Pleasant Boundaries
A friend once asked me about the concept of having boundaries. She didn’t know if it was a scriptural concept since you don’t see the word ‘boundaries’ too many times in the Bible. Her comment spurred me on to do an in-depth study on this topic.
Psalm 16:6 says that the boundary lines have fallen in pleasant places for David. What boundaries was he talking about? In verse one, we see that one of those boundaries was using God as his place of refuge. Another boundary was walking in the realization that apart from God, David had no good thing in him. (verse 2)
David says in verse 3 that he delights in God’s people. He realizes that fellowship with the world is crossing the line of pleasant boundaries. Next we find the boundary of only following the one true God, for crossing that boundary line will cause our sorrows to increase.
In verse 5, David has discovered that he can have a secure boundary by trusting in God. He sees in verse 7 that there is a boundary of following godly counsel, rather than crossing that line and walking in the counsel of the wicked. (Psalm 1)
Since David has set the Lord always before him, he knows that he won’t be shaken. (verse 8) Walking in the boundaries that God has set forth causes David to rest secure. (verse 9) Some people may perceive God as a cruel dictator who won’t let you have any fun. They think of Him as a God who gives you a huge list of things that you can no longer do. David sees those same boundaries as a pleasant thing. That is why he was able to say in verse nine that he could rest securely. The results of staying in God’s boundary lines leads to being filled with joy and finding eternal pleasures. (verse 11)
Are you staying in the boundary lines?
© 2005, Stacy R. Miller
Boundaries
Is it scriptural to have boundaries in our lives? I did some research in my Bible to see what I could find on this topic.
While the word ‘boundaries’ isn’t used frequently throughout scripture, I do believe that the concept is there. God gave us the 10 Commandments. Those are definitely some boundaries of things we should and shouldn’t do. Saving sex for marriage is another boundary, but it is a very good boundary. You don’t risk catching a sexually transmitted disease, and you don’t run the risk of feeling guilty or dirty for having given your most precious gift to someone outside of marriage. You won’t end up bombarded with dreams over a sordid past if you keep yourself pure, saving your virginity for your husband.
In Ephesians 6:1-3, children are admonished to obey their parents. Staying in this boundary line has a wonderful promise connected to it – that it may go well with them and that they may enjoy a long life.
In Titus 2:3-5, women find some boundaries that tell them to love their husbands and children, to be busy at home, being self-controlled, kind, and pure, and being subject to our husband. What is the result when we choose to stay in this boundary line? The word of God will not be blasphemed. Again, we see another good boundary line.
In I Peter 3:7, we find a boundary line for the husband. He is to be considerate of his wife, treating her as the weaker partner, yet still an heir with him in God’s grace. What is the benefit of not crossing this boundary line? His prayers will not be hindered.
In James 4:7, there is another boundary line in submitting ourselves to God. The result of not crossing the boundary line is that we will be able to resist the devil, knowing that he will flee.
In Philippians 4:6-7, we have a boundary line regarding an anxious heart. Instead of being anxious, we can stay in our boundary lines by praying with a thankful heart. The end result is that God’s peace will guard our hearts and minds.
In Philippians 2:14-15 we are admonished not to cross the boundary line and start complaining or arguing. If we stay in the boundary line, and conduct ourselves without giving into the fleshly tendency to complain and argue, we will shine like the stars in the universe.
People will notice when we begin to shine brightly!
Do your boundary lines cause you to shine like the stars?
© 2005, Stacy R. Miller
Wise Boundaries
Proverbs is filled with such wisdom, even for myriad of issues we face today. I have discovered several boundaries in that book that I trust you will find helpful.
If we don’t forsake wisdom, she will protect us and watch over us. (Proverbs 4:6) I sure wouldn’t want to cross a boundary line like that! I need all the wisdom I can get!
Do you need life and health to your whole body? Stay in the boundary lines of listening closely to God’s words and keep them stored up in your heart. (Proverbs 4:20-22)
If you want a fast way to avoid sinning with your tongue, learn to avoid talking so much.
Where words are many, sin isn’t far behind. (Proverbs 10:19) Staying in the boundary lines can cause us to have a tongue that brings healing, whereas crossing that line may cause us to speak reckless words that can pierce like a sword. (Proverbs 12:18)
Walking in the path of the righteous will result in being rescued from trouble. Instead, the trouble will follow the wicked. (Proverbs 11:8)
Choosing to stay in the boundaries of being a wife of noble character can be a crown to your husband. Stepping over that boundary line and becoming a disgraceful wife can cause you to like decay in his bones. (Proverbs 12:4)
There are even boundaries about the company we keep. If we walk with the wise, we will become wise, but when we cross the line and hang out with fools, we will suffer harm. (Proverbs 13:20) We are even told to cautious in friendship because if we aren’t, we may end up crossing the boundary line and going down a path that will lead us astray. (Proverbs 12:26) If you desire to build friendships that cultivate peace and harmony, then don’t cross the line and be friends with a person who has a hot temper. They will just stir up dissension. (Proverbs 15:18) In I Corinthians 5, we are warned to stay away from a person who claims to be a Christian, yet is sexually immoral, greedy, an idolater, a slanderer, a drunk, or a swindler. While this is a clear boundary, it is also a good and pleasant boundary. God knows that it’s much easier for those kinds of people to pull us down, rather than us pulling them up.
Do you need some advice? Be sure to seek out a person who is wise. They have knowledge flowing from their lips, but a foolish person will have nothing to offer you but trouble and deceitfulness.
(Proverbs 14:7, 15:4, 7)
I remember a time in my life when I had to cut off a destructive friendship. This person continued to try and be in contact with me, and wasn’t nice about it either. It was a time of immense turmoil for me. I never knew when I’d encounter this person, so I was always on edge. As I began to grow in the Lord, I discovered that if I would just strive to please God, He would take care of this ungodly person. Staying in that boundary and trusting God to deal with it led to having peace and no more visits or phone calls from this person. You see, God causes even our enemies to be at peace with us when our ways please Him. (Proverbs 16:7)
Do you desire wealth, honor, and life? If so, learn to fear the Lord. (Proverbs 22:4)
I don’t know any women who don’t like chocolate. It’s so good, and so sweet. Yet there is a boundary line for us that also brings something incredibly sweet. It is storing up wisdom; it is sweet to your soul.
Does your soul need sweetened?
Moving the Boundaries
I have discovered that many women are ‘rescuers.’ When they hear of a problem, they automatically want to jump up and help. While that can be a very good quality, it can also cause us to jump over the boundary lines that God has in place for us. When God tells us to sit still, but we continue to jump up and help, we may end up trading God’s best for something less. When asked to do something, I have learned to tell the person that I need to pray about it first. Sometimes I know right away that there is no way I can do it, and I will say so. Yet there are other times when I can get caught up in the excitement of the moment and want to commit to doing something. If I signed up and committed myself, and it wasn’t God’s will for me to do it, I’m going to quickly feel stressed, overburdened, grouchy, angry, and I’m going to sense a lot of discord in my spirit.
At the time I’m writing this, I just attended a children’s worker’s meeting. It was so easy to get caught up in the excitement of the youth pastor and want to do more! Yet, at the same time, I realize that God is calling me away from that ministry since I am now teaching a class for ladies on Sunday morning and on Wednesday nights. As hard as it was, I had to let our youth pastor know that I would be stepping down from helping once a month to only helping about four times a year when they do their ‘fun day.’
I’ve been helping in children’s church for about three years now. I’ve never felt ‘called’ to that place of ministry. Rather, it was a convenient place to serve because it didn’t require that I take my daughter to a sitter so that I could go ‘serve God.’ She was even allowed to attend the quarterly meetings with me. At the same time, I kept having dreams from the Lord of being used to teach women’s ministry. I knew deep down that my time in there was coming to an end, yet it was still hard to give it up because our church is without a pastor right now, and attendance is drastically dropping. They really need the help in that department because the workers are few. Yet, if I continued on in that ministry, it was going to be a distraction to where God is taking me now. My passion is to teach and encourage women, so it’s time to allow God to move my boundary lines in a different direction.
I share this personal example with you to get you to evaluate your own life. Does God want to move some of your boundary lines? Are you holding Him back?
© 2005, Stacy R. Miller
Guarded Boundaries
Do you ever feel pressured to do things you know are not God’s best for you? It seems that we are constantly facing people who are trying to get us involved
in activities or commitments that we just don’t feel good about, yet we have a hard time saying ‘no’ to them.
We must be careful to guard our hearts, not allowing them to be swayed emotionally, taking us across a boundary line that God has put into place in our lives. We need to guard our boundaries!
Even Jesus felt the need to guard His boundaries. In Matthew 13:36, we see that Jesus left the crowd and went into the house. Notice that the crowd didn’t leave, but Jesus did. There were times that He knew He needed to pull away.
In Matthew 14:22, Jesus made the disciples get in the boat and go ahead of Him to the other side, then He dismisses the crowd so He could pray. It had been a mentally exhausting day because his cousin had just been beheaded. Jesus knew that He needed to come apart or He would end up ‘coming apart.’ He needed to find that place of solitude to pray through His grief over the vicious death of His beloved cousin. He needed God to refill Him with some fresh oil so that He would have something to offer those who sought Him. Sometimes we need to dismiss the crowds in our own life. We need to send the children to their room, turn off the phone, turn off the TV, the computer, and get alone with God.
In Luke 4:42-44, Jesus is praying and the crowds come after Him once again. They were pressuring Him to stay there with them. Jesus had His priorities in order, and He knew that if He stayed there, He would be crossing a boundary line. He told the people that He was to be preaching the good news to other towns. He wasn’t persuaded to stay, no matter how much they pressured Him to do so.
It’s the same with us – we will be pressured to sign our children up for activities because ‘everybody else is doing it.’ We will be pressured to get involved in more church activities than what is feasible for us. Keep in mind that when you overstep the boundaries and get involved in too many activities or you take on too many charity cases, you may end up not being able to do a good job of taking care of your husband and your children. And guess what? If YOU don’t do it, no one else will! Why? Because God has called YOU to do it!
Even commercials bombard us, pressuring us to spend more money. If we don’t have the money, it’s no problem, just call the 800 number for a quick and easy loan! We must guard our boundaries! One of the best ways we can guard those boundaries is by simply guarding our hearts for it is the wellspring of life. (Proverbs 4:23) If we don’t guard our hearts, that wellspring of life will run dry very quickly. We will have crossed a boundary line that leads us to a very dry and parched land.
© 2005, Stacy R. Miller
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