I have come to realize that I don't need to use this site for information only, but that it can serve as a great place to spill out my thoughts and fears as I gain them.  I also figure that by sharing my feelings with you, it will help to clarify our personal journey in the unfortunate world of food allergies.

     I watched the documentary that I just posted about early this morning.  Everytime I come across someting like that, it serves as a great reminder to me just how serious are Randy's food allergies.  His allergy to peanut is definitely a fatal one.  Egg I can only suspect based on the testing he has done and how badly he has reacted in the past based only on coming into contact with it.  He has only been fed egg in its plain form once, and that was when he was just a year old.  He was fed the egg the same day he had the anaphylactic reaction to the peanut butter.  So, I don't know 100% if he is or is not anaphylactic to egg.  But, I do know that by feeding him the egg that one time his body is now sensitized to it. 

     We have made many recent changes in our lives, as you have come to learn.  In retrospect, I realize that we should have made many of these changes long ago.  I guess that I was either living in denial, or I was just plain stupid about certain situations.  Again, every time I learn of another food allergy kid, especially one that has lost their life to a reaction, I am reminded completely of just how careful we must be...AT ALL TIMES!

     This is easier said than done.  In the past we would dine out from time to time.  I no longer feel safe doing so.  Even though some of the restraunts appear to be safe, the possibility of cross-contamination is enough of a hazard that it is a threat to Randy.  It is sometimes hard to explain to Randy why we can no longer go to these places.  (you can read about a recent experience here)  For a kid, McDonald's has become almost a right of passage in our culture! 

     Another example is our decision to homeschool.  Even though there is a lot of progress being made in the schools, due to the fact that Randy's peanut allergy is life threatening, we do not feel safe sending him there.  (I have to add here, though, that I am proud to have made this decision for other reasons than keeping him safe.  I have learned so much about homeschooling that I now realize there are many other benefits in doing so.) 

     These are just two of the aspects of our lives that are effected.  I could write more about other things such as birthday parties, family reunions, and everything else in our culture that includes food.  But, I would be here all day.  The thing is, sometimes I get overwhelmed and start second guessing myself.  I start asking myself questions like, "Am I being overprotective?," or "Am I ruining his life by making so many restrictions on our/his life style?" 

     These questions may seem ridiculous to some of you, but they are examples of the struggles I deal with on a daily basis.  Some days are better than others.  Like I said before, much thanks to the other families out there who are sharing their heart wrenching stories. It is because of you, I do get stopped in my tracks and am forced to reckon with the reality that this is our life.  I am doing the right thing!