caught in the dressing and she had to let go of one of his arms to fight with the sticky dressing. Sensing that victory was close at hand, Noah decided to go for the gold and try to yank the broviac right out of his chest. I saw the gleam in his eye and realized what he was going to do, but I was holding my sterile gloved hands up in the air and couldn't touch him. The nurse couldn't grab his hand because the line was a disaster all tangled up in tape and sticky dressing (think about the worst tape-sticking-to-itself mess you've ever made, and multiply by ten.) I was wearing sturdily tied tennis shoes and started trying to kick them off using just my feet. I finally got one off and promptly used my foot to pin down Noah's arm while trying to get his legs under my leg (don't forget the seven month pregnant belly LOL). Mr. Smarty Pants realized that defeat was eminent so he took advantage of my awkward position to start shoving my skirt up . . .and up . . . and up using his feet. Now I was wrestling with this baby using my feet and legs, holding my sterile hands high in the air, with a skirt around my upper thighs. Yep, it was a Kodak moment.

In the meantime, Sarah kept trying to perform various stealth maneuvers so she could get into the room and see what was going on. She does an excellent low crawl, by the way. Jeff was trying to get dinner on the table. It was all cooked except the corn, and he kept calling "How do I cook the corn? Somebody come show me how to cook the corn!" This wasn't anything that was going to require a degree in rocket science (or in Home Ec, for that matter.) It was frozen Steamfresh corn - you know, the kind you toss in the microwave while it is still in the bag. Still wrestling, I called for Hannah to rescue him from the corn.

We finally untangled the tape, the nurse pinned Noah, and I did the dressing change while Noah completed his downward spiral into out-of-control hysteria and terror. All was well for maybe three seconds. As soon as I sat him up, he grabbed that line and yanked, peeling the bottom of the dressing up. I pinned, the nurse snatched up another dressing and slapped it right on top of the first one, and I sat Noah up. He promptly yanked the line with one hand and my hair with the other hand. The dressing peeled up, the hair came out. I pinned, the nurse snatched up another dressing and slapped it right on top of the second one, and I sat Noah up. At this point I was "cuddling" my child against my chest in something that probably bore more resemblance to an illegal wrestling move than a legitimate gesture of affection.

These dressing changes are so traumatic for Noah that he generally shuts down and falls deeply asleep within moments after I picked him up. Sure enough, he conked out in about sixty seconds. The nurse and I both breathed a sigh of relief. In the sudden silence, the sounds of happy children wafted in from the dining room. They were happy because their father was reading a Hank the Cowdog book to them while they ate desert. Jeff does excellent sound effects and noises. Those familiar with good old Hank will understand me here. The nurse and I were catching our breath, the children were giggling quietly, when Jeff hollered, in a distinct New England tinged Texas drawl falsetto, "Maggots!! Those things are maggots!!"

There were no maggots at my table, I promise. It was just a line from the book, but you should have seen the look on the nurse's face. She left very quickly at this point. I would imagine that she slept very, very well last night. I know I did.

Love,
Kate

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Comments

Nov. 10, 2007 - All's Well that ends...with maggots?

Posted by MamaDole

Glad everything ended okay! I always enjoy a good story, that includes maggots. :-) My folks' home business is a bait business and that's what they sell! It was *great* fun as a kid. ;-)

You must have been a sight! Wrestling Noah with your feet. Only a Mama could manage that!

Continuing in prayer.

Tracy, for the Dole clan