Preschoolmommy - AARRGGHHH! (in the upset way, not the piratie way)

Mar. 31, 2006 - AARRGGHHH! (in the upset way, not the piratie way)

My in-laws ended up not staying the nite. They locked their keys in the car at the gas station, right as they were getting on the road. They did make it in time for breakfast though on Thursday. My MIL called me on Wednesday, to apologize for her daughter calling and inviting herself over. She was really embarassed. She told me that they would take us all out to dinner on Thursday, to make up for it.

We headed to my MIL/FIL house at 4. As I walked in the house, it was windy. The first words outta SILs mouth is "we may need to stay with you tonite...if that's ok?" I was like, "how dare you" but didn't say anything. Then she made a comment about the weather and storms. I thought, "not if you leave now. If you leave now, you won't have any problems"...but again, I kept my mouth shut.

So we eat and have a nice dinner. So as we are leaving the restaurant, it's even windier and his parents are telling SIL/BIL to stay over. They were really pushing it. I kept thinking, "don't push it. It's my house. NOT YOURS that they would be staying at"

We didn't get to bed till 1:30 the nite before, so the kids were also a bit cranky by the time supper came. To give you a picture, at one point during the day, 2G2 hair was outta control, so I gave her Pebbles Flintstone hair and stuck a pony tail on the top of her head. It was really cute and funny, too. But 1B5, in his big brother voice, says, "Your hair looks weird!" She ran away. I calmly turned to him and said, "Son, that was not very sweet. We don't say things like that. You could hurt her feelings". He immediately began to cry. He is such a sweet little boy, that when he realized he hurt her, he was so upset. They both sat in my lap, telling EACH OTHER that they were sorry and hugging. They spent the next 2 hours in my lap, just cuddling and watching the game.

We all went to their house after supper (minus J, who was at rehearsal). We practically watched the weather all nite and BIL and SIL decided to stay over (by the way, at this point, no body had even talked to me about it!). So, we are all in the living room, watching the news and my SIL gets up from the couch. Next thing I know, I hear her YELLING. She has her teacher voice on. I hear her YELLING some more about how "you are not a nice little girl. That is not how nice little girls behave. you don't act like that. you have to be nice. that is so mean" and she just keeps going on and on. I sit up and look across the room and 2G2 has this look on her face. She, I kid you not, has this look of "save me, mommy" on her face. She started to cry. Not just whine or scream, but literally cry like she has been so hurt. Not a pain hurt, but hurt. No way to describe it. I was so upset. I have never seen my baby look like that before. It was worse than the cry Sean gave me earlier. Same look, but more pain. So before I can get up, my MIL runs over there and scoops 2G2up, trying to calm her down. All the while, SIL is still yelling at MY child...at my BABY! She was talking to her like she's one of her 3rd grader in the classroom...SHE IS 2!!!!! So I call 1B5 to me and ask what was happening. He said that his sister was sitting on him. But that they were playing. They do that all the time. She wasn't hitting him or hurting him or even crushing him. She had just plopped down on his butt and he was playing. I said, "you know if you don't like that, you can get up, right?" He said, "yes. she was fine!" I WAS MAD!

1/2 hour passes and MIL comes to me and says, "I don't think you hafta worry about them staying tonite." FIL says, "why? what did we do now?" She said, "SIL is mad at me, cause I stepped in with 2G2. She said that she wasn't done talking to her." I said, "Oh YES SHE WAS!" Then I said, "2G2 isn't used to being talked to like that. She's 2." She was being really harsh with 2G2 and had no right to!

Ok, I usually don't mind it when people get on to my kids. My best bud is with my kids more than anyone I know. More than my parents, more than J's folks, more than J sometimes, but she doesn't yell at my kids! When we lived in LR there was a group of us, 5 couples, that hung out all the time. We were with each other about 4 times a week. We took care of each others kids, telling them to calm down, telling them to stop fighting, telling them that we loved them. That is ok with me. We were all taking care of each others kids, cause we saw them all the time...

But my kids don't know their Aunt. They see her once a year and she was bossing MY kids! But for her to not even BE FINISHED made me mad. What else was she going to say? That 2G2 was a bad kid. She's 2, for Pete's sake! I immediately had 1B5 get his over shirt on. I was finished. For the next 30 minutes, SIL was crying and all puffy faced when she came back out. She was so mad at MIL and MIL said she didn't care. So then when SIL comes out and tells her "I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't know why I get so emotional", MIL just laughed it off and said she was sorry. Then they talked about how 2G2 wasn't listening and turning her back on SIL...DUH! You were yelling at her and you are a stranger! So then she talks about school and how her kids should fear her. I nearly lost it. We left shortly after.

On the way home, I didn't talk. I did say to FIL as we were pulling out of the drive way and it was pouring huge drops on us, "are they staying or not?" He said he didn't know. I said, "I guess I don't mind, since it is storming, I"d just like to know." That was all that was said. I came home and just cried. I will not get that look outta my mind for as long as I live. My baby looked so sad and so hurt! It brought me pain.

So that's my evening. Today I'm still irritated. Maybe I should be. Maybe I shouldn't. Not sure yet! I do know that I love my children and it's time for them to take a break from family for awhile...thanks for letting me vent and thanks for sticking around to read this.

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Comments

Mar. 31, 2006 - Untitled Comment

I am so sorry you had to deal with that! We had a blow up at my in-laws a few years back. I actually told dh, that I was not ever willing to go back to their house. In my opinion they were picking on our eldest son, which brought out the mama bear in me. It's a tough one when you have to interact with people you never would, just because they are related. BTW, it sounds like your SIL was way out of line, I couldn't imagine reprimanding someone else' child like that!

Jennie von Eggers
www.TimesTales.com
www.CreativeHomeschooling.com

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Apr. 1, 2006 - Untitled Comment

Thank you for the nice things you said about my dh. To answer your question, Yes, I have had several of the things he has made but NOT at home, only by going to the restaurants he has been over and eaten there. Funny thing is, HE is not the one who prepares it as I am usually eating with him. However, they are his recipes/creations that others are duplicating. Making gourmet food at home can be quite expensive as much of the stuff you can't find in a normal store.
However, a few days ago, he came home with a buffet of high end desserts (like pot'o cream, chocolate mousse, poached pears,etc) which I ate way too much of. That was only because he taught a gourmet baking class.

Jennie von Eggers
www.TimesTales.com
www.CreativeHomeschooling.com

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Apr. 4, 2006 - Untitled Comment

What a difficult evening you had. You are a better person than I. I believe I would have bopped SIL in the mouth! HMPH!!!!! I have a real problem with people I don't know and who don't know my kids very well correcting them. But like you, there are situations when I am with friends and we all watch the children and step in as needed. Sounds like SIL needs some classes on how to treat children. I'm glad it's over and remember...it's okay to tell your SIL how rude she is being!

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