|
Nov. 19, 2009
anticipating blessings
Noah is still home, still stable, and doing well. We're still having to spend every Monday at the hem/onc clinic, but hope to start spacing those visits out soon. We can't do the venofer infusions at home, but are hoping to start having our home nurse draw the hem/onc labs at home then fax them to the clinic so that we don't have to go to clinic if Noah doesn't need an infusion that week.
Since there isn't much going on in the Noah arena (YAY), I thought I would share a little about what our family will be doing this Christmas season. I shared a little of this last year, but it was later in December and a number of readers wished they had heard these ideas early enough to incorporate them. I can't wait for the joy and blessings that we enjoy together every Advent, and hope that some of these ideas bless you!
ADVENT TRADITIONS
We love traditions. Doing some of the same things every year at the same time builds memories and gives children a strong sense of family. It also reduces stress since we aren't having to try to come up with something new - we just know that our family does so-and-so at certain times most years. We especially enjoy our Christmas traditions. They help us slow down and focus on Advent for an entire month instead of rushing around with "gift time" as the focus. Here are some of our favorite traditions.
1. Watching the Advent Calendar DVD. This is a fun DVD with a short segment for each day of Advent. Each segment teaches about the history of one Christmas tradition. Some are secular (the story behind Rudolph) and others are religious, but none are offensive. The children scamper to get ready for bed and get the dishes done so that we can watch this each night. (Here is the link to the DVD we watch. I just noticed that there is now a "volume 2," which we have not seen.)
2. Advent calendars. After watching our DVD, we open the appropriate section of one or more advent calendars. Some years we have one candy-filled calendar per child, other years they share and take turns. I try to buy a non-candy calendar such as a lego calendar during after-Christmas sales. My mom bought them a very cute Playmobil advent calendar this year.
3. Carol singing/prayer time. After the DVD and the calendars, we make sure everyone is totally ready for bed, then we gather at the table. We turn off most of the lights in the house and light candles at the table. We sing one or two Christmas carols/hymns, and some years Jeff reads some sort of devotional or reads from a Christmas book. When we are through, Jeff goes around the table and prays for each child, then they quietly go off to bed. I LOVE this tradition. There is something very peaceful about the candlelight and the singing, and the children seem to settle in bed so much better because of the quietness. Some years we do a traditional Advent wreath and other years we've just lit an assortment of candles. This year Jeff is going to be reading from The Jesse Tree (link here) each night. We got it last year and accidentally packed it away in our ornament boxes after we decorated the tree LOL. We looked high and low for it and didn't find it until after Christmas!
4. Secret Santas. Every year on Thanksgiving, the children each draw the name of one sibling. These "secret santa" assignments are kept very hush-hush and provide a lot of happy plotting. Each child buys a Christmas gift for their chosen sibling, and also tries to get away with other little surprises without giving away their identity. (Surprises might include a little note, a little treat left on the bed, doing one of the sibling's chores, etc.) They also pray especially for their chosen sibling through the month.
5. Looking at lights. Last year when Noah was sick a lot leading up to December, we asked the children which traditions were most important to them. I wanted to be sure to focus on the things that they treasured most. I was surprised that most of them listed this as one of their top favorite activities! It's as simple as can be - I make a big pot of hot chocolate, pour it into disposable coffee cups, and we all pile into the car. We crank up some Christmas music and drive around looking at Christmas lights. That's it! Nothing fancy and no real expense, but they love it. :-) I put the littles in their pj's so that the rest of our evening goes smoothly when we get home.
6. Cookie party. Each year we spend one single day decorating Christmas cookies, and we usually invite others to share the fun. I make the dough the night before, then get right up to roll, cut, and bake the cookies. I put frosting in ziplock bags and either just snip the corners off or put decorating tips on the bags, and I put out bowls of various candies and decorations. Each child has a large sheet of waxed paper as a work surface (cuts down on mess) and they have a blast decorating, laughing, listening to Christmas music, and (of course) sampling! We often have a fun, simple dinner like pizza that night and do something special like watching a Christmas movie or playing games while eating some of the cookies. While I truly love to bake treats from scratch, the important thing here is the time spent together and the memories made, so don't feel guilty if your cookies come from a package and your frosting from a tub!! (SECRET MOM TIP: You might be wondering why on earth we invite more people - aren't eight children enough? Here's my secret . . . if I invite others to come, I'm committed to the project. If I don't invite others, it's easy to get tired or behind on housework or whatever and just not get around to doing this. Since this is something our children treasure, I build in a fail-safe to be sure it happens. Remember -accountability is your friend LOL)
7. Decorating. We usually get our tree the Saturday after Thanksgiving, and we've built in lots of rituals and traditions there. We have a local tree farm down the road that offers free hayrides, a petting zoo, and all sorts of other festivities. We head there, enjoy the fun stuff, and buy an ornament or wreath or something. Since we don't buy our tree there, we feel like we should buy something to express our thanks for the fun they provided our family. We then head to a local tree lot that donates all of their proceeds to charity, and we get our tree there. This involves a great deal of debate and voting (and lots of playing hide-and-seek among the trees LOL) with each child hoping that his or her pick will end up being the "perfect tree." Each child receives a Christmas ornament each year, so decorating the tree brings back lots of memories and laughter as we talk about why a child got a certain ornament when he or she was younger. We also do some simple decorating around the house. (SECRET MOM TIP: Putting out some simple decorations is the best "clean up" strategy I know. Our house stays nicer looking during Advent because the children know they have to clean up really well before we decorate, and they aren't going to dump "stuff' on surfaces that hold decorations.) We often invite the grandparents to join us for our tree decorating time.
8. Reading by the fire. Over the years we've collected a box of books that we only pull out at Christmas. We try to take some quiet time in the afternoon to light a fire and sit and aloud. Other years we just pick a really good book (like The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe) that is a great read but not Christmas-y.
9. Family room picnic dinner. One night each December, Jeff and I will pick up a bunch of fun, snacky things for dinner and will serve dinner in the family room - usually with a movie. Favorites include clementine sections, meat/cheese/crackers, popcorn (maybe with special seasoning), sparkling grape juice, nuts, etc. Dessert that night is always s'mores with marshmallows we roasted in the fireplace. This is another one of those simple, inexpensive things that we all just love!
10. Crafts or hands-on projects as time, money, and busyness allow. I wanted to make a Jesse tree with the children last year, but it would have meant a level of stress that I wasn't willing to accept. Maybe we'll do it this year. Some years we make lots of homemade gifts for family and friends, and some years we just make cards. Oriental Trading is a good source for inexpensive craft kits that are generally packaged by the dozen - if you don't have a big family, go in on a couple of packages with a couple of other families and divide everything up. We've used these for homemade gifts or just for a fun afternoon activity. Lots of prayer is the key here to know what is right for your family this year.
11. Sharing with others. Again, this varies by year to year, but we always try to put an emphasis on serving those who are less fortunate than ourselves. We've found that if we pray and are sensitive to the Spirit, the Lord will impress the right opportunity on our hearts. We've done things like Angel Tree (waaay more meaningful if you can sign up to help deliver the gifts, btw), Operation Christmas child, making blankets for needy children, we decorating placemats for Meals on Wheels or making and taking gifts to a nursing home - it all just depends on our season of life that year.
What we DON'T do during Advent is run around to parties and activities. We almost always turn down invitations to outside activities during December. Our focus is on lots of shared activities WITHOUT stress. This is a season of joy and blessing for us, and if any activity is going to rob us of our joy, then we don't do it. It's that simple. We put a really high priority on being together as a family and having peaceful days. This is especially important during Advent and we hope it's sending our children the message that this season is about so much more than gifts, materialism, and the rushed madness that seems to be the norm this time of year. Children really truly don't need expensive, elaborate, busy Decembers. It's surprising how much they cherish little things like the treat of some eggnog after dinner, a special dessert, the surprise of hot chocolate, cookies, and a read-aloud in the middle of the afternoon "just because," and so forth - and a calm, unstressed mama who has time to snuggle is far more
precious to children than anything money can buy!!
It's also important to take extra time with your husband during Advent. Consider his needs and be sure to incorporate any traditions that he finds important. Jeff and I have a weekly date night, but during Advent we try to find time for more mini-dates too - even just sitting in front of the fire with some cocoa for a little while after the children are in bed. Take extra time to pray for him during this season. It's easy to feel like we mamas can get overworked during Advent, but don't forget that your husband may be feeling extra pressure due to extended family dynamics, finances, etc.
GIFTS
When it comes to finances during Christmas, we learned have learned how to abound and now we are learning how to be abased. Whether we had lots of money to spend or not, we realized long ago that it was easy to get overwhelmed with STUFF during December. Three of our children have birthdays in December - add that to Christmas gifts for 8 children and you are talking about a boatload of toys and games and so forth. Several years ago we decided to give just one really nice gift to each child, plus a really nicely loaded stocking. They also each get a gift from their Secret Santa Sibling, and we also often give several multi-child gifts, such as a game or DVD - things that multiple children can enjoy together and that don't belong to any one person. Since our children have very generous grandparents, we've encouraged the grandparents to focus on things like swim lessons rather than tons of toys. (Other non-stuff ideas are zoo memberships and museum memberships, or a joint family item like swing set.)
Now I'll be honest here. I'm not sure that we'll be buying much of anything for the children this year, including a tree. The money just simply isn't there . . . but that is OK. It is really and truly fine. I'm sharing this because I want to encourage others out there who are experiencing serious financial issues this year, but I am NOT sharing it to garner sympathy. Like I said, Jeff and I don't see this as a problem. Instead, we've seen it as a challenge. We've tried to live in such a way that our children could see Christmas for more than the gifts. There was a time when I thought that children HAD to have piles of gifts or it "wouldn't be Christmas." I've learned better, and our children have too. Even though historically we've bought them some very nice things, gifts are never mentioned when we ask what they enjoy most about Advent. This season is so rich, and that time of gift opening (while admittedly loads of fun) isn't the point of the season. Our children won't be "deprived" this year. If nothing else, they will certainly be getting gifts from their grandparents.
I'll say it one more time, because it bears saying, and because I don't want to get a bunch of critical emails from people who missed it the first time I said it . . . this is all OK. I'm not looking for sympathy. I truly don't need it. Jeff and I really are at peace with this. I wouldn't be honest if I didn't admit to a twinge of "oooh, I wish I could by such and such for so and so," but it's really only been a twinge. Our children know they are loved by both their earthly parents and their heavenly Father, and they are right with us anticipating the blessings of Advent - blessings that don't come wrapped in shiny paper with big bows on top. They also know that in every moment of their days they are so incredibly, abundantly blessed FAR beyond so many other children in the world!!
So if I'm not looking for sympathy, or complaining about money, then why get so transparent and honest and real here? It's because I would imagine that some of you are in similar situations, and maybe you could use the encouragement of knowing you aren't alone in this. Maybe some of you aren't in this situation and are realizing that maybe you've put too much focus on the stuff, and maybe you could use the encouragement that comes from hearing another perspective on this.
I've got some practical encouragement here too. The Lord has led us to various opportunities to obtain some of their birthday gifts (for the December kids) for free or for very little money, and we KNOW that He will lead us to similar opportunities for Christmas gifts if the children are meant to have them. We've already found a number of free or almost free goodies for their stockings. One focus in being this transparent is to share how we have gotten some of these items. Listing all of my tips and tricks is really a blog post of its own, and I'll try to write it and get it up in the next day or two. There are some amazing bargains to be had if you look to the Lord and get creative!!! In the meantime, can I humbly encourage you (regardless of your financial situation) to take some time to pray about how the Lord would have you celebrate this Advent? If you have an open and obedient heart, I promise you'll be blessed!
Blessings,
Kate
|
| �
Post A Comment! �
Send to a Friend!
|
Comments
|
|
|
|
Posted by Anonymous 
Posted by 
Posted by 
Posted by 
Nov. 21, 2009 - Christmas
Just thinking about getting just the right gifts that will thrill the kids has become a huge stress this year. Hubby has "decree'd" that there will be one 'big" gift, and maybe a few stocking stuffers. I am SO releived!!!
The tree isn't an issue with us. most of us react whenever there's a live tree in the house, so we stick to the fake pre-lit one that sits in the corner of the room year-round.
Last year, my mom encouraged the boys to pick something from the Samaritan's Purse holiday book. They LOVED the idea! One picked to feed a baby for a week, and the other choose buy towards a water filtration system for a town. How cool was that! They cartainly didn't need any more toys!
Giving up on the idea of "we gotta' get them everything they want" has SOO freed my heart up to enjoy the season.
BTW: on year my hubby found bunches of Rocenbok sets (pretty expensive remote controlled construction vehicle sets) at a Goodwill type store... I bought a big rubbermaid bucket for it all and that was their Christmas presents - used toys -- They loved it!!
Just to let you know that you're not the only one looking for inexpensive or few presents.
As a side note, my all time favorite present I ever got was a doll I found at a garage sale when I was probably 6 or so... Mom bought it for my b-day along with a box of clothes mom had saved from when I was a baby. I still have the doll and what clothes have survived. (30+ yrs later). I guess mom started a tradition.
Thanks for the pat-on-the-back and encouragement. I think we'll be making a bunch of baked goods this year.
Blessings!
JRA in CO