RECENTLYIt has been crazy in the McEuen household. I'm tired, need a break and am ready to collapse. Won't go into too much detail now (mostly, cause I don't want to relive it all), but things have been tough here. I'm trying hard to not complain, b/c I know that God is good and that He is taking good care of us. We did receive a lot of money for our income taxes and loans this semester and were able to pay 7 months of rent to our landlord. What a true blessing that was! And we were able to also pay some debts off and pay forward on our water, electricity, gas, and car. That is such a relief.
My husband is now working 38 hours a week at his new job. It's very exciting to see him doing something that he wants to do. He loves it and I'm happy for him. I've been doing what I want to for the last 5 years, staying at home with my wonderful children and teaching them. So I understand his desire to do the same. He is also going to school 2 full days a week (plus a lab on Wednesday). It's funny to see him talk about school. He's so much older than the other students, but he gets a kick out of them anyway. He wishes he could speak to them about school...how they take advantage of it now and in the future, will wish that they had studied and were attending classes. He's also doing another play this 6 weeks, so he's gone quite a bit. I'm really ready for a break and could use a few hours off. Don't really know what I would do (go to the scrapbook store, maybe). But the kids and I really do need some time away from each other and they need some time with daddy alone! He did make them breakfast this morning (pre-packaged mini muffins and a banana), so I'm grateful for that.
We are thinking of leaving our church. We've only been there for 1 year and a few months, but we are not growing and my kids (no LIE) are the only ones in the children's dept. It's frustrating to me that we are not growing and I need some ministering of my own. I just can't keep doing it all. I feel like I'm giving and giving and giving so much of myself, that I'm not getting in return and I'm slowly breaking down. And I can't be effective that way. There is a church here in town, only minutes from our front door, that I would like to try and my husband is willing to try it out and see. But I need to wait on him (considering he's the music minister at our church and the pastor is his father) and I only want to make decisions with him...although, these days, it's hard to talk about such big, life-altering changes, when we barely get to say "so how was your day?".
Sorry for the rants and raves. I'm tired and need a nap desperately. But I'm barreling through... On the bright side, my kids are so sweet and precious and my baby (who is 2) is sing OLD MCDONALD HAD FARM...ON HIS FARM HE HAD A DOLPHIN...it's so cute. The snow has finally melted (we got 5 inches this time last week) and so it's time to go outside, considering it's already 55 degrees outside. May be time for another zoo trip...ha!
Dear Lord, I pray that you give me strength and patience the next few weeks, as we sort out schedules and activities. Lord, I pray that you will help me to stay busy, while keeping up and not feeling like I'm "drowing" in all of this. Lord, I pray that you will continue to heal Mark, as he continues in chemo and radiation. I pray that you will help us to discern what it is that we should do in regards to church. Thank you for my two little darlings. They are such blessings to me and I cherish their smiles and laughter, their hugs and kisses, their tinkles and pokes. Thank you for them and for a husband who works so hard to make his family feel safe and protected. Thank you that he strives to work hard for us and make a better life for us. And thank you, so much, for the life that you've given me and this beautiful home that you have blessed me with. In YOUR HOLY Name, Amen